One specific example is "Fight Club". Yes, there's explosions and punching, but that's not it. Penny disliked it strongly - I was surprised at how much I connected with it.
Another example is "The Unbearable Lightness of Being". No it's not about the nudity (very nice, though). There are moments when I really connect with the character that Daniel Day-Lewis portrays.
For both these movies and others like them, it's not that I want to be like these men, but I understand them.
Yesterday, Penny wrote:
Check out the latest J. Carroll column at sfgate.com.
Does this have anything to do with the fight Club discussion? i think we're probably not done with that yet, i can feel some more stuff trying to form itself at the back of my consciousness...
And after some thought, I replied.
Yep, Mr. Carroll is on it.
It may get down too a bunch of visceral emotions, which if expressed poorly, sound sexist and boorish.
Perhaps it's like this: at our core, men understand that women, females in general, are stronger and tougher than us. Able to endure more pain and stress and better suited to work out the details. Of course men and women are different, but what we also know is that they're better.
What we also suspect is that men, males, are also MORE emotional than women. Yes, women are better able to express emotions, but they also seem to tolerate them more. Emotions are frightening and are better mastered. At least that's what our instincts tell us. Don't get out of control. Don't get carried away. Find ways to yell and shout that don't end up in people getting killed.
Why do women long survive the death of their mates while men often quickly die? It's not that they can't fend for themselves, certainly not any more. But the pain and the loss overcome them.
It all boils down to this: I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
In the company of men there is a comfort in belonging. There's a shared, instinctive pleasure at the demonstration of a mastered skill, regardless of it's useful value. We grope around for a way to express what we're feeling and it doesn't fully connect with the language parts. But when we see it, in a movie, in a novel, we connect.
Where's Mr. Pinker when you need him?
To which she replied:
Further thought -- oblique series of associations: in the movie Moonstruck, the character played by Olympia Dukakis asks several times throughout the films what makes men act the way they do? (She's in a particular situation). And she comes up several times with the answer: because they are afraid of death. She tells her husband of many years, finally, Cosmo, you're gonna die no matter what you do. Accept it.
and then:
I just went to your web site, realizing I hadn't read it yet today. This was AFTER I wrote the email about Moonstruck. And there you are, on the theme from a different side...
Amazing
Yes, we men are deeper than we appear.
So, if I were King of the forest, the first thing I would do is abdicate and hand things over for the women to run.
No comments:
Post a Comment