As If I Didn't Hate Microsoft Already

Christ.

'iPod users are music thieves' says Ballmer - silicon.com

When did Karl Rove start working for Microsoft? Ballmer's comments are a massive smear at iPod users - backed up with nothing. Lies. It's viscous and mean. And it's an insult.

Microsoft is so greedy that they can't stand success anywhere but by themselves. I'm an iPod user - I'm still using my 1st generation 5 gig iPod - my daughter bought a 3rd generation 10 gig for herself. Not one song on either is stolen. Every one is either burned from CDs I own or from music I legally purchase online.

Oh. Wait. I didn't purchase any of that stuff from Microsoft. So let me restate what Ballmer was trying to say. "If you didn't buy it from us, you're stealing from us."

And directly to Mr. Ballmer. You can't see me right now, but I'm giving you the finger. Asshole.

Captain Randy Declares For Kerry

It's not exactly as if I had a choice.

I've been living under a cloud of dread since the 2000 election. I feared the worst from Bush and his gang and got exactly what I feared. War. Loss of civil rights. Massive national debt with nothing to show for it. A world teetering on the edge of generational warfare and inherently unsafe for travel outside our own borders. A deeply divided America.

And my sense of dread for the coming election is palpable. I couldn't bring myself to watch the debates - mainly because I can't stand listening to Bush.

Today is October 1. Here's my prediction. Kerry will begin to slowly pull ahead in the polls. Then Karl Rove and his team of thugs, successors of Lee Atwater (who if you believe in cosmic justice or karma, found that doing evil bounces right back at you - and was man enough to admit it at the end), will go nuclear on every type of smear, dirty trick and outright lies, striking fear wherever they can. There are already reports of "Push Polling" going on - the technique Rove uses to smear a rival like he did for John McCain "Would you still vote for McCain if you learned that he fathered a black child out of wedlock?". For Kerry he's using "Would you still vote for Kerry even though he's going to raise your taxes?"

Here's the facts, America. Rove and company think you are stupid. They believe they can manipulate you. When they're down, they don't stick to the fundamentals. They will do literally anything to win. They have before.

It's just too damn depressing.

But I stand firm and clear. I have hope. Bush is bad for America, bad for the world. Kerry is an intelligent and experienced man who will be dramatically better for all of us. I urge you to support him on election day.

But remember, if you're contacted by a pollster, lie. Let's make it a surprise landslide and make polling useless.

Scary Graphs and Incomprehensible Systems

I do it just to torture myself, but every day I visit this site:

Current Electoral Vote Predictor 2004

Regardless of your political leanings, this type of "predict the outcome" based on polling and projections is stomach churning. In the past few weeks the us map displayed there has shifted wildly.

I restate my advice on polls: lie. Polls are a fundamental invasion of privacy and a direct attempt to nail down the future. Resist! If you're approached, phoned, or mailed by a pollster, run away. Or better yet, take the poll and lie - take the opposite viewpoint from your actual one. Encourage your friends and relatives to do the same.

The only way to stop them is to make them wildly inaccurate. Still can't stop checking the damn site, though . . .

Light Speed In A Chevy Impala

Today is the release of the original 3 Star Wars movies on DVD. I just placed my order on Amazon, so I'll probably have to wait till next week. No problem there. I count myself among those that really enjoyed those movies, but didn't go nuts over them.

But there is an entire generation that went nuts over these films. They are most likely too young to have seen the original Star Wars in the theater, most likely first seeing it on their family VCR. Just like my daughter use to watch "The Little Mermaid" every day when we got home, they sucked it up.

I was 17 when the movie came out. That was an age where the hype you got built slowly. I remember hearing about it on the radio and went to see it by myself. It was a hoot, exciting and fun. On the drive back home I was lucky not to get ticketed as I made the jump to light speed in my lime green 4-door Chevy Impala.

But I was already a long time reader of science fiction. I'd seen many of the movie serials, including Flash Gordon, on TV. And I was a Star Trek fan from the first. So Star Wars was a continuation of the type of thing I enjoyed, not the source of it.

The more recent Star Wars movies are a disappointment. Frankly, they're just not any good. Oh, but the first is a joy.

Perchance To Dream

Ah, what wonderful things are dreams. But not magical or supernatural, I'm afraid.

Sweet dreams are made of this ... have we solved the Freudian riddle?: "Alternatively, the answer to the riddle of dreams may all be quite simple, mundane almost.

'I see them as the cinema of the mind,' said Dr Jim Horne of the sleep research centre at Loughborough University. 'They're there to keep the brain entertained during the tedious hours of sleep and have very little significance beyond that.' "

I somewhat agree with Dr. Horne, but I think that dreams help with sorting out our thoughts and experience. I think that they're our brain's way of telling itself stories. Some are "what if", some are historical dramas of our own lives or with us as a central figure.

I think this work also helps to explain why we love movies so much. Movies are literally dreams made real.


And lastly a word of praise for the good folks at boingboing.net - their posts often intrigue and interest me and results in posting here. Thanks to Davit Pescovitz for this one.

Why Blog?

I am often asked, "why should I publish/write my own blog?" The answer is, "If you have to ask, then you shouldn't."

I write and publish because I can. I've kept sporadic journals since college, filled with mostly navel-gazing and self remonstration for not writing more, and better (and more legibly, sorry about that, future reader). They're stacked in the closet of my den. And although I have the skills to publish a site using raw HTML, it's a bother - blogging makes publishing easy.

So, I write - it's what I do, a big part of who I am. Hell, if you ask me "what do you do?", I'll tell you that I'm in software marketing. If you ask me what I am, I'll tell you "a writer." It's what I was trained and educated to do. Writers write. Some of them publish. Very few earn money at it. I don't need the money (yes, I'd love to be paid for writing, but it's not a requirement to keep me writing). And I can publish.

I might even have readers. So I write about what strikes me, when it strikes me, and I put it here. Every once and a while I make a connection with someone and that's interesting, but not necessary. Often I learn something and help clarify my thoughts. And on occasion, I publish a piece of fiction, a little story. Over time it adds up. I don't know what it will become, nor does it matter at this point.

As a reader, I read blogs and web sites that interest me. What interests me the most? Smart, interesting people and the opinions they express.

What's also interesting is what I don't choose to publish. Deleted from this post was a long section speculating about the future, economics, nanotechnology, and human occupations, with the ramifications thereof. But it was also clear that I don't know the hell what I was talking about on that rather broad subject, so that for another day.

Why Blog? It is entertaining and satisfying for me. No other reason would suffice.

On Clowning

Hedwig, the wise old owl, sent me in this direction to see the BBC's photo article about Clowns Without Borders.



It's beautiful and touching photo essay. Smiles are so infectious.

Out of the dark recesses of my past, I too was a clown. In college after I switched from Biology/Chemistry/Premed to Theatre I began to study with a gifted clown, Winston Inslee. The roots of my theatrical training and understanding come as much from the clown as it does from Shakespeare. Or perhaps my understanding of Shakespeare is enhanced by clearly seeing how much buffoonery is central to his work.

My senior project was a performance/play based on the clown character I developed - it helped me get into grad school (accepted into 2 different programs). During my MFA work I also worked on my clowning. I never did birthday parties or entertained at fast food restaurants, thank god, but I did my share of nursing homes and schools. When I shifted my focus from performing to playwrighting, it was the clown who gave me the most inspiration. My full length play, "Grimaldi: King Of The Clowns" got me my degree and after I left, was selected by SIU to perform in their main season. It also went to the American College Theater Festival. That was thrilling and terrifying in itself. (BTW - find Grimaldi's "autobiography" - it's edited by Boz - Charles Dickens - he basically wrote it himself).

After moving to Columbus and entering the business world (starting with nearly 2 years at Bell Labs) I continued clowning, mainly at festivals and some organized busking events (how can you have organized buskers?). I taught a class in clowning for OSU's adult education program for a couple of years - was even featured on the catalog cover. But OSU canceled their adult education and life got more complex with work and kids. I had to decide where to commit my artistic energies - writing won out.

There was also another thing that made me put away the red nose and grease paint - I got to that rare point where I was very good, good enough to see what it would take to be exceptional. I could also see that I didn't have the drive or talent to be what I expected of myself.

I also had/have a very narrow vision of what kind of clowning I like. Cirque Du Sole = wonderful. Bozo=scarry. Crusty the Clown = hilarious. Emmet Kelly=breathtaking (but now overdone, stealing the magic of what he was). I saw Red Skelton perform and when he wasn't being a ham and just plain goofy, he could be a wonderful clown.

You see, the clown is a very specific, very important theatrical form. When I see something like Clowns Without Borders I know it can work because the clown is a key human component - playing off the ridiculous. It is a counter to the Shaman, that claims spiritual authority and great dignity. The clown claims no such thing, and mocks those that do.

And what makes people strong? Laughing together. Theatre is a natural human occupation. Just as Pinker tells us "The mind is something the brain does" the theater is something that humans living together do. We tell stories. We repeat them. We formalize them. And the telling and watching make us feel better.

How brilliant of these people to know and act on this. "People told me that big international organisations give them clothes and food, but that nobody ever makes them smile."

No. There's a difference between changing your mind and lying.

I detest this talk of "flip flopping" on issues. Anyone that insists on never changing your position, never deciding you were wrong, never finding a better way, or since we're talking about politics, never compromises, simply isn't being honest.

For example:

President Bush: Flip-Flopper-In-Chief

Assorted shrubbery on car

I heard the always funny Carl Hiaasen on yesterday's "On The Media" and looked up his column.

On the beach, waiting for Frances

My oldest daughter asks, "why are you watching the Weather Channel? It's just endless weather reports!". And I explained to her that watching storm coverage is like watching NASCAR (which I don't do). You don't watch for the race, you watch because someone might crash. It's both horrifying and cool and you'd hate to miss it.

That's why the desktop picture on my 21" Apple Cinema Display at work is a high resolution picture (updated, manually, daily), of Ivan's approach to the Gulf and eventual landfall (get them fresh at http://www.noaa.gov). I don't wish ill on anyone, but man, it's interesting!

That, and more storm coverage means less election coverage.

That's not a utility belt.

Am I upset that some fruitcake dresses like Batman and hangs a banner at Buckingham Palace? Not one bit.

But please, if you must borrow our cultural icons, please, no belly packs!

Batman at Buckingham Palace

Sex Not Found

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Now, how do we force movie executives to watch it?

I am hopeful about the future. Technology gives us tools and people find a way to do great things.

If you've been to a movie recently, you've probably seen one of those pointless "don't steal movies" ads. Here's the perfect answer to it:

Who Watches Movies?

Blogger Broken

Damn - can't post.

Actually, I can post, but I can't get the site to update. Something is
broken.

However, if you can read this, it is now fixed.

Carry on.

There Is A Balm In Goldberg

I'm feeling particularly "tender" today. No particular reason, just a synchronisity of events. My oldest daughter turned 16 this past weekend and I spent all of yesterday afternoon running her around so she could get her driver's license. This morning she kissed me goodbye and headed off on her own. I watched her drive away with a mixture of pride and sadness. My job as a parent for her is almost done.

Today I also learned of a coworker/friend how just learned her child has cancer. I don't know any details yet, but I instantly felt that mixture of depression and fear.

So here in my office, at work drawing time lines for projects, I turn to the Goldberg Variations. Ah, they do help.

Buy More Music

Yes, we've added iTunes to the side bar so you can buy more music.

Actually, it's a pretty good way to get the music you want. As an example, Kathleen plays in several different bands and orchestras. She comes to me with a list of the music she's playing and we look for the tracks - and don't have to buy the whole album if we don't want it (but with classical I typically do - so much good stuff).

My Favorite Error Message

Many years ago (almost 20 years!) I was documenting software and creating training for a large medical information project at Bell Labs. I came across an error message for a field that I got a big kick out of. It said:

Please Disambiguate This Field.

I could never be certain that the programmer was joking. Knowing that crowd of button-down programmers, they were probably serious.

What made me think of that today?

Wikipedia:Disambiguation

I Don't Buy It. And Neither Should You.

Sigh.

Would this were true.

The Last Days of Telemarketing

As much as I hate spammers, tele-marketers truly depress me. Here's a real person and they're on a mission not just to annoy the hell out of me, the expect me to buy something. I'm rarely outright rude (OK, not so rare anymore), but gosh, what a way to make a living. What has lead you to the point in life where the best job you can get is sitting in a cubical farm and calling strangers, shilling. How sad for you.

Here's my rules for telemarketing, spam, and even door-to-door sales:

1. NEVER BUY FROM THEM. PERIOD.
That's right, and turn them away quickly. Yes, it's a person, but you're not obliged to talk to them. Yes, there is a difference for the neighborhood kid that's selling stuff to support their school - but not a big difference. If one of them approaches you, I suggest giving, but instead of buying junk, offer to make a direct contribution to their cause.

2. If you buy from these jerks, you make trouble for everyone else.
Why do they do it? Because it works. Spam a million people and ten will buy. So I'll spam 100 million. Again and again. Stop buying and stop everyone you know from buying. It's the only way it will stop.

3. If that wasn't clear enough for you, let me make it perfectly clear: Only stupid people buy from tele-marketers and spammers.
You're a mark. You've been conned. So wise up.

Let me tell you something else. Those television "info-mercials" aren't much better. It's a medicine show. It's all staged. The elixir they sell you is bathtub gin and gunpowder (which, unfortunately, I'm acquiring a taste for).

I have to admit, the Ginsu knifes I got at the Illinois State Fair 25 years ago are still razor sharp!

Captain Randy Sells Out

I'm really cluttering up the blog - more experiments, really. I've added an Alibris "Affiliate's Link" to the sidebar and will soon add one for iTunes - more playing around than anything serious.

But hey, I already bought 3 books since adding it, so it seems to be working. Oh, wait . . .

The Shape Of Things To Come

Soon, my friends, I hope to see the day when good news such as this is common place.

Carol Connolly gets another chance to garden

I have great hope for the future. Some day, cancer will be a story from our dark past and we'll shudder at the way people died and what they went through. All of the common diseases will fade away and our children and grandchildren will know them not.

But those of us who did know them, who knew those who suffered and died, will have a special bitterness.

And I have a new fear. When I was young, I knew that I would never live to the age of 16 and get my driver's license. It was clear that the world would vanish in a wave of nuclear heat. I still remember the nightmares where I would look out over the prairie from my home, the home of my great grandfather, and the western horizon would be lined with mushroom clouds.

And now? To get the news, to find cancer growing in my own body, or worse, my loved ones, so sure that in just a few years it would be trivial to reverse and repair.

I'm happy for Carol. Many happy days for you.

How to be creative

gapingvoid: how to be creative (original short version)

Even better when translated into Chinese.

I especially like Rule #7 and it's corollary, The Sex and Cash Theory.