A Grievous Insult

Perhaps I shouldn't let things like this get under my skin. But at the risk of turning this blog into a Miss Manners column I'd like to share a little something with you, gentle reader.

An accepted personal invitation my not be disregarded.

Last night, Diane had invited some of her staff over to the house for dinner and a movie. She asked me to cook and host, which I agreed to gladly. Since it was a weeknight I decided on simple, but quality fare - porterhouse steaks, grilled, a side of roasted spaghetti squash with a simple tomato sauce, among other items. Although she had invited more, three had accepted invitations (a single and a couple). The first guest arrived relatively on time, but Diane received a call, after the invited time, that "Bill" was running very late, occupied with something else, but not an emergency. We took our time, then ate, and finally, after an hour and a half, I asked Diane to call him. He was still "busy". I asked her to tell him and his wife not to come.

These are people that Diane works with, so part of my impotent fury is that I can't directly address them. But here's why I'm angry and insulted:

• An invitation to our home requires us a large amount of effort and expense.
• We have to clean, arrange for the kids to be transported or cared for, and in this case fed.
• We purchased food and drink, at no small expense.
• I left work early to prepare the meal and expend a considerable effort in making the evening enjoyable and entertaining.
• A dinner party planned for 5 is an very different dynamic when only one guest appears.
• Other people were not invited that could have attended.

This person will NOT be invited again. It is my understanding that he runs a side business and became busy at a customer site. I do not accept this as an excuse. Once he accepted the invitation he was obliged to present himself at the appointed time, save for grave personal emergency. If this person was under my influence, this would severely bar his advancement. I would not consider it shabby or petty to shun avoid their company.

Behave with consideration and you're welcome in my home and table. Piss me off and you'll end up in this blog.