Thurber On The Brain

I must admit, I've been reading and thinking about James Thurber a lot lately, but you've got to admit, this has got to be a Thurber dog.

If it's not Photoshop'd, it's an amazing captured moment.

You do see it, don't you?

For your convenience, here's what I'm talking about:

Too Many Notes

One of my favorite movie lines is from "Amadeus". When Emperor Joseph II is asked how he liked a new Mozart piece he responds, "Too many notes." and when asked how to fix it, he says, "take out a few."

It's good to see that royalty stays true to form.

Sony products are too much trouble - The Queen

A Skeptic Is A Man You Can Trust

"In line to get my badge for this year's skeptics conference in Pasadena, Calif., I recognized the little man standing behind me. He was bald, with a full, white beard, and he looked older than I would have imagined. 'Excuse me,' he said, 'is this the line for the skeptics meeting?' When I nodded, he looked me up and down and replied, 'Oh, I doubt that.'"

I love James Randi. And I'm glad for the change in strategy of CSICOP. Geller and his ilk are small fry compared to the really dangerous sort we're faced with today.

Wealth Management Company = Strip Club?

I've got to admit, these headlines catch my eye, but this statement left me saying, "Waaaah?"

Designer dresses vs. retailored breasts "'I like well-fitted clothing with straight lines, a real classic look,' says Pollert, who works for a wealth management company and tends to dress more conservatively than one might expect of a woman who has had breast implants that increased her cup size to 34F. 'I'm bigger around the top, but I'm small everywhere else,' she says. 'So I have to have everything tailored, especially jackets.'"

34F.

F?

Wow.

Ten Years In a Quandary

In my research into James Thurber I was struck that he wrote, “One of the greatest fears of the humorous writer is that he has spent three weeks writing something done faster and better by Benchley in 1919.”

or

”. . . plagued with the suspicion that a piece he has been working on for two days was done much better and probably more quickly by Robert Benchley in 1924.”

So, I thought I should look into Benchley. He falls into that rather large group of writers I’ve always heard about, but read very little of. So, I picked up his book My Ten Years In A Quandary and How They Grew. I can see exactly what Thurber was getting at.

In particular, find a small piece called “Spy Scare.” To me a moment to realize that he was writing about the US just after World War I, not today.

I seem to have known, but forgotten that Peter “Jaws” Benchley is his grandson.

See more progress on: write in my blog everyday

That natural cosmetically enhanced look you've always wanted.

At times like these I'm thankful that I'm a guy and don't have to think about these things.

"Built-in sculpted graduated cups are designed to create a natural cosmetically enhanced look. Provides lift and slight separation to offer a fuller and firmer appearance both in and out of clothing."

OK, how exactly does this bra help you "out of clothing"? And why exactly would a woman want to conspicuously appear as if she'd had bad cosmetic surgery? (By definition, if you can tell, it's bad, right?)

If you're gonna speculate, dream big

It's just crazy enough to be true.

PBS | I, Cringely . June 9, 2005 - Going for Broke

I wish it were true. Quick, buy more Apple stock!

Eh? Never mind. It's more fun to speculate about season 2 of Lost.

Not A General Diagnosis . . . oh look - shiny!

CNN.com - ADHD adults struggle to focus - Jun 9, 2005 "Hallmarks of attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can include a lack of focus and impulsiveness. It's also known as attention deficit disorder (ADD), a term many adults use because they are not hyperactive. Adults with attention disorders describe having great stores of energy and creativity, but trouble focusing it."

ADD, ADHD, Asperger Syndrome are all new excuses and labels, but for very few they're accurate diagnosis. Yes, I know a lot of programmers with poor social skills, but very few I'd suspect of a specific disorder. It is easy to say, "hey, I have trouble concentrating and I never get anything done, I mush have ADD!" If you think that, go get a diagnosis from a professional.

On the other hand, I do know a few that may have bovine spongiform encephalopathy (go ahead, try it, it's fun to say!).

OK, people don't get BSE. They get Creutzfeldt-Jacob Disease - not as fun to say.

Reading: One of the great joys of life

A recent question on ask.metafilter.com asked "how can I learn to read and comprehend faster?".

Lots of people had advice on how to skim and quickly polish off books, but I was dissatisfied with their responses. Here's mine:

First: ignore all the advice on speed reading. If you are reading for enjoyment and retention, it's useless. Go to the Cliff notes for the "gist" of the book.

Here's some tips that I think will help:

1. Remove distractions: don't try to read with the TV on, where there's lots of other people interrupting you, or even listening to vocal music. Do consider reading somewhere private and listen to instrumental music.

2. Let the writer tell you the story. Too many wrestle with trying to figure out what's going on from the very start, then fight with their misconceptions the rest of the way through. Let the story unfold before you.

3. Slow down! You're doing this for pleasure, remember? So, what's the rush? Enjoy what you're reading, savour it. No one has a timer on you. Yes, there are things we need to plow through, but when you read for pleasure, don't feel compelled to gobble it up.

4. Reread a favorite. You'll find that your comprehension a and perhaps your enjoyment will increase with a second or third reading. But don't overdo it. Don't become a freak that reads nothing but "The Lord of the Rings" or "The DaVinci Code" over and over again.

5. Read some plays. Get some scripts of modern plays (not Shakespeare to start with) and read them, but let them be staged in your mind, just as if you were sitting in the audience. This is great practice to transfer to novels.

6. Most important rule: always carry something with you to read. You'll find that if you never leave the house without a book you'll find many times during the day - lunch, long waits, breaks, that you can fill by reading for a bit. You'll be surprised at how quickly you can polish off a novel this way.

7. Become a voracious reader. Don't limit yourself to one type of books. Although you may love mysteries, you might find gold in historical novels, comic books, biographies, popular science, and science fiction. Read widely and deeply. You'll find that more experience with more types of books will increase your vocabulary and your understanding of writing and literature. That will also increase your reading speed.

8. Read aloud for someone. Reading to someone, a child, a significant other, is a surprisingly intimate experience. Yes, it will force you to slow down, but you'll find that it will dramatically and astonishingly increase your comprehension and enjoyment. And yes, it may also help increase your personal reading speed as well.

Reading is one of my great joys and pleasures in life. To read widely is a subversive act. Read everything and you can't help but to grow and change how you look at the world.

And here's another tip: writing is fun, too. Keep a journal, make your own blog. Readers who write have an opportunity to think more about the things they've read, which is also enjoyable.

What am I currently reading? Everything I can get my hands on by or about James Thurber and John McNulty. Do yourself a favor and look up these guys.

And there could be another reason . . .

CNN.com - Toyota boss fears policy backlash if GM, Ford crumble - Jun 8, 2005

I suspect he's right in fearing a backlash, but there is a fundamental reason GM and Ford are having trouble competing with Toyota. Toyota builds significantly better vehicles. Not just a little, A LOT better.

Last year I began shopping for a new vehicle for myself. The last four vehicles had been Fords and had been "good enough". But this time good enough wasn't good enough. I wanted something really comfortable and really reliable. I did my homework, talked to friends, and started test driving. There were no US manufacturers on my test drive list.

When I finally test drove the Lexus RX 330 I was done. It is incredibly well put together and a pleasure to drive. Then I started looking further and discovered how amazingly well they hold their value. Spend a few minutes looking online for one a couple of years old and you'll see what I mean.

GM is just too big. It makes cars we don't really want. It is not innovative. And yes, it has a big problem with it's workforce, which means we the taxpayers will end up taking over it's pension commitments. It's time for GM to get small, get competitive, and start producing vehicles that we the public want.

Downloading Beethoven

If you've not heard about this, take note: The BBC is broadcasting, then providing as downloads, all nine Beethoven symphonies.

BBC - Radio 3 - Beethoven Experience - downloads

I highly recommend them. Even if you're not a fan of classical music, these are excellent recordings and offer a terrific introduction to some incredibly interesting music. And this is your chance to download and keep them for free!

"She wasn’t really a blond."

HIGH FLYER "
On Western Airlines Flight 322, yesterday, a shapely blonde in 2nd class section suddenly stripped nude and paraded down the aisle. When she got to the 1st class section she grabbed several courtesy bottles of Scotch and then sat in row 10, singing and laughing.
She told the crowd of enthusiastically clapping passengers that she had just heard on the radio that she had won a million dollars in the state lottery. A stewardess tried to cover her, but the woman evaded her and raced up and down the aisles for 10 minutes with passengers cheering. Said the stewardess: 'She wasn't really a blond.'"

Of course, if this had happened on a US domestic carrier, the passengers would have quickly subdued and beaten the women to death.

Less Frequent Posting - Still Tastes Great!

Just because I'm not posting here as often doesn't mean I don't still love you. It's me, not you.

I'm using what little mental energy I have to research this play I'm writing. It's coming along very well, thank you.

At least the research is. Today I spent a considerable amount of time trying to find the lyrics to "Bye Bye Blackbird". The full lyrics, not just the chorus that virtually everyone knows. And listening to many different versions.

Why? Layers, man, layers. I'm looking for depth and dimensions to these men I'm writing about and the clues are fascinating. Once again, thank god I'm not writing a scholarly work, but I think I'm getting at something that the biographers and historians, and most especially the literary critics have completely missed. We'll see.

Pack up all my cares and woe . . .

Give in to distraction

My new office is positioned so that all of the voices from the customer service staff out in the cubicle farm is funneled right in. This afternoon the noise started building up, distracting me, so I turned on and turned up my stereo. I keep it turned to 87.9, WOSU, our local classical music station. Some nondescript piano music was playing and that did the trick.

But soon they announced they'd be playing the 'New World' Symphony by Dvorak. It is a piece of such beauty and wonder that I knew it would prove more distracting than the noise from outside my door. As the largo began, I found I could do nothing but close my eyes and feel the deep, heartbreaking music wash over me. Ah! Ah!

From outward appearances I'm a cool and unemotional fellow, but that's only the facade. Oh my, the sweet pain of this new world. What loss, what unimaginable loss?

This music isn't a distraction - it calls me to complete focus, complete attention.

The Hitchhicker's Guide Is Not A PDA

My friend Patrick over at Macinstuff is trying to wean himself from his Palm.

Macinstuff: A Week With My iPod As PDA (Part 1)

I've already done it - it didn't happen on purpose. I just don't use the thing anymore. I was a very early adopter and used my original Palm Pilot for everything. But now, not so much.

I've discovered that I no longer use my trusty (not rusty) old Palm IIIc. It sits on my desk, in its cradle and I sync it But I don't carry it any more.

Of course, I must quote Douglas Adams: "Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small, unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea."

I don't use my iPod as a PDA either. Frankly, I don't use anything to carry around my calendar. But I do have most of my contacts on my phone. I do use a Moleskine notebook, but not for the mundane - that's where all of my research for my current play project is.

You know why I think I don't use my Palm much anymore? I don't want too be that organized. I can see my schedule on my computer screen - that's enough. I don't really get out of the office much, so if you want to meet with me, call me at the office and I'll set up a meeting. Other times, eh.

As to digital watches, another "eh". I'm thinking about getting a pocket watch and start wearing vests.

Evil Idiot of the Month for May: Pat Buchanan

Part of me says, "this goes without comment", but I won't let it go at that.

WorldNetDaily: Was World War II worth it?

Buchanan is a knowing throwback to a part of US history that is largely forgotten. Not many know or recognize how vehemently isolationist this country was. Few want to face exactly how racist and anti-Semitic we were as well. And here we have one of the very few clear cut cases of human evil - Nazism - a victory that should live in pride for all Americans - and Mr. Buchanan claims "it wasn't worth it."

How dare he downplay the evil Germany perpetrated on the world. Does he really think Hitler could have been appeased with just Poland? Does he really think that if Britain had stayed out of the war that Hitler would have contented himself with just invading Russia? [He still wouldn't have beaten Russia. If you think he could have, you haven't read enough history - see what happened to Napoleon.]

We know what would have happened. Given time, all of the Jews and other "undesirables" of Europe would have been quietly eliminated. And you, Mr. Buchanan, would have been OK with that, wouldn't you? Contain Nazi Germany? Are you insane?

It's also too easy to forget just how much the Republicans hate FDR. Bush is now trying to lump him together with Stalin. So you, Mr. Buchanan, think that FDR and Churchill were worse than Hitler? Shame on you.

And for you, dear readers, don't be blinded by this insanity. Read history widely. If you have not read your Barbara Tuchman, do so immediately. The March of Folly* is again upon us.



*Could we please get someone to read this to the current President?

Signs We Wish We'd See

Traveling the roads between here and home I’m bombarded with messages. Why aren’t any of them truly useful, informative, or helpful? Perhaps an occasional apology.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Church Sign Generator

See more progress on: write in my blog everyday

Strange Nostalgia

Yesterday afternoon I had my regular dentist appointment. Kathleen and I have been taking our appointments together for years and I swung by the house around 3:30 P.M. to pick her up and have a quick brush and floss. Dr. Fulton, our family dentist for years, has his office in a very cool 1950's era medical building right beside the Westerville library. It's made of stone and glass with big exposed wood beams - someone was paying attention to Frank Lloyd Wright.

But now the owner of the building has sold it to an engineering firm and the dentist office has to go. By some trick of fate, Kathleen and I were their last patients before they pack up and move. They'll first go to temporary lodgings before moving into a new space, not yet built. Everyone, including the dental hygienist to the receptionist to Dr. Fulton, seemed in no hurry to complete our cleaning and checkup. Each pointed out that I was their last patient. As I shook Dr. Fulton's hand some of their reluctance and sadness rubbed off on me. I've been visiting that interesting and convenient office for 20 years. Not only will it be a new office location, but Kathleen will take separate appointments and before long, be gone herself. Strange how these ordinary events shape and color our lives.

Blogging from the Dashboard

That's right - this blog entry composed using a Dashboard Widget courtesy of Mac OS X 10.4, otherwise know as "Tiger".

Further reports pending.

Taken to Task

The wise, OLDER owl has pointed out, rightfully so, my careless use of the term "elderly".

These ARE the Good Older Days

Quite right. What I should have said was "Many that have lived into their 80s and 90s, when asked, report that their favorite time of life was from 50 to 70."