Proud Papa

One of the great things about being a parent is that I have no qualms in basking in reflected glory. In most other aspects of life I like to give clear credit where it's due, but as a father, the achievements of my children are in a very real sense, mine as well.

I really believe that both of my daughters are growing up to be "better" people than I am. As I see them now, they're comfortable with who they are, socially adept and popular (something I never was), smart and hard working. I'm not saying they are perfect or can do no wrong.

My oldest daughter, Kathleen, just found out she's been selected to play string bass with the Columbus Symphony Youth Orchestra. I couldn't get a clear answer out of her after her audition and thought she probably wouldn't make it on this, her first try. I take great personal pride in her accomplishment. This isn't something we'd pushed her at. She's shown the interest and we've made it possible (where can I get a chauffeur hat?). She'll have an experience that may help her pick her college path and perhaps give her a life-long interest and hobby.

There are many ways I'm different from my kids. I'm lazy to a degree that few comprehend. Both of them have excellent study and work habits - I suspect that they'll both make far better grades than I did. They're both athletes - both are advancing in figure skating - certainly not to the top levels of competition, but pretty damn good. Both make friends easily.

They're defiantly not little copies of me*. My first recognized talent was singing. Unfortunately, both of them take after their mother - no voice at all. By the age of 8 or so I was already performing - at school and at church. I picked up the piano easily, then the saxophone and flute. I believe I am a natural musician, but the lack of good instruction and opportunities (not much in the prairies of Illinois in the early 60s) kept me from developing as far as I could. I don't regret it. I enjoy playing the piano and singing, but it's only for my own enjoyment. Both of the girls are getting excellent instruction on the piano, as well as bass for Kathleen. They're developing well, but they have to work harder than I ever did.

I'm also a voracious reader, and was from a very early age. Both of them will read, but are not compelled as I am. I balanced my limited school study and degree of effort with reading far beyond my level, and for the most part, beyond my instructors up through college. I must read to stay sane. They read when required or have the time.

Jennifer is showing real potential in mathematics. I envy her this and would love to see that grow into something special. I see enough around the edges of numbers to know there's a path at understanding the universe which I have to take second and third hand.

I also have a recognition that I'm in that very narrow time of life when we're all together as a family. Soon Kathleen will want to spend less time with us and more with her friends. In three years she'll be gone. In ten, Jennifer, too. I'm looking forward to the time when Diane and I are on our own, but this is something that can't be duplicated or extended.

This is why the movie, The 25th Hour struck me so strongly. The thought of being separated from one's family, robbed of this time of life, cuts deep. The father's dream, played perfectly by Brian Cox, embodies my feelings precisely.


*Disclaimer - I've tried to be honest and unexaggerated in my listing of my own and my children's habits - no external verification provided in this space.