Get Out While You Have A Chance

If you are currently holding any type of variable rate mortgage or interest payment, get out now. Don't wait or you'll be seriously screwed.

Opinion: "When a country lives on borrowed time, borrowed money and borrowed energy, it is just begging the markets to discipline it in their own way at their own time. As I said, usually the markets do it in an orderly way - except when they don't."

I'm serious about this. No variable rate mortgates or balloon payments. No credit card debt. Do anything you can to take care of this now - don't wait, I mean in the next few weeks and months.

Could you handle it if your mortgage payment shot up three or four hundred dollars a month? What about your credit card payments, your car loan?

Higher interest rates would be good for me, but not for most people. What if your home loan was at 18%? It's not been that many years ago that they were that high.

Listen. The sky is falling. Seriously. I don't know who reads this stuff, but it's important.

Oh, and for your reading pleasure and edification, see The Black Obelisk.

Flush or Pack It Out

There are many reasons I consider myself to luckily to be in a committed, monogamous relationship. Here's one more:

'She asserts that when plaintiff 'delivered' his sperm, it was a gift -- an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee,' the decision said. 'There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request.'

And one more reason that both men and women need to take complete responsibility of their sexuality. This guy thought he was and found out he was wrong.

Here's the rule for all you single guys or those with multiple parthers - and it's got to be absolute: No sex without a condom. That includes oral sex. Unless you are in a committed, long term relationship AND after blood tests.

Oh, and you must either flush the used comdom or take it with you. (what's the emoticon for a shudder?)

It Is Inadvisable To Blog While Sleeping

Last night, at some, semi-lucid point, I spent some time composing today's blog entry. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to have been posted and I can't remember what I was dream-writing about. Seemed brilliant at the time.

Guess the folks at Blogger.com need to work on that interface a bit more.

Tonight's another "kid concert." You know the kind: one of those school concerts where you kid plays and you've got to go. Both of my girls are musically talented, and I enjoy hearing them play, but we seem to get on these runs where they all bunch together. Last week Jennifer had a "Drama Kids" performance on Tuesday night and a middle school concert Thursday. She had a skating competition on Saturday which meant we had to leave the house before 6 AM. Sunday Kathleen had a Columbus Youth Jazz concert, followed by a full concert by the Columbus Jazz Orchestra. It's always enjoyable, but that eats up an entire Sunday afternoon. Tonight Kathleen has a high school orchestra concert in preparation for the state orchestra competition tomorrow night (which I will not be attending). This concert by itself would be enjoyable, but the director decided the concert would be too short, so he changed it at the last minute to combine with another middle school concert. That's right, I get to sit through another middle school concert, one where I don't have any kids in it. Do you think it would be rude to take my iPod?

Oh, and another concert Sunday afternoon - this one for the Columbus Symphony Youth Orchestra.

As You Like It

I hadn’t intended on starting my little Shakespeare chronologically project quite yet, but my daughter asked me to read the play to help her with her homework. It had been years, probably since grad school, so I said sure.

Lovely.

We spent some time talking about the play when she was doing her assignment and one of the questions was about the use of language because, the test writer asserted, that the play was so “talky” and nothing happened.

Excuse me? God save us from English teachers! No wonder why so many kids end up thinking that these plays are boring. If I were the king of the forest, I’d insist that any play, before it is read, must be SEEN. And not read in class with students sitting and reading the parts. Performed. By someone that knows what they are doing.
Why is the character of Jaques humorous? Hard to tell just reading the words. But Jaques is a type. He’s a melancholic. And he’s played to the hilt. Everyone knows the second he walks on stage exactly what he’s like. But Shakespeare takes him up a level or so. He isn’t just this one thing. And he gets a brilliant speech that shows us exactly that. “All the world’s a stage.”

This play, read, without knowing anything about how it is to be performed, is a trifle. But imagine it, fully realized, wonderful costumes, dancing, singing! See the wrestling match as a huge opportunity for physical comedy (unstead of one line They wrestle.) Think of the shepherds and clowns, country bumpkins, general silliness. It is a complete hoot.
And remember, you, standing in the pit, a groundling, are also in on the joke. A boy, playing a girl, pretending to be a boy, asking her lover to pretend she, he thinking her a boy, is actually a girl, having another girl fall in love with her.
How do we know it is funny? Not from reading alone, dear teacher. We know because the actors show us. Taking nothing from Shakespeare – he knew it well – the play’s the thing.

See more progress on: read all of Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets

Battling Evil Elephants

So, what were they up to all those years?

Humans just got 35,000 years older
: "'It pushes back the beginning of anatomically modern humans. It is significant because the cultural aspects of humanity in most cases appear much later in the record - only 50,000 years ago - which would mean 150,000 years of Homo sapiens without cultural stuff, such as evidence of eating fish, of harpoons, anything to do with music, needles, even tools. This stuff all comes in very late, except for stone knife blades, which appeared between 50,000 and 200,000 years ago,' says geologist Frank Brown, a co- author of the study and dean of the University of Utah's College of Mines and Earth Sciences.
"

Let's imagine for a moment, shall we? If anatomically identical humans existed 200,000 years ago, did it really take them 150,000 years to take that first step towards civilization and away from pure animal existence? I find that hard (but not impossible) to believe. What were they up to?

I've always wondered why they killed off all the mastodons (took them till about 10,000 years ago). Maybe humanity spent 190,000 years battling a race of evil, furry elephants. Maybe they weren't the lumbering, gentle giants that could just be herded off a nearby cliff (bad news if you're in Ohio - not many cliffs nearby). Maybe they were vicious, intelligent, and hated these new ape creatures. Maybe humanity's greatest triumph is something we've never heard about.

Perhaps we should think about that before cloning any of them back.

Or maybe I should have another cup of coffee.

All In

OK, I admit it. I've caught the poker bug, too.

But I haven't completely gone around the bend like some of my friends and acquaintances. In fact, for me it might be a healthy hobby.

Self justification, you say? On the contrary. I find the game fun, easy to learn, difficult to master. It is a social activity. I've gone to great extremes to build a movie theater in my home, but even when I entertain there, it's sitting quietly in the same room - hardly social. Playing poker is by its very nature an activity where you must pay close attention to everyone at the table, even learn something about the people there. Or lose.

An evening's play may cost me $20 or so, or put money in my pocket. I'm not interested in big tournament play, although I did enjoy playing in Vegas recently (where I played Texas Hold'em for over 2 hours and walked away even money). And since I've started playing - just this year, I'm already meeting new people and getting invited out.

This may seem strange and ordinary to you, but for me, it's a big deal. I'm reaching the stage as a parent where the kids are interested in being on their own. For the last 16 years Diane and I have had little time for anything other than work and family and that means very few friends and next to no social life outside of the rare opportunity to get out on our own. So having fun with friends, getting invited out, having people over to the house is not only fun, but rewarding.

Mesmerizing Coolness

Just plain cool. The Baby Name Wizard's NameVoyager

But it raises more questions than it answers. The main question that cannot be answered with the marvelous display of data is "why?". Why does a particular name grow or decline in popularity. What causes these peaks and falloffs?

Teach Evolution: Leave No Child Behind

Teach Evolution: Leave No Child Behind: "Teaching the age and history of our planet takes us back about 4.6 billion years; it is included in only 55% of our 50 State’s science education standards."

It's sad, but not surprising.

Strong science education with real standards is critical to growing an educated population capable of thinking and understanding complex ideas.

Oh, wait. You didn't want that? Bread and circuses, baby!

OK, taking a deep breath.

Here are the fundamentals that EVERY person should know:

1. The universe is roughly 13 billion years old.
   
2. The Earth is about 4.6 billion years old.
   
3. The process in which life was created and arrived at the state it is in today is know as evolution.
   
4. There's lots of stuff we don't know or understand. The scientific method is how we find out.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Not So Smart Water

Schneier on Security: Smart Water: "The idea is for me to paint this stuff on my valuables as proof of ownership. I think a better idea would be for me to paint it on your valuables, and then call the police."

Everyday, in every way, I'm getting better and better

Hmm, just keep repeating that.

Now, where's that damn Clouseau gotten off to?

See more progress on: write in my blog everyday

Books You Should Read

If you haven't yet discovered Neal Stephenson, then it's time you considered adding his work to your reading list. I was gobsmacked by his Baroque Cycle.

And from this interview, you can tell this man has a keen, honest intelligence.

Reason: Neal Stephenson’s Past,
Present, and Future: The author of the widely praised Baroque Cycle on science, markets, and post-9/11 America : "Reason: In The Baroque Cycle we see two different kinds of nation-states at war with each other: traditional monarchies vs. the modern mercantile state. Some readers see political themes in Snow Crash, The Diamond Age, and Cryptonomicon—e.g., that traditional governmental institutions have collapsed or mutated into some less central form. Is this something you see as inevitable?

Neal Stephenson: I can understand that if you are the sort of person who spends a lot of time thinking about government and commerce, then by reading Snow Crash, The Diamond Age, Cryptonomicon, and The Baroque Cycle through that lens, and by squinting, holding the books at funny angles, and jiggling them around, you might be able to perceive some sort of common theme. But it is a stretch. The themes you mention are so vast and so common to all societies and periods of history that I would find it difficult to write a novel that did not touch on them in some way."

Good Idea, Flawed Approach

There's a move in the online music sales arena to try to convince people that subscriptions sales of music is the way to go.

It's not a bad idea, but the time for this market may be too early. Why? Because people love the iPod, want the iPod, already OWN an iPod. And if you have an iPod, you use the iTunes music store.

USATODAY.com - Napster aims to sack Apple iTunes

So for Napster and others to succeed, they have to both convince you that you should rent your music AND that you should throw away your beloved iPod AND buy another, clunky, ugly music player.

I don't think it will work. Before the iPod, before iTunes music store, I used to pay $9.95 per month to emusic.com. At that time they let me download and keep all of the music I wanted. They had pretty good libraries of jazz and classical, which I loved, and next to no pop, which was fine with me. I really built up my library during that year or so I subscribed. Then they changed their mind, limited the number of songs I could download, and I dropped them.

I don't buy a lot of music, but over the years I've acquired plenty. Legally, mind you. Bought it. My iTunes library is nearly 30 gigabytes and I haven't ripped all of my CDs into it, let alone converted some holdover vinyl records. My aging, 5 gig original iPod is still chugging along - I'd love to have a new 60 gig Photo iPod, but can't justify it just now. So I have plenty of music. Most people do. I'd consider a subscription service, but what I really want is an easy way to buy music, inexpensively, one song or album at a time.

Oh, I can already do that? Right, iTunes has that covered. And there's no fucking way I'm giving up my iPod. So where does that leave Napster? Right where most internet companies that buy Superbowl ads. In next year's "What every happened to?" news paper columns.

Let's Go Out To The Lobby

Hedwig, the wise old owl, sends this New Yorker Article to my attention:

The New Yorker: The Critics: A Critic At Large: "And what is the main cinematic experience? The tickets, including the surcharge for ordering online, cost about the same as the monthly cable bill. A medium popcorn is five dollars; the smallest bottled water is three. The show begins with twenty minutes of commercials, spots promoting the theatre chain, and previews for movies coming out next Memorial Day, sometimes a year from next Memorial Day. The feature includes any combination of the following: wizards; slinky women of few words; men of few words who can expertly drive anything, spectacularly wreck anything, and leap safely from the top of anything; characters from comic books, sixth-grade world-history textbooks, or “Bulfinch’s Mythology”; explosions; phenomena unknown to science; a computer whiz with attitude; a brand-name soft drink, running shoe, or candy bar; an incarnation of pure evil; more explosions; and the voice of Robin Williams. The movie feels about twenty minutes too long; the reviews are mixed; nobody really loves it; and it grosses several hundred million dollars.
"

Ah, the movies!

One fun fact this article points out is the drop in movie attendance. In 1946 one hundred million people attended the movies EVERY WEEK. Out of a total population of on hundred forty-one million. Today that's down to twenty-five million weekly attendance out of a population of nearly three hundred million. Interesting, but not the whole story. In 1946 the movies were the only forum of mass entertainment. TV wasn't available. An inexpensive afternoon or evening at the movies provided a whole range of news and entertainment. And least we forget, these were massive, single screen theaters, not the pocket theaters we're packed into today. Newsreels, cartoons, short subjects, and double features. Now that sounds like fun.

But today we have TV, we have cable with movies on demand. We have DVDs. The movie industry isn't in any danger of perishing. It's simply changing.

And the big secret that the Hollywood big wigs don't know and can't understand: there are untold billions of dollars available to them if they'd only put their entire movie libraries online.

Imagine this: for a small, reasonable monthly fee, let's say $19.95, you could watch any movie ever made.

I have to stop there - the idea is staggering to me. Of course you'd pay that. Everyone would pay that. Christ.

Or let's make it more interesting - no monthly fee, but a charge of ninety-nine cents per movie. They'd be making money on movies that haven't made money in a hundred years. And if the price is low enough, who would bother to pirate? The quality would be guaranteed. You want to talk about a golden age of Hollywood, open the floodgates.

Evil Idiots of the Month for February: Sinclair Broadcasting

This month's award for the Evil Idiots of the Month goes to the clever folks at Sinclair Broadcasting.

At first, this might seem like completely political post, but their actions in last year's presidential election only got them as far as the nomination for this illustrious award. What really stuck in my craw was their greedy and stupid behavior that results in me not being able to watch Lost in high definition. Or the Super Bowl.

In the Columbus market, Sinclair owns both the ABC and Fox affiliates. I'm strongly opposed to companies owning multiple stations in a market this size (and the includes the evil, but not so idiotic Clear Channel). They've exercised their ownership to really gut these stations and take a race to the bottom. In fact, they've recently announced that they're eliminating sports reporting from their news operations. I'm not a sports fan, but reporting on local sports is part of the responsibility of local broadcasters. And they're holding TV watchers hostage over high definition - HDTV.

I subscribe to cable - it's the best way for me to get the programs I want. Satellite would require me to put a box on each of my TVs. With cable, all but one gets cable right to the set and works fine. The theater gets the full digital box, which now includes high definition capabilities, dual tuners, and a DVR (Digital Video Recorder). It's a crude, very difficult to use box and the worst interface possible, but it's HD and dual tuner, so the TiVO gets demoted.

And with this setup I get all of the local channels plus several others in HD - DiscoveryHD and PBS HD has some amazing and beautiful programming. The programs we like to watch, including Law and Order are gorgeous in HD. CBS, NBC, PBS, TNT, UPN - all in HD.

But not ABC and not FOX. Frankly, there's only one program on either that we watch that's in HD and that's Lost. I would really enjoy watching this show, shot in Hawaii of all places, in high definition. But Sinclair says no. Why? Because they, unlike all of the other broadcasters in this market and all of the other US markets insists that cable operators pay them for FREE OVER THE AIR PROGRAMMING.

I do have an alternative. I could go out an buy an HD receiver. I could then buy an antenna. That's right, a freak'n antenna. And after all that, if I'm lucky, I might be able to pick up the HD broadcast signal.

No way.

My perspective is this: Sinclair has been granted TWO broadcast licenses in this market by the federal government. They make money by charging advertisers and provide their content free of charge to viewers. Cable operators earn money by providing clean signal to my house and value added content - things not available to me over the air in my market. As a convenience to me, they also deliver the local stations, which are, as I've stated, freely available. But Sinclair wants to be paid. Now one else is paid. They're happy to have their programs available to customers and their advertisers are happy to have their advertisements displayed.

What's a guy to do? Well I for one will avoid Sinclair's programming for the most part. I'll watch Lost, and when it comes out on DVD I'll buy that - from ABC. And I'll make a point of letting people that advertise on Sinclair's local stations know that others like me are not watching.

So, you've spent millions creating that ad and more to buy the time to air it at the Superbowl. How's it feel to find out that the top purchasing market - all the guys the bought high definition TVs, aren't able to see your ads? And after the football game, they're switching to something that they can watch?

This rant is definitely NOT over.

In a round about way

This article in Today's Salon, purportedly about the resurgence of the Macintosh computer, almost, but not quite gets to some of the market issues that keep the computer industry from stepping to the next level.

"There's a poison in the computer industry,' Hertzfeld says, 'and that is the fact that the common software base is controlled by a predatory software company with a lack of ethics."

This quote, from Andy Hertzfeld gets right down to it. It's simple, really. Bill Gates is today's robber baron. He has used is business acumen, not technological prowess, to beat the market into profits for Microsoft and limited opportunity for everything else. Microsoft is a bad company and the market simply can't move forward until it's broken up by regulation or overcome by market forces.

And Microsoft has helped perpetuate the mindset that computers are technical instruments that require a high degree of specialized knowledge. Recently I was in an airport when I struck up a conversation with a fellow traveler when it was clear that we were heading to the same conference. His companion was crowing that he had hacked through the airport's feeble security to use their for-fee wireless network. When I pointed out that it wasn't that big of a deal - there were few people that could do it and the effort to lock it down probably wasn't worth the expense he scoffed, then claimed, "Most people shouldn't be allowed to even own computers. If I had my way, they'd have to pass a rigorous test before they could even touch one!"

At which point, I went back to ignoring him.

I hold the exact opposite view. If you have to possess virtually ANY specialized knowledge, then something is wrong with the device.

What most computer users forget is that the vast majority of the population do not own and have never touched a computer. They're expensive and don't have clear benefits. And they're confusing, frightening, and probably dangerous. And they'll break down or become unusable.

Apple is on the right path, even if the Mac isn't perfect. But I challenge you this: Pick out a relative over the age of 60 who has never used a computer. Find one that is active and might like to communicate with you and others more easily. One with active hobbies and an interest in learning. Maybe one with an interest in music or movies. Someone that's been talking about getting a digital camera. Now you're this person's contact - if something goes wrong, they'll be calling you. How much time and expense is it going to cost to set them up with a conventional PC and make it work with their new camera, printer, and the web? And how long before it becomes completely unusable from spyware and virus?

Or you have them buy a new, Mac mini for less than $500. They plug it in and are doing all of these things all on their own. It just works.

Of course you're elderly friend won't become a computer expert, but then again, why would they want to be?

If you don't know me by now

Doc Serls has some excellent perspective on age, accomplishment, and reflection, all in this one little sentence.

The Doc Searls Weblog : Thursday, January 27, 2005: "Kinda reminds me of a conversation I had several years ago with Cam, when he was 30. I'll tell Sean now what I told Cam back then: Everything you know me for I've done since I was 50."

And before my commentary, I'll add that I was pleased to finally meet Doc when he stopped by my company's booth at Macworld (hope he's got his palm syncing problem solved!).

In his comment to a person named Cam, he says "everything you know me for". I believe it takes a lot of mental processing to realize that though there are many people that "know" us, but each knows a different person. I'm particularly cognizant of this. My like has been one of continually moving forward and there are few people, friends, that have followed the path with me.

A close friend in high school, Bruce (seen the movie "Napoleon Dynamite"? I was Pedro to his Napoleon) parted ways after graduation. I chat occasionally with him over the net and he chastised me for not attending our 25th High School reunion. I didn't have any real desire to make the trip, other to see Bruce and a few others. The Randy that they all knew is long gone. He was best known for singing and a leader in the marching band. He didn't date and was very shy around girls.

I've all but lost touch with Bill, perhaps my closest childhood friend and college roommate. We also went to the same grad school, but me for theater and him for law school. Together we were promising youth leaders in the church. He still is, but I'm no longer a believer. And I also took all my theatrical training and went straight into business - specifically the software market.

Some people know me from when I was at Bell Labs and fresh out of school. Others know me from eight years at one job, now ten years past. Some know me from my five years as an internet entrepenuer. Some know me from the current job, now five years and running. You may know me from this online journal and others from my home theater hobby.

So yes, for all the Cam's out there - what you know me for is dependent on WHEN you knew me. And at 30, you didn't know me and you sure has hell didn't know yourself. Reflection is good, but don't spend to much time on it while you're so young.

Free Porn Magic for You!

For the most part, I find John Dvorak a blowhard - a columnist that thinks that poking a chained dog with a stick is fun.

But he may be onto something here.

Opinion Column from PC Magazine: Free Porn Magic for You!

I suspect he's right on all counts, and I'll be watching the logs on this web site for evidence.

But I'll do you one better. His article has no sex in it at all. I'll give you the secrets of sex and happiness, all for the low price of only $19.95!

That's right, send Captain Randy your personal check (sorry, PayPal not accepted) for $19.95 and I will revel to you the secrets of:

Finding the perfect mate.
Getting all the sex you want.
What women really want and how to give it to them or what men want and how to make them your slave for life
Your purpose in life and amazing the truth about the universe.

And as an added bonus, how to get real Rolex watches for a fraction of the cost!

For an additional $4.95 I'll also tell you how to be the Apple iPod for free!

But it's a limited time offer - act now!



* Secrets of the universe, although startling, are also available through a lifetime of study and meditation. Or for only $19.95 they can be yours! Sorry, no refunds or exchanges. Karma can neither be bought or sold, only apportioned by the universe.

I Don't Know What This Is

But it's just too cool to pass up.

muppetsovertime05

Did I ever mention how upset I am, STILL, at Jim Henson? He had no right to die when he did. I feel robbed of all the wonderful stories he could have told.

This is why Portland is an interesting place to live

Columbus, Ohio is the type of place one lives, but never vacations. It's an economic haven, a good place to live and raise a family, but scant little else to recommend it.

Now Portland. They have Voodooo Doughnut.

Thief learns lesson in do's and doughnuts

Things Worth Believing In

Now here's a list of things that have merit believing in.

THE WORLD QUESTION CENTER 2005

But then again, these are scientists (for the most part). So if you prove their beliefs incorrect, they'll thank you for it.