Personal Assistant Wanted

Today, Neil Gaiman wrote this in his blog:

"Woken up this morning rather earlier than usual, by my assistant Lorraine. 'I made you a cup of tea,' she said. 'Can you drive me to the Hospital? I think I broke my arm in the night.' "

Where exactly does one find such a creature? A live-in, selfless assistant - something from another era, I thought. I think I'd be much more productive if I had someone like this to follow me around, keeping me on task, reminding me to write and post to this blog. Edit my spelling and grammar. Press and layout my clothes. Insist it was time to exercise. Suggest that the salad might be better than the bacon cheese burger. Answer the phone and say, "he's not to be disturbed at the moment. Perhaps I can help you."

But coffee, please, not tea.