As You Like It

I hadn’t intended on starting my little Shakespeare chronologically project quite yet, but my daughter asked me to read the play to help her with her homework. It had been years, probably since grad school, so I said sure.

Lovely.

We spent some time talking about the play when she was doing her assignment and one of the questions was about the use of language because, the test writer asserted, that the play was so “talky” and nothing happened.

Excuse me? God save us from English teachers! No wonder why so many kids end up thinking that these plays are boring. If I were the king of the forest, I’d insist that any play, before it is read, must be SEEN. And not read in class with students sitting and reading the parts. Performed. By someone that knows what they are doing.
Why is the character of Jaques humorous? Hard to tell just reading the words. But Jaques is a type. He’s a melancholic. And he’s played to the hilt. Everyone knows the second he walks on stage exactly what he’s like. But Shakespeare takes him up a level or so. He isn’t just this one thing. And he gets a brilliant speech that shows us exactly that. “All the world’s a stage.”

This play, read, without knowing anything about how it is to be performed, is a trifle. But imagine it, fully realized, wonderful costumes, dancing, singing! See the wrestling match as a huge opportunity for physical comedy (unstead of one line They wrestle.) Think of the shepherds and clowns, country bumpkins, general silliness. It is a complete hoot.
And remember, you, standing in the pit, a groundling, are also in on the joke. A boy, playing a girl, pretending to be a boy, asking her lover to pretend she, he thinking her a boy, is actually a girl, having another girl fall in love with her.
How do we know it is funny? Not from reading alone, dear teacher. We know because the actors show us. Taking nothing from Shakespeare – he knew it well – the play’s the thing.

See more progress on: read all of Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets

Battling Evil Elephants

So, what were they up to all those years?

Humans just got 35,000 years older
: "'It pushes back the beginning of anatomically modern humans. It is significant because the cultural aspects of humanity in most cases appear much later in the record - only 50,000 years ago - which would mean 150,000 years of Homo sapiens without cultural stuff, such as evidence of eating fish, of harpoons, anything to do with music, needles, even tools. This stuff all comes in very late, except for stone knife blades, which appeared between 50,000 and 200,000 years ago,' says geologist Frank Brown, a co- author of the study and dean of the University of Utah's College of Mines and Earth Sciences.
"

Let's imagine for a moment, shall we? If anatomically identical humans existed 200,000 years ago, did it really take them 150,000 years to take that first step towards civilization and away from pure animal existence? I find that hard (but not impossible) to believe. What were they up to?

I've always wondered why they killed off all the mastodons (took them till about 10,000 years ago). Maybe humanity spent 190,000 years battling a race of evil, furry elephants. Maybe they weren't the lumbering, gentle giants that could just be herded off a nearby cliff (bad news if you're in Ohio - not many cliffs nearby). Maybe they were vicious, intelligent, and hated these new ape creatures. Maybe humanity's greatest triumph is something we've never heard about.

Perhaps we should think about that before cloning any of them back.

Or maybe I should have another cup of coffee.

All In

OK, I admit it. I've caught the poker bug, too.

But I haven't completely gone around the bend like some of my friends and acquaintances. In fact, for me it might be a healthy hobby.

Self justification, you say? On the contrary. I find the game fun, easy to learn, difficult to master. It is a social activity. I've gone to great extremes to build a movie theater in my home, but even when I entertain there, it's sitting quietly in the same room - hardly social. Playing poker is by its very nature an activity where you must pay close attention to everyone at the table, even learn something about the people there. Or lose.

An evening's play may cost me $20 or so, or put money in my pocket. I'm not interested in big tournament play, although I did enjoy playing in Vegas recently (where I played Texas Hold'em for over 2 hours and walked away even money). And since I've started playing - just this year, I'm already meeting new people and getting invited out.

This may seem strange and ordinary to you, but for me, it's a big deal. I'm reaching the stage as a parent where the kids are interested in being on their own. For the last 16 years Diane and I have had little time for anything other than work and family and that means very few friends and next to no social life outside of the rare opportunity to get out on our own. So having fun with friends, getting invited out, having people over to the house is not only fun, but rewarding.

Mesmerizing Coolness

Just plain cool. The Baby Name Wizard's NameVoyager

But it raises more questions than it answers. The main question that cannot be answered with the marvelous display of data is "why?". Why does a particular name grow or decline in popularity. What causes these peaks and falloffs?

Teach Evolution: Leave No Child Behind

Teach Evolution: Leave No Child Behind: "Teaching the age and history of our planet takes us back about 4.6 billion years; it is included in only 55% of our 50 State’s science education standards."

It's sad, but not surprising.

Strong science education with real standards is critical to growing an educated population capable of thinking and understanding complex ideas.

Oh, wait. You didn't want that? Bread and circuses, baby!

OK, taking a deep breath.

Here are the fundamentals that EVERY person should know:

1. The universe is roughly 13 billion years old.
   
2. The Earth is about 4.6 billion years old.
   
3. The process in which life was created and arrived at the state it is in today is know as evolution.
   
4. There's lots of stuff we don't know or understand. The scientific method is how we find out.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Not So Smart Water

Schneier on Security: Smart Water: "The idea is for me to paint this stuff on my valuables as proof of ownership. I think a better idea would be for me to paint it on your valuables, and then call the police."

Everyday, in every way, I'm getting better and better

Hmm, just keep repeating that.

Now, where's that damn Clouseau gotten off to?

See more progress on: write in my blog everyday

Books You Should Read

If you haven't yet discovered Neal Stephenson, then it's time you considered adding his work to your reading list. I was gobsmacked by his Baroque Cycle.

And from this interview, you can tell this man has a keen, honest intelligence.

Reason: Neal Stephenson’s Past,
Present, and Future: The author of the widely praised Baroque Cycle on science, markets, and post-9/11 America : "Reason: In The Baroque Cycle we see two different kinds of nation-states at war with each other: traditional monarchies vs. the modern mercantile state. Some readers see political themes in Snow Crash, The Diamond Age, and Cryptonomicon—e.g., that traditional governmental institutions have collapsed or mutated into some less central form. Is this something you see as inevitable?

Neal Stephenson: I can understand that if you are the sort of person who spends a lot of time thinking about government and commerce, then by reading Snow Crash, The Diamond Age, Cryptonomicon, and The Baroque Cycle through that lens, and by squinting, holding the books at funny angles, and jiggling them around, you might be able to perceive some sort of common theme. But it is a stretch. The themes you mention are so vast and so common to all societies and periods of history that I would find it difficult to write a novel that did not touch on them in some way."

Good Idea, Flawed Approach

There's a move in the online music sales arena to try to convince people that subscriptions sales of music is the way to go.

It's not a bad idea, but the time for this market may be too early. Why? Because people love the iPod, want the iPod, already OWN an iPod. And if you have an iPod, you use the iTunes music store.

USATODAY.com - Napster aims to sack Apple iTunes

So for Napster and others to succeed, they have to both convince you that you should rent your music AND that you should throw away your beloved iPod AND buy another, clunky, ugly music player.

I don't think it will work. Before the iPod, before iTunes music store, I used to pay $9.95 per month to emusic.com. At that time they let me download and keep all of the music I wanted. They had pretty good libraries of jazz and classical, which I loved, and next to no pop, which was fine with me. I really built up my library during that year or so I subscribed. Then they changed their mind, limited the number of songs I could download, and I dropped them.

I don't buy a lot of music, but over the years I've acquired plenty. Legally, mind you. Bought it. My iTunes library is nearly 30 gigabytes and I haven't ripped all of my CDs into it, let alone converted some holdover vinyl records. My aging, 5 gig original iPod is still chugging along - I'd love to have a new 60 gig Photo iPod, but can't justify it just now. So I have plenty of music. Most people do. I'd consider a subscription service, but what I really want is an easy way to buy music, inexpensively, one song or album at a time.

Oh, I can already do that? Right, iTunes has that covered. And there's no fucking way I'm giving up my iPod. So where does that leave Napster? Right where most internet companies that buy Superbowl ads. In next year's "What every happened to?" news paper columns.

Let's Go Out To The Lobby

Hedwig, the wise old owl, sends this New Yorker Article to my attention:

The New Yorker: The Critics: A Critic At Large: "And what is the main cinematic experience? The tickets, including the surcharge for ordering online, cost about the same as the monthly cable bill. A medium popcorn is five dollars; the smallest bottled water is three. The show begins with twenty minutes of commercials, spots promoting the theatre chain, and previews for movies coming out next Memorial Day, sometimes a year from next Memorial Day. The feature includes any combination of the following: wizards; slinky women of few words; men of few words who can expertly drive anything, spectacularly wreck anything, and leap safely from the top of anything; characters from comic books, sixth-grade world-history textbooks, or “Bulfinch’s Mythology”; explosions; phenomena unknown to science; a computer whiz with attitude; a brand-name soft drink, running shoe, or candy bar; an incarnation of pure evil; more explosions; and the voice of Robin Williams. The movie feels about twenty minutes too long; the reviews are mixed; nobody really loves it; and it grosses several hundred million dollars.
"

Ah, the movies!

One fun fact this article points out is the drop in movie attendance. In 1946 one hundred million people attended the movies EVERY WEEK. Out of a total population of on hundred forty-one million. Today that's down to twenty-five million weekly attendance out of a population of nearly three hundred million. Interesting, but not the whole story. In 1946 the movies were the only forum of mass entertainment. TV wasn't available. An inexpensive afternoon or evening at the movies provided a whole range of news and entertainment. And least we forget, these were massive, single screen theaters, not the pocket theaters we're packed into today. Newsreels, cartoons, short subjects, and double features. Now that sounds like fun.

But today we have TV, we have cable with movies on demand. We have DVDs. The movie industry isn't in any danger of perishing. It's simply changing.

And the big secret that the Hollywood big wigs don't know and can't understand: there are untold billions of dollars available to them if they'd only put their entire movie libraries online.

Imagine this: for a small, reasonable monthly fee, let's say $19.95, you could watch any movie ever made.

I have to stop there - the idea is staggering to me. Of course you'd pay that. Everyone would pay that. Christ.

Or let's make it more interesting - no monthly fee, but a charge of ninety-nine cents per movie. They'd be making money on movies that haven't made money in a hundred years. And if the price is low enough, who would bother to pirate? The quality would be guaranteed. You want to talk about a golden age of Hollywood, open the floodgates.

Evil Idiots of the Month for February: Sinclair Broadcasting

This month's award for the Evil Idiots of the Month goes to the clever folks at Sinclair Broadcasting.

At first, this might seem like completely political post, but their actions in last year's presidential election only got them as far as the nomination for this illustrious award. What really stuck in my craw was their greedy and stupid behavior that results in me not being able to watch Lost in high definition. Or the Super Bowl.

In the Columbus market, Sinclair owns both the ABC and Fox affiliates. I'm strongly opposed to companies owning multiple stations in a market this size (and the includes the evil, but not so idiotic Clear Channel). They've exercised their ownership to really gut these stations and take a race to the bottom. In fact, they've recently announced that they're eliminating sports reporting from their news operations. I'm not a sports fan, but reporting on local sports is part of the responsibility of local broadcasters. And they're holding TV watchers hostage over high definition - HDTV.

I subscribe to cable - it's the best way for me to get the programs I want. Satellite would require me to put a box on each of my TVs. With cable, all but one gets cable right to the set and works fine. The theater gets the full digital box, which now includes high definition capabilities, dual tuners, and a DVR (Digital Video Recorder). It's a crude, very difficult to use box and the worst interface possible, but it's HD and dual tuner, so the TiVO gets demoted.

And with this setup I get all of the local channels plus several others in HD - DiscoveryHD and PBS HD has some amazing and beautiful programming. The programs we like to watch, including Law and Order are gorgeous in HD. CBS, NBC, PBS, TNT, UPN - all in HD.

But not ABC and not FOX. Frankly, there's only one program on either that we watch that's in HD and that's Lost. I would really enjoy watching this show, shot in Hawaii of all places, in high definition. But Sinclair says no. Why? Because they, unlike all of the other broadcasters in this market and all of the other US markets insists that cable operators pay them for FREE OVER THE AIR PROGRAMMING.

I do have an alternative. I could go out an buy an HD receiver. I could then buy an antenna. That's right, a freak'n antenna. And after all that, if I'm lucky, I might be able to pick up the HD broadcast signal.

No way.

My perspective is this: Sinclair has been granted TWO broadcast licenses in this market by the federal government. They make money by charging advertisers and provide their content free of charge to viewers. Cable operators earn money by providing clean signal to my house and value added content - things not available to me over the air in my market. As a convenience to me, they also deliver the local stations, which are, as I've stated, freely available. But Sinclair wants to be paid. Now one else is paid. They're happy to have their programs available to customers and their advertisers are happy to have their advertisements displayed.

What's a guy to do? Well I for one will avoid Sinclair's programming for the most part. I'll watch Lost, and when it comes out on DVD I'll buy that - from ABC. And I'll make a point of letting people that advertise on Sinclair's local stations know that others like me are not watching.

So, you've spent millions creating that ad and more to buy the time to air it at the Superbowl. How's it feel to find out that the top purchasing market - all the guys the bought high definition TVs, aren't able to see your ads? And after the football game, they're switching to something that they can watch?

This rant is definitely NOT over.

In a round about way

This article in Today's Salon, purportedly about the resurgence of the Macintosh computer, almost, but not quite gets to some of the market issues that keep the computer industry from stepping to the next level.

"There's a poison in the computer industry,' Hertzfeld says, 'and that is the fact that the common software base is controlled by a predatory software company with a lack of ethics."

This quote, from Andy Hertzfeld gets right down to it. It's simple, really. Bill Gates is today's robber baron. He has used is business acumen, not technological prowess, to beat the market into profits for Microsoft and limited opportunity for everything else. Microsoft is a bad company and the market simply can't move forward until it's broken up by regulation or overcome by market forces.

And Microsoft has helped perpetuate the mindset that computers are technical instruments that require a high degree of specialized knowledge. Recently I was in an airport when I struck up a conversation with a fellow traveler when it was clear that we were heading to the same conference. His companion was crowing that he had hacked through the airport's feeble security to use their for-fee wireless network. When I pointed out that it wasn't that big of a deal - there were few people that could do it and the effort to lock it down probably wasn't worth the expense he scoffed, then claimed, "Most people shouldn't be allowed to even own computers. If I had my way, they'd have to pass a rigorous test before they could even touch one!"

At which point, I went back to ignoring him.

I hold the exact opposite view. If you have to possess virtually ANY specialized knowledge, then something is wrong with the device.

What most computer users forget is that the vast majority of the population do not own and have never touched a computer. They're expensive and don't have clear benefits. And they're confusing, frightening, and probably dangerous. And they'll break down or become unusable.

Apple is on the right path, even if the Mac isn't perfect. But I challenge you this: Pick out a relative over the age of 60 who has never used a computer. Find one that is active and might like to communicate with you and others more easily. One with active hobbies and an interest in learning. Maybe one with an interest in music or movies. Someone that's been talking about getting a digital camera. Now you're this person's contact - if something goes wrong, they'll be calling you. How much time and expense is it going to cost to set them up with a conventional PC and make it work with their new camera, printer, and the web? And how long before it becomes completely unusable from spyware and virus?

Or you have them buy a new, Mac mini for less than $500. They plug it in and are doing all of these things all on their own. It just works.

Of course you're elderly friend won't become a computer expert, but then again, why would they want to be?

If you don't know me by now

Doc Serls has some excellent perspective on age, accomplishment, and reflection, all in this one little sentence.

The Doc Searls Weblog : Thursday, January 27, 2005: "Kinda reminds me of a conversation I had several years ago with Cam, when he was 30. I'll tell Sean now what I told Cam back then: Everything you know me for I've done since I was 50."

And before my commentary, I'll add that I was pleased to finally meet Doc when he stopped by my company's booth at Macworld (hope he's got his palm syncing problem solved!).

In his comment to a person named Cam, he says "everything you know me for". I believe it takes a lot of mental processing to realize that though there are many people that "know" us, but each knows a different person. I'm particularly cognizant of this. My like has been one of continually moving forward and there are few people, friends, that have followed the path with me.

A close friend in high school, Bruce (seen the movie "Napoleon Dynamite"? I was Pedro to his Napoleon) parted ways after graduation. I chat occasionally with him over the net and he chastised me for not attending our 25th High School reunion. I didn't have any real desire to make the trip, other to see Bruce and a few others. The Randy that they all knew is long gone. He was best known for singing and a leader in the marching band. He didn't date and was very shy around girls.

I've all but lost touch with Bill, perhaps my closest childhood friend and college roommate. We also went to the same grad school, but me for theater and him for law school. Together we were promising youth leaders in the church. He still is, but I'm no longer a believer. And I also took all my theatrical training and went straight into business - specifically the software market.

Some people know me from when I was at Bell Labs and fresh out of school. Others know me from eight years at one job, now ten years past. Some know me from my five years as an internet entrepenuer. Some know me from the current job, now five years and running. You may know me from this online journal and others from my home theater hobby.

So yes, for all the Cam's out there - what you know me for is dependent on WHEN you knew me. And at 30, you didn't know me and you sure has hell didn't know yourself. Reflection is good, but don't spend to much time on it while you're so young.

Free Porn Magic for You!

For the most part, I find John Dvorak a blowhard - a columnist that thinks that poking a chained dog with a stick is fun.

But he may be onto something here.

Opinion Column from PC Magazine: Free Porn Magic for You!

I suspect he's right on all counts, and I'll be watching the logs on this web site for evidence.

But I'll do you one better. His article has no sex in it at all. I'll give you the secrets of sex and happiness, all for the low price of only $19.95!

That's right, send Captain Randy your personal check (sorry, PayPal not accepted) for $19.95 and I will revel to you the secrets of:

Finding the perfect mate.
Getting all the sex you want.
What women really want and how to give it to them or what men want and how to make them your slave for life
Your purpose in life and amazing the truth about the universe.

And as an added bonus, how to get real Rolex watches for a fraction of the cost!

For an additional $4.95 I'll also tell you how to be the Apple iPod for free!

But it's a limited time offer - act now!



* Secrets of the universe, although startling, are also available through a lifetime of study and meditation. Or for only $19.95 they can be yours! Sorry, no refunds or exchanges. Karma can neither be bought or sold, only apportioned by the universe.

I Don't Know What This Is

But it's just too cool to pass up.

muppetsovertime05

Did I ever mention how upset I am, STILL, at Jim Henson? He had no right to die when he did. I feel robbed of all the wonderful stories he could have told.

This is why Portland is an interesting place to live

Columbus, Ohio is the type of place one lives, but never vacations. It's an economic haven, a good place to live and raise a family, but scant little else to recommend it.

Now Portland. They have Voodooo Doughnut.

Thief learns lesson in do's and doughnuts

Things Worth Believing In

Now here's a list of things that have merit believing in.

THE WORLD QUESTION CENTER 2005

But then again, these are scientists (for the most part). So if you prove their beliefs incorrect, they'll thank you for it.

Shore Leave

I'm taking a brief break to enjoy the holidays with my family. Back soon!

Apparently, watching the movie was too much trouble.

Ah, another idiot that didn't bother to do basic research:

Giant robots in the backyard | CNET News.com: "It's been a common theme in U.S. science fiction, too, although typically on a more human scale. Robert Heinlein's 1959 novel 'Starship Troopers,' and the 1997 film made from the book, featured soldiers with powerful exoskeletal armor that dramatically augmented their strength."

No, the movie didn't have soldiers in exoskeletons. It was a big letdown for what was an otherwise rollicking B grade scifi yarn.

I sometimes wonder where they find these writers.

Hal. Open the voting booth curtain, Hal.

The Diebold Variations

Evidence Of The Existance Of Evil

I grew up in rural Illinois and I remember when the first Wal-mart arrived in the middle 70's. It was something of a cultural event. A Saturday night out included a trip to Wal-mart.

But I've never liked the place. Unlike Target which is clean, well lit, has wide isles and inexpensive and attractive merchandise, Wal-mart is crowded and often dirty with jumbled shelves. It feels like a trip to the State fair.

Down and Out in Discount America: "Al Zack, who until his retirement in 2004 was the United Food and Commercial Workers' vice president for strategic programs, observes that appealing to the poor was 'Sam Walton's real genius. He figured out how to make money off of poverty. He located his first stores in poor rural areas and discovered a real market. The only problem with the business model is that it really needs to create more poverty to grow.' That problem is cleverly solved by creating more bad jobs worldwide."

One has to spend a few years in corporate America to learn that there can be good companies, but there can also be truly bad ones, ones with evil intent. In a past job I had touches with both corporate operations at Enron and Wal-mart. Both, it was clear even 10 years ago, had bad intent. They were not a good partners for anyone. Both planned their business to drive all of the positive benefits to themselves and gloried in crushing other businesses. One has reaped the whirlwind. The other is still going to and fro in the world.

The community where I live has fought them off, but it was a protracted legal battle. The only thing that can stop their downward crush on the minimum wage worker is to unionize their workforce. Make them compete on a level playing ground.

Ah!

William Gibson: "And then there are those episodes of history that unravel with the breathtaking and utterly unexpected abruptness of a cashmere miniskirt catching on a chainlink fence... "

So nice.

The Things One Learns

What one misses when one is raised in a barn!

SERVING & STORING PORT @ Into Wine: "Another tradition provides for, in the event that the decanter does not come full circle, back to the host, a proper means of getting it there. As it is bad 'port-iquette' to ask directly for the decanter, the host instead is to ask the individual closest to the decanter, if he knows the bishop of Norwich or other village in England. The question is not meant to get an answer but action – namely the immediate passing of the port. If however, the unfortunate offender should answer the question by saying 'No,' he should be told that 'the bishop is an awfully good fellow, but he never passes the port!' "

That's Twice

Come on, Bruce. You're a smart guy. Surely there's a FedEX office right around the corner.

Too bad you can't take these on planes

Or simply pack up 400 or so of them and check them. Or haven't you been watching Lost?

Exactly How Much Is This Costing Us?

CNN.com - U.S. missile defense test fails - Dec 15, 2004: "A target missile carrying a mock warhead was successfully launched as scheduled from Kodiak, Alaska, at 12:45 a.m. EST, in the first launch of a target missile from Kodiak in support of a full flight test of the system.

However, the agency said the ground-based interceptor 'experienced an anomaly shortly before it was to be launched' from the Ronald Reagan Test Site at Kwajalein Atoll in the central Pacific Ocean 16 minutes after the target missile left Alaska.

An announcement said the interceptor experienced an automatic shutdown 'due to an unknown anomaly.'"

Christ.

Missile defense is a pipe dream. It simply can't be done. And more simply, if it could be done missiles are one of the last things we have to defend against. How exactly is a missile defense system going to protect us against a U-haul truck packed with fertilizer and nuclear medical waste?

Yes, a nuclear weapon on a missile is a really bad thing. So spend the billions making sure none are pointed at us.

You might as well be white.

Emil Guillermo nailed this one. He caught my interest by talking about his 16 year old daughter - something I hold in common with him. But he does so much more with this column. The title of the post is a striking line from the article, a cause to take a moment and contemplate. I, like him, do not consider myself conservative. Mostly.

The Good Kind Of Conservative"At that point, my personal conservatism shows its limits. It's too selfish, and not broad enough for society at large. If you want justice, fairness and equality for all in an America that is diverse in race and thought, conservatism doesn't move fast enough. We need more yeses. There are too many nos."

Last night I went with Kathleen down to the Columbus Music Hall, a somewhat renovated (let's say converted) Edwardian firehouse, where every Monday night Vaughn Weister leads his Famous Jazz Orchestra through three sets of big band magic. Kathleen goes there every Monday and Vaughn graciously invites her up to play string bass for a few numbers. Last night it was snowing, so I used it as an excuse to tag along. I couldn't be prouder.

She's beautiful and talented and talking about making a run at getting in to Juliard. I have no idea if she has what it takes, but I support her in trying. I must admit I'm a little nervous at the prospect of her moving to New York and immersing herself into the Jazz scene, but I know there will be some terrific people there to look out for her if she can make it.

But she's still 16 and that means sometimes I have to be aggressively conservative. I don't like her dating and so far she hasn't. I am vocally opposed to a "friend" who is a college freshman that stays in frequent contact. Nice kid, but a college boy has no business around my high school junior daughter. You want to see how quickly I switch from my support for global pacifism to direct and violent intervention then keep heading down that path, mister.

My younger one turns 12 on Friday and has been chafing for months at our rule that she had to wait for her birthday to get her ears pierced. When both turn 18 they have my blessings and their conduct is none of my business. I wish them to be happy and healthy and near to me as possible so I can spoil my grandchildren rotten.

My family values are extremely protective and hardly liberal. That's another reason that I think that government is best at only two levels - one federal and remote with virtually no limits to behavior and a second, as local as possible that provides the services that directly touch me, like educating my children and picking up the trash. I'll deal with the behavior, thank you.

It's About Validation

Something about this strikes me as the shape of things to come.

Wired News: Home-Brew IPod Ad Opens Eyes

First, this self-made ad is very good. Now take a moment and think of a world where virtually anyone can make an advertisement for their favorite products. Why would people do that? Because convincing someone else to buy what you have (or want) is validation of your desires.

And I think it goes to the heart of a fundamental assertion I made nearly 10 years ago when I tried my hand at starting and running a business. "People want to be right more than they want to be rich or recognized."

The web is a medium of personality. What is interesting is opinion and individuality. That's why blogs are taking off. And in them some of us will talk about the things we buy and how much we love or hate them. Smart businesses will ride the wave. Others will attack and fight this, which will be ultimately self defeating.

Ain't No Too Sides About it

Sometimes I despair about the South.

School Defends Slavery Booklet "Principal Larry Stephenson said the school is only exposing students to different ideas, such as how the South justified slavery. He said the booklet is used because it is hard to find writings that are both sympathetic to the South and explore what the Bible says about slavery.

'You can have two different sides, a Northern perspective and a Southern perspective,' he said."

Let me put it simply: there are not two sides to this issue. Slavery was a great human evil. There is no evidence that the South would have soon stopped the practice. Those that used the Bible to justify slavery were wrong to do so.

And although there may have been many reasons for the Civil War, the issue of slavery was paramount. The distraction of the "states rights" issue was simply another smoke screen to prolong the economic benefit of this terrible sin.

I sigh as I think of this and it leads me to radical thoughts. You know what? State have long lost their usefulness. I'm a citizen of the United States not at citizen of Ohio. I'm not an Illinoisan because I was born there. I'm an American. I'll live wherever I damn well please and I don't care to deal with 50 different sets of peculiar laws. It's time to give up the distinction. I only see the need for a Federal government, and a local one (very local if you ask me).

Doug Wilson and Steve Wilkins, the authors of this pamphlet win my Evil Idiots of the Month award.

Ain't Nobody's Business If I Do

Christ, I'm tired of this nonsense.

MSNBC - Philly officials may ban kids from later PG films

Now you have to understand - I'm a big stickler for movie and event behavior. I HATE people who talk and make noise through movies. It even annoys me when they blab through the trailers. And I detest people that bring little kids to movies the have no business being in.

But I absolutely loath making laws about behavior. So, call me a big libertarian. What I think this country needs is a massive reform effort to strip all behavioral controls short of violent acts out of the system. It's none of your business what I drink or smoke, who I have sex with, or if I decide to take kids to a movie.

I do support movie theaters enforcing civil behavior and silence. If a theater wanted to say, "no kids under 13 after 7 PM" then fine - I'd really like that. I like it when a restaurant has a no smoking policy. But no laws.

Hey, you in government. Keep your eye on the ball. It's your job to provide for the public welfare. Make sure that we're safe, provide a safety net, and have a level playing field to keep the greedy bastards from trying to put us all back into feudal serfdom. Then go home.

My Dream Job

Some people love The Onion (I do too). But for shear comic genius, you have to tip your hat to the Weekly World News.

There are times when I threaten to quick my job, renew my subscription to Mother Earth News and survive by growing tomatoes on the roof of my house. In other times of whimsy I long for a job writing for the WWN. What a joy it would be to write up any weird, funny, or outright strange thing that strikes me and see it in my local supermarket the next week.

Of course, sometimes they just report the news AFRICAN TRIBE WORSHIPS SALMA HAYEK'S BREASTS!

Brilliant, But Just A Theory

This is both funny and thought/anger provoking: Textbook disclaimer stickers

Creationism is another attempt by the religious right to undermine our entire society and create the theocracy they long for. But I understand this: they must fight for this.

Why? Because "biblical literalists" have set themselves up with a completely untenable position and organization of their beliefs. They can't even consider evolution. If they did, they'd have to admit that the bible is not 100% literal. Then they'd have to start considering all the other things that may not be exactly as they are presented in a version of these writing edited by committee 400 years ago. And they'd also have to admit that the bible isn't the most ancient of human writings.

They can't consider that human civilization stretches back not 2,000 or 4,000 but more than 10,000. And humans completely identical to ourselves have been around far, far longer.

The issue is really quite simple. Evolution is one of the great intellectual achievements of human kind. It can be observed. The evidence is in virtually every field of study. And as the stickers point out, it's not just a "cockamamie theory", but the best explanation that we have for how things work. No other explanation or theory exists to compete with it. Period.

Creationism is a belief. It is an expressed preference. "I wish it weren't this way. Here's the way I wanted it to be."

Strangely enough, the Star Trek universe supports creationism. In the mythology or backstory of the multiple series, we discover the the universe was "seeded" and guided by a massively advanced progenitor alien race in the far distant past. That's the clever way they explain that most aliens look just like us, but with bumpy foreheads and can have sex and cross-breed pretty easily. You'll also find that in the Star Trek universe that genetic engineering is forbidden because human's can't be trusted with it's awesome power, although atomic weapons and the much more powerful anti-matter and photon torpedoes are peachy. This is why we don't learn our science from TV and movies.

I'll Drink To That!

I am not a sophisticated or extremely experienced drinker, but I have learned a few things.

First, this is the only way to drink Irish Coffee:



To get the whole experience, you've got to visit the Buena Vista in San Francisco. I make a pretty good one, based on their recipe.

I came to drinking later in life than most and from a family of teetotalers. I don't drink much and hate paying the staggering prices at bars and restaurants. I'll drink a glass of wine with a meal. I enjoy the first refreshing long draught of beer on a hot day. But I don't drink more than two or three at a time. Frankly, one is enough. But I've also discovered I have a taste for and tolerance of sprits.

I take my whiskey and bourbon straight or with a splash of club soda. A tall vodka martini, up or on the rocks is heaven. I'm right with the British Navy and toss back my tot of rum in one (a little diet coke, if you must). Nothing fancy, thank you. Just a good quality scotch or cognac. Oh, and port! I'll pass up that piece of chocolate cake for that small glass or port any day.

What the Fark?

I like Fark.com - it's often funny and informative. But I too often forget that the net is largely run by children.

This thread makes it clear. It's pathetic, but funny too. Here we have a bunch of guys, self-admitted geeks, bemoaning the fact that they don't know how to attract women. Endless discussion on why they're still virgins, perhaps because they're too nice, too smart, or perhaps a little shy. The other guys get the girls because they're jerks and that's what women really want.

Or not. Come on, guys! You do hilarious photoshop contests. It's not that hard.

Captain Randy's Simple Rules For Attracting Women

1. Forget blaming it on jerks. Nobody likes jerks. What women find attractive is power.
2. No, it's not about confidence, it's about power and potential power. If you're doing something that interests you and doing it well and in public (see #5) women will respond to you. Part 2: it's not about money - money may bring power, but it's not having power that's important, it's the perception that you can get power and influence that makes you attractive. Power can be work related, civic, artistic. Power signals that you'd make a good mate or at least fun to hang out with for an evening. Part 3: you can not use your mastery of Star Trek trivia as a substitute for power. Or video game prowess. Or Monty Python quoting ability. Strangely enough, blogging well is very attractive to women (sorry girls, I'm happily married).
3. Don't be a slob. Christ, could you at least put on a clean shirt?
4. You're not that smart. Stop using you're enormous intelligence as an excuse. Intelligence is sexy and attractive. What is not attractive is a bunch of geeks hanging out together giggling about minutia. Just stop it.
5. Get out. Good, single, straight men are in short supply. Turn off the farking computer and go where other people are, where they're doing stuff. Doesn't matter what. Just stuff.
6. OK, confidence is good. Don't be afraid to be alone. Go places, dress well, be happy. Leave the rest of the geeks at home. Do not hang out with them.
7. Stop constructing the ideal of the perfect women off of internet porn. It's not helping you. Construct your ideals of attractive women by being out in public and seeing what's available. You might be pleasantly surprised at what you see.
8. When you do find yourself interested in a woman, ask for a date and be clear. Say it this way: "would you like to go on a date?" Don't set yourself up again for a "just friends" relationship. That way if she says no, you're cool and didn't waste your time. And if she says yes, give careful attention to rule number 9.
9. Touch her. Just a gentle touch on the back of the hand, the back of her arm. Show her that you are interested in her physically. Not touching shows that you are the eunuch boy that she can complain about all the jerks too. Haven't you had enough of that?
10. If you're under 20 years old, stop sweating this stuff. Nobody under 25 knows what they're doing.

It can work, boys. I've known some of the geekiest guys on the planet and they've managed to find women that love them.

Surprisingly Accurate

As seen on Every Fool:

Looks just like me, too. (although I suspect it's slightly more than 40% - I had to fix the blockquote tag.

You are 40% geek

You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator. Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend. You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines! Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals! You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

Mysteries? Hmm, is it a green one?

OK, as a work of art, maybe. But there's something about this that really bugs me.

A bookshop organized by color. "For one amazing week in November, Adobe Bookshop in San Francisco has agreed to allow its estimated 20,000 books to be reclassified by color. Shifting from red to orange to yellow to green, the books will follow the spectrum continuously, changing Adobe from a neighborhood bookshop into a magical library—but only for one week."

My wife hates it when I yell at the TV, but idiots piss me off. Some time ago we were watching a decorating show and the designer was so proud of a reading room where he'd organized all of the books based upon their colors. It immediately set me off.

I'm a lover of books, both as a reader and one who enjoys the art of the book itself. The book as an object holds special value to me. But to organize your shelfs by the color of the binding completely disregards the special nature of books and relegates them to knickknacks, disposable, valueless, pretty things. Arrange them to look pleasing. It matters not what's in them. It's as bad as the designers who load up a model home with Readers Digest Condensed Books and the cast offs from rummage sales.

Here's a secret about me. I judge people and their intellect by the books they read and keep in their homes. I watch what people are reading in restaurants and airports. Lots of my friends and acquaintances, good people, have no books and read very rarely. I find that a sad thing. I love visiting someone's home to discover a shelf of books. So rarely do I find walls full. It's a treat.

What can you tell about me by the books on my shelves? Well, on the ground floor when you enter the family room, you'll find a wall filled with books. You'll see a shelf of cookbooks and above it, three shelves of plays and books on theatre history and criticism. The middle section is overflowing with mysteries, some horror (but not much), American history, biographies, world history, and general literature (which has flowed over into the theater section). The third section is filled with books on religion, myth, philosophy, science, physics and math, and topped by a shelf of comedy. Next to a big comfy leather chair and ottoman you'll find a table which currently holds a copy of Remembrance of Things Past (or Searching for Lost Time, if you prefer) borrowed from Hedwig, a slim volume labeled "The Emperor's Handbook" which is a version of Marcus Aurelius writings, and whatever else I'm currently reading.

In the guest bathroom you'll find a small stack of books, currently a volume of Ogden Nash's poetry and a volume of Francis Bacon, along with the delightful "I Saw Esaw".

In my den on the second floor you'll find another wall of books. One section is largely science fiction, but one shelf is naval fiction mainly occupied by Patrick O'Brian. The middle section is reference works, primarily, the the third contains science fiction anthologies and paperbacks and general fiction. And another comfy chair and a stack of new things to read.

Oh, and I also have a personal rule: never leave the house without something to read.

Elsewhere in the house you'll find shelves with children's literature. The girls each have shelves of their own books.

I'm willing to be judged by these books. But to take them and arrange them by their color shape or size is a travesty. A bookstore it to me a sanctuary, a chapel. Arranging the pews so one can roller-skate in the middle may be ecstatically pleasing, but it's also disrespectful and sacrilegious.

Einsteinian Pain Waves

Thank god for the internet. My modest education and years of reading completely missed this important universal force.

Wired News: Cattle, the Research Catalyst "Professor Bajaj is from the Delhi University's department of physics and astrophysics. He has spent 14 years investigating the effects of animal slaughter on earthquakes, air crashes and other disasters. 'The killing of animals causes natural and manmade disasters,' Bajaj said. 'But, since the cow is so useful to human beings, its slaughter causes exceptional seismic activity. The cries of the animals go down to the earth through Einsteinian pain waves.'"

Perhaps I should mail off for a PhD in physics and astrophysics. Got to admit, that would look pretty cool on my business cards. "Doctor Captain Randy".

The Devil You Know

So. John Ashcroft, that deeply deluded and evil man, is resigning.

Why does that worry me? It's hard to think of anyone worse in that position of great power.

What worries me is that maybe Ashcroft is too soft for the tastes of this administration and their masters from the dark side. Maybe they want to get someone really effective in there.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

And that worries me, too. Why is Soviet era humor now so fitting for the US?

Get Your Facts Straignt

I'm of two minds on Michael Crichton. Sometimes he can produce a reliable beach read. He certainly makes entertaining TV and movies. For the most part. But there are other times, such as his novel "Prey" which could benefit from a strong editor and a swift kick in the behind.

But he is one smart dude, evidenced by this speach:

Why Speculate? A talk by Michael Crichton International Leadership Forum La Jolla April 26, 2002
"Those are the lengths you have to go to if you want to be certain that your information is correct. But when I tell people this story, they just stare at me incomprehendingly. The find it absurd. They don't think it's necessary to do all that. They think it's overkill. They live in the world of MSNBC and the New York Times. And they've forgotten what real, reliable information is, and the lengths you have to go to get it. "

He's right, speculation is entertaining, but far too easy. Much harder, it is, to speak clearly about what happened before (said in my best Yoda imitation). And talking and writing about the recent election is difficult. And not so entertaining about what dark days and events lie ahead.

Here's what I think about this election. Most people, including most Americans, are fucking idiots. They know nothing about the reality of the universe and the lives they live. They remain lost in a world of myth and speculation all laid out for them as fact. It's not about liberals and conservatives, it's about Thinkers and Believers.

And here's the important part: believing is a bad thing. Belief forbids thought and insight and understanding. Thinking requires all of these things and demands the very careful checking and processes to makes sure our information is reliable, makes sure our theories work and describe the universe and the lives we lead to the best of our abilities.

You know what? Today isn't any darker than yesterday. It's the same damn place it's always been. It's almost always been this battle, but there are more thinkers today than there have ever been. We're making progress.

At least that's what I believe.

Comforting Words From Captain Randy

You're fucked.

Royally fucked. Bury the family silver in the back yard. Hunker down and see you in four years.

Actually, I'm more than a little interested to see if they'll now let the mask slip, reveal the slithering evil inside. Will events and circumstances keep them restrained, or will they let loose with a barrage of repression, trying to shape the country after their own desires for the next fifty years?

It's a bad time, folks. But it's made clear that a full half of the country wants it exactly this way. I'm beginning to wonder if a little class warfare isn't a good idea after all.

More, after my coffee . . .

OK, here's the bright side. Bush will now have to deal with his mess in Iraq. Had Kerry won, he would have been saddled with it and I don't think there's a solution that doesn't turn out badly for everyone. So it will be completely in Bush's lap.

And in the good news front. I can now get a drink (soon) in historically dry Westerville. I'm gonna need it.

Wearing My Sticker Proudly

My wait at the polls was only 45 minutes. I arrived right at a quarter to 10 and was out by 11. I voted, exercised my franchise, but somehow that didn't do much to ease the tension or my sense of impending doom.

Let's hope tomorrow brings clear, unambiguous good news.

Investing For (or By) Idiots

I'm either a savvy long-term investor or a rather lazy, stupid one. I
tend to hold stocks forever. I like picking good companies that I
believe in, then sticking with them as long as I still believe.

Cry, Beloved Apple
Stock / Jobs & Co. just made our columnist a tidy profit. So why is
selling the shares so damn hard?

Like Mr. Morford, I've owned Apple forever. I bought my first block
before the Newton came out - I'd been a Mac user since 1987 and saw the
Newton and handheld market as the brilliant future. OK, so the Newton
didn't work out, but the Palm did. But I still believed in Apple. I
bought another, larger block just when Jobs came back.

My broker thinks I'm a genius, but I just like the company. I've
thought hard about selling now and taking the profits, but here's why I
won't: I still believe in the company and think there's more growth
there.

And I like owning part of the company.

I did the same thing years ago, buying Blockbuster stock because they
were developing print-on-demand video. That never happened, but the
stock went up. Eventually, Paramount purchased blockbuster, then
Viacom bought them. All good. Now, Blockbuster's being spun back off.
And I'm staying with them. Now here's the paradox: I hate
Blockbuster. I don't rent videos/DVDs. I dislike there selection and
policies. But I think that there's big growth there and potential in
markets that they can compete in, like home delivery (i.e. Netflix),
and eventually wired delivery. And I have hopes that they'll compete
on discount sales, which they are well positioned for with their
stores, but have yet to enter. So, even though I don't like them as a
consumer, I understand their business and market and like them as an
investor. I'll have no problem selling when I think they're ripe.

My stock pick for the day? Buy a good mutual fund. Don't pick stocks.

We have a word for that in English

"We believe this emotion is known in English as schadenfreude."

Uh, no, not English. In fact, we don't have a single word for it.

Unless you refer to Mel Brooks, "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."

You know you should worry when . . .

Pat Robertson starts sounding like a reasonable person with good judgement.

CNN.com - Robertson: I warned Bush on Iraq casualties - Oct 19, 2004: "'You remember Mark Twain said, 'He looks like a contented Christian with four aces.' I mean he was just sitting there like, 'I'm on top of the world,' ' Robertson said on the CNN show, 'Paula Zahn Now.'

'And I warned him about this war. I had deep misgivings about this war, deep misgivings. And I was trying to say, 'Mr. President, you had better prepare the American people for casualties.' '

Robertson said the president then told him, 'Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties"

But then ol' Pat restores my faith in him and goes ahead and endorses Bush. Because even though Bush is completely certifiable, dangerous, and deaf to all criticism, he's still has "the blessing of heaven" on him. That's certainly a relief.

HBO Says "Screw You, Subscribers"

I really like HBO's original programming. I'm a big fan of "Deadwood". But I don't currently watch any of their movies - it's just too big a hassle to watch a movie when they want to show it to me.

I do, however, want to record their program, which I pay for, and watch it when AND WHERE I want to. It's my right, and it's legal.

But they're working against me. You too.

HBO freezes fair use; plugs analog hole

So screw them. HBO, you're cancelled. No more money from Captain Randy.

Not So Funny

I'm a big fan of William Gibson and I'm pleased to see he's speaking out and blogging again.

President Bush Answers Your Questions

Hedwig might not find this funny either. It hits far to close.

What scares me is this: I've always thought the worst of this administration, but they've continually shown that I'm not nearly cynical enough. They've disappeared prisoners in Afghanistan and Iraq. They continue to hold American citizens indeterminately and without access to lawyers. Should they win or steal the coming election, they'll rule as if they one by a landslide and an iron mandate.

Don't ask any questions, Billy.

That's Entertainment!

I just placed my order for the That's Entertainment! movie collection (Amazon - much better price than the local Best Buy). I'm hoping it arrives quickly.

Then, rather than watching the final presidential debate and the consequential spinning, I can seal myself up in my theater, pour myself a rather large dirty martini, and smile myself silly as I watch all the great moments of the MGM movie musicals in a truly grand motion picture extravaganza.

Sing along with me, won't you?

Rest In Peace, Mr. Reeve

I was deeply saddened this morning to learn of the passing of Christopher Reeve. He was both a fine actor and after his life altering accident, an inspiration and true hero.

Although many remember him only as Superman (and who could not?) I found him to be a talented actor. See his performance in "Remains Of The Day" to witness his clear and controlled performance.

I had really hoped to see him walk again.

As If I Didn't Hate Microsoft Already

Christ.

'iPod users are music thieves' says Ballmer - silicon.com

When did Karl Rove start working for Microsoft? Ballmer's comments are a massive smear at iPod users - backed up with nothing. Lies. It's viscous and mean. And it's an insult.

Microsoft is so greedy that they can't stand success anywhere but by themselves. I'm an iPod user - I'm still using my 1st generation 5 gig iPod - my daughter bought a 3rd generation 10 gig for herself. Not one song on either is stolen. Every one is either burned from CDs I own or from music I legally purchase online.

Oh. Wait. I didn't purchase any of that stuff from Microsoft. So let me restate what Ballmer was trying to say. "If you didn't buy it from us, you're stealing from us."

And directly to Mr. Ballmer. You can't see me right now, but I'm giving you the finger. Asshole.

Captain Randy Declares For Kerry

It's not exactly as if I had a choice.

I've been living under a cloud of dread since the 2000 election. I feared the worst from Bush and his gang and got exactly what I feared. War. Loss of civil rights. Massive national debt with nothing to show for it. A world teetering on the edge of generational warfare and inherently unsafe for travel outside our own borders. A deeply divided America.

And my sense of dread for the coming election is palpable. I couldn't bring myself to watch the debates - mainly because I can't stand listening to Bush.

Today is October 1. Here's my prediction. Kerry will begin to slowly pull ahead in the polls. Then Karl Rove and his team of thugs, successors of Lee Atwater (who if you believe in cosmic justice or karma, found that doing evil bounces right back at you - and was man enough to admit it at the end), will go nuclear on every type of smear, dirty trick and outright lies, striking fear wherever they can. There are already reports of "Push Polling" going on - the technique Rove uses to smear a rival like he did for John McCain "Would you still vote for McCain if you learned that he fathered a black child out of wedlock?". For Kerry he's using "Would you still vote for Kerry even though he's going to raise your taxes?"

Here's the facts, America. Rove and company think you are stupid. They believe they can manipulate you. When they're down, they don't stick to the fundamentals. They will do literally anything to win. They have before.

It's just too damn depressing.

But I stand firm and clear. I have hope. Bush is bad for America, bad for the world. Kerry is an intelligent and experienced man who will be dramatically better for all of us. I urge you to support him on election day.

But remember, if you're contacted by a pollster, lie. Let's make it a surprise landslide and make polling useless.

Scary Graphs and Incomprehensible Systems

I do it just to torture myself, but every day I visit this site:

Current Electoral Vote Predictor 2004

Regardless of your political leanings, this type of "predict the outcome" based on polling and projections is stomach churning. In the past few weeks the us map displayed there has shifted wildly.

I restate my advice on polls: lie. Polls are a fundamental invasion of privacy and a direct attempt to nail down the future. Resist! If you're approached, phoned, or mailed by a pollster, run away. Or better yet, take the poll and lie - take the opposite viewpoint from your actual one. Encourage your friends and relatives to do the same.

The only way to stop them is to make them wildly inaccurate. Still can't stop checking the damn site, though . . .

Light Speed In A Chevy Impala

Today is the release of the original 3 Star Wars movies on DVD. I just placed my order on Amazon, so I'll probably have to wait till next week. No problem there. I count myself among those that really enjoyed those movies, but didn't go nuts over them.

But there is an entire generation that went nuts over these films. They are most likely too young to have seen the original Star Wars in the theater, most likely first seeing it on their family VCR. Just like my daughter use to watch "The Little Mermaid" every day when we got home, they sucked it up.

I was 17 when the movie came out. That was an age where the hype you got built slowly. I remember hearing about it on the radio and went to see it by myself. It was a hoot, exciting and fun. On the drive back home I was lucky not to get ticketed as I made the jump to light speed in my lime green 4-door Chevy Impala.

But I was already a long time reader of science fiction. I'd seen many of the movie serials, including Flash Gordon, on TV. And I was a Star Trek fan from the first. So Star Wars was a continuation of the type of thing I enjoyed, not the source of it.

The more recent Star Wars movies are a disappointment. Frankly, they're just not any good. Oh, but the first is a joy.

Perchance To Dream

Ah, what wonderful things are dreams. But not magical or supernatural, I'm afraid.

Sweet dreams are made of this ... have we solved the Freudian riddle?: "Alternatively, the answer to the riddle of dreams may all be quite simple, mundane almost.

'I see them as the cinema of the mind,' said Dr Jim Horne of the sleep research centre at Loughborough University. 'They're there to keep the brain entertained during the tedious hours of sleep and have very little significance beyond that.' "

I somewhat agree with Dr. Horne, but I think that dreams help with sorting out our thoughts and experience. I think that they're our brain's way of telling itself stories. Some are "what if", some are historical dramas of our own lives or with us as a central figure.

I think this work also helps to explain why we love movies so much. Movies are literally dreams made real.


And lastly a word of praise for the good folks at boingboing.net - their posts often intrigue and interest me and results in posting here. Thanks to Davit Pescovitz for this one.

Why Blog?

I am often asked, "why should I publish/write my own blog?" The answer is, "If you have to ask, then you shouldn't."

I write and publish because I can. I've kept sporadic journals since college, filled with mostly navel-gazing and self remonstration for not writing more, and better (and more legibly, sorry about that, future reader). They're stacked in the closet of my den. And although I have the skills to publish a site using raw HTML, it's a bother - blogging makes publishing easy.

So, I write - it's what I do, a big part of who I am. Hell, if you ask me "what do you do?", I'll tell you that I'm in software marketing. If you ask me what I am, I'll tell you "a writer." It's what I was trained and educated to do. Writers write. Some of them publish. Very few earn money at it. I don't need the money (yes, I'd love to be paid for writing, but it's not a requirement to keep me writing). And I can publish.

I might even have readers. So I write about what strikes me, when it strikes me, and I put it here. Every once and a while I make a connection with someone and that's interesting, but not necessary. Often I learn something and help clarify my thoughts. And on occasion, I publish a piece of fiction, a little story. Over time it adds up. I don't know what it will become, nor does it matter at this point.

As a reader, I read blogs and web sites that interest me. What interests me the most? Smart, interesting people and the opinions they express.

What's also interesting is what I don't choose to publish. Deleted from this post was a long section speculating about the future, economics, nanotechnology, and human occupations, with the ramifications thereof. But it was also clear that I don't know the hell what I was talking about on that rather broad subject, so that for another day.

Why Blog? It is entertaining and satisfying for me. No other reason would suffice.

On Clowning

Hedwig, the wise old owl, sent me in this direction to see the BBC's photo article about Clowns Without Borders.



It's beautiful and touching photo essay. Smiles are so infectious.

Out of the dark recesses of my past, I too was a clown. In college after I switched from Biology/Chemistry/Premed to Theatre I began to study with a gifted clown, Winston Inslee. The roots of my theatrical training and understanding come as much from the clown as it does from Shakespeare. Or perhaps my understanding of Shakespeare is enhanced by clearly seeing how much buffoonery is central to his work.

My senior project was a performance/play based on the clown character I developed - it helped me get into grad school (accepted into 2 different programs). During my MFA work I also worked on my clowning. I never did birthday parties or entertained at fast food restaurants, thank god, but I did my share of nursing homes and schools. When I shifted my focus from performing to playwrighting, it was the clown who gave me the most inspiration. My full length play, "Grimaldi: King Of The Clowns" got me my degree and after I left, was selected by SIU to perform in their main season. It also went to the American College Theater Festival. That was thrilling and terrifying in itself. (BTW - find Grimaldi's "autobiography" - it's edited by Boz - Charles Dickens - he basically wrote it himself).

After moving to Columbus and entering the business world (starting with nearly 2 years at Bell Labs) I continued clowning, mainly at festivals and some organized busking events (how can you have organized buskers?). I taught a class in clowning for OSU's adult education program for a couple of years - was even featured on the catalog cover. But OSU canceled their adult education and life got more complex with work and kids. I had to decide where to commit my artistic energies - writing won out.

There was also another thing that made me put away the red nose and grease paint - I got to that rare point where I was very good, good enough to see what it would take to be exceptional. I could also see that I didn't have the drive or talent to be what I expected of myself.

I also had/have a very narrow vision of what kind of clowning I like. Cirque Du Sole = wonderful. Bozo=scarry. Crusty the Clown = hilarious. Emmet Kelly=breathtaking (but now overdone, stealing the magic of what he was). I saw Red Skelton perform and when he wasn't being a ham and just plain goofy, he could be a wonderful clown.

You see, the clown is a very specific, very important theatrical form. When I see something like Clowns Without Borders I know it can work because the clown is a key human component - playing off the ridiculous. It is a counter to the Shaman, that claims spiritual authority and great dignity. The clown claims no such thing, and mocks those that do.

And what makes people strong? Laughing together. Theatre is a natural human occupation. Just as Pinker tells us "The mind is something the brain does" the theater is something that humans living together do. We tell stories. We repeat them. We formalize them. And the telling and watching make us feel better.

How brilliant of these people to know and act on this. "People told me that big international organisations give them clothes and food, but that nobody ever makes them smile."

No. There's a difference between changing your mind and lying.

I detest this talk of "flip flopping" on issues. Anyone that insists on never changing your position, never deciding you were wrong, never finding a better way, or since we're talking about politics, never compromises, simply isn't being honest.

For example:

President Bush: Flip-Flopper-In-Chief

Assorted shrubbery on car

I heard the always funny Carl Hiaasen on yesterday's "On The Media" and looked up his column.

On the beach, waiting for Frances

My oldest daughter asks, "why are you watching the Weather Channel? It's just endless weather reports!". And I explained to her that watching storm coverage is like watching NASCAR (which I don't do). You don't watch for the race, you watch because someone might crash. It's both horrifying and cool and you'd hate to miss it.

That's why the desktop picture on my 21" Apple Cinema Display at work is a high resolution picture (updated, manually, daily), of Ivan's approach to the Gulf and eventual landfall (get them fresh at http://www.noaa.gov). I don't wish ill on anyone, but man, it's interesting!

That, and more storm coverage means less election coverage.

That's not a utility belt.

Am I upset that some fruitcake dresses like Batman and hangs a banner at Buckingham Palace? Not one bit.

But please, if you must borrow our cultural icons, please, no belly packs!

Batman at Buckingham Palace

Sex Not Found

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Now, how do we force movie executives to watch it?

I am hopeful about the future. Technology gives us tools and people find a way to do great things.

If you've been to a movie recently, you've probably seen one of those pointless "don't steal movies" ads. Here's the perfect answer to it:

Who Watches Movies?

Blogger Broken

Damn - can't post.

Actually, I can post, but I can't get the site to update. Something is
broken.

However, if you can read this, it is now fixed.

Carry on.

There Is A Balm In Goldberg

I'm feeling particularly "tender" today. No particular reason, just a synchronisity of events. My oldest daughter turned 16 this past weekend and I spent all of yesterday afternoon running her around so she could get her driver's license. This morning she kissed me goodbye and headed off on her own. I watched her drive away with a mixture of pride and sadness. My job as a parent for her is almost done.

Today I also learned of a coworker/friend how just learned her child has cancer. I don't know any details yet, but I instantly felt that mixture of depression and fear.

So here in my office, at work drawing time lines for projects, I turn to the Goldberg Variations. Ah, they do help.

Buy More Music

Yes, we've added iTunes to the side bar so you can buy more music.

Actually, it's a pretty good way to get the music you want. As an example, Kathleen plays in several different bands and orchestras. She comes to me with a list of the music she's playing and we look for the tracks - and don't have to buy the whole album if we don't want it (but with classical I typically do - so much good stuff).

My Favorite Error Message

Many years ago (almost 20 years!) I was documenting software and creating training for a large medical information project at Bell Labs. I came across an error message for a field that I got a big kick out of. It said:

Please Disambiguate This Field.

I could never be certain that the programmer was joking. Knowing that crowd of button-down programmers, they were probably serious.

What made me think of that today?

Wikipedia:Disambiguation

I Don't Buy It. And Neither Should You.

Sigh.

Would this were true.

The Last Days of Telemarketing

As much as I hate spammers, tele-marketers truly depress me. Here's a real person and they're on a mission not just to annoy the hell out of me, the expect me to buy something. I'm rarely outright rude (OK, not so rare anymore), but gosh, what a way to make a living. What has lead you to the point in life where the best job you can get is sitting in a cubical farm and calling strangers, shilling. How sad for you.

Here's my rules for telemarketing, spam, and even door-to-door sales:

1. NEVER BUY FROM THEM. PERIOD.
That's right, and turn them away quickly. Yes, it's a person, but you're not obliged to talk to them. Yes, there is a difference for the neighborhood kid that's selling stuff to support their school - but not a big difference. If one of them approaches you, I suggest giving, but instead of buying junk, offer to make a direct contribution to their cause.

2. If you buy from these jerks, you make trouble for everyone else.
Why do they do it? Because it works. Spam a million people and ten will buy. So I'll spam 100 million. Again and again. Stop buying and stop everyone you know from buying. It's the only way it will stop.

3. If that wasn't clear enough for you, let me make it perfectly clear: Only stupid people buy from tele-marketers and spammers.
You're a mark. You've been conned. So wise up.

Let me tell you something else. Those television "info-mercials" aren't much better. It's a medicine show. It's all staged. The elixir they sell you is bathtub gin and gunpowder (which, unfortunately, I'm acquiring a taste for).

I have to admit, the Ginsu knifes I got at the Illinois State Fair 25 years ago are still razor sharp!

Captain Randy Sells Out

I'm really cluttering up the blog - more experiments, really. I've added an Alibris "Affiliate's Link" to the sidebar and will soon add one for iTunes - more playing around than anything serious.

But hey, I already bought 3 books since adding it, so it seems to be working. Oh, wait . . .

The Shape Of Things To Come

Soon, my friends, I hope to see the day when good news such as this is common place.

Carol Connolly gets another chance to garden

I have great hope for the future. Some day, cancer will be a story from our dark past and we'll shudder at the way people died and what they went through. All of the common diseases will fade away and our children and grandchildren will know them not.

But those of us who did know them, who knew those who suffered and died, will have a special bitterness.

And I have a new fear. When I was young, I knew that I would never live to the age of 16 and get my driver's license. It was clear that the world would vanish in a wave of nuclear heat. I still remember the nightmares where I would look out over the prairie from my home, the home of my great grandfather, and the western horizon would be lined with mushroom clouds.

And now? To get the news, to find cancer growing in my own body, or worse, my loved ones, so sure that in just a few years it would be trivial to reverse and repair.

I'm happy for Carol. Many happy days for you.

How to be creative

gapingvoid: how to be creative (original short version)

Even better when translated into Chinese.

I especially like Rule #7 and it's corollary, The Sex and Cash Theory.

This is only a test

I'm just screwing with the ads, see what shows up.

So, if I were to look for calendar software for my Mac, what should I get? Or if I wanted to buy movie posters or props? What about gourmet foods? And I like coffee - what about some really good coffee - maybe some I could roast myself? Where can I buy a coffee roaster - a small one? Or how do you roast coffee beans in an iron skillet?

And what about digital cameras? Where can I get one with a large hard drive, not a stupid little memory card.

And how much caffeine free coke can one person drink in a day?

After These Messages, We'll Be Right Back

So, as an experiment, I'm trying out the Google advertising - you may (or may not) see them to the right of this messages.

I don't think I have enough readers to make them worth while, nor do I encourage you, gentle reader, to click them or to buy their products or services.

I'm just a curious monkey.

The Wrath of the Net

Every day I spend 15 to 20 minutes sorting out the spam - even with pretty good spam filtering. It's annoying and offensive and I wish to hell that someone, somewhere could do something about it.

So, here's a plea for all you spammers out there. Look at yourselves. Trying to sell sex, drugs, real estate get-rich-quick plans. Is this what your life has come to?

Know this. Your time is short. We'll fix email and the net and you'll reap the whirlwind. When reputation matters and there are no more secrets, we'll remember you. Yes we will.

Repent, Spammer

Call Me Ishmael

Now here's a great and worth project: The Hook Project

Wow, just reading through the entries to date makes me want to shout, "to the library!"

Books are such wonderful things. It's such a rare pleasure to find really good ones. And the best, the very best, take no time for you to ease into them. Bam. You're hooked.

My first contribution: the opening from John D. MacDonalds' Darker Than Amber

"We were about to give up and call it a night when somebody dropped the girl off the bridge."

Wow. Top that!

So Tell Me About This Internet Thing

Shakespere was right. "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

I see these things and I laugh, but it also makes my stomach churn. Repeat after me, "Linking is GOOD". Oh, and here's another, "Linking is NOT STEALING". And most important, "I WANT YOU TO LINK TO ME - IT'S HOW I MAKE MONEY!".

Athens 2004 Hyperlink Policy

And don't even get me started on the so called "Modern" olympics.

"It's INAPPROPRIATE!"

The following blog entry I found linked on Boingboing.net both depresses and angers me.

Sea and Sky and Land - GRRR!

First of all - congratulations and high praise for "mephron". You sir, are a hero.

Next - whoever in charge there needs to do the following:

1 - Issue a public apology to mephron and also praise him for standing up to an abuse of power.

2 - Publish the training and standards documents for these security people

3 - Put a supervisor with some common sense in charge so that in any given instant they can be called to override idiots.

Thank god there are some people with courage out there.

Actually, I'd Prefer to be Maced Instead Of Being Forced to Watch "Catwoman"

These idiots deserved to be maced and arrested. I'm a great fan of cell phones, but they should be off or on vibrate in theaters and restaurants - virtually anywhere where the public expects quiet and no interruptions.

Southpinellas: Police: Belligerence led to couple's arrest

On the other hand, a good tazering might be more satisfying for the audience.

So Cool

Let's all go the Phantasmagoria! Early Visual Media

A Modest Proposal: The Media License

I've been kicking around a proposal for years. Unfortunately, I'm only a voice in the wilderness with no one in a position to make it happen listen to me.

This blog post at Home Theater Watch reminded me of it: Home Theater Watch: DVD producers lament shortened windows

Here's what I recommend that will put untold riches in the studio's hands while treating the consumer fairly AND taking into account changing technology. The media license.

Here's how it would work: I go to a movie and pay not just for a ticket, but to license the content - it's no longer an anonymous transaction, but an agreement. I could, like the blog suggests, buy the DVD on in the lobby on the way out, but in my scenerio, I already have a license to the content, so I'd only need to pay a small media charge for the DVD.

If new editions or new formats come out, I could pay the media charge and get them as well. I could not, however, resell my discs. I could show them in my home to friends as much as I want, but not lend them out. On the other hand, if the DVD format goes to HD-DVD and then to totally online, I wouldn't have to repurchase the content again and again.

Rogue Waves redux

Interesting post on rogue waves! I too wonder what the frequency is. My grandfather's grandfather was engineer (yes, a Scottish engineer) on a sound and well-maintained passenger ship with an experienced captain and crew sailing in familiar waters that foundered off Halifax, N.S., just after the turn of the 20th century. I still have copies of clippings and a copy of a long letter of condolence his widow received from their pastor.

My ancestor was the hero of the occasion, going below himself to try to keep the ship afloat long enough to get the passengers and crew off in the lifeboats. He went down with the ship, knowing when he went below that it meant he was doomed. I think this makes him a great man, but I'm not sure how much comfort that idea was to his widow on that occasion.

Yes, some people were killed in the tragedy -- stormy seas, difficulty getting boats and the people in them to other ships and to shore -- but not because anyone got stranded aboard the ship, except for my ancestor (and, I believe, the captain of the ship).

I don't know if a rogue wave was involved or not. And we'll never know, will we? But it gives one furiously to think.

Someone at JPL has a sense of humor

Of course, you'd have to be a geek like me to get it.

Cassini-Huygens-Multimedia-Images

Stop It. Just Stop It.

I'm so tire of it all. Yet it's important that we flush these guys out and get it right.

What's wrong with our political system? Money. People who want it and people who what to keep it (and get LOTS more). All of the rhetoric, the playing to religious camps and social ideals is so cynical it make the bile rise in my throat (and I had my gall bladder out last year, so that's no easy task).

Thank god for people like Bill Moyers who do really understand this issue.

Democracy in the Balance, Sojourners Magazine/August 2004 "And what is driving this shift? Contrary to what you learned in civics class in high school, it is not the so-called 'democratic debate.' That is merely a cynical charade behind which the real business goes on - the none-too-scrupulous business of getting and keeping power so that you can divide up the spoils. If you want to know what's changing America, follow the money."

Physical Theories as Women

Telling stories like this was probably why I didn't date in High School.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Physical Theories as Women

Two Large Ships Sink Every Week

Why is this fact buried inside a science article on rogue waves?

MSNBC - Satellites used to explain monster waves"'Two large ships sink every week on average, but the cause is never studied to the same detail as an air crash,' says Wolfgang Rosenthal of the GKSS Forschungszentrum GmbH research center in Germany. 'It simply gets put down to bad weather.'"

It's pretty startling, wouldn't you say? And if in 2004 it's 2 per week, what has it been in years past? Just how littered is the floor of the oceans?

Looks like we finally have some competition

Especially that I have trouble walking upright, at times.

CBC News: Monkey hits stride after near-death experience

A Quiet Night At Sweeny's

"There you go, Billy!" Mr. Jenson placed the tall root beer float in
front of the small boy at the counter. "Enjoy yourself!"

Jenson wiped his hands on a towel, then pressed his left hand against
his back, grimacing.

"Did you get injured in the war, Mr. Jenson?" Billy had abandoned the
straw and was spooning ice cream and soda into his mouth as quickly as
he could manage.

"No, Billy, I wasn't in the service."

"Well, what did you do?" His voice thick with cold.

Jenson smiled. It was a tight, thin smile, one masking the pain in
his back, or perhaps disgust. "I worked in an office, Billy."

"Really? I thought you always worked here at Sweeny's." He scooped
more of the float. "I don't know any people that work in offices."

"Not many do any more. Not many do."

"My family are all farmers. 'sept Ma, cause she teaches school."

Jenson started to speak, but then shook his head and walked to the
other end of the counter and began refilling the jar of hard candies.
But the task only took a moment and he straightened again, pressed his
back and faced the circulating fan. He tugged at his collar and tie,
then wiped the sweat from his brow with his pocket handkerchief.

But Billy remained in a talkative mood. "What'd ja do in that office,
Mr. Jenson?"

Jenson swallowed hard, then surprised at the welling of emotion,
covered his mouth.

"Wait! I bet you you was one of those 'puter guys! Was you one of
those guys, Mr. Jenson?"

Jenson poured himself a glass of water from the tap and drank half
before turning to the boy. "Yes, I worked on computers, Billy.
Computers and the internet."

"Wow! Mom says that computers was like radio with pictures. And you
could look up stuff like I do out of the Comptons!"

Jenson nodded briefly. "That's right. Just like that. But then they
turned if off and here I am, jerking soda's and staying in Sweeny's
good graces. So drink up your soda and head on home. You Mom will be
in here looking after you."

"Could you tell me more about the internet, Mr. Jenson? Nobody ever
tells me about nothing but keep'n my chores done and watch'n out to
make sure the neighbors aren't do'n nothing bad, neither."

Jenson pulled the not quite empty glass away from the boy.

"Hey, I wasn't done!"

"Go on home, Billy. And don't be asking me about things that happened
long before you was born. There are reasons folks don't talk about it
and I ain't the one to ask."

"But . . ."

Jenson came around the counter and lifted Billy off the stool and
walked him to the door. It wasn't any cooler outside, but it was just
getting dark enough to notice the gas street lights glowing brighter.

"'night, Mr. Jenson." Billy muttered as he turned right and scuffled
down the quiet street.

"Good night, Billy." Jenson sighed. He went inside and turned the
lock on the door. Looking across the street he could see Ray Farnum
staring out of the window of his hardware store at him. Jenson waved
without receiving recognition, then turned down the lights and made his
way back to his cot in the storeroom.

He groaned aloud as he eased off his shoes and laid upon the cot.
"Just turned it off. Damn me if they didn't do just that."

Here's Your New Reading List

When I create my list of banned books, it will be to list all the horrible crap I've endured. But you won't be forbidden, only warned.

These folks, on the other hand, are performing a great public service. The Forbidden Library: Banned and Challenged Books

See, I Don't Have That Much Time On My Hands

If I did, I could have done something like this: Lego Spider-Man Movie

Where You'll Find The Links

Or at least for today.

Bloglines | Clip Blog

Edwards for VP - The Anti-Cheney

This weekend we saw some pretty savvy media usage by the Kerry campaign stirring up interest in his VP selection. And they were also smart not to let it go on too long.

So it's John Edwards. Good looking young guy. Southerner. Not much experience. OK selection on merits, but excellent counterpoint to the rabid attack dog Dick Cheney. Yes, the current VP is the mastermind pulling the strings behind "Empty Suit" Bush - and an apparently evil genius, robot heart and all. Beyond that, he seems to be a completely unpleasant, if not downright repellent person - not someone you'd want as a next door neighbor (hey you kids, get off my lawn!).

Edwards has an easy smile and is strong at staying positive - get him out their on the trail NOW - counter every attach by Cheney with sunshine and light. It's not too late to turn away from the dark side.

Cassini-Huygens with the Flaven, Nice Lady . . .

This is just fascinating, remarkable stuff. And one more reason that I hope the new civilian efforts to get into space work out. There's so much fascinating stuff out there to see.

Why go to space? Money, Bub. The kind of wealth that will make Bill Gates look like a minimum wage burger flipper. Power beyond your wildest dreams. We used to call Europe "the old world" and think all the opportunity lay in the new one. Well it's all old now.

Let's blow this pop stand and see what's going is the big outside.

NASA - Entering Saturn's Magnetosphere with a Boom

Back From Vacation

Yes, happy readers, I'm back from our yearly vacation on the distant reaches of Cape Hatteras. Good times.

I'll also point out the nifty new archive menu, courtesy of the helpful folks at Blogger: http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=879.

In Alternate Universe I'm Still Bald

But I'm much thinner.

Today In Alternate History

Backup Your Blog

I am a world class procrastinator, but I eventually get around to taking care of business. It took the closing of weblogs.com for me to get off my butt and backup this online journal (still not comfortable with telling people to "check out my blog").

I'm also starting a new policy of using Blogger's email function to email me each post, which I'll use a handy mail rule to sort into an automatic backup.

Wired News: Thousands of Blogs Fall Silent

I listened to Dave Winer's audio comments and I understand that he is ill and under no obligation to continue. It's too bad he didn't make the decision sooner and allow people to backup their work. But frankly, it's not his fault. They were responsible for their own work as I am for mine. As George Carlin's classic routine tells us "This is your two minute warning. Get your shit together."