Reading: One of the great joys of life

A recent question on ask.metafilter.com asked "how can I learn to read and comprehend faster?".

Lots of people had advice on how to skim and quickly polish off books, but I was dissatisfied with their responses. Here's mine:

First: ignore all the advice on speed reading. If you are reading for enjoyment and retention, it's useless. Go to the Cliff notes for the "gist" of the book.

Here's some tips that I think will help:

1. Remove distractions: don't try to read with the TV on, where there's lots of other people interrupting you, or even listening to vocal music. Do consider reading somewhere private and listen to instrumental music.

2. Let the writer tell you the story. Too many wrestle with trying to figure out what's going on from the very start, then fight with their misconceptions the rest of the way through. Let the story unfold before you.

3. Slow down! You're doing this for pleasure, remember? So, what's the rush? Enjoy what you're reading, savour it. No one has a timer on you. Yes, there are things we need to plow through, but when you read for pleasure, don't feel compelled to gobble it up.

4. Reread a favorite. You'll find that your comprehension a and perhaps your enjoyment will increase with a second or third reading. But don't overdo it. Don't become a freak that reads nothing but "The Lord of the Rings" or "The DaVinci Code" over and over again.

5. Read some plays. Get some scripts of modern plays (not Shakespeare to start with) and read them, but let them be staged in your mind, just as if you were sitting in the audience. This is great practice to transfer to novels.

6. Most important rule: always carry something with you to read. You'll find that if you never leave the house without a book you'll find many times during the day - lunch, long waits, breaks, that you can fill by reading for a bit. You'll be surprised at how quickly you can polish off a novel this way.

7. Become a voracious reader. Don't limit yourself to one type of books. Although you may love mysteries, you might find gold in historical novels, comic books, biographies, popular science, and science fiction. Read widely and deeply. You'll find that more experience with more types of books will increase your vocabulary and your understanding of writing and literature. That will also increase your reading speed.

8. Read aloud for someone. Reading to someone, a child, a significant other, is a surprisingly intimate experience. Yes, it will force you to slow down, but you'll find that it will dramatically and astonishingly increase your comprehension and enjoyment. And yes, it may also help increase your personal reading speed as well.

Reading is one of my great joys and pleasures in life. To read widely is a subversive act. Read everything and you can't help but to grow and change how you look at the world.

And here's another tip: writing is fun, too. Keep a journal, make your own blog. Readers who write have an opportunity to think more about the things they've read, which is also enjoyable.

What am I currently reading? Everything I can get my hands on by or about James Thurber and John McNulty. Do yourself a favor and look up these guys.

And there could be another reason . . .

CNN.com - Toyota boss fears policy backlash if GM, Ford crumble - Jun 8, 2005

I suspect he's right in fearing a backlash, but there is a fundamental reason GM and Ford are having trouble competing with Toyota. Toyota builds significantly better vehicles. Not just a little, A LOT better.

Last year I began shopping for a new vehicle for myself. The last four vehicles had been Fords and had been "good enough". But this time good enough wasn't good enough. I wanted something really comfortable and really reliable. I did my homework, talked to friends, and started test driving. There were no US manufacturers on my test drive list.

When I finally test drove the Lexus RX 330 I was done. It is incredibly well put together and a pleasure to drive. Then I started looking further and discovered how amazingly well they hold their value. Spend a few minutes looking online for one a couple of years old and you'll see what I mean.

GM is just too big. It makes cars we don't really want. It is not innovative. And yes, it has a big problem with it's workforce, which means we the taxpayers will end up taking over it's pension commitments. It's time for GM to get small, get competitive, and start producing vehicles that we the public want.

Downloading Beethoven

If you've not heard about this, take note: The BBC is broadcasting, then providing as downloads, all nine Beethoven symphonies.

BBC - Radio 3 - Beethoven Experience - downloads

I highly recommend them. Even if you're not a fan of classical music, these are excellent recordings and offer a terrific introduction to some incredibly interesting music. And this is your chance to download and keep them for free!

"She wasn’t really a blond."

HIGH FLYER "
On Western Airlines Flight 322, yesterday, a shapely blonde in 2nd class section suddenly stripped nude and paraded down the aisle. When she got to the 1st class section she grabbed several courtesy bottles of Scotch and then sat in row 10, singing and laughing.
She told the crowd of enthusiastically clapping passengers that she had just heard on the radio that she had won a million dollars in the state lottery. A stewardess tried to cover her, but the woman evaded her and raced up and down the aisles for 10 minutes with passengers cheering. Said the stewardess: 'She wasn't really a blond.'"

Of course, if this had happened on a US domestic carrier, the passengers would have quickly subdued and beaten the women to death.

Less Frequent Posting - Still Tastes Great!

Just because I'm not posting here as often doesn't mean I don't still love you. It's me, not you.

I'm using what little mental energy I have to research this play I'm writing. It's coming along very well, thank you.

At least the research is. Today I spent a considerable amount of time trying to find the lyrics to "Bye Bye Blackbird". The full lyrics, not just the chorus that virtually everyone knows. And listening to many different versions.

Why? Layers, man, layers. I'm looking for depth and dimensions to these men I'm writing about and the clues are fascinating. Once again, thank god I'm not writing a scholarly work, but I think I'm getting at something that the biographers and historians, and most especially the literary critics have completely missed. We'll see.

Pack up all my cares and woe . . .

Give in to distraction

My new office is positioned so that all of the voices from the customer service staff out in the cubicle farm is funneled right in. This afternoon the noise started building up, distracting me, so I turned on and turned up my stereo. I keep it turned to 87.9, WOSU, our local classical music station. Some nondescript piano music was playing and that did the trick.

But soon they announced they'd be playing the 'New World' Symphony by Dvorak. It is a piece of such beauty and wonder that I knew it would prove more distracting than the noise from outside my door. As the largo began, I found I could do nothing but close my eyes and feel the deep, heartbreaking music wash over me. Ah! Ah!

From outward appearances I'm a cool and unemotional fellow, but that's only the facade. Oh my, the sweet pain of this new world. What loss, what unimaginable loss?

This music isn't a distraction - it calls me to complete focus, complete attention.

The Hitchhicker's Guide Is Not A PDA

My friend Patrick over at Macinstuff is trying to wean himself from his Palm.

Macinstuff: A Week With My iPod As PDA (Part 1)

I've already done it - it didn't happen on purpose. I just don't use the thing anymore. I was a very early adopter and used my original Palm Pilot for everything. But now, not so much.

I've discovered that I no longer use my trusty (not rusty) old Palm IIIc. It sits on my desk, in its cradle and I sync it But I don't carry it any more.

Of course, I must quote Douglas Adams: "Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small, unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea."

I don't use my iPod as a PDA either. Frankly, I don't use anything to carry around my calendar. But I do have most of my contacts on my phone. I do use a Moleskine notebook, but not for the mundane - that's where all of my research for my current play project is.

You know why I think I don't use my Palm much anymore? I don't want too be that organized. I can see my schedule on my computer screen - that's enough. I don't really get out of the office much, so if you want to meet with me, call me at the office and I'll set up a meeting. Other times, eh.

As to digital watches, another "eh". I'm thinking about getting a pocket watch and start wearing vests.

Evil Idiot of the Month for May: Pat Buchanan

Part of me says, "this goes without comment", but I won't let it go at that.

WorldNetDaily: Was World War II worth it?

Buchanan is a knowing throwback to a part of US history that is largely forgotten. Not many know or recognize how vehemently isolationist this country was. Few want to face exactly how racist and anti-Semitic we were as well. And here we have one of the very few clear cut cases of human evil - Nazism - a victory that should live in pride for all Americans - and Mr. Buchanan claims "it wasn't worth it."

How dare he downplay the evil Germany perpetrated on the world. Does he really think Hitler could have been appeased with just Poland? Does he really think that if Britain had stayed out of the war that Hitler would have contented himself with just invading Russia? [He still wouldn't have beaten Russia. If you think he could have, you haven't read enough history - see what happened to Napoleon.]

We know what would have happened. Given time, all of the Jews and other "undesirables" of Europe would have been quietly eliminated. And you, Mr. Buchanan, would have been OK with that, wouldn't you? Contain Nazi Germany? Are you insane?

It's also too easy to forget just how much the Republicans hate FDR. Bush is now trying to lump him together with Stalin. So you, Mr. Buchanan, think that FDR and Churchill were worse than Hitler? Shame on you.

And for you, dear readers, don't be blinded by this insanity. Read history widely. If you have not read your Barbara Tuchman, do so immediately. The March of Folly* is again upon us.



*Could we please get someone to read this to the current President?

Signs We Wish We'd See

Traveling the roads between here and home I’m bombarded with messages. Why aren’t any of them truly useful, informative, or helpful? Perhaps an occasional apology.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Church Sign Generator

See more progress on: write in my blog everyday

Strange Nostalgia

Yesterday afternoon I had my regular dentist appointment. Kathleen and I have been taking our appointments together for years and I swung by the house around 3:30 P.M. to pick her up and have a quick brush and floss. Dr. Fulton, our family dentist for years, has his office in a very cool 1950's era medical building right beside the Westerville library. It's made of stone and glass with big exposed wood beams - someone was paying attention to Frank Lloyd Wright.

But now the owner of the building has sold it to an engineering firm and the dentist office has to go. By some trick of fate, Kathleen and I were their last patients before they pack up and move. They'll first go to temporary lodgings before moving into a new space, not yet built. Everyone, including the dental hygienist to the receptionist to Dr. Fulton, seemed in no hurry to complete our cleaning and checkup. Each pointed out that I was their last patient. As I shook Dr. Fulton's hand some of their reluctance and sadness rubbed off on me. I've been visiting that interesting and convenient office for 20 years. Not only will it be a new office location, but Kathleen will take separate appointments and before long, be gone herself. Strange how these ordinary events shape and color our lives.

Blogging from the Dashboard

That's right - this blog entry composed using a Dashboard Widget courtesy of Mac OS X 10.4, otherwise know as "Tiger".

Further reports pending.

Taken to Task

The wise, OLDER owl has pointed out, rightfully so, my careless use of the term "elderly".

These ARE the Good Older Days

Quite right. What I should have said was "Many that have lived into their 80s and 90s, when asked, report that their favorite time of life was from 50 to 70."

45

Shortly before his death at the age of 60, John McNulty sent his friend James Thurber a short note. It read: "I think that maybe threescore years and ten is subject to change without notice."

I've been reading a lot lately about a group of men in the first half of the last century. Virtually all of them died in their 50's and 60's. Sobering. Of course, these men worked obsessively hard, smoked continuously, drank like fish, and were without the benefit of modern medicine. Here, on my 45th birthday it gives me pause.

But it's a promising time. I see myself now entering a third stage of life. Childhood is long left behind (but not all childish ways). My years as a custodial parent are about over. And now it's time for what I hope is a long productive and enjoyable portion of life. Many elderly, when asked, report that their favorite time of life was from 50 to 70.

I have great hopes on a long life, longer than the threescore and ten if possible. I want to fill those years with getting to know my children as adults and being an active part of my grandchildren's lives. I want to spend as much time with my wife, traveling and finding new interests together. And I want to purse my personal interests as a writer and playwright.

Should that all be subject to change I have no regrets.

Wrestling with the Mundane

So, we need a new HVAC system. That’s Heating and Air Conditioning system for you civilians. And as I suspected, it’s frighteningly expensive. Mind numbingly so.

Really, really expensive.

But it must be done. So, I’m doing due diligence. I having at least four local contractors give me bids before I select one and open a vein for them.

And of course, I also need a new dishwasher, just replaced a garbage disposal, and I suspect that the gutters need work.

Ain’t owning a home fun?

See more progress on: write in my blog everyday

Wrighting

When I left grad school in 1985 I knew two things: I needed to make a living to support a family and although skilled and trained, I didn't have much to say. I knew I was not mature enough to write to my own satisfaction.

I have, over the past 20 years, written short stories, made a couple of novel attempts (vile stuff), published this blog, and written untold amounts of business and technical writing, let alone all of the marketing and PR stuff.

But now it's time. I've started a new play and am researching and reading in preparation for the first draft. The swirl of ideas is simply thrilling.

What kicked it off? Timing. Time. That long awaited maturity. Will In The World reminded me what it was to be a playwright and sent me back reading Shakespeare with a playwright's eye.

And a subject, an idea. The clear vision that tells me, yes, it will work. Something special that lit up a dark, empty stage in my mind and made me want to know what would happen.

So, if you see infrequent posts from me here, know that I'm intentionally killing the distractions, focusing on the subject, and building this new play.

First Class

I thought I had gotten to the terminal too early, so I paid the chair a dollar for a massage. All of the chairs were empty - four leather recliners looking out of place in the middle of the concourse. A sign announced they were "First Class." So I sat and the chair welcomed me and offered its services. For three minutes I was kneaded while late arrivals walked by on their way to pick up luggage. I let the firm twin balls roll up and down my back while two rather large women closed down the newsstand and gift shop. Though it looked like a recliner, it would not. That would have been too comfortable and too odd at the same time. Being comfortable in public is wrong in some way, I suppose.

Then the chair was done and welcomed me again, so rather than spend another buck, I got up and walked around, bound on one end by the escalators down to baggage claim and the other by dire warnings and pronouncements from the Traffic Security Administration. The elderly and well-fed uniformed agents did not increase my sense of security. And the food court, never very appealing, was closing as well. Port Columbus at 9 PM, a small and uninviting little airport.

I was, of course, standing in the incorrect spot. I missed her and soon found my phone buzzing, but reception was poor and it took several more calls to determine that she was waiting below, bag in hand. I gladly paid the parking attendant two dollars to purchase our escape and was glad to be on our way home.

Scanning for Americans

Yes, it's handy for the friendly crew of the Enterprise to be able to scan for life forms, but I would definitely prefer that terrorists and frankly, any one else NOT be able to scan my pockets for my passport information.

Why Use Remotely-Readable Passports?

But someone will get rich over this. I herby claim the invention of the RFD blocking passport wallet.

Maybe those nuts that cover themselves in tinfoil were on to something.

Evil Idiots of the Month for April: Paramount Television

Simply amazing. Is it just because no one at Paramount knows how to operate a spread sheet?

TrekToday - 'Enterprise' Sets No Longer Up At Paramount

How exactly is it that they don't think a Star Trek series won't make them untold millions of dollars? Even if UPN wants to do programing for young, black, urban females, doesn't ANYONE at Paramount understand that they can make Star Trek for the next hundred years, someone will pay to broadcast it first run (remember, both Next Generation and Deep Space Nine were run in syndication only), then sell DVDs and all of the other stuff the fans will buy.

Just plain stupid.

I'm just a fan. My parents weren't interested in Star Trek during its original run, so as a kid I had to catch it where I could and that wasn't often. I really got hooked starting around age 11, reading the novelizations by James Blish. If forced to classify myself, I'd call myself a fan, but not a Trekker and certainly not a Trekkie. I've never been to a convention, don't participate in online forums, and no, I don't write or read fan fiction. I do enjoy watching the shows and I've gotten a kick out of watching Enterprise with my youngest daughter. She was crushed when she heard it was canceled. Sometimes Paramount forgets that yes, there are hard core fans, but they are only the tip of the iceburg. There are literally millions more that watch and enjoy the series, just like me and Jen.

But now it's in the hands of the suits. They're still trying to figure out how the twist things around to make it a hit TV series. They don't (and frankly can't) understand that it doesn't have to be a hit for them to make LOTS of money. Simply keep it on TV, keep making new episodes, and the fans will watch, the fans will buy.

Little known fact of the day: Lucille Ball herself approved Star Trek for initial production. Yep, Lucy. God bless her.

There once was a Pope from Kentucky

He's got my vote.

Cardinal Randy

FAQ About Dennis For Pope

Back, But Behind

Yes, I too am lax in posting since retuning from family spring vacation last week. Here's a list of future topics:

Working on new play
Cross Country Travel By Car
Why watching Deadwood and travel is good for you
Tired of hearing too much about the Pope and musings on if a person can be truly intelligent, self aware, and a believer (I don't think so)

We now pause

Off with the family for a long anticipated Spring break vacation. I leave the internet in your capable hands until I return.

The Exact Same Thing Happened To Me

Tom Waits on his cherished albums of all time

"14 Passion for Opera Aria (EMI Classics) 1994

I heard 'Nessun Dorma' in the kitchen at Coppola's with Raul Julia one night, and it changed my life, that particular Aria. I had never heard it. He asked me if I had ever heard it, and I said no, and he was like, as if I said I've never had spaghetti and meatballs - 'Oh My God, Oh My God!' - and he grabbed me and he brought me into the jukebox (there was a jukebox in the kitchen) and he put that on and he just kind of left me there. It was like giving a cigar to a five-year old. I turned blue, and I cried."

Upon reading this I instantly reached for my iPod and found Jose Carreras singing this. It is utter bliss.

I don't know - kinda looks like a Pokeman to me

Pet store owner sees Satan's image on turtle's shell

I find that the innate pattern recognition ability that humans possess and works wonders most of the time, may also be one of the root factors in the development of religions.

As I recently wrote Hedwig:

"Here's me going out on a limb: religion might well be a human adaptation "artifact" from our pattern recognition abilities.

A while back we painted our guest restroom with a swirling, multi-color "faux" finish (shades of red, mainly). There at the throne, I see faces. Now I painted the walls myself. I know there are no faces there. And I don't see the same face twice. We see objects we recognize in clouds, in the pile of leaves behind the house, in a stray grill cheese sandwich. All artifacts of this remarkable brain being on alert. And it goes on from there. I think the roots of the supernatural are all there (along with some other adaptations that are useful to us in other ways - and this damn monkey curiosity).

I imagine that if some day we were to meet another intelligent race and some how found a way to communicate (which may be very, very difficult if not outright impossible), and we mentioned our many religious beliefs, they'd reply "what the fuck are you talking about?""

CSI: Shakespeare

Does everything in modern culture find its source in Shakespeare?


WARWICK

Come hither, gracious sovereign, view this body.


KING HENRY VI

That is to see how deep my grave is made; For with his soul fled all my worldly solace, For seeing him I see my life in death.


WARWICK

As surely as my soul intends to live With that dread King that took our state upon him To free us from his father’s wrathful curse, I do believe that violent hands were laid Upon the life of this thrice-famed duke.

SUFFOLK

A dreadful oath, sworn with a solemn tongue! What instance gives Lord Warwick for his vow?


WARWICK

See how the blood is settled in his face. Oft have I seen a timely-parted ghost, Of ashy semblance, meagre, pale and bloodless, Being all descended to the labouring heart; Who, in the conflict that it holds with death, Attracts the same for aidance ‘gainst the enemy; Which with the heart there cools and ne’er returneth To blush and beautify the cheek again. But see, his face is black and full of blood, His eye-balls further out than when he lived, Staring full ghastly like a strangled man; His hair uprear’d, his nostrils stretched with struggling; His hands abroad display’d, as one that grasp’d And tugg’d for life and was by strength subdued: Look, on the sheets his hair you see, is sticking; His well-proportion’d beard made rough and rugged, Like to the summer’s corn by tempest lodged. It cannot be but he was murder’d here; The least of all these signs were probable.


Warrick Brown vs the Earl of Warwick?

Catholic Cardinal Admits The Truth

"'You can find that book everywhere and the risk is that many people who read it believe that those fairy tales are real,' he said. 'I think I have the responsibility to clear things up to unmask the cheap lies contained in books like that.'"

Oh, wait a minute, he's talking about "The Da Vinci Code." I thought he was talking about the Bible.

And the scary part? This guy, until very recently, was the number 2 guy in "The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith".

You might know it better as its popular name, "The Inquisition."

How Wonderfully Odd

You'll recall, dear reader, my writing about bluegrass and Del McCoury
recently. Well, here's something interesting and odd and maybe just
plain freaky that you'll learn only here:

William Gibson listens to Del, too.

At least I'm pretty sure he does.

I recently decided to re-read "Virtual Light" and its two companion
novels (won't call them a trilogy - each work alone, but better
together), "Idoru" and "All Tomorrow's Parties". In ATP one of the
characters is a wiry and weird singer, Buell Creedmore.

And Chevette, another character we know from Virtual Light, is given a
knife she saw made with her protector and father figure, now dead. The
knife is hammered from a drive chain of a 1952 Vincent White Lighting
motorcycle. The chapter she receives it is titled "Vincent White
Lighting."

Knowing nothing more, it's a powerful story. More so when you know
McCoury's music and singing.

Especially this: Vincent Black Lighting

Billy boy, you deep.

The Taste of The Win

Something odd has happened since I began playing poker.

I know success. I know love, recognition, pride. I am intimate with
their opposites as well. But I really didn't know winning. I suppose
it's because I never played sports, team or individual. I've never
been much of a game player - fun, but not challenging. I don't have
the right sort of mind for chess - I'm too visceral and impatient.
There is satisfaction at finishing a puzzle, writing, making something
with my own hands. But winning is different and I never knew.

Success and accomplishment are satisfying, but typically slow to come
and more cerebral in their nature. But with the win, there is a
precise moment in time. It is clear, not only too the winner, but all
observers, who has won and what they have won. It is one of the prime
points that make sport so attractive. It is easier to excel at a sport
than to become good, wise, or accomplished. The young can win, can be
glorified much more easily than they can master a musical instrument,
succeed at a trade, gain intellectual stature.

But this isn't a reason to spurn sport, to turn away from the win.
There's something both purely animal and uniquely human in the win.
First, for a win, there must be a contest, and a contest requires
fairness. All opponents or contestants must be equal in their chances
to win for there to be a contest. A boxing match between unequal
boxers isn't a contest and doesn't produce the same glory as evenly
matched ones does. A sense of fairness has been observed in our
cousins, other primates. It is innate, a built in module for sensing
what is fair. And they, as well as we, seem to understand cheating as
well and will not be observed cheating or stealing, if possible.

When I sit down at the poker table and the first hand is dealt I feel a
rush of adrenaline that sets my body vibrating. For many, this would
be an obstacle. For me, through age and experience, especially my
training in the theater and hundreds of hours on the stage and
performance, it's a benefit. That burst of energy is a welcome friend.
To me it means, "focus, you're on." And it sustains. And also
through my theatrical training, I know how to play the people, not the
cards. I know how to watch and listen and most importantly, think
under pressure. What you're dealt is random and unlike chess, the
outcomes are not fixed for those that can calculate the percentages and
likelihoods. What is important is how predictable is your opponent.
Staying calm, focused, and watching the opponent. It is a pleasurable
time of hyperawareness.

And it may be that poker requires something to be at stake. Even a
small amount of money (and we only play for small pots), make it more
than a pleasant passing of the time if one loses. Frankly, you can't
play poker without something real at stake - the nature of the game
requires the analysis of gain and loss. If it's just markers, why not
go for it? But if that marker represents real, hard currency it
becomes clear that going for it is not always the best.

And then, if I play well and the randomness doesn't overcome me, there
is a moment, a grand moment when I've won. There's nothing like it.

I'm not concerned about being addicted. First, I know my limits, and
for the moment, they are friendly games, played once or twice a month.
There are too many other things I enjoy out of life and sitting playing
cards every night isn't remotely attractive. And there's the balancing
effect of losing, which is as unpleasant as winning is grand. But the
real chance of losing must be there to make winning sweet. Knowing how
to lose, what to learn from it, keeping balanced in the face of the
loss, is equally valuable.

Winning is better.

Clear Thinking

If you are at all interested in the current battle of us those who want to control our behavior (and charge us for it), here's an excellent article from Adam Engst at TidBITS.com TidBITS: Why DRM Offends the Sensibilities.

Completed step one

Well, over the weekend I managed to sort through most of my music files. I found album art for most, which is cool.

Still left to do:

1. Review CDs and make sure everything is ripped in
2. Find a way to organize all of the “singles”
3. Back the damn thing up.

As of this telling, I have 30 gigabytes of music, over 7,000 tracks – 21 DAYS of solid music.

See more progress on: organize my music collection

You'll take it the way we give it to you, and you'll like it!

Yet one more columnist that has bought the party line from the music industry.

"Seems to me that one thing the shuffle movement does prove is the average music fan's preference for the song over its traditional home. The shuffle option is essentially killing the album, which has long been the music-industry standard for popular music releases."

First of all, there are very few artists that have delivered an entire album worth listening to in exactly the order it was delivered. And if you're talking pop, you're lucky to get more than one or two decent tracks in the whole thing. Then we get to the whole part of calling your typical pop musician an "artist".

Now I'll admit, I'm not your average music purchaser. There's no way I can put my new 60 gig iPod into shuffle mode. I have over 30 gig of music on there - almost a solid month of listening. And shuffle would produce a shocking mix of jazz, classical, bluegrass, pop and rock, even ambient and electronica. When I buy music, it's either something specific - an individual track, or an entire album of classical, which typically represents a cohesive work, like a symphony or opera. I'd buy a hell of a lot more music, but what I want isn't easily available. And no, I don't want the whole album, thank you very much.

I do have a large collection, thanks in part to a friend that has complied what the people here at work call "The history of rock" - one of the ultimate mix tapes. Of course, it's neither a mix or a tape, but you know what I mean. But think of a top 40 song from the past 50 years and more likely than not, it's on my iPod.

Which is part of the reason I've named the new iPod "LOC".

Hedwig will know what that stands for.

Wither The Safety Net?

The Owl and Every Fool has posted today on Social Security, so I suppose I should join in as well!

The Owl's Perch - You Bet Your Life

Privatization of the fund is a horrible idea. Hedwig is dead right - most will lose - the rich and powerful will get richer.

And the most important part: it disconnects the individual from our shared destiny. The entire idea of "it's my money" is flawed and a serious rearrangement of society. The entire purpose of Social Security is to provide a basic level of support for all. The entire notion of the safety net is this: we as a society won't let anyone live in poverty. OK, so it doesn't work as well as we intended, but that doesn't mean it's fundamentally broken. Private accounts will break it.

I'm in favor of the following reforms:

1. Pay back the fund. The government has balanced its books too long on the SS surplus. Time to pay EVERY PENNY BACK. Yes, that may require raising taxes, but it's a debt, so pay it back.

2. Lock box the fund - stop borrowing it. Period.

3. Limit who can receive benefits. This is a tough one, but again, key to the idea of the safety net: if you make over $100,000 per year, you get nothing. You don't need it. I've planned my retirement without Social Security. If my plans work out and I have a comfortable retirement income, I plan on donating the benefit I receive. Think of it more like insurance than a retirement fund. It's there if you need it, but if you don't need it, good for you.

4. Increase the base benefits. If you make less than $40,000 a year you'll receive benefits to take you to $40,000 - which is a livable income. Benefits will be tied to the rate of inflation and current wage numbers so the purchasing power remains the same.

Give me leaders that can make the case - we need to care for every American. Social Security is part of the way we do that. If I personally don't need it, great. It's not welfare, it's part of our commitment to our fellow Americans.

Ah, There Still Are Heros

LLOYD AXWORTHY's open letter to Condoleeza Rice "As our erstwhile Prairie-born and bred (and therefore prudent) finance minister pointed out in presenting his recent budget, we've had eight years of balanced or surplus financial accounts. If we're going to spend money, Mr. Goodale added, it will be on day-care and health programs, and even on more foreign aid and improved defence."

Thanks to Boing Boing!

The Writer As hero

Hedwig pointed me to this: He was blacklisted in a national witch hunt. Yet writer Dalton Trumbo never lost his integrity.

We live in an age where it is said, "there are no heros and perhaps there never were." And yet, look at this man, Dalton Trumbo. Here's a man that stood up to tyranny, suffered the loss of his profession, even went to prison. And then he continued to work, hidden, behind the scenes. Here's your hero.

We need more Trumbos now. We need individuals that will stand up to the FCC and say, "Fuck you." We need heros that will tell the truth to power and not back down. We need a real press, unafraid to lose their White House credentials. We need quiet, powerful men and women that won't be shouted down, won't be silenced, won't go away.

We need people to proudly reclaim the title "liberal".

I'd love to see Dennehy's performance. I hope it finds its way to New York and the recognition that it needs.

Haunted by a bluegrass band

Last night I met the UPS man at the door to collect my new 60 gig iPod Photo. I hooked it up last night and now can carry my entire music collection, all of my digital photos, and all of my documents and STILL have 20 gigabytes left. I’m sure I’ll figure out how to fill it up soon.

And what’s the first thing I’m listening to this morning? Del McCoury And The Boys

I don’t really listen to that much bluegrass or frankly, know anything about it, but there’s something fascinating about it. A couple of years back at the height of the “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” craze I took the girls to the “Down From the Mountain” concert. Dell and the Boys played as one of the many terrific acts and sang, “All Aboard”. The song is a ghost story, gospel religious experience, and downright frightening and thrilling. It’s not available on iTunes, but go look for this album. There’s a wide mix of stuff there, all with a bluegrass treatment.

See more progress on: organize my music collection

Part I Henry VI

It begins. Yesterday at lunch I found myself alone, my lunch meeting canceled. Luckily, I try to keep one rule in my life: never leave the house without something to read. I had place the new, portable “Complete Works of William Shakespeare” in the side pocket of the door of my car – couldn’t do that with my well worn, but gigantic Riverside Shakespeare.

So, sitting at Bob Evans, eating a bowl of potato soup, I read Act I of Henry VI, Part I. Sword fights, sieges, cannon fire, funerals of kings, even Joan of Arc! Will sure knew how to kick off a show!

See more progress on: read all of Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets in chronological order

Not enough time

That's the answer to the question below.

"Why haven't other rodents evolved the ability to aviate?"

Just not enough time. Look at the time frames for the evolution of birds. Took a hell of a long time, a long, long time ago. Mammals are much more recent. They just haven't had time. Our (Homo Sapien's) ability to observe such a change is pitifully short.

Here's my thesis: more mammals will develop flying abilities. Let's leave the planet - everyone. OK, come back in, let's say 100 million years. My bet is that you'll find plenty of flying mammals. Lot's of little annoying ones. And a few, big, scary ones.

First, flying squirrels develop from gliding to true flight. If they're successful, they'd multiply greatly. Next, you'd have a predator that would take to the air after them, let's say a fox variety. Other, fast breeding species like rabbits might find it useful to get off the ground, which would bring bigger predators along with them, say bobcats or coyotes. But the birds won't give up their dominion very easily. There are a bunch of very effective preditor birds that would just love to find the air full of flying furballs.

But you know what might be more likely? If humanity abandoned the planet for that long, I'm betting another hominid species might just step up and take our place.

On second thought, at the end of the 100 million years, let's send Charlton Heston back first to check and see how things are going.

I'd like to thank the Academy . . .

I saw a bit of the Academy Awards presentation last night - I didn't get back from Jennifer's skating lesson till nearly a quarter to 10 (Sunday night skating lessons suck, BTW). I quickly caught up with the award count and have the following observations:

Someone has finally gotten control of the excesses and really worked out some fair and efficient means of moving things along. I thought having nominees for many of the awards already on stage really helped. I liked less the "give it to them in their seats" bit. Should for any bizarre reason I find myself nominated for such an award, I want up on the stage.

I also noted that I have seen less of the movies nominated for this past year than seems in years past, and more than a couple I saw only because they were already released on DVD. I only saw "Million Dollar Baby" Saturday night. It was an excellent film, but I've yet to see "The Aviator" or "Vera Drake" or "Finding Neverland" or "Being Julia". Haven't seen "Hotel Rwanda", "Motorcycle Diaries", "The Very Long Engagement". I haven't seen the Lemony Snicket mess of a movie and hope not to. And you'd have to pay me and pay me well to see "The Passion of the Christ."

I did see "Ray" and it's a fine biopic with and excellent performance by Foxx.

And my favorite movie of the year? "The Incredibles."

Get Out While You Have A Chance

If you are currently holding any type of variable rate mortgage or interest payment, get out now. Don't wait or you'll be seriously screwed.

Opinion: "When a country lives on borrowed time, borrowed money and borrowed energy, it is just begging the markets to discipline it in their own way at their own time. As I said, usually the markets do it in an orderly way - except when they don't."

I'm serious about this. No variable rate mortgates or balloon payments. No credit card debt. Do anything you can to take care of this now - don't wait, I mean in the next few weeks and months.

Could you handle it if your mortgage payment shot up three or four hundred dollars a month? What about your credit card payments, your car loan?

Higher interest rates would be good for me, but not for most people. What if your home loan was at 18%? It's not been that many years ago that they were that high.

Listen. The sky is falling. Seriously. I don't know who reads this stuff, but it's important.

Oh, and for your reading pleasure and edification, see The Black Obelisk.

Flush or Pack It Out

There are many reasons I consider myself to luckily to be in a committed, monogamous relationship. Here's one more:

'She asserts that when plaintiff 'delivered' his sperm, it was a gift -- an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee,' the decision said. 'There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request.'

And one more reason that both men and women need to take complete responsibility of their sexuality. This guy thought he was and found out he was wrong.

Here's the rule for all you single guys or those with multiple parthers - and it's got to be absolute: No sex without a condom. That includes oral sex. Unless you are in a committed, long term relationship AND after blood tests.

Oh, and you must either flush the used comdom or take it with you. (what's the emoticon for a shudder?)

It Is Inadvisable To Blog While Sleeping

Last night, at some, semi-lucid point, I spent some time composing today's blog entry. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to have been posted and I can't remember what I was dream-writing about. Seemed brilliant at the time.

Guess the folks at Blogger.com need to work on that interface a bit more.

Tonight's another "kid concert." You know the kind: one of those school concerts where you kid plays and you've got to go. Both of my girls are musically talented, and I enjoy hearing them play, but we seem to get on these runs where they all bunch together. Last week Jennifer had a "Drama Kids" performance on Tuesday night and a middle school concert Thursday. She had a skating competition on Saturday which meant we had to leave the house before 6 AM. Sunday Kathleen had a Columbus Youth Jazz concert, followed by a full concert by the Columbus Jazz Orchestra. It's always enjoyable, but that eats up an entire Sunday afternoon. Tonight Kathleen has a high school orchestra concert in preparation for the state orchestra competition tomorrow night (which I will not be attending). This concert by itself would be enjoyable, but the director decided the concert would be too short, so he changed it at the last minute to combine with another middle school concert. That's right, I get to sit through another middle school concert, one where I don't have any kids in it. Do you think it would be rude to take my iPod?

Oh, and another concert Sunday afternoon - this one for the Columbus Symphony Youth Orchestra.

As You Like It

I hadn’t intended on starting my little Shakespeare chronologically project quite yet, but my daughter asked me to read the play to help her with her homework. It had been years, probably since grad school, so I said sure.

Lovely.

We spent some time talking about the play when she was doing her assignment and one of the questions was about the use of language because, the test writer asserted, that the play was so “talky” and nothing happened.

Excuse me? God save us from English teachers! No wonder why so many kids end up thinking that these plays are boring. If I were the king of the forest, I’d insist that any play, before it is read, must be SEEN. And not read in class with students sitting and reading the parts. Performed. By someone that knows what they are doing.
Why is the character of Jaques humorous? Hard to tell just reading the words. But Jaques is a type. He’s a melancholic. And he’s played to the hilt. Everyone knows the second he walks on stage exactly what he’s like. But Shakespeare takes him up a level or so. He isn’t just this one thing. And he gets a brilliant speech that shows us exactly that. “All the world’s a stage.”

This play, read, without knowing anything about how it is to be performed, is a trifle. But imagine it, fully realized, wonderful costumes, dancing, singing! See the wrestling match as a huge opportunity for physical comedy (unstead of one line They wrestle.) Think of the shepherds and clowns, country bumpkins, general silliness. It is a complete hoot.
And remember, you, standing in the pit, a groundling, are also in on the joke. A boy, playing a girl, pretending to be a boy, asking her lover to pretend she, he thinking her a boy, is actually a girl, having another girl fall in love with her.
How do we know it is funny? Not from reading alone, dear teacher. We know because the actors show us. Taking nothing from Shakespeare – he knew it well – the play’s the thing.

See more progress on: read all of Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets

Battling Evil Elephants

So, what were they up to all those years?

Humans just got 35,000 years older
: "'It pushes back the beginning of anatomically modern humans. It is significant because the cultural aspects of humanity in most cases appear much later in the record - only 50,000 years ago - which would mean 150,000 years of Homo sapiens without cultural stuff, such as evidence of eating fish, of harpoons, anything to do with music, needles, even tools. This stuff all comes in very late, except for stone knife blades, which appeared between 50,000 and 200,000 years ago,' says geologist Frank Brown, a co- author of the study and dean of the University of Utah's College of Mines and Earth Sciences.
"

Let's imagine for a moment, shall we? If anatomically identical humans existed 200,000 years ago, did it really take them 150,000 years to take that first step towards civilization and away from pure animal existence? I find that hard (but not impossible) to believe. What were they up to?

I've always wondered why they killed off all the mastodons (took them till about 10,000 years ago). Maybe humanity spent 190,000 years battling a race of evil, furry elephants. Maybe they weren't the lumbering, gentle giants that could just be herded off a nearby cliff (bad news if you're in Ohio - not many cliffs nearby). Maybe they were vicious, intelligent, and hated these new ape creatures. Maybe humanity's greatest triumph is something we've never heard about.

Perhaps we should think about that before cloning any of them back.

Or maybe I should have another cup of coffee.

All In

OK, I admit it. I've caught the poker bug, too.

But I haven't completely gone around the bend like some of my friends and acquaintances. In fact, for me it might be a healthy hobby.

Self justification, you say? On the contrary. I find the game fun, easy to learn, difficult to master. It is a social activity. I've gone to great extremes to build a movie theater in my home, but even when I entertain there, it's sitting quietly in the same room - hardly social. Playing poker is by its very nature an activity where you must pay close attention to everyone at the table, even learn something about the people there. Or lose.

An evening's play may cost me $20 or so, or put money in my pocket. I'm not interested in big tournament play, although I did enjoy playing in Vegas recently (where I played Texas Hold'em for over 2 hours and walked away even money). And since I've started playing - just this year, I'm already meeting new people and getting invited out.

This may seem strange and ordinary to you, but for me, it's a big deal. I'm reaching the stage as a parent where the kids are interested in being on their own. For the last 16 years Diane and I have had little time for anything other than work and family and that means very few friends and next to no social life outside of the rare opportunity to get out on our own. So having fun with friends, getting invited out, having people over to the house is not only fun, but rewarding.

Mesmerizing Coolness

Just plain cool. The Baby Name Wizard's NameVoyager

But it raises more questions than it answers. The main question that cannot be answered with the marvelous display of data is "why?". Why does a particular name grow or decline in popularity. What causes these peaks and falloffs?

Teach Evolution: Leave No Child Behind

Teach Evolution: Leave No Child Behind: "Teaching the age and history of our planet takes us back about 4.6 billion years; it is included in only 55% of our 50 State’s science education standards."

It's sad, but not surprising.

Strong science education with real standards is critical to growing an educated population capable of thinking and understanding complex ideas.

Oh, wait. You didn't want that? Bread and circuses, baby!

OK, taking a deep breath.

Here are the fundamentals that EVERY person should know:

1. The universe is roughly 13 billion years old.
   
2. The Earth is about 4.6 billion years old.
   
3. The process in which life was created and arrived at the state it is in today is know as evolution.
   
4. There's lots of stuff we don't know or understand. The scientific method is how we find out.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Not So Smart Water

Schneier on Security: Smart Water: "The idea is for me to paint this stuff on my valuables as proof of ownership. I think a better idea would be for me to paint it on your valuables, and then call the police."

Everyday, in every way, I'm getting better and better

Hmm, just keep repeating that.

Now, where's that damn Clouseau gotten off to?

See more progress on: write in my blog everyday

Books You Should Read

If you haven't yet discovered Neal Stephenson, then it's time you considered adding his work to your reading list. I was gobsmacked by his Baroque Cycle.

And from this interview, you can tell this man has a keen, honest intelligence.

Reason: Neal Stephenson’s Past,
Present, and Future: The author of the widely praised Baroque Cycle on science, markets, and post-9/11 America : "Reason: In The Baroque Cycle we see two different kinds of nation-states at war with each other: traditional monarchies vs. the modern mercantile state. Some readers see political themes in Snow Crash, The Diamond Age, and Cryptonomicon—e.g., that traditional governmental institutions have collapsed or mutated into some less central form. Is this something you see as inevitable?

Neal Stephenson: I can understand that if you are the sort of person who spends a lot of time thinking about government and commerce, then by reading Snow Crash, The Diamond Age, Cryptonomicon, and The Baroque Cycle through that lens, and by squinting, holding the books at funny angles, and jiggling them around, you might be able to perceive some sort of common theme. But it is a stretch. The themes you mention are so vast and so common to all societies and periods of history that I would find it difficult to write a novel that did not touch on them in some way."

Good Idea, Flawed Approach

There's a move in the online music sales arena to try to convince people that subscriptions sales of music is the way to go.

It's not a bad idea, but the time for this market may be too early. Why? Because people love the iPod, want the iPod, already OWN an iPod. And if you have an iPod, you use the iTunes music store.

USATODAY.com - Napster aims to sack Apple iTunes

So for Napster and others to succeed, they have to both convince you that you should rent your music AND that you should throw away your beloved iPod AND buy another, clunky, ugly music player.

I don't think it will work. Before the iPod, before iTunes music store, I used to pay $9.95 per month to emusic.com. At that time they let me download and keep all of the music I wanted. They had pretty good libraries of jazz and classical, which I loved, and next to no pop, which was fine with me. I really built up my library during that year or so I subscribed. Then they changed their mind, limited the number of songs I could download, and I dropped them.

I don't buy a lot of music, but over the years I've acquired plenty. Legally, mind you. Bought it. My iTunes library is nearly 30 gigabytes and I haven't ripped all of my CDs into it, let alone converted some holdover vinyl records. My aging, 5 gig original iPod is still chugging along - I'd love to have a new 60 gig Photo iPod, but can't justify it just now. So I have plenty of music. Most people do. I'd consider a subscription service, but what I really want is an easy way to buy music, inexpensively, one song or album at a time.

Oh, I can already do that? Right, iTunes has that covered. And there's no fucking way I'm giving up my iPod. So where does that leave Napster? Right where most internet companies that buy Superbowl ads. In next year's "What every happened to?" news paper columns.

Let's Go Out To The Lobby

Hedwig, the wise old owl, sends this New Yorker Article to my attention:

The New Yorker: The Critics: A Critic At Large: "And what is the main cinematic experience? The tickets, including the surcharge for ordering online, cost about the same as the monthly cable bill. A medium popcorn is five dollars; the smallest bottled water is three. The show begins with twenty minutes of commercials, spots promoting the theatre chain, and previews for movies coming out next Memorial Day, sometimes a year from next Memorial Day. The feature includes any combination of the following: wizards; slinky women of few words; men of few words who can expertly drive anything, spectacularly wreck anything, and leap safely from the top of anything; characters from comic books, sixth-grade world-history textbooks, or “Bulfinch’s Mythology”; explosions; phenomena unknown to science; a computer whiz with attitude; a brand-name soft drink, running shoe, or candy bar; an incarnation of pure evil; more explosions; and the voice of Robin Williams. The movie feels about twenty minutes too long; the reviews are mixed; nobody really loves it; and it grosses several hundred million dollars.
"

Ah, the movies!

One fun fact this article points out is the drop in movie attendance. In 1946 one hundred million people attended the movies EVERY WEEK. Out of a total population of on hundred forty-one million. Today that's down to twenty-five million weekly attendance out of a population of nearly three hundred million. Interesting, but not the whole story. In 1946 the movies were the only forum of mass entertainment. TV wasn't available. An inexpensive afternoon or evening at the movies provided a whole range of news and entertainment. And least we forget, these were massive, single screen theaters, not the pocket theaters we're packed into today. Newsreels, cartoons, short subjects, and double features. Now that sounds like fun.

But today we have TV, we have cable with movies on demand. We have DVDs. The movie industry isn't in any danger of perishing. It's simply changing.

And the big secret that the Hollywood big wigs don't know and can't understand: there are untold billions of dollars available to them if they'd only put their entire movie libraries online.

Imagine this: for a small, reasonable monthly fee, let's say $19.95, you could watch any movie ever made.

I have to stop there - the idea is staggering to me. Of course you'd pay that. Everyone would pay that. Christ.

Or let's make it more interesting - no monthly fee, but a charge of ninety-nine cents per movie. They'd be making money on movies that haven't made money in a hundred years. And if the price is low enough, who would bother to pirate? The quality would be guaranteed. You want to talk about a golden age of Hollywood, open the floodgates.

Evil Idiots of the Month for February: Sinclair Broadcasting

This month's award for the Evil Idiots of the Month goes to the clever folks at Sinclair Broadcasting.

At first, this might seem like completely political post, but their actions in last year's presidential election only got them as far as the nomination for this illustrious award. What really stuck in my craw was their greedy and stupid behavior that results in me not being able to watch Lost in high definition. Or the Super Bowl.

In the Columbus market, Sinclair owns both the ABC and Fox affiliates. I'm strongly opposed to companies owning multiple stations in a market this size (and the includes the evil, but not so idiotic Clear Channel). They've exercised their ownership to really gut these stations and take a race to the bottom. In fact, they've recently announced that they're eliminating sports reporting from their news operations. I'm not a sports fan, but reporting on local sports is part of the responsibility of local broadcasters. And they're holding TV watchers hostage over high definition - HDTV.

I subscribe to cable - it's the best way for me to get the programs I want. Satellite would require me to put a box on each of my TVs. With cable, all but one gets cable right to the set and works fine. The theater gets the full digital box, which now includes high definition capabilities, dual tuners, and a DVR (Digital Video Recorder). It's a crude, very difficult to use box and the worst interface possible, but it's HD and dual tuner, so the TiVO gets demoted.

And with this setup I get all of the local channels plus several others in HD - DiscoveryHD and PBS HD has some amazing and beautiful programming. The programs we like to watch, including Law and Order are gorgeous in HD. CBS, NBC, PBS, TNT, UPN - all in HD.

But not ABC and not FOX. Frankly, there's only one program on either that we watch that's in HD and that's Lost. I would really enjoy watching this show, shot in Hawaii of all places, in high definition. But Sinclair says no. Why? Because they, unlike all of the other broadcasters in this market and all of the other US markets insists that cable operators pay them for FREE OVER THE AIR PROGRAMMING.

I do have an alternative. I could go out an buy an HD receiver. I could then buy an antenna. That's right, a freak'n antenna. And after all that, if I'm lucky, I might be able to pick up the HD broadcast signal.

No way.

My perspective is this: Sinclair has been granted TWO broadcast licenses in this market by the federal government. They make money by charging advertisers and provide their content free of charge to viewers. Cable operators earn money by providing clean signal to my house and value added content - things not available to me over the air in my market. As a convenience to me, they also deliver the local stations, which are, as I've stated, freely available. But Sinclair wants to be paid. Now one else is paid. They're happy to have their programs available to customers and their advertisers are happy to have their advertisements displayed.

What's a guy to do? Well I for one will avoid Sinclair's programming for the most part. I'll watch Lost, and when it comes out on DVD I'll buy that - from ABC. And I'll make a point of letting people that advertise on Sinclair's local stations know that others like me are not watching.

So, you've spent millions creating that ad and more to buy the time to air it at the Superbowl. How's it feel to find out that the top purchasing market - all the guys the bought high definition TVs, aren't able to see your ads? And after the football game, they're switching to something that they can watch?

This rant is definitely NOT over.

In a round about way

This article in Today's Salon, purportedly about the resurgence of the Macintosh computer, almost, but not quite gets to some of the market issues that keep the computer industry from stepping to the next level.

"There's a poison in the computer industry,' Hertzfeld says, 'and that is the fact that the common software base is controlled by a predatory software company with a lack of ethics."

This quote, from Andy Hertzfeld gets right down to it. It's simple, really. Bill Gates is today's robber baron. He has used is business acumen, not technological prowess, to beat the market into profits for Microsoft and limited opportunity for everything else. Microsoft is a bad company and the market simply can't move forward until it's broken up by regulation or overcome by market forces.

And Microsoft has helped perpetuate the mindset that computers are technical instruments that require a high degree of specialized knowledge. Recently I was in an airport when I struck up a conversation with a fellow traveler when it was clear that we were heading to the same conference. His companion was crowing that he had hacked through the airport's feeble security to use their for-fee wireless network. When I pointed out that it wasn't that big of a deal - there were few people that could do it and the effort to lock it down probably wasn't worth the expense he scoffed, then claimed, "Most people shouldn't be allowed to even own computers. If I had my way, they'd have to pass a rigorous test before they could even touch one!"

At which point, I went back to ignoring him.

I hold the exact opposite view. If you have to possess virtually ANY specialized knowledge, then something is wrong with the device.

What most computer users forget is that the vast majority of the population do not own and have never touched a computer. They're expensive and don't have clear benefits. And they're confusing, frightening, and probably dangerous. And they'll break down or become unusable.

Apple is on the right path, even if the Mac isn't perfect. But I challenge you this: Pick out a relative over the age of 60 who has never used a computer. Find one that is active and might like to communicate with you and others more easily. One with active hobbies and an interest in learning. Maybe one with an interest in music or movies. Someone that's been talking about getting a digital camera. Now you're this person's contact - if something goes wrong, they'll be calling you. How much time and expense is it going to cost to set them up with a conventional PC and make it work with their new camera, printer, and the web? And how long before it becomes completely unusable from spyware and virus?

Or you have them buy a new, Mac mini for less than $500. They plug it in and are doing all of these things all on their own. It just works.

Of course you're elderly friend won't become a computer expert, but then again, why would they want to be?

If you don't know me by now

Doc Serls has some excellent perspective on age, accomplishment, and reflection, all in this one little sentence.

The Doc Searls Weblog : Thursday, January 27, 2005: "Kinda reminds me of a conversation I had several years ago with Cam, when he was 30. I'll tell Sean now what I told Cam back then: Everything you know me for I've done since I was 50."

And before my commentary, I'll add that I was pleased to finally meet Doc when he stopped by my company's booth at Macworld (hope he's got his palm syncing problem solved!).

In his comment to a person named Cam, he says "everything you know me for". I believe it takes a lot of mental processing to realize that though there are many people that "know" us, but each knows a different person. I'm particularly cognizant of this. My like has been one of continually moving forward and there are few people, friends, that have followed the path with me.

A close friend in high school, Bruce (seen the movie "Napoleon Dynamite"? I was Pedro to his Napoleon) parted ways after graduation. I chat occasionally with him over the net and he chastised me for not attending our 25th High School reunion. I didn't have any real desire to make the trip, other to see Bruce and a few others. The Randy that they all knew is long gone. He was best known for singing and a leader in the marching band. He didn't date and was very shy around girls.

I've all but lost touch with Bill, perhaps my closest childhood friend and college roommate. We also went to the same grad school, but me for theater and him for law school. Together we were promising youth leaders in the church. He still is, but I'm no longer a believer. And I also took all my theatrical training and went straight into business - specifically the software market.

Some people know me from when I was at Bell Labs and fresh out of school. Others know me from eight years at one job, now ten years past. Some know me from my five years as an internet entrepenuer. Some know me from the current job, now five years and running. You may know me from this online journal and others from my home theater hobby.

So yes, for all the Cam's out there - what you know me for is dependent on WHEN you knew me. And at 30, you didn't know me and you sure has hell didn't know yourself. Reflection is good, but don't spend to much time on it while you're so young.

Free Porn Magic for You!

For the most part, I find John Dvorak a blowhard - a columnist that thinks that poking a chained dog with a stick is fun.

But he may be onto something here.

Opinion Column from PC Magazine: Free Porn Magic for You!

I suspect he's right on all counts, and I'll be watching the logs on this web site for evidence.

But I'll do you one better. His article has no sex in it at all. I'll give you the secrets of sex and happiness, all for the low price of only $19.95!

That's right, send Captain Randy your personal check (sorry, PayPal not accepted) for $19.95 and I will revel to you the secrets of:

Finding the perfect mate.
Getting all the sex you want.
What women really want and how to give it to them or what men want and how to make them your slave for life
Your purpose in life and amazing the truth about the universe.

And as an added bonus, how to get real Rolex watches for a fraction of the cost!

For an additional $4.95 I'll also tell you how to be the Apple iPod for free!

But it's a limited time offer - act now!



* Secrets of the universe, although startling, are also available through a lifetime of study and meditation. Or for only $19.95 they can be yours! Sorry, no refunds or exchanges. Karma can neither be bought or sold, only apportioned by the universe.

I Don't Know What This Is

But it's just too cool to pass up.

muppetsovertime05

Did I ever mention how upset I am, STILL, at Jim Henson? He had no right to die when he did. I feel robbed of all the wonderful stories he could have told.

This is why Portland is an interesting place to live

Columbus, Ohio is the type of place one lives, but never vacations. It's an economic haven, a good place to live and raise a family, but scant little else to recommend it.

Now Portland. They have Voodooo Doughnut.

Thief learns lesson in do's and doughnuts

Things Worth Believing In

Now here's a list of things that have merit believing in.

THE WORLD QUESTION CENTER 2005

But then again, these are scientists (for the most part). So if you prove their beliefs incorrect, they'll thank you for it.

Shore Leave

I'm taking a brief break to enjoy the holidays with my family. Back soon!

Apparently, watching the movie was too much trouble.

Ah, another idiot that didn't bother to do basic research:

Giant robots in the backyard | CNET News.com: "It's been a common theme in U.S. science fiction, too, although typically on a more human scale. Robert Heinlein's 1959 novel 'Starship Troopers,' and the 1997 film made from the book, featured soldiers with powerful exoskeletal armor that dramatically augmented their strength."

No, the movie didn't have soldiers in exoskeletons. It was a big letdown for what was an otherwise rollicking B grade scifi yarn.

I sometimes wonder where they find these writers.

Hal. Open the voting booth curtain, Hal.

The Diebold Variations

Evidence Of The Existance Of Evil

I grew up in rural Illinois and I remember when the first Wal-mart arrived in the middle 70's. It was something of a cultural event. A Saturday night out included a trip to Wal-mart.

But I've never liked the place. Unlike Target which is clean, well lit, has wide isles and inexpensive and attractive merchandise, Wal-mart is crowded and often dirty with jumbled shelves. It feels like a trip to the State fair.

Down and Out in Discount America: "Al Zack, who until his retirement in 2004 was the United Food and Commercial Workers' vice president for strategic programs, observes that appealing to the poor was 'Sam Walton's real genius. He figured out how to make money off of poverty. He located his first stores in poor rural areas and discovered a real market. The only problem with the business model is that it really needs to create more poverty to grow.' That problem is cleverly solved by creating more bad jobs worldwide."

One has to spend a few years in corporate America to learn that there can be good companies, but there can also be truly bad ones, ones with evil intent. In a past job I had touches with both corporate operations at Enron and Wal-mart. Both, it was clear even 10 years ago, had bad intent. They were not a good partners for anyone. Both planned their business to drive all of the positive benefits to themselves and gloried in crushing other businesses. One has reaped the whirlwind. The other is still going to and fro in the world.

The community where I live has fought them off, but it was a protracted legal battle. The only thing that can stop their downward crush on the minimum wage worker is to unionize their workforce. Make them compete on a level playing ground.

Ah!

William Gibson: "And then there are those episodes of history that unravel with the breathtaking and utterly unexpected abruptness of a cashmere miniskirt catching on a chainlink fence... "

So nice.

The Things One Learns

What one misses when one is raised in a barn!

SERVING & STORING PORT @ Into Wine: "Another tradition provides for, in the event that the decanter does not come full circle, back to the host, a proper means of getting it there. As it is bad 'port-iquette' to ask directly for the decanter, the host instead is to ask the individual closest to the decanter, if he knows the bishop of Norwich or other village in England. The question is not meant to get an answer but action – namely the immediate passing of the port. If however, the unfortunate offender should answer the question by saying 'No,' he should be told that 'the bishop is an awfully good fellow, but he never passes the port!' "

That's Twice

Come on, Bruce. You're a smart guy. Surely there's a FedEX office right around the corner.

Too bad you can't take these on planes

Or simply pack up 400 or so of them and check them. Or haven't you been watching Lost?

Exactly How Much Is This Costing Us?

CNN.com - U.S. missile defense test fails - Dec 15, 2004: "A target missile carrying a mock warhead was successfully launched as scheduled from Kodiak, Alaska, at 12:45 a.m. EST, in the first launch of a target missile from Kodiak in support of a full flight test of the system.

However, the agency said the ground-based interceptor 'experienced an anomaly shortly before it was to be launched' from the Ronald Reagan Test Site at Kwajalein Atoll in the central Pacific Ocean 16 minutes after the target missile left Alaska.

An announcement said the interceptor experienced an automatic shutdown 'due to an unknown anomaly.'"

Christ.

Missile defense is a pipe dream. It simply can't be done. And more simply, if it could be done missiles are one of the last things we have to defend against. How exactly is a missile defense system going to protect us against a U-haul truck packed with fertilizer and nuclear medical waste?

Yes, a nuclear weapon on a missile is a really bad thing. So spend the billions making sure none are pointed at us.

You might as well be white.

Emil Guillermo nailed this one. He caught my interest by talking about his 16 year old daughter - something I hold in common with him. But he does so much more with this column. The title of the post is a striking line from the article, a cause to take a moment and contemplate. I, like him, do not consider myself conservative. Mostly.

The Good Kind Of Conservative"At that point, my personal conservatism shows its limits. It's too selfish, and not broad enough for society at large. If you want justice, fairness and equality for all in an America that is diverse in race and thought, conservatism doesn't move fast enough. We need more yeses. There are too many nos."

Last night I went with Kathleen down to the Columbus Music Hall, a somewhat renovated (let's say converted) Edwardian firehouse, where every Monday night Vaughn Weister leads his Famous Jazz Orchestra through three sets of big band magic. Kathleen goes there every Monday and Vaughn graciously invites her up to play string bass for a few numbers. Last night it was snowing, so I used it as an excuse to tag along. I couldn't be prouder.

She's beautiful and talented and talking about making a run at getting in to Juliard. I have no idea if she has what it takes, but I support her in trying. I must admit I'm a little nervous at the prospect of her moving to New York and immersing herself into the Jazz scene, but I know there will be some terrific people there to look out for her if she can make it.

But she's still 16 and that means sometimes I have to be aggressively conservative. I don't like her dating and so far she hasn't. I am vocally opposed to a "friend" who is a college freshman that stays in frequent contact. Nice kid, but a college boy has no business around my high school junior daughter. You want to see how quickly I switch from my support for global pacifism to direct and violent intervention then keep heading down that path, mister.

My younger one turns 12 on Friday and has been chafing for months at our rule that she had to wait for her birthday to get her ears pierced. When both turn 18 they have my blessings and their conduct is none of my business. I wish them to be happy and healthy and near to me as possible so I can spoil my grandchildren rotten.

My family values are extremely protective and hardly liberal. That's another reason that I think that government is best at only two levels - one federal and remote with virtually no limits to behavior and a second, as local as possible that provides the services that directly touch me, like educating my children and picking up the trash. I'll deal with the behavior, thank you.

It's About Validation

Something about this strikes me as the shape of things to come.

Wired News: Home-Brew IPod Ad Opens Eyes

First, this self-made ad is very good. Now take a moment and think of a world where virtually anyone can make an advertisement for their favorite products. Why would people do that? Because convincing someone else to buy what you have (or want) is validation of your desires.

And I think it goes to the heart of a fundamental assertion I made nearly 10 years ago when I tried my hand at starting and running a business. "People want to be right more than they want to be rich or recognized."

The web is a medium of personality. What is interesting is opinion and individuality. That's why blogs are taking off. And in them some of us will talk about the things we buy and how much we love or hate them. Smart businesses will ride the wave. Others will attack and fight this, which will be ultimately self defeating.

Ain't No Too Sides About it

Sometimes I despair about the South.

School Defends Slavery Booklet "Principal Larry Stephenson said the school is only exposing students to different ideas, such as how the South justified slavery. He said the booklet is used because it is hard to find writings that are both sympathetic to the South and explore what the Bible says about slavery.

'You can have two different sides, a Northern perspective and a Southern perspective,' he said."

Let me put it simply: there are not two sides to this issue. Slavery was a great human evil. There is no evidence that the South would have soon stopped the practice. Those that used the Bible to justify slavery were wrong to do so.

And although there may have been many reasons for the Civil War, the issue of slavery was paramount. The distraction of the "states rights" issue was simply another smoke screen to prolong the economic benefit of this terrible sin.

I sigh as I think of this and it leads me to radical thoughts. You know what? State have long lost their usefulness. I'm a citizen of the United States not at citizen of Ohio. I'm not an Illinoisan because I was born there. I'm an American. I'll live wherever I damn well please and I don't care to deal with 50 different sets of peculiar laws. It's time to give up the distinction. I only see the need for a Federal government, and a local one (very local if you ask me).

Doug Wilson and Steve Wilkins, the authors of this pamphlet win my Evil Idiots of the Month award.

Ain't Nobody's Business If I Do

Christ, I'm tired of this nonsense.

MSNBC - Philly officials may ban kids from later PG films

Now you have to understand - I'm a big stickler for movie and event behavior. I HATE people who talk and make noise through movies. It even annoys me when they blab through the trailers. And I detest people that bring little kids to movies the have no business being in.

But I absolutely loath making laws about behavior. So, call me a big libertarian. What I think this country needs is a massive reform effort to strip all behavioral controls short of violent acts out of the system. It's none of your business what I drink or smoke, who I have sex with, or if I decide to take kids to a movie.

I do support movie theaters enforcing civil behavior and silence. If a theater wanted to say, "no kids under 13 after 7 PM" then fine - I'd really like that. I like it when a restaurant has a no smoking policy. But no laws.

Hey, you in government. Keep your eye on the ball. It's your job to provide for the public welfare. Make sure that we're safe, provide a safety net, and have a level playing field to keep the greedy bastards from trying to put us all back into feudal serfdom. Then go home.

My Dream Job

Some people love The Onion (I do too). But for shear comic genius, you have to tip your hat to the Weekly World News.

There are times when I threaten to quick my job, renew my subscription to Mother Earth News and survive by growing tomatoes on the roof of my house. In other times of whimsy I long for a job writing for the WWN. What a joy it would be to write up any weird, funny, or outright strange thing that strikes me and see it in my local supermarket the next week.

Of course, sometimes they just report the news AFRICAN TRIBE WORSHIPS SALMA HAYEK'S BREASTS!

Brilliant, But Just A Theory

This is both funny and thought/anger provoking: Textbook disclaimer stickers

Creationism is another attempt by the religious right to undermine our entire society and create the theocracy they long for. But I understand this: they must fight for this.

Why? Because "biblical literalists" have set themselves up with a completely untenable position and organization of their beliefs. They can't even consider evolution. If they did, they'd have to admit that the bible is not 100% literal. Then they'd have to start considering all the other things that may not be exactly as they are presented in a version of these writing edited by committee 400 years ago. And they'd also have to admit that the bible isn't the most ancient of human writings.

They can't consider that human civilization stretches back not 2,000 or 4,000 but more than 10,000. And humans completely identical to ourselves have been around far, far longer.

The issue is really quite simple. Evolution is one of the great intellectual achievements of human kind. It can be observed. The evidence is in virtually every field of study. And as the stickers point out, it's not just a "cockamamie theory", but the best explanation that we have for how things work. No other explanation or theory exists to compete with it. Period.

Creationism is a belief. It is an expressed preference. "I wish it weren't this way. Here's the way I wanted it to be."

Strangely enough, the Star Trek universe supports creationism. In the mythology or backstory of the multiple series, we discover the the universe was "seeded" and guided by a massively advanced progenitor alien race in the far distant past. That's the clever way they explain that most aliens look just like us, but with bumpy foreheads and can have sex and cross-breed pretty easily. You'll also find that in the Star Trek universe that genetic engineering is forbidden because human's can't be trusted with it's awesome power, although atomic weapons and the much more powerful anti-matter and photon torpedoes are peachy. This is why we don't learn our science from TV and movies.

I'll Drink To That!

I am not a sophisticated or extremely experienced drinker, but I have learned a few things.

First, this is the only way to drink Irish Coffee:



To get the whole experience, you've got to visit the Buena Vista in San Francisco. I make a pretty good one, based on their recipe.

I came to drinking later in life than most and from a family of teetotalers. I don't drink much and hate paying the staggering prices at bars and restaurants. I'll drink a glass of wine with a meal. I enjoy the first refreshing long draught of beer on a hot day. But I don't drink more than two or three at a time. Frankly, one is enough. But I've also discovered I have a taste for and tolerance of sprits.

I take my whiskey and bourbon straight or with a splash of club soda. A tall vodka martini, up or on the rocks is heaven. I'm right with the British Navy and toss back my tot of rum in one (a little diet coke, if you must). Nothing fancy, thank you. Just a good quality scotch or cognac. Oh, and port! I'll pass up that piece of chocolate cake for that small glass or port any day.

What the Fark?

I like Fark.com - it's often funny and informative. But I too often forget that the net is largely run by children.

This thread makes it clear. It's pathetic, but funny too. Here we have a bunch of guys, self-admitted geeks, bemoaning the fact that they don't know how to attract women. Endless discussion on why they're still virgins, perhaps because they're too nice, too smart, or perhaps a little shy. The other guys get the girls because they're jerks and that's what women really want.

Or not. Come on, guys! You do hilarious photoshop contests. It's not that hard.

Captain Randy's Simple Rules For Attracting Women

1. Forget blaming it on jerks. Nobody likes jerks. What women find attractive is power.
2. No, it's not about confidence, it's about power and potential power. If you're doing something that interests you and doing it well and in public (see #5) women will respond to you. Part 2: it's not about money - money may bring power, but it's not having power that's important, it's the perception that you can get power and influence that makes you attractive. Power can be work related, civic, artistic. Power signals that you'd make a good mate or at least fun to hang out with for an evening. Part 3: you can not use your mastery of Star Trek trivia as a substitute for power. Or video game prowess. Or Monty Python quoting ability. Strangely enough, blogging well is very attractive to women (sorry girls, I'm happily married).
3. Don't be a slob. Christ, could you at least put on a clean shirt?
4. You're not that smart. Stop using you're enormous intelligence as an excuse. Intelligence is sexy and attractive. What is not attractive is a bunch of geeks hanging out together giggling about minutia. Just stop it.
5. Get out. Good, single, straight men are in short supply. Turn off the farking computer and go where other people are, where they're doing stuff. Doesn't matter what. Just stuff.
6. OK, confidence is good. Don't be afraid to be alone. Go places, dress well, be happy. Leave the rest of the geeks at home. Do not hang out with them.
7. Stop constructing the ideal of the perfect women off of internet porn. It's not helping you. Construct your ideals of attractive women by being out in public and seeing what's available. You might be pleasantly surprised at what you see.
8. When you do find yourself interested in a woman, ask for a date and be clear. Say it this way: "would you like to go on a date?" Don't set yourself up again for a "just friends" relationship. That way if she says no, you're cool and didn't waste your time. And if she says yes, give careful attention to rule number 9.
9. Touch her. Just a gentle touch on the back of the hand, the back of her arm. Show her that you are interested in her physically. Not touching shows that you are the eunuch boy that she can complain about all the jerks too. Haven't you had enough of that?
10. If you're under 20 years old, stop sweating this stuff. Nobody under 25 knows what they're doing.

It can work, boys. I've known some of the geekiest guys on the planet and they've managed to find women that love them.

Surprisingly Accurate

As seen on Every Fool:

Looks just like me, too. (although I suspect it's slightly more than 40% - I had to fix the blockquote tag.

You are 40% geek

You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator. Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend. You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines! Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals! You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

Mysteries? Hmm, is it a green one?

OK, as a work of art, maybe. But there's something about this that really bugs me.

A bookshop organized by color. "For one amazing week in November, Adobe Bookshop in San Francisco has agreed to allow its estimated 20,000 books to be reclassified by color. Shifting from red to orange to yellow to green, the books will follow the spectrum continuously, changing Adobe from a neighborhood bookshop into a magical library—but only for one week."

My wife hates it when I yell at the TV, but idiots piss me off. Some time ago we were watching a decorating show and the designer was so proud of a reading room where he'd organized all of the books based upon their colors. It immediately set me off.

I'm a lover of books, both as a reader and one who enjoys the art of the book itself. The book as an object holds special value to me. But to organize your shelfs by the color of the binding completely disregards the special nature of books and relegates them to knickknacks, disposable, valueless, pretty things. Arrange them to look pleasing. It matters not what's in them. It's as bad as the designers who load up a model home with Readers Digest Condensed Books and the cast offs from rummage sales.

Here's a secret about me. I judge people and their intellect by the books they read and keep in their homes. I watch what people are reading in restaurants and airports. Lots of my friends and acquaintances, good people, have no books and read very rarely. I find that a sad thing. I love visiting someone's home to discover a shelf of books. So rarely do I find walls full. It's a treat.

What can you tell about me by the books on my shelves? Well, on the ground floor when you enter the family room, you'll find a wall filled with books. You'll see a shelf of cookbooks and above it, three shelves of plays and books on theatre history and criticism. The middle section is overflowing with mysteries, some horror (but not much), American history, biographies, world history, and general literature (which has flowed over into the theater section). The third section is filled with books on religion, myth, philosophy, science, physics and math, and topped by a shelf of comedy. Next to a big comfy leather chair and ottoman you'll find a table which currently holds a copy of Remembrance of Things Past (or Searching for Lost Time, if you prefer) borrowed from Hedwig, a slim volume labeled "The Emperor's Handbook" which is a version of Marcus Aurelius writings, and whatever else I'm currently reading.

In the guest bathroom you'll find a small stack of books, currently a volume of Ogden Nash's poetry and a volume of Francis Bacon, along with the delightful "I Saw Esaw".

In my den on the second floor you'll find another wall of books. One section is largely science fiction, but one shelf is naval fiction mainly occupied by Patrick O'Brian. The middle section is reference works, primarily, the the third contains science fiction anthologies and paperbacks and general fiction. And another comfy chair and a stack of new things to read.

Oh, and I also have a personal rule: never leave the house without something to read.

Elsewhere in the house you'll find shelves with children's literature. The girls each have shelves of their own books.

I'm willing to be judged by these books. But to take them and arrange them by their color shape or size is a travesty. A bookstore it to me a sanctuary, a chapel. Arranging the pews so one can roller-skate in the middle may be ecstatically pleasing, but it's also disrespectful and sacrilegious.

Einsteinian Pain Waves

Thank god for the internet. My modest education and years of reading completely missed this important universal force.

Wired News: Cattle, the Research Catalyst "Professor Bajaj is from the Delhi University's department of physics and astrophysics. He has spent 14 years investigating the effects of animal slaughter on earthquakes, air crashes and other disasters. 'The killing of animals causes natural and manmade disasters,' Bajaj said. 'But, since the cow is so useful to human beings, its slaughter causes exceptional seismic activity. The cries of the animals go down to the earth through Einsteinian pain waves.'"

Perhaps I should mail off for a PhD in physics and astrophysics. Got to admit, that would look pretty cool on my business cards. "Doctor Captain Randy".

The Devil You Know

So. John Ashcroft, that deeply deluded and evil man, is resigning.

Why does that worry me? It's hard to think of anyone worse in that position of great power.

What worries me is that maybe Ashcroft is too soft for the tastes of this administration and their masters from the dark side. Maybe they want to get someone really effective in there.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

And that worries me, too. Why is Soviet era humor now so fitting for the US?