Backup Your Blog

I am a world class procrastinator, but I eventually get around to taking care of business. It took the closing of weblogs.com for me to get off my butt and backup this online journal (still not comfortable with telling people to "check out my blog").

I'm also starting a new policy of using Blogger's email function to email me each post, which I'll use a handy mail rule to sort into an automatic backup.

Wired News: Thousands of Blogs Fall Silent

I listened to Dave Winer's audio comments and I understand that he is ill and under no obligation to continue. It's too bad he didn't make the decision sooner and allow people to backup their work. But frankly, it's not his fault. They were responsible for their own work as I am for mine. As George Carlin's classic routine tells us "This is your two minute warning. Get your shit together."

I Find This Stuff Because I'm Not A Snob

OK, I am a snob, but I have a very wide interest area.

I love working with would-be writers - from college-age to post-retirement-age individuals who dearly and deeply want to become writers - and their most frequently asked question might be paraphrased as - "What's the one thing I need above all others to become a writer?" They're often surprised when I answer (as John Gardner did in his wonderful ON BECOMING A NOVELIST), "The perspective that only a serious education can give you."

I have an advanced degree, but the serious parts of my education have been self directed. But that wouldn't have been possible without the formal part.

You'll only find Mr. Simmons if you poke around the ghettos of literature. But go looking for him. "Ilium" is a treat.

How Dogs Will Make It Possible To Live Forever

Just a little glimpse into how my mind works. Read the following article and see if you go anywhere near where I'm heading.

CNN.com - Study finds dogs understand language - Jun 10, 2004 "'You don't have to be able to talk to understand a lot,' Fischer said. The team noted that dogs have evolved with humans and have been selected for their ability to respond to the communications of people."

OK, pretty interesting. Could use to talk about the different types of intelligence. Are dogs smarter than cats, or just different? Other interesting and worthy topics come to mind as well.

But here's what come to my mind: our old companions may be critical for our next step in evolution as well.

You see, I think there's good evidence that we didn't shape dogs like we have cattle and corn. It's more likely that our two species evolved together. Not only have they evolved to be able to understand and respond to us, but we too have been shaped by their companionship.

Nature doesn't have much use for us after 40. Done with raising the next generation. It's up to us at that point to go on or fall apart. These creatures we call pets help sustain us in ways that other humans don't and can't. And should we figure out a way to stay young and healthy longer than our three score years, we'll need them more.

Children grow up and move on, necessarily separating themselves. Mates may change and move, too. Friends have lives of their own. And few of us can stand our own company endlessly. But a dog needs you. And yes, they understand you. Perhaps more importantly, they care. Other animals will be present for you, but how special a relationship, forged across the millennia, and now, likely to carry us forever forward.

Personal Assistant Wanted

Today, Neil Gaiman wrote this in his blog:

"Woken up this morning rather earlier than usual, by my assistant Lorraine. 'I made you a cup of tea,' she said. 'Can you drive me to the Hospital? I think I broke my arm in the night.' "

Where exactly does one find such a creature? A live-in, selfless assistant - something from another era, I thought. I think I'd be much more productive if I had someone like this to follow me around, keeping me on task, reminding me to write and post to this blog. Edit my spelling and grammar. Press and layout my clothes. Insist it was time to exercise. Suggest that the salad might be better than the bacon cheese burger. Answer the phone and say, "he's not to be disturbed at the moment. Perhaps I can help you."

But coffee, please, not tea.

Tick

This explains a lot. Or at least why my shoe laces keep unraveling.

Guardian Unlimited | Life | The final countdown: "The quiet periods in the fossil record where evolution seems to stagnate are a big problem for natural selection: evolution can't just switch on and off. Over 20 years ago the late Stephen Jay Gould suggested internal genetic mechanisms could regulate these quiet evolutionary periods but until now no-one could explain how it would work."

Beware of Suits Bearing Gifts

Free Hardware: a Trojan Horse?

Amen to that.

Folks in the marketing world understand the power of the word "Free", but they also think consumers are stupid. That's why, once again Microsoft will try and own your corporate soul by "giving" you hardware. Unless your IT manager is already in Microsoft's pocket, this ain't gonna happen.

Primal Fears, Part II

Remind me sometime to tell you about my completely rational fear of bears, which I developed by reading sporting magazines in barber shops.

"'My first thought was, that's a really big dolphin. But then I noticed it was swimming side to side rather than up and down,' he said."

Pucker Factor?

Years ago, before I screwed up my back, I enjoyed windsurfing. Of course I was using a 50 pound board and a huge sail mainly on the freshwater Hoover Reservoir and a few times in the protected Albermarle Sound.

Recently I've seen guys out on the Outer Banks with these kites and they're pretty amazing, but with an equally amazing learning curve. I suppose this would be motivation to get your ass out of the water, though.

A first -- from Farallones to S.F. by kite-boarding"'My pucker factor, at the thought of the sharks, was huge,' said Gibson. 'The whole idea was to tread water as little as possible. I still had a feeling we were being watched.' "

Yikes.

Old style wind surfing is tough enough to learn. You have to balance on the board, then haul the sail up out of the water. Then you have to understand the wind - not just with your head, but with your body. You have to get everything aligned, balanced, and well, spend several days just getting the hell beat out of you. When it finally clicks it's a hoot - the sensation of speed is amazing - especially when the board planes out of the water and you rip along. And these kites are another order of magnitude more complex. Even without Great White Sharks increasing your pucker.

Odd Self Discovery: I'm A Fantasy Fan

I'm a voracious reader and don't limit myself to any particular genre. It has always been easier to say what I don't like - I'm not a big fan of celebrity biography or autobiography most any form. And I certainly don't read what is know as "romance". And usually on that list was Fantasy. Swords and sorcery. Sure, I love Tolkien, but hate his imitators.

But I just finished "The Knight" by Gene Wolfe. Yes, I know I've sworn to wait till he published the second volume, but the interest took me to it on the shelf and it was TERRIFIC. God, there's good stuff there.

I've always felt more comfortable in science fiction. Seat me with the nerds, not the goths, please. But in truth, sci-fi is a sub-genre of fantasy. Hell, all fiction is a sub-genre of fantasy.

OK, I just don't care for bad books. I'll read a good one wherever I find it.

And after finishing that excellent novel I had my appetite whet for more. Time, once again, for T. H. White's "The Once And Future King"

The One With The Horse

I'm a big fan of the Illiad (read the Robert Fagles translation - it's amazing ), so I was hopeful about this movie.

But after talking with a friend that went to a preview, I'll be dammed if I give the movie makers any of my dollars.

The Iliad is one of the great works of literature for more than one reason - and here's the biggest: the story is perfect. Why fuck with it? The movie makers gain NOTHING by killing off characters and "condensing" the action. Hollywood movie logic says "bad guy" Agamemnon must die, totally ignoring that he will be murdered for his crimes by his own wife when he returns and setting off the events that help define modern justice and the turning away from revenge and vigilantism. The war lasts 10 years, not 2 weeks - which makes much more sense as to why the Greeks are at each others throats.

And the Gods - Homer's story shows them every bit as petty and vindictive as the mortals. Stubborn, vain and capricious. Yes, I can see the story told without them, but WITH them we have a powerful mirror to human interactions.

But Hollywood thinks us stupid. We've never read the story. Our literature and foundations of our society, government, and civilization doesn't resonate with its message. We just want to see some buff guys fighting with swords.

A missed opportunity.

Just Plain Wrong

Wow, does Katie Hafner writing for the New York Times blow it with her article on building a home cinema. She sets off on the wrong foot with this:

The New York Times > The Do-It-Yourself Cineplex: "My first step was to lay a few ground rules. One was to conduct thorough research but not drive myself crazy. I vowed to gather information from a handful of well-informed aficionados near my home in the San Francisco Bay area and ignore the rest.

I allowed myself to use the Web, but selectively. Product reviews and price comparisons were fine, but I steered clear of the dozens of online home theater discussion groups. Remember, some of these people are not merely opinionated fanatics, they're opinionated fanatics with too much time on their hands.

If you want advice, you're better off calling friends who have been through the home theater ordeal. Make sure they went through it recently, because like most technology, equipment and prices change almost weekly."

Let me tell you something: your friends don't know shit. And even if your friends do know something, you don't know if they're experience on this can be trusted.

And most of all, you don't know what's possible.

This can be applied to anything, but let's talk about home theater.

Before starting a project like this, survey what's possible. You might decide you'd just like a TV and some stereo speakers, or you might discover that for a little more, you can build an immersive environment. But you'll never know until you look outside your group of friends. You might find out that those Bose speakers you've been looking at don't produce as sound as well as something less expensive, but Best Buy doesn't carry them. You might find out that no, painting your wall flat white isn't the best way to save on buying a screen (but there are other colors and DIY solutions that produce very good results.) And you might find that a little more thought about the room before you look at equipment can save you $$$ and give you a great audio environment.

You picked the wrong group to ignore, Ms. Hafner. Some of us fanatics could have spent some of our "too much time" helping you.

Oh, and you really screwed your friends by showing them "Master and Commander" with a blown subwoofer. That movie rocked at my place.

Damn, Missed Another Anniversary

Gmail For All (OK, Just For Me)

I received my invitation to join the Beta test of Google's new email system last night. Gmail, when it's released to the public will be a free service which offers a free email account with a full gigabyte of storage. Most systems offer a tiny fraction of that - hell, most paid systems offer less than 10%.

It's also an interesting approach to email - making your email into "conversations" - which I find very useful. And searching - which is also cool.

I wish there were a way for me to dump 10 years of old email into it, but I'll have to work it from this point forward. And I'm not yet set on making it my main account, which also limits its usefulness.

The ads? Not a problem. And no, I don't have any more privacy concerns with them than I do with any other internet service provider.

And no, I can't get you into the beta, either. But it should be available to the public soon.

It's Due Now, Baby

"'John always knows when his homework is due.'"

This is good news. Sorta.

But it doesn't counteract the acid sent swirling in my gut this morning when I hear Rush Limbaugh proclaim that the Iraq prison abuses wasn't a bad thing at all. “If you look at the role Arab men make their women play, to make American prison guards females and give them utter power over Arab men, some might call that torture. Some might call that decent punishment. Some might say, 'Here's a taste of your own medicine. This is what you've been doing to your women, only now the tables are turned.'”

I use too think he was just a blustering idiot I didn't care for. It's clear now that that he's more than that. He's a evil man - a real bad guy. He poisons his audience, trying out messages, seeing what they'll believe. When he goes to far he'll say, "I was only kidding. Can't you tell it's all comedy?"

No. It's not funny anymore. It never was.

And shouldn't he be in prison? What happened to those drug charges? Guess it helps to have friends in high places. Too bad - he might get to see some of those prison guard abuses up close and personal.

Changing Time

Hmm - Blogger's been sprucing up the place. I've been mucking about with my template as well. We'll see how this all turns out.

Good Choice

I recommend Steven Pinker for two reasons. First and most important - he's a terrific and entertaining writer. That alone makes his books worth while.

And of course, he his also on the cutting edge of the cognitive sciences. Here's a man that can title a book "How The Mind Works" without false bravura. The man knows what he's talking about.

Steven Pinker Selected as one of the "Time100"

His most recent work, "The Blank Slate" is terrific and contains some really thought provoking ideas about ethics and morality, certainly steps beyond the simple nature vs. nurture argument.

Oh, and a third reason. Any person of intelligence that wants to seriously think about existence and human potential should read his Pinker!

While your at it, best see what George Dyson has to say as well.

When I Was Seventeen . . .

The hell with that, my teenage years were not exactly angst filled, but I have no nostalgia to return to that time and place.

Now 20, that was a good year. I finished my sophomore year of college and changed my major to something I enjoyed and was good at. I spent the summer working on a construction crew and returned to college fit, golden brown, driving my vintage Karman Ghia convertible. I was confident with myself and was finally getting the hang of dating, or at least asking for dates.

But in all, now that I am 44, I'd not go back. Going forward is much more interesting.

Apparently, somewhat gender confused as well

What Liberty Meadows Character are you?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Your are	Evil Brandy
This QuickKwiz by fabboferretsdad - Taken 78 Times.

New Car Blues

For some reason or another I've got it into my head that we need to buy a new car.

My justifications:

• Kathleen will be 16 in September and will need a vehicle
  
• The minivan has over 112,000 miles on it and I currently put around 300 miles per week on it - if we want to keep it for family vacations/road trips, we need to keep the mileage down - or plan on replacing it soon (and I'd rather not have another minivan as my daily driver).
  
• Some other really good and decisive reasons that I can't think of right now.

We've had both of our current vehicles paid off for a couple of years and it's nice to not have a car payment. We've discussed a number of options. But the new cars beckon.

My requirements: Flexible and comfortable - big enough with a hatchback so we can transport the string bass with driver and 2 passengers. Quieter on the road and more car-like (as opposed to truck-like) ride and handling.

Which brings me to the "crossover" class of vehicles - which include the Nissan Murano, the Lexus RX330, and the Infiniti FX35. All of which are terrific vehicles and much too expensive. I should never have driven the FX35. It's just too much fun (think sport car, not SUV). It just purrs. At least I didn't drive the FX45 - even I know that's too much car.

I'm going to take a step back and drive some things on the other end of the spectrum like the KIA Sorrento and the and the Hyundai Sante Fe. And to balance things out, the VW Touareg.

Sigh. It's just a hell of a lot of money. I think leasing is a scam and we do tend to keep our vehicles six years or longer, on average (the Windstar is a 98 model year, purchased in 97, my wife's Taurus is a 99 model year).

If I had to decide right now and money wasn't an issue, I'd pick the Lexus. Although I get the impression that I wouldn't be buying a car as much as joining a club. It appears to be a terrific vehicle, but I'm not really the country club type. Can I get the vehicle without the attitude?

And I Thought It Was A Surprise Birthday Party For Me

MacMinute: Jobs to speak on iTunes Music Store anniversary

If you haven't tried out iTunes for searching for and buying music, you're missing out.

My daughter, Kathleen, is a big jazz fan and plays string bass in her high school band (see previous posts here). She came home last week with a hand written list of songs she wanted to hear and learn. A few minutes in iTunes and she had them all (all that I didn't already have, I'm a jazz fan myself). We bought a half dozen tracks for 99 cents each - late Sunday evening. It's damn handy and addictive as hell.

I worry about the music industry, though. Those guys don't get it. I've seen threats of price increases. And they're unhappy with single track sales vs. CDs. But it's way cool and my preferred way of purchasing music (and yes, I've bought more total dollars worth of music in the past year than the previous one).

Ride Captain Ride

Damn. Listening to the radio and get songs stuck inbetween the ears. This time it's "Ride Captain Ride" by Blues Image.

Tell me, do the lyrics have any meaning? "Seventy three men sailed up from the San Francisco Bay . . ."

And while we're at it, what about "One Toke Over The Line". Is it really just some homesick and stoned guy whining?

Wanted: More Brave, Anonymous Patriots

‘Where is the David Halberstam of this generation?'

Where indeed.

LA Weekly: Features: Swallow This, Deep Throat "One of the reasons Deep Throat stayed anonymous back then was if it came out that he was ratting, they would kill him. That is an anonymous source."

There Is No Limit To The Cool Stuff You Can Buy On eBay

This is so out of my field, but were it closer, I'd bid it up!

eBay item 3189039958 (Ends Apr-30-04 09:58:51 PDT) - DECREASE YOUR ERDOS NUMBER! scientific coauthorship

Genius In The New Millennium

This is fucking brilliant. While once we told ghost stories around the fire, now we do it on eBay.

Dibbuk Haunted Jewish Wine Cabinet Box

Geeks And The History Buffs They Become

I've been saying for some time now that the path to intellectual enlightenment isn't science, it's history. Science is important, but it calls for breaking things down. History, real history, as broad and as detailed as possible (including archeology) makes one question the assumptions that are thrust on us. History from as many sources as possible. "Wait a minute, different people have different views of the same event?"

And first person accounts forces one to drop interpretation and try and see what it was like to be there.

Salon.com Books | The Salon Interview: Neal Stephenson "There was a review of 'Cryptonomicon' with a line in it that struck me as interesting. The guy said, 'This is a book for geeks and the history buffs that they turn into.' I'm turning into one. I'm in this history book club, which is not all geeks but it's definitely got some serious geeks in it. It's been going for four or five years maybe. We're all consistently dumbfounded by how interesting history is when you read it yourself compared to how dull it was when they made you study it in school. We can't figure out why there's that gap. I think they try to cover too broad a sweep at once so you never get down to the individual people and their stories. It's all generalities. "

Yes, geeks that are more than obsessives find their way inevitably to history.

On a side note: I really like Stephenson's work, but I'm waiting for him to finish the cycle before reading it. I HATE having material dribbled out. Yes, I understand why it's done, but I don't like it. I have the latest Gene Wolfe sitting on my shelf, unread, for the same reason.

Idiot

First, this:

CNN.com - Gun found in congressman's carry-on bag - Apr 20, 2004"Hostettler is an avid sportsman and 'hunts lots of things and does target practice,' Jahr said. 'He's been doing a lot to events in the district and may have packed the wrong bag.'"

Hey, Mr. Representative and conservative. Stand up for what's right. Let them throw the book at you like they'd do if Joe Bob down the street were to show up at the airport packing.

You people in Indiana, take note.

Oh, I'm supposed to post EVERY day?

Argh.

Yes

I was reading a pro-Mac piece online when I came across this gem:

"The word 'yes' in a man's world (especially a husband's) is truly magical, but that's another discussion thread all together. "

Ain't that the truth? What better sound can one hear? "Can I have this dance?" "Would you like to go out Saturday night?" "Can I buy this new iPod?"

Just be careful to word your questions carefully.

Some Goals are Better Than Others

I have a short reading list of RSS feeds and blogs every day - it seems like some topics make the rounds pretty quickly.

Here's one I read on boingboing.net today:

40 Things Every Drunkard Should Do Before He Dies.

First point - completing all 40 might cause one to die.

Next surprising observation: there are a couple of good ideas in this list.

I am a moderate drinker - I didn't drink as an undergraduate and didn't drink much till after I was 25 and in the work force. A couple of drinks is usually fine for me.

On the other hand, I like it. I enjoy whisky and rum neat. I'll happily drink vodka shots or a martini - the colder the better. Beer is great, but a couple of pints is plenty. I love a good port, but rarely get it. And wine with a meal is fine, but not something I have to have.

And don't get me started on Irish Coffee.

"7.) Buy a crowded bar a round. For no reason at all. Jump up on a barstool and shout it loud: “A round for the house! On me!” Make sure you have a good toast ready, because, for once, they’ll all be listening."

Jazz at Lincoln Center NewsFlash

Last week, while traveling in the UK, I learned that my oldest daughter Kathleen's jazz band has been selected as one of the top high school jazz bands and will participate in the Essentially Ellington competition and festival!

Jazz at Lincoln Center NewsFlash

We're all going on the trip - she's very excited (as am I). They'll be competing and playing with 14 other bands. Most of these bands are "from the coasts" and many are performing arts schools. Westerville South is a public school, one of three in Westerville, so this is quite an accomplishment. No other Ohio schools were selected, frankly none from the mid-west or for that matter, the entire center of the country.

Kathleen is really coming along playing the string bass - and she's featured in the Ellington original "Jack The Bear". She's the engine of a this amazing little band.

Back when I was in high school I played in our high school jazz band for my freshman year. I really enjoyed it. This was the era of Maynard Ferguson and Chuck Mangione . It was all about driving brass and we played more rock and pop than true jazz. And we didn't have a bass. Kathleen's band really swings - right now they have about ten Ellington charts (originals, as written for his orchestra) under their belts.

Proud papa, indeed.

Innocents Abroad, Version 2.0

Lots of catching up. Rather than a lot of small posts, here's the old
stream-of-consciousness bit.

Left for a business trip to the UK last Tuesday. My flight wasn't
until 3 PM, so I decided to spend the morning at home. After finishing
packing I still had some time and took this rare opportunity to go down
to the theater and watch something on my own. I selected "Big Night".
This is a terrific film, but not one that interested Diane, so this is
only the 2nd time I've seen it. The last five minutes of the movie is
perfection. I immediately went up stairs and made myself a omelet.

Boy do I hate travel by air. Yes, you get to places quickly (as long
as they are far away). But one needs to arrive 2 hours early to get
through security. Then you sit and wait. Flew to JFK, the worst of
the NYC area airports. Had to leave the terminal, walk across a
street, find my way to the elevated train, go to another terminal and
get cleared through security again. We wait. Left JFK around 6 PM and
got to Heathrow around 6 AM local time.

People on this flight weren't interested in sleeping. I dozed a bit,
but never rested. A small French speaking child a few rows up with a
very high voice talked without a moment's pause for the last 2 hours.
I arrived at my hotel, also at Heathrow around 7 AM, but they had no
rooms cleaned and ready. I had breakfast. Still no rooms. I sat in
the lobby and read. Room finally ready around 11:30. I dragged myself
up to the room and slept till 2, then watched TV and read till 6 or so,
had dinner at the hotel, and went back to bed.

Next day I had my business conference - nothing to report - went fine,
done by 6 PM, but a long day and tiring. Dinner again in the hotel and
to bed.

Friday. Made my way to the Tube (Mind the Gap) and into central
London. The Underground system is very well run, clean, new,
comfortable, and easy to understand. It took over an hour to get from
the Heathrow station to where I was going. I easily found my
appointment at 10:30 and after sat in a Starbucks and bought an hour of
wireless Internet access.

Here's two other things that drove me mad about travel: no Internet
access and no cell phone. I made 2 phone calls home, probably less
than 30 minutes total and it cost more than one hundred pounds. I'm
use to carrying a cell and though I really don't use it much, I know
that I could, at any moment, get in touch with family and work from
ANYWHERE in the US with no difference in the charge from anywhere I am.
There's no reason why I can't have the same thing from anywhere on the
planet - I'd settle for 1st world countries, but frankly, some of the
2nd and 3rd have better cellular infrastructures than the US.

Between my 2nd and 3rd meeting I walked - no convenient Tube access and
plenty of time. Even got pretty good directions from a friendly street
person. In all, I felt comfortable in London. People seemed polite
and well mannered.

After my final meeting I hopped back on the tube and went to Picadilly
Circus - a quick walk around, but couldn't find the discount theater
ticket booth. I did confirm that the Royal Shakespeare Company's
production of "All's Well That Ends Well" was sold out. Then to Covent
Garden. Saw St. Pauls and stood where Samuel Pepys did in May of 1662
and saw the first documented Punch and Judy performance.

"...an Italian puppet play, that is within the rails there, which is
very pretty, the best that I ever saw, and great resort of gallants."

Wondered around the stalls in the Market, then found a restaurant that
was recommended by a friend. Belgo. I was too early so walked around
the area till 5 (still got a snide remark from the waiter - "hope you
enjoyed your LATE lunch"). Good all the same - details here:
http://www.belgo-restaurants.com/

Before dinner I did find a stall selling discount tickets and decided
to see "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged)" by the
Reduced Shakespeare Company. Very funny. Three Americans doing what
the Marx Brothers might have done - great stuff and lots of laughing.

But while waiting for the theater, stopped again in a Covent Garden
Starbucks and managed a table by a door that wouldn't stay closed and
finished "One Hundred Years of Solitude". Incredible. Along with
"Love in the Time of Cholera" it is a wholly satisfying read, a
wonderful, imaginative, stirring book.

Saturday I took the tube back to London and spent 5 hours poking about
the Tower of London. It was a gray, cold day and ended up raining. I
had a terrific time. The tour by the Yeoman Warder was terrific.
Another "Standing in" experience: this time, the spot where Henry the
VIII stood when Anne Boleyn entered the Tower to marry him. After the
hour or so tour I spent the rest of my time walking the walls, in and
out of the various towers, spending a great deal of time in the
original or "White" tower. But by 5 my back was done and I took the
tube back to the hotel.

2nd book for the trip: "A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius". I
was put off by the title, didn't know what to expect, but did enjoy it.

Sunday: Up at what was 2 am US Central time - 8 hour flight to JFK.
Collected bag, cleared through customs and immigration. Leave the
building, ride train to another terminal - make way to street, cross
road - drag bag all the way around outside of terminal, check through
again, wait 4 hours. Made it back home around 8:30 PM.

Still recovering - it doesn't help that Diane left on a business trip
of her own Sunday afternoon and I won't see her till around 10 PM
tonight.

So - I did enjoy my first trip to London, but don't really enjoy
traveling on my own. I HATE eating by myself and truly detest being
separated from my wife (I don't mind being away from the kids for a few
days - more kid stuff to report soon). I hope the entire family will be
able to make a UK and perhaps larger European trip in the next couple
of years.

Some side observations: in the UK, I cannot predict the "color" of the
speaker. This was very clear when riding the Tube and hearing black,
Indian, Pakistani, and Asians all sounding, at least to me, like their
"white" counterparts. I stood next to two black women whose speech
instantly identified them as Black Americans. I've been made to
understand that others, not me, can determine where one grew up and
their level of education from their speech with Henry Higgins accuracy,
but not their ethnic background or skin color.

Another: Great Britain and perhaps the UK does not think of itself as a
part of Europe.

Distance: Traveling from Ireland or France and most of Europe to London
is easy and cheap. But people living in London think of Northern
England as a remote and very different country. Wales could be on the
other side of the planet. In a few weeks I'm driving the family to
Florida - a much greater distance, and I don't think of it as being
remote at all.

Love being other places, hate travel. I foresee two futures: one where
travel is easy, cheap, and takes no longer than 2 hours from any point
to another. The other and more likely: travel is very slow and very
expensive. Most people travel more than 30 miles from their home, but
virtual access is like air and water - I can go anywhere, seen and
experience anything, anytime. Frankly, I'd like travel the slow way -
take the Queen (insert name here) on a 10 day crossing. Spend a few
months on the Continent. Trains, ocean liners, zeppelins. That's the
sensible way too travel.

Toy's That Watch TV With You

First admission: I'm a big Batman fan.

But do kids really want toys that will watch TV with them?

Each episode of Warner Bros. Animation's fall 2004 "The Batman" animated series will be encoded using VEIL technology, an invisible data stream embedded in the video picture that is transmitted to and received by the removable module with LCD screen. The module is the component that brings the Batman action figure and Batmobile to life.

While watching the show, the toys can be activated to receive the encoded signal. After the signal is received, engine graphics, diagnostics, gadgets, story line background from the show, character information, power-ups, and more, are activated within the toys. In addition, when the show is on, the Batman action figure and the Batmobile vehicle recognize the show's signal and "come to life" and react with lights, motion, and sound.

Toys that play back might be interesting, but not necessarily so. And A.I. was an interesting, but not great movie. For something more interesting, see the original story.

Things We Will Never See On Star Trek

"The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life-form wearing a funny hat. "

I'm a Travel'n Man

This is pretty cool: Tools for travellers

Here's mine for the US:




Here's my world version - the UK is a near future item:

Recognition for My Forum Buddies

PCWorld has some very nice things to say about my friends at the AVSforum:

"A support site for anything related to home theater or consumer electronics, AVS Forum has exactly what a tech community needs most: smart, loyal users who offer outstanding advice to novices and enthusiasts alike."

Exactly. These people helped me immensely. I participate daily and really enjoy the folks there - it's balanced, helpful, and largely without trolls. A much different experience than slashdot or any of its ilk.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Novelist

I agree. Put the LeCarre in charge of the CIA, the Lawrence Block in charge of the FBI, and John Grisham as Attorney General.

"These ideas were out there -- any reader of trash literature could have come up with this entire plan in 28 minutes. But no: We left the CIA in the hands of Allen Dulles and Richard Helms and George H.W. Bush, people who probably don't even know what the Holcroft Covenant is. How messed up is that?
"

A fun little story by Larry Niven gives this an interesting spin as well. "The Return of William Proxmire" I won't spoil it for you. Track it down.

Oh, my tummy aches

"There is an century-old prophesy within the competitive eating community, dismissed by most, that foretells the rise of the 'One Eater' "

I didn't even know there was a "competitive eating community". I've got to get back in training!

It's hard too believe that this woman is single. Of course, under no circumstances, do not take her to dinner for a first date.

Letter to the Editor, Westerville News and Public Opinion

January 28, 2003

We have another election coming up and the school levy will once again be the most contentious issue on the ballot. Fear is overriding the facts and cool reason. We have lots of people shouting, "The school board is corrupt and evil! They're ripping you off! They're stealing and wasting your money! School teachers and administrators are getting rich while you can't afford health care!" In this atmosphere it's hard to really look at the issues.

From my perspective it boils down to this: cutting the Westerville schools to the state minimum requirements will signal the death of Westerville as a growing, prosperous, desirable community. Westerville has benefited in recent years from an influx of businesses and new homes and from its proximity to New Albany, Easton, and Polaris. What brings businesses and new residents, dollars spent in Westerville businesses, and keeps our property values rising? The quality of our schools.

Try this experiment: call a real estate agent and pose as a home buyer from out of the area interested in moving to central Ohio. Then ask them the #1 question all home buyers ask: "How are the schools?" The answer: "Well, Westerville is in a mess. They've just cut all of language, music, and art programs and barely meet the state minimum requirements. Let me show you some nice homes in New Albany, Upper Arlington, Dublin."

You want fear? Vote against the levy and the value of your home will plummet. Vote against the levy and those of us who can will put our children in private schools. Many will take the loss on their homes and move. Vote against the levy and no new businesses will move in (what if Banc One pulls out?). Welcome to the new Northland.

Randy Murray
Westerville resident

Teach Your Children Well

Russian Roulette for Kids

I feel sick, too.

"When I showed my friend, who happens to love Apple, he looked sick. He did not say anything to me. He just put his hands on his head and was in shock. I wish I had a picture of that."

How I PC'd an Apple G5

If I find out this kid's phone number, I'm telling them that their darling child destroyed a $2,500 top-of-the-line computer because he really wanted a $300 PC to play games on.

He thinks he's a genius, but he doesn't have a clue of what he could have done with all of that power. Don't want to run Mac OS X? Hell, use it for a Linux supercomputer!

Landmines are Red, Violets are Blue

Now this is slick: Flower-Power Could Help Clear Land mines

Imagine a 21st century Johnny Appleseed, striding through the battlefields, sewing a warning to all who come near.

An Increasing Margin of Error

God, I'm tired of surveys, exit and opinion polls.

And here's how you can make it stop: when asked to take a poll or survey, agree to gladly, then lie.

You must respond to the poll - if you don't, someone else will. But if you lie, they're results will become less accurate or predictive. And it's more fun that way.

I'm tired of being profiled, marginalized, and herded into pre-defined groups. I'm tired of politicians saying what they think we want to hear. And I'm particularly tired of "front runners" and "come from behind wins."

We have polls - the elections are when we speak and make our opinions known. But too many vote the way the expect others too, unwilling to "waste their vote". How can you know how others will vote without the help of the up-to-the-minute-margin-of-error-less-than-3-fucking-percent polls?

Elections and voting are a sacred duty. So the next time you walk out and as asked how you voted, smile and lie.

Randy

Nah, You Can't Replace Bill!

OK, maybe you can.

Goodnight, Captain!

Another gentle soul passes. Bob Keeshan, 'Captain Kangaroo,' dies at age 76

I remember him well from my childhood mornings. This was the time before Sesame Street, Nickelodeon, before we had more than five channels. There was a story teller, a teacher, and a funny man.

Thanks, Mr. Keeshan. Fare thee well.

Need More Words

We need more words in English.

I heard a radio interview (Morning Edition on NPR, I believe) the other day with someone talking about the 10 Commandments, or the Decalogue in Jewish tradition. Among the many interesting things that were said was the troubling nature of the 10th "saying" and its less than capital nature.

So, how serious is coveting anyway?

For me, there are not clear descriptive terms that align themselves with emotional states. The lust I feel for my wife is not the same emotional state (or physical manifestation, either, boyo) that I feel for that piece of German chocolate cake. And it's not even close to what I feel when I look at a dual processor G5 PowerMac with 23" flat panel display (OK, that did making me a little hot).

And if we begin breaking it down, there's things that I can desire, in all of its various flavors, and not want, or intend to have. And there are things I can cooly appreciate, and neither want nor desire, covet, or lust after.

Then again, if our language was more precise, completely definitive, then we would have less need for the poet. Instead of saying, "yes, it's something like that", we would all simply shake our heads in perfect agreement, saying exactly what we experienced and meant.

Back to the old map and territory business.

Oh, and the book they were talking about in the above interview was the Jewish Study Bible. Might have to get one of those.

How's is hang'n podna?

There are some authors that have one story to tell and repeat it endlessly, book after book. One of my favorite authors, James Lee Burke may be one of them, but I'll gladly pay full admission every time he wants to tell it.

I just finished "Last Car to Elysian Fields". Once more, Dave Robicheaux gets tangled up in an mess that reaches back through the years. Once more, a strange and powerful murderer flits in and out of the story. Once more a rich and influential family may be deeply involved. Good sons gone bad, trying to be good. Wives and daughters caught in the corruption and the sins of the fathers. And once more, Clete Purcel is there to happily stir the mayhem.

Yah mon. Burke has got the gift, the skill. When I read his work I can smell it, feel it, taste it. I see every picture in full high definition. And the man knows we've been down this road before and uses it to add to the tension and anticipation. Bad things are going to happen. Rough, karmic justice will be handed out.

I have a shelf devoted to Mr. Burke's works - they are a marvel. It's been a while since I've been back through them - perhaps it's time to start over. But I'm not sure I can. Dave's been through some rough territory.

Ah. I don't know the world that Robicheaux does, don't want to be any closer than these books. I don't want to wrestle with his demons, carry his weight. But I tell you honestly, there are moments, points of time in which I do, for just a moment, wish I could unleash the chaos, go full tilt boogie, get the creeps in my sights in a free fire zone.

Admit it, so do you.

No? You're right, neither do I. I was just josh'n with ya.

"Don't be shooting at nothin' you cain't see the other side of, no."

Long Week In San Francisco

OK, too busy to actually finish and post this. Here's what I intended to post on Wednesday or Thursday, but got pulled off onto something else.

__________


Been at Macworld Expo all week. These long shows wear on one.

I'm good for a three-day show, but the adrenaline will only carry me so far. And with a three hour difference in time I find that after a few days, rather than acclimate, it just catches up with me.

But, on to the show!

The show floor this year is much smaller than previous years - I believe that it's just too expensive for many companies to exhibit any more. The attendance is good and the traffic has been strong, so no complaints in that.

On the other hand, I haven't seen anything really new and unexpected - no stunning new technology, devices, or software. Why is that? Because the internet is a 24X7, 365 trade show.

What have I seen? Lots of accessories. Lots of computer, iPod, and device bags. Lots of well made software, but for the most part, not seen for the first time (ours fits in that category).

Oh, and not enough free wireless bandwidth! The show provider charges a huge amount for internet to the booth and those that do pay for it have to keep it to themselves. There are a few places where I can get it, but it's a walk and there's not much time in between meetings and spending time at the booth. Luckily, someone near our hotel room set up an open wireless connection. Thanks, macTools guys!

Ah, busy to finish - more next week.

Alms For The Poor

My friend Penny has gotten me to be a regular reader of San Francisco Chronicle columnist Jon Carroll.

I'm normally right in step with him, but today's was truly a demonstration of his skill and art. Today's column JON CARROLL - Tuesday, December 23, 2003.

Initially, I shook my head and thought, "no way - the wrong thing to do." But after a moment and thinking about what he'd said, he brought me around.

We're all experts in how other people should get their lives together. There are the worthy homeless and the unworthy homeless. You may concentrate on the adjective, or you may concentrate on the noun. I'm a noun guy.

From my perspective, charity isn't about the people you're giving to, it's about YOU. Yes, there are effective organizations that help with all sorts of problems. There are scams and crooks. But charity, giving, is a form of mindfulness. As Mr. Carroll says, it has to be enough to hurt, even just a little, so you'll notice. An alm, a physical demonstration of one's awareness of others.

Happy holiday's, all.

Does Anyone Think This Is Fun?

I admit, there's a lot of things I just don't understand, but this is going right at the top of my list:BlogShares - Fantasy Blog Share Market

How exactly is this any fun? Set us a fantasy stock market to predict the popularity of blogs?

Although I must admit that I was flattered to learn that I had 2 stock holders!

Of course, if it's anything like the real stock market just because they own stock doesn't mean that they, or anyone else for that matter, actually read this stuff.

Tomorrow: the meaning of life revealed and many sexy complications.

The Annual Xmas Letter

Every year Diane asks me to write a Christmas letter for the few cards we send out - this year you get to read it to!

December 2003

Greetings! We hope this season finds you well and happy! We’ve had a busy year, but here at the holidays we’re ready for a couple of weeks of being close to home and fewer rushed activities.

Here’s the breakdown for all of us:

Jennifer just turned 11. She’s doing a terrific job on the piano and is now starting drawing lessons, the cello and even trying some children’s theater. She’s even had her first picture on exhibit. Her picture was titled “Silent Turtle Water” (you’ll have to ask her). We’ll have her do a custom Christmas card next year. Both she and Kathleen continue to ice skate competitively – the gold medals are piling up (but I don’t think you’ll see them at the Olympics anytime soon). It’s hard to believe that Jennifer will start middle school next year.

Kathleen, now a sophomore, is in demand on the string bass and already getting paying gigs, but not making enough to cover what I charge to drive her around. She’s been selected for the All-State Jazz band and plays with the Columbus Youth Symphony Orchestra. She’ll start driver’s ed in a couple of months and is picking out cars (although she knows she’s driving the old minivan until further notice).

Diane and I completed a huge project in April with the grand opening of “Cinema Murray”, our basement-remodeling project. If you’re ever in the area stop in for a movie – but call ahead, seating is limited! I’ve been accused of obsessing about this new hobby, but I swear it’s not time for a mid-life crisis. You can check it out online at http://homepage.mac.com/cptnrandy/CinemaMurray.htm

Both of us remain working in the high pressure, high tech field, but we’re not complaining – we know too many people that are out of work. Diane runs a large technical department for the state and I’ve taken on all of the marketing and public relations for Now Software (let me know if you need any calendar software!). I’m doing a little more traveling (NYC, San Francisco, Vegas, etc.) just enough to be fun, but those redeye flights back are rough. On the health front I had my gall bladder out in February and am finally attacking my long-term back pain – a mix of kidney stones and arthritis – but hopefully controllable with exercise and medication.

We have been keeping up with our yearly vacation to Cape Hatteras and, this year, we are also planning a family trip to Boston. And by this time next year we’ll be looking at colleges for Kathleen!

Don’t forget to write (regular mail or email to cptnrandy@mac.com). And if you can, come for a visit!

All the best this holiday season.

Randy, Diane, Kathleen, and Jennifer

Good With The Bad

This Yin and Yang thing is a bitch.

First, something I got a kick out of - a little thing, perhaps, but I regard it as a milestone.

Friday morning when I got in the office I had a phone message from a headhunter - I do get them from time to time. But this time it was different - this was the call, the big show, as they say in baseball.

I've spent my entire career in the software industry and from the start I've been a Mac fan. I've done good work and had more than a few chances to do some very cool things. For the last few years I've been working in a Mac software company (OK, cross platform, but we're all Mac fans here).

The call was from one of the big players - they knew who I was, what'd I'd done, and were interested in me. It was extremely flattering.

But I had no trouble saying, "thanks for thinking of me, but I'm not interested". It would have been a very interesting job, but there's no way I could uproot the family and move to California. But just like a proposition to a married man from a beautiful woman - sometimes it's just nice to be asked.

Just so the universe stays in balance, I learned yesterday that my ongoing back pain is not kidney stones, but arthritis. That's just damn depressing. So new drugs, physical therapy, and lots of X-rays, MRIs, CTs and paper hospital gowns. Trust me, it could have been worse news, but I reserve the right to be depressed for a little while. I hope that in a few months I'll feel better and be in better shape. I certainly hope so - my back's been killing me for days now. And knowing what's causing it makes me feel too damn old.

I Love A True Obsession

I recently got an early Xmas present: an expresso machine. I've barely learned to operate the thing, but in search of answers, I've found these fine fellows:

CoffeeGeek - Information, Opinion, Reviews, and More

For real fun, check out the long article on milk frothing.

Chafferers with Laptops

I'm in one of those inexplicable reading droughts again, and for once, it may be a good thing. I've been reading Barbara Tuchman's "Stilwell and the American Experience in China, 1911-45", which is an amazing book, but not at this moment compelling me to gobble it down in one gulp.

So, last night when I took the girls to a late Sunday evening skating session, I took my nifty 12" Powerbook.

And here's what happened:


Post Modem


Chapter 1

“So, Mr. Nash. How quickly can you help us fill this position?”

I really don’t like taking on new customers, but the economy of the last few years had finally caught up with me. My base of customers wasn’t half what it had been before the turn of the century and the ones that remained weren’t hiring much. But I was far from destitute and when times are bad, companies have to be sure and hire the right people the first time around. So they need me, but they don’t like it. They’re more likely to argue with my fee structure and try and bargain with me. I rarely bargain and I certainly wasn’t in the mood for it today.

“I’m sure I can find the right person for you pretty quickly. Just how quickly do you need someone?”

Mr. Bemidji managed a weak smile. “Today, tomorrow, any time this week.” He made a strange strangled laugh. “Really Mr. Nash. We need someone immediately. We wouldn’t be speaking to you if we didn’t need to find a replacement, er, well immediately.”

I took a moment and scratched behind my right ear and looked again at his desktop. Some people have clean desks, but very few have completely empty ones. The office was clearly his, but he had arranged it in such a manner that after every task he could return it to a complete null state. When I had been escorted in he was using a slim sliver laptop, but he closed it and slid it into a desk drawer before rising to shake my hand and offer me a seat. I waited, scratching and thinking until he looked close to tears.

“Perhaps you’re talking to the wrong man. It will probably take a few weeks for me to discover what you need and several more to find the right person. I’m not sitting on a stable of blank slates I can shoe horn into any opening.”

“Mr. Nash …”

“Let me tell you how I work, Mr. Bemidji. You’ve spoken to three of my customers already. That’s why I agreed to this meeting. The way I work and my fees are not negotiable. But if you let me do my job, I will find the right person for you.”

Time to wait again, but it wasn’t long.

“Mr. Nash, I was told you were the best executive recruiter in the area.”

“Headhunter. I’m a headhunter, Mr. Bemidji. I don’t dignify it with fancy titles. And I’m not here to find just someone to fill a job, am I? You need someone very specific, and I’m here to find that person for you.”

Bemidji shifted, but only slightly, in his chair. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Yes, Mr. Nash. We need someone very specific.”

“And I’d be happy to help you.” I took a single sheet of paper from my portfolio and laid it in front of him. “If you’ll sign here we can begin.”

He stared at the contract in front of him. He’d seen it earlier when I emailed him a copy and instructed him we would be signing it, unaltered, before we began. He spoke without taking his eyes off the contract. “This is a very unusual way of doing business, Mr. Nash.”

“It is, isn’t it? But it’s the way I work and the only way I work. Sign it and we begin or don’t and I’ll leave.”

My agreement is very simple. Once engaged, I research the company, the tasks, the history, everything down to the competition and market conditions. Then I bring back a single candidate. I name the salary and benefits package. There are no interviews, no committees, no HR vetting. The company receives a “dossier”, for lack of a better term, and they have 24 hours to decide. I do not offer a second candidate. My fee is equivalent to one year’s salary of this new hire.

“You can do this?” he asked.

“Yes. I can.”

He slid open the drawer to his left, selected a pen, and signed the contract without hesitation, then replaced the pen, closed the drawer and pushed the contract back across the desk to me. “Mr. Nash, last night the president of our company was murdered. We need you to find a replacement in no more than three weeks.”

Now it was my turn to sigh. I took out my pen and signed the contract, dated it and placed it in my portfolio.

“Then let’s get started.”

Why Fiction Is Important

The other day John mentioned that a friend of his didn't have a TV and wouldn't read fiction "because it isn't real".

I've been faced with this before, but it's clear to me that this attitude boxes one in on what can be known and experienced. How gray life would be without imagination. How unknowable would life and experience be if only cold analysis and reporting feeds me. Perspective is virtually unreachable without fiction's ability to say, "here's what it might have been like".

And there's power in fiction. A story, well told, can make the unthinkable real and in some cases, turn away the unthinkable by setting it out with "if we keep on this way . . ."

And I think this is one example: Fallout from 'The Day After'. I remember it well.

Abraham Lincoln is, by legend, reported as telling Harriet Beecher Stowe, ""So you're the little woman who wrote the book that started this Great War!" Is it possible that this nearly forgotten TV movie may have caused a war NOT to have been started?

Thank you, Mr. Meyers.

There And Back Again

So, on Monday I arrive at the airport before 7:30 A.M. to discover that my 9:10 A.M. flight will now leave at 12:38 P.M.. Too short a time to leave and return, but a long wait nonetheless.

We arrive in Las Vegas 4 hours late and miss our first 2 meetings. The 3rd I get to with minutes to spare. Then I rush to another hotel to do 3 solid hours of prattling about our wonderful software. When it's over and after midnight by my clock, we go to dinner with the President, Publisher, and Sales guy from PC World at the Top of The World. Wonderful view, very late for poor Randy.

But we're in Vegas, so we have to spend at least some time in the Casino. I'm not much of a gambler (risk taker, yes, gambler, no), but I'd received a complete tutorial of the game "Let It Ride" from a friend. After 2 hours, I actually got up having gained $37.

Total day from getting up to back to bed: 23 hours.

After a few spent sleeping, more meetings then a flight back. Home around 11:30 P.M.

Back at the office at 8 A.M. to discover 85 real, non-spam items to deal with in my email inbox.

Sometimes, it would be nice to be needed just a little less.

Memory From Your Milk Jug

Last summer on the beach, sitting looking at the stars, our conversation turned to the future. We pass through Kitty Hawk on our way to Buxton and vacation within sight of the famous Cape Hatteras lighthouse.

My daughters marveled at the technological progress of not just the last hundred years since that first flight, but on what's occurred since I left high school in 1978. They wondered what life might be for them in the next 20 or 30 years.

And I told them, without hesitation, that they ain't seen noth'n yet.

For instance, here's an article at newscientist.com: Plastic memory promises cheap, dense storage.

Sounds like pretty useful stuff. But I don't think one can imagine the impact of nanotech, bio-engineering, new materials.

Now I ask you, are our lives that very much different that those who have gone before over this last 10,000 years?

Hell yes.

A Glass Of Wine With You, Sir

Penny pointed me to the following article on Master & Comander

An interesting article, but unfortunately wrong. Way off. Sorry, Mr. Nevius, but you've missed the point.

I've been wondering for some time about two things. Would the movie be anything but "inspired" by the books I love so much. AND would the movie reviewers and critics bother to read the books. I'm less concerned about the first than the second.

The movie must stand on its own - I'm hoping it will be fun and not too unconnected from the characters as laid out by Mr. O'Brian. But the books are not, I must insist, a simple collection of seafaring novels. The Napoleonic Wars were NOT a footnote in history. For the most part, the readers of these novels have no desire to actually experience life on one of these voyages. It was at best unpleasant and dangerous. The books are not arcane and filled with impenetrable jargon. OK, well, they are, but that's part of the humor - got to read it to get it.

You see, these books are adventures. They tell a great, thumping story of war and adversity overcome. There's sea battles, storms, spies, and intrigue. There's romance, deceit, treachery, and triumph over incredible odds.

But what makes these books interesting is the development of these characters. Over the course of 20 books, really one long novel, we get to know Jack Aubrey and Steven Maturin. We really get to know them. They are amazing men, but far from perfect. Brilliant in their own environments, foolish in others. Weak, impulsive, jealous, compassionate, but most important, competent. These men know their jobs and that is always fascinating.

I recently read these novels again, not to experience the adventure once more, but to spend some more time with my friends. In a recent New Yorker interview, Quentin Tarinteno talked about "hang out" movies. The type of movie where you love the characters so much you watch them from time to time just to hang out and not feel lonely. Aubrey, Maturin, Killick, Bonden and all the crew are my friends and I enjoy spending time with them.

Another writer recently called these novels "anachronistic". Read the fucking books before you write about them! No, these are not Hornblower novels grown up. No, they're not a anachronistic mess like "The Alienist". O'Brian's characters don't know things they shouldn't in the early 1800's. Some of the funniest scenes are with Steven as a brilliant surgeon for the time, but who thinks that the naval officers are too concerned with cleanliness.

If you have not read them, please do yourself a favor and start. Don't try to force the story into something you know or think you know. Let Mr. O'Brian tell you the story at your pace. Steven Maturin will be at your side, clueless as you, as you try to make sense of the jargon and operation of a ship of the line.

And sure, go see the movie. Just ignore the critics. They haven't read the books and they don't know what they're talking about.

Fictional Places, Real Environments

In seeing Penny's recent post on Nero Wolfe it made me recall a surprise I had a year or so ago.

I was walking back to my hotel from Javits Convention Center in NYC when I spied this plaque on an otherwise nondescript building.

Someday I'll have to make a trip to Florida to the Bahia Mar marina and look slip F-18.

It's Not What You Know

I had a strange experience the other day. It was really more of a
realization that has lead to a long chain of thoughts.

Last Saturday night, we invited one of Diane's coworkers, his girlfriend and her kids (I'm not sure the word "family" applies, but that's essentially what it is) over to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas.

We all enjoyed the movie and after he asked, "Do you know how Penny doing? I had read about her surgery on her blog and hadn't seen anything since."

I assured him she was doing fine (as you can see from recent updates), but in that moment an entire chain of thoughts erupted. I've only met Brian twice, but he knows LOTS of stuff about me. He works with Diane. They are good friends and talk daily. Brian met Penny some time back and they are friends. Penny and I are close friends and have been for years. Penny has a blog and in it links to this blog.

QED: Brian could potentially know more about me than virtually anyone
else. Not all, not by a long shot, but lots.

Weird.

Of course, I know some of the details of his life, the kind of things that you'd expect to learn about the friend of a spouse, but that's only one point of contact. Brian has three, which puts him far ahead of a general reader of this blog.

Frankly, it doesn't bother me. It is, essentially, the writer's burden. Do your work well and people you don't know will eventually learn a great deal about you and everything you know, everyone you know. I can't and don't worry about it.

The tough but essential part: one can't care what people think about you. You can't control it, so don't try.

Early on in my training as a playwright I learned, to my horror, that I couldn't control every part of production. Even worse, the playwright can't control ANY part of production. I had the good fortune of a main season production at a major university. It was thrilling, until it was time to go see it. It was a very good production, but I wasn't in control. It made me nuts for a while, but once I learned that I couldn't direct the play, act all the parts, sew the costumes, paint the scenery, run the lights, pop the popcorn and sell the tickets AND be the entire audience, I was fine.

Actually, it's quite freeing. I write this stuff. You read it. We never meet.

Enjoy.

How To Overload A Book Shelf

If you don't know Gene Wolfe, you're missing one of the truly great living writers. This man is a master, someone who can tell you a story and with each step, each chapter, make you reconsider what you thought the story was about. Once you learn to listen, you'll learn amazing things.

And I see he has something new coming:
The Knight : Book One of The Wizard Knight.

If you have not read Wolfe, start with The Shadow of the Torturer. Let Mr. Wolfe tell you the story, don't try to force it into what you already think you know.

I have an entire bookshelf in my home office devoted, as I am, to Wolfe.

Here We Go, Into The Wild, Blue, Younder

Traveling for work this week, so posting is questionable (and yes, my posts are mostly questionable, but that's beside the point).

Talk about a mad trip. I leave from Columbus at 6 am Tuesday (which means I need to be to Port Columbus around 4:30 am). Thank god for Daylight Savings Time. I get to San Jose and rush to my first interview by Noon local time. Total of three all the hell over the place.

Three more appointments on Wednesday, then my return flight leaves around 10:30 p.m.. Puts me back into Columbus, if everything goes as planned, around 9:30 a.m. on Thursday.

Why do I do this? First, there's no good way to get back from the West Coast - just as well do the redeye. And Thursday night is "Beggars' Night", since having Trick or Treat actually on Halloween would be throwing our children to the devil or tempt them into delinquency.

So, long trip, short time. And next month I do the same thing to Vegas and back in less time!

Movies for Men

Penny and I have a long ranging discussion about movies and my assertion that there are some that speak specifically to men. I'm not talking about action movies, but movies that connect to men specifically and may leave women viewers uninterested and unappreciative.

One specific example is "Fight Club". Yes, there's explosions and punching, but that's not it. Penny disliked it strongly - I was surprised at how much I connected with it.

Another example is "The Unbearable Lightness of Being". No it's not about the nudity (very nice, though). There are moments when I really connect with the character that Daniel Day-Lewis portrays.

For both these movies and others like them, it's not that I want to be like these men, but I understand them.

Yesterday, Penny wrote:

Check out the latest J. Carroll column at sfgate.com.

Does this have anything to do with the fight Club discussion? i think we're probably not done with that yet, i can feel some more stuff trying to form itself at the back of my consciousness...

And after some thought, I replied.

Yep, Mr. Carroll is on it.

It may get down too a bunch of visceral emotions, which if expressed poorly, sound sexist and boorish.

Perhaps it's like this: at our core, men understand that women, females in general, are stronger and tougher than us. Able to endure more pain and stress and better suited to work out the details. Of course men and women are different, but what we also know is that they're better.

What we also suspect is that men, males, are also MORE emotional than women. Yes, women are better able to express emotions, but they also seem to tolerate them more. Emotions are frightening and are better mastered. At least that's what our instincts tell us. Don't get out of control. Don't get carried away. Find ways to yell and shout that don't end up in people getting killed.

Why do women long survive the death of their mates while men often quickly die? It's not that they can't fend for themselves, certainly not any more. But the pain and the loss overcome them.

It all boils down to this: I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

In the company of men there is a comfort in belonging. There's a shared, instinctive pleasure at the demonstration of a mastered skill, regardless of it's useful value. We grope around for a way to express what we're feeling and it doesn't fully connect with the language parts. But when we see it, in a movie, in a novel, we connect.

Where's Mr. Pinker when you need him?

To which she replied:

Further thought -- oblique series of associations: in the movie Moonstruck, the character played by Olympia Dukakis asks several times throughout the films what makes men act the way they do? (She's in a particular situation). And she comes up several times with the answer: because they are afraid of death. She tells her husband of many years, finally, Cosmo, you're gonna die no matter what you do. Accept it.

and then:

I just went to your web site, realizing I hadn't read it yet today. This was AFTER I wrote the email about Moonstruck. And there you are, on the theme from a different side...

Amazing

Yes, we men are deeper than we appear.

So, if I were King of the forest, the first thing I would do is abdicate and hand things over for the women to run.

A Dream Of Dying

And now we turn in our hymnals once again to a song by brother Paul Simon

American Tune: "And I dreamed I was dying
And I dreamed that my soul rose unexpectedly
And looking back down at me
Smiled reassuringly
And I dreamed I was flying
And high up above my eyes could clearly see
The Statue of Liberty
Sailing away to sea
And I dreamed I was flying
"




Last night I went to sleep with a pain in my back, a kidney stone. Not enough to medicate myself into oblivion, though I probably should have. A strong drink may have helped as well. But I was determined to be stoic and quickly went to sleep.

But the pain was such that it trapped me in a dream, one that seemed to extend the whole night. It may have only been seconds, but the dream ran on and on.

In it I was dying. Confined too bed, weak, and the pain clear, in that same spot. Family, friends, strangers came to my bedside, on and on. The living and the dead visited me.

And such was the trap of that dream that I find it hard to escape now awake.

August 19, 1992

After Life

Aaron squinted as the spotlight swept over the crowd and he felt the approaching sensation of a wild sneeze. He continued to clap, then as the sensation grew, he pressed his forefinger to the spot under his nose and the urgency subsided. He sniffed, then stood, trying to clap in rhythm with the lead singer. He felt the twinge again and pressed the spot. Too late. He sneezed with surprising ferocity, and then jerked from the simultaneous burst of pain in his chest. It was stunning. So sharp and piercing, then gone.  He slumped back against his wife, then on to the isle between the seats. He could still see the elderly black man on his left. The man was still clapping. He looked down at Aaron and shook his head as Aaron’s vision blurred and dimmed.

“You sleepy, sugar?”

Aaron looked over at the old woman that sat close to him on the couch. He shuddered uncontrollably. The darkness and sudden silence of the room made his heart pump wildly in fear and surprise. He looked at the woman again and closed his eyes. When he opened them again nothing had changed.

“Grandma? What happened? I…” 

Aaron started to stand, but his grandmother put her arm around him. She looked frail, but she pulled him easily against her shoulder.

“You’re just tired sugar. You’ve had a big time and you’ll be all ready to rest soon. Let me read you this little story while you calm down.” 

She reached down to the side of the couch and pulled out a thin, old book. The colors on its tattered cover were fading and the corners were worn through, exposing the cardboard beneath.

Aaron threw his arms around his grandma and hugged her close, squeezing his eyes closed.

“Grandma! I didn’t think…” his breathing was fast and pained. Tears formed and ran down his cheeks, his throat tightened. 

He sobbed. “Grandma, I’m scared. I don’t want to die.”

“Shush.” She made soft noises and held him close. “I know. It was a big time, wasn’t it?”

Aaron raised his head and wiped the tears out of his eyes, still finding it hard to breath deeply. He looked around. Her living room was dark, but as he remembered it. The blinds were closed and curtains drawn. It was a room comfortably full of furniture. Books and magazines were in neat piles next to each chair or resting place. The black, Bakelite phone sat on the corner table, nearly buried beneath the … He looked up. Behind the couch where he sat was the huge mirror. Above it hung his grandfather’s flintlock rifle. The same rifle that now hung over Aaron’s mantle, in his own home. His throat tightened again.

He turned back and looked at her. His grandma smiled at him and pulled him close again. Aaron felt the pain slowly slide away and he breathed deeply and easily.

“Let me just read you a little and then you can rest.”

Aaron smiled up at her.

“I’m glad you’re here. It all happened so fast.”

“Shush, Aaron. Let’s not worry about that. I just want to ease your mind. You’ve been a good boy. Here.” She helped him climb up into her lab. She settled the book in front of him. Her arms enfolded him as she gently settled her chin on the top of his head.

Aaron looked down at the book. He ran his hand over the cover, smoothing a torn flap. His tears began again and he covered his eyes with his hands. Grandma pulled his head back on her shoulder and opened the little book.

“This is the story of Whatnot,” she told him. The picture was a pastel blur. He wiped his eyes again, but couldn’t clear them of the tears. She read slowly, but without effort.

“Whatnot woke one day and announced to his mother, ‘Mama, today I’m gonna go see what lives down in the tall grass.’”

Aaron heard the dry, brittle page turn. He blinked his eyes and could see a little better. A green and brown vista was painted across the open pages of the book. In the lower left corner was Whatnot, he guessed.

“Whatnot walked all morning through the forest till he came to the big field. It was wide and he couldn’t even see to the other side. He wasn’t sure if there was another side. Whatnot heard the tall grasses rustle softly in the breeze. He stood and looked out into the field a long time.”

Aaron lifted his head to see the book better. 

“Eventually, Whatnot summoned up his courage and walked out into the grass. At first it came up to his knees. It was cool and damp and tickled the backs of his legs.” She turned the page.

“Soon, the grass was up to his waist. He ran his hands across the tops of the wide blades has he walked.  Before long, the grass was up to his shoulders. Whatnot stopped and looked back at the forest. The trees stood high above the field. The trees seemed to go on forever. The forest was a good home, he thought.”

Aaron breathed deeply. He was tired. He hadn’t felt this way when he’d driven with Emily to the amphitheater. It was still early, but he felt like he could close his eyes and be gone in an instant. He struggled to pay attention, to keep his eyes open.

“…and wiggled its nose. Whatnot backed away and left the little rabbit alone. ‘So a rabbit lives in the tall grass.’”

Grandma looked down at him.

“You drifting away, sugar? I can stop here. It’s all right.”

Aaron smiled. 

“No, please, I want to hear it all.”

Grandma smiled.

“Just a bit more then.” She flipped through the remaining pages.

“All right, there isn’t much more to go.”

Aaron closed his eyes and listened to her read, pronouncing every word carefully, almost singing the dialogue softly. Aaron jerked, almost gone.

“… and I didn’t mean to bother you.’ He said. So he backed carefully away, then turned and ran as hard as he could. ‘Lion’s live in the tall grass too!,’ he said.”

Grandma paused.

“You’re not scared, are you sugar?”

“No, Grandma,” Aaron mumbled, “I’m not scared.” 

She squeezed him again. 

“Good. Then that’s enough. You were a good boy and you had a big time. I knew you would. I’m very proud of you.”

Aaron could no longer raise his eyelids, but he felt the warm spot of emotion in his chest. He tried to speak, but his grandma held him tight as he muttered in protest.

“Time to rest,” she said and he heard her switch off the light. In the dark he felt her close and reassuring. 

“The end,” she said, and closed the book.

An Ageless Project

Tripped across this one today: the ageless project.

Of course, I signed right up, shameless self promoter that I am. But I'm not sure how useful it is. I am pleased to see that all bloggers aren't 20 years old (or worse, 13 year old girls). And I once again confirmed that most blogs I find aren't terribly interesting.

You see, for me, age was important. Age and experience. When I left grad school at 25 with a "terminal" degree in playwrighting, I knew that I didn't really have anything to say. I wasn't mature enough, both as a person and a writer, to put down anything that wasn't all surface. I knew I needed time. At 25, when asked, I called myself a playwright. See? I have the paperwork to back it up and this nifty certificate. I just needed more time to make it true.

How long? Looks like about 20 years.

Now I'm feeling more in control of my "instrument". My picture of the universe is clearer and more verified. I've had enough time to make mistakes, get a few things right, and slowly fill in the gaps in my education and reading that 19 years of formal education left.

So, who is this guy, Randy Murray, at 43 years old? Ask me what I do and I can give you several answers. I'm an executive in the software industry with nearly 20 years experience in marketing and development. I'm a husband and father with 2 daughters who are bright, talented, and have phenomenal prospects.

But ask me what I am.

I am a writer. I don't think you'll see any plays out of me for a while, but I still think in those terms - it's excellent training. I write short fiction and will on occasion, publish a story or two here. I consider a novel from time to time, but haven't committed to finishing one. Yet.

And I write this journal. This is not a "throw-away" activity. It's not pencil sharpening or warming up. This activity is an important outlet, a publishing outlet, and perhaps a small audience for me as a writer. I value it.

Oooh - Fun With iTunes

Here's a little something nifty to work with the new iTunes music store - one can link directly into it to a specific song.

Here's the link I made to point to the cartoon song I've been harping about:



Fun.

Nitpickers and Other Idiots

I spend a good portion of my waking hours working for a software company. It's a small one, so I wear as many hats as I can stack on. Marketing is supposed to be my job, but I run our customer services as well. So as you might suspect, I get to hear, sometimes directly, from unhappy people.

That's OK. When you work in the sausage factory, you know what's in there. You try to make people happy, and for the most part, you can. But there's always a group that can't be made happy. In fact, the only thing that makes them happy is complaining.

I saw this clearly yesterday from the outside - thankfully not my product for once. Apple announced its Windows version of iTunes and the iTunes Music Store. I'm a long time Mac user and am well familiar with both - great product and service. Then, minutes after the 1 PM presentation was over I began to see threads on sites like Metafilter (do your own damn linking) with reports complaining about the download size "why 19 megabytes for an MP3 player" and the performance, "it's painfully slow - no way I could use it - I can't even move or resize the window".

Lots of complaints. Fast.

OK, so I walked next door where someone was downloading the installer. It is 19 mb, but it's not just and MP3 player. That installer includes Quicktime 6.5, which is software for audio and video playback, the iTunes software itself, that does play mp3s, but also catalogs audio, does internet radio, provides "smart list" organization of your musics (very cool) AND does CD burning - which on Windows has always been a crap shoot.

So it's a lot of software, doing a lot of complex things - stop your bitching.

Next, Corey, sitting next door, completes the download in less than 2 minutes (get off dial-up already, it's 2003) and clicks through the installer - very simple. iTunes fires up, looks exactly like the Mac version. He clicks on the title bar and whips the window around the screen. Clicks on the corner and drags the window smaller and bigger. No problem. One click and there's the music store.

So are these posts lies? No, for the most part. It's just that the posters are idiots. They don't read the readme. They complain about things the manufacturer can't control ("why doesn't Apple let me use this in Canada" - it's not Apple, it's the copyright holders). And they complain to get noticed.

Apple is only the example - it happens to everyone. I just get tired of it from time to time.

Underrated But Famous

I like Clint Eastwood. And I think that he's not received his due recognition as a director because of his perception as a tough guy actor. But he is a terrific director. I give you "Unforgiven" as an example. I've not yet seen "Mystic River", but the reviews are coming in strong.

Then there's this: Clint Eastwood on politics and the movies:

"'I knew I was in place for two years and I had absolutely no desire to present myself' for re-election, he said. 'I was able to direct two movies during my mandate without failing in my duties as mayor. Everyone imagined me on course for the White House, especially with a former actor, Ronald Reagan, in power. But I love cinema too much for that.' "

Good for you, Mr. Eastwood.

This Just In: Boobies Are OK

My friend Penny took the time to respond to my muddle headed and testosterone addled musing on the "Boobies for Breast Cancer". Once again and as I've said before: you should listen to her.

More and more I feel like the character in Paul Simon's "You Can Call Me Al."

He looks around, around .....
He sees angels in the architecture,
Spinning in infinity,
He says, Amen! and Hallelujah!"

Don't know why. Just do.

Kelly Mayhew, R.I.P.

Yesterday a friend and college, Kelly Mayhew, passed away. He'd been in hospice for the last few days, so it wasn't a surprise. He fought and lost the battle with cancer for over long two years.

I met Kelly in 1999. For two years he worked as our in-house graphic designer and reported directly to me. He was talented and fast, an unusual quality for a designer. He had a wide ranging career, including work for Disney. He was also the designer for the logo for Heinz Field, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Two years ago, just before he learned of his cancer, I had to fire him in a round of job cuts and typical for Kelly, he expressed sympathy for me in having to make the call.

Kelly was one of the good guys. I spoke with him just last week. He could no longer walk, but still wanted to work. It is some comfort to me that I'd been able to supply him with a steady supply of free lance jobs. Lately, the jobs didn't have deadlines.

I've got few enough friends that I can't afford to lose any of them. My thoughts are with his family and loved ones as we all prepare for life without Kelly.

Getting Old (but not that old)

I was born in 1960, which made me too young for the summer of love. Didn't matter. I was raised in a strict religious community, so no free love'n for me, even if I'd been old enough!

No regrets there, just fodder for perspective. I also did all of my dating between 1978 and 1981. Just enough to give me some rather painful disco memories (god, how clueless I was), just get the hang of asking out girls, then married!

That also put me safely monogamous for the last 22 years, protected from nasties like HIV and Herpes. I shudder to think about me trying to date again. Yikes. Happily married, thank you, and I'll just stay that way if I have anything to say about it.

But that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy looking at a pleasing female form. I enjoy it a great deal. I just don't know what to make of this: The Second Annual Blogger Boobie-Thon for Breast Cancer.

It's an excellent cause. I'm well aware of the problems. My sister-in-law is a survivor of breast cancer. I'm the father of two daughters. I'm concerned about their health as well.

It's just that I wonder about tying the two together. I'm not sure it's an outright bad idea. Frankly, there are some excellent "racks" displayed there. I guess I'm more surprised that so many are willing to lift their shirts and send in photos. Sure, many are anonymous, for the most part. Maybe I'm just sensing a bit of the generation gap. Always been a bit of a square.

Are young women really that much more sexually open and available than they were 20 years ago? I'm not concerned about myself - that's not a problem I have to face. But how do you prepare a kid for life like that?

You know, that whole burka thing is growing on me.

Don't 'cha Just Love The Onion?

Now there's a job I'd love to have. Reporter for The Onion.

The Onion | IBM Emancipates 8,000 Wage Slaves

Won't someone free me?

Join The Tribe

Here's something interesting, at least it has the potential: Tribe.net.

I'm not overly concerned about privacy - my public persona and private are pretty much one - at least for now.

If you join up, link me as a friend!

Something A Bit More Pleasant To Think About

Diane says I can't quit my job and operate a theater and convention center out of our basement, so I decided to turn my mind to other pleasant thoughts. Here's something delightful from the New York Times.

88 Keys, Many Languages Be sure to see the slideshows and listen to the audio.

I myself am a "hack" piano player. I can read music, but I have no theory. Good ear, poor training. So I play for my own enjoyment, and not enough at that. A couple of years ago I got the bug and upgraded from the really quite good Baldwin "Hamilton" studio piano, to a wonderful Baldwin baby grand. Mine is the model M1 Artist Series in traditional ebony.

Sure, if I had the $$$ I'd have looked at the Steinway, but frankly, it's too much piano for me. The Baldwin is an excellent instrument, far superior to the cheap Korean and Japanese pianos. It has a rich, powerful sound and terrific feel.

If there's time, I'll spend some time at that keyboard tonight.

How Much Straw Can This Camel Haul?

I've been afraid to have my blood pressure checked lately. A few weeks
ago, the day I had another kidney stone attack and I learned my
grandmother had passed away it was something like 158/120. In fact, in
the last couple of months the job stress has been steadily mounting.
We closed a remote office and laid off a lot of good people and close
friends, then a few weeks later we changed our management structure and
laid off another friend - I was part of the decision making process on
both, so my stress has been high all along.

Then this past Friday was a doozie. I had a pretty good day planned,
end of the week, looking forward to the weekend. As I came through the
door just before eight I was greeted with "the web site's down".

OK, no big deal, that happens from time to time. I checked my email
and saw the site reports and a message from the ISP - the main server's
drive had crashed and they were replacing. Still no problem. I had
two separate servers, one with the FTP and SQL (the real data of the
system) and a second with the web site and processing structures -
that's the one that had crashed. I was also confident they could fix
that as well, since not two months in the past I had specifically
requested daily backups.

Or so I thought. They informed me mid morning that that drive was not
backed up. Hadn't been since July, when they changed their backup
procedures. And their backup rotation had wiped out any backups.

So I began reloading both primary sites from my machine, but that was
only HTML. I started looking for other backups and calling for outside
help. My contract programmer was on the road, but would be back in an
hour. He then called me and told me his girl friend had been in an
auto accident and he couldn't help. I called for the original site
developer, a former employee, Jamie, and left messages everywhere. And
the clock continued ticking - our online store generates on average
between $1,000 and $2,000 per day and it wasn't looking good to get
back online soon, maybe days.

Jamie left a message that he could help around 4 p.m. and that left me
fairly confident, but I soon learned he didn't have any personal
backups. I met him at the office, called in the boss and we started
tearing the place apart, looking for backup CDs. No luck. Jamie went
home to search some more and the boss kept looking. Before I went
home for medication I made a series of calls to get the drive packaged
and sent to a drive recovery specialist, a move that could cost up to
five grand.

Around ten Jamie called and let me know that basic operations were
restored, then the boss called that he had found a backup - only two
years old. With that we were back by Saturday morning. I was able to
call off the drive recovery, but we still are missing some
functionality we've added - I don't know the prognosis of getting it
back.

So, we pull another one out of the fire. Not so much fun, though.