Shore Leave

I'm taking a brief break to enjoy the holidays with my family. Back soon!

Apparently, watching the movie was too much trouble.

Ah, another idiot that didn't bother to do basic research:

Giant robots in the backyard | CNET News.com: "It's been a common theme in U.S. science fiction, too, although typically on a more human scale. Robert Heinlein's 1959 novel 'Starship Troopers,' and the 1997 film made from the book, featured soldiers with powerful exoskeletal armor that dramatically augmented their strength."

No, the movie didn't have soldiers in exoskeletons. It was a big letdown for what was an otherwise rollicking B grade scifi yarn.

I sometimes wonder where they find these writers.

Hal. Open the voting booth curtain, Hal.

The Diebold Variations

Evidence Of The Existance Of Evil

I grew up in rural Illinois and I remember when the first Wal-mart arrived in the middle 70's. It was something of a cultural event. A Saturday night out included a trip to Wal-mart.

But I've never liked the place. Unlike Target which is clean, well lit, has wide isles and inexpensive and attractive merchandise, Wal-mart is crowded and often dirty with jumbled shelves. It feels like a trip to the State fair.

Down and Out in Discount America: "Al Zack, who until his retirement in 2004 was the United Food and Commercial Workers' vice president for strategic programs, observes that appealing to the poor was 'Sam Walton's real genius. He figured out how to make money off of poverty. He located his first stores in poor rural areas and discovered a real market. The only problem with the business model is that it really needs to create more poverty to grow.' That problem is cleverly solved by creating more bad jobs worldwide."

One has to spend a few years in corporate America to learn that there can be good companies, but there can also be truly bad ones, ones with evil intent. In a past job I had touches with both corporate operations at Enron and Wal-mart. Both, it was clear even 10 years ago, had bad intent. They were not a good partners for anyone. Both planned their business to drive all of the positive benefits to themselves and gloried in crushing other businesses. One has reaped the whirlwind. The other is still going to and fro in the world.

The community where I live has fought them off, but it was a protracted legal battle. The only thing that can stop their downward crush on the minimum wage worker is to unionize their workforce. Make them compete on a level playing ground.

Ah!

William Gibson: "And then there are those episodes of history that unravel with the breathtaking and utterly unexpected abruptness of a cashmere miniskirt catching on a chainlink fence... "

So nice.

The Things One Learns

What one misses when one is raised in a barn!

SERVING & STORING PORT @ Into Wine: "Another tradition provides for, in the event that the decanter does not come full circle, back to the host, a proper means of getting it there. As it is bad 'port-iquette' to ask directly for the decanter, the host instead is to ask the individual closest to the decanter, if he knows the bishop of Norwich or other village in England. The question is not meant to get an answer but action – namely the immediate passing of the port. If however, the unfortunate offender should answer the question by saying 'No,' he should be told that 'the bishop is an awfully good fellow, but he never passes the port!' "

That's Twice

Come on, Bruce. You're a smart guy. Surely there's a FedEX office right around the corner.

Too bad you can't take these on planes

Or simply pack up 400 or so of them and check them. Or haven't you been watching Lost?

Exactly How Much Is This Costing Us?

CNN.com - U.S. missile defense test fails - Dec 15, 2004: "A target missile carrying a mock warhead was successfully launched as scheduled from Kodiak, Alaska, at 12:45 a.m. EST, in the first launch of a target missile from Kodiak in support of a full flight test of the system.

However, the agency said the ground-based interceptor 'experienced an anomaly shortly before it was to be launched' from the Ronald Reagan Test Site at Kwajalein Atoll in the central Pacific Ocean 16 minutes after the target missile left Alaska.

An announcement said the interceptor experienced an automatic shutdown 'due to an unknown anomaly.'"

Christ.

Missile defense is a pipe dream. It simply can't be done. And more simply, if it could be done missiles are one of the last things we have to defend against. How exactly is a missile defense system going to protect us against a U-haul truck packed with fertilizer and nuclear medical waste?

Yes, a nuclear weapon on a missile is a really bad thing. So spend the billions making sure none are pointed at us.

You might as well be white.

Emil Guillermo nailed this one. He caught my interest by talking about his 16 year old daughter - something I hold in common with him. But he does so much more with this column. The title of the post is a striking line from the article, a cause to take a moment and contemplate. I, like him, do not consider myself conservative. Mostly.

The Good Kind Of Conservative"At that point, my personal conservatism shows its limits. It's too selfish, and not broad enough for society at large. If you want justice, fairness and equality for all in an America that is diverse in race and thought, conservatism doesn't move fast enough. We need more yeses. There are too many nos."

Last night I went with Kathleen down to the Columbus Music Hall, a somewhat renovated (let's say converted) Edwardian firehouse, where every Monday night Vaughn Weister leads his Famous Jazz Orchestra through three sets of big band magic. Kathleen goes there every Monday and Vaughn graciously invites her up to play string bass for a few numbers. Last night it was snowing, so I used it as an excuse to tag along. I couldn't be prouder.

She's beautiful and talented and talking about making a run at getting in to Juliard. I have no idea if she has what it takes, but I support her in trying. I must admit I'm a little nervous at the prospect of her moving to New York and immersing herself into the Jazz scene, but I know there will be some terrific people there to look out for her if she can make it.

But she's still 16 and that means sometimes I have to be aggressively conservative. I don't like her dating and so far she hasn't. I am vocally opposed to a "friend" who is a college freshman that stays in frequent contact. Nice kid, but a college boy has no business around my high school junior daughter. You want to see how quickly I switch from my support for global pacifism to direct and violent intervention then keep heading down that path, mister.

My younger one turns 12 on Friday and has been chafing for months at our rule that she had to wait for her birthday to get her ears pierced. When both turn 18 they have my blessings and their conduct is none of my business. I wish them to be happy and healthy and near to me as possible so I can spoil my grandchildren rotten.

My family values are extremely protective and hardly liberal. That's another reason that I think that government is best at only two levels - one federal and remote with virtually no limits to behavior and a second, as local as possible that provides the services that directly touch me, like educating my children and picking up the trash. I'll deal with the behavior, thank you.

It's About Validation

Something about this strikes me as the shape of things to come.

Wired News: Home-Brew IPod Ad Opens Eyes

First, this self-made ad is very good. Now take a moment and think of a world where virtually anyone can make an advertisement for their favorite products. Why would people do that? Because convincing someone else to buy what you have (or want) is validation of your desires.

And I think it goes to the heart of a fundamental assertion I made nearly 10 years ago when I tried my hand at starting and running a business. "People want to be right more than they want to be rich or recognized."

The web is a medium of personality. What is interesting is opinion and individuality. That's why blogs are taking off. And in them some of us will talk about the things we buy and how much we love or hate them. Smart businesses will ride the wave. Others will attack and fight this, which will be ultimately self defeating.

Ain't No Too Sides About it

Sometimes I despair about the South.

School Defends Slavery Booklet "Principal Larry Stephenson said the school is only exposing students to different ideas, such as how the South justified slavery. He said the booklet is used because it is hard to find writings that are both sympathetic to the South and explore what the Bible says about slavery.

'You can have two different sides, a Northern perspective and a Southern perspective,' he said."

Let me put it simply: there are not two sides to this issue. Slavery was a great human evil. There is no evidence that the South would have soon stopped the practice. Those that used the Bible to justify slavery were wrong to do so.

And although there may have been many reasons for the Civil War, the issue of slavery was paramount. The distraction of the "states rights" issue was simply another smoke screen to prolong the economic benefit of this terrible sin.

I sigh as I think of this and it leads me to radical thoughts. You know what? State have long lost their usefulness. I'm a citizen of the United States not at citizen of Ohio. I'm not an Illinoisan because I was born there. I'm an American. I'll live wherever I damn well please and I don't care to deal with 50 different sets of peculiar laws. It's time to give up the distinction. I only see the need for a Federal government, and a local one (very local if you ask me).

Doug Wilson and Steve Wilkins, the authors of this pamphlet win my Evil Idiots of the Month award.

Ain't Nobody's Business If I Do

Christ, I'm tired of this nonsense.

MSNBC - Philly officials may ban kids from later PG films

Now you have to understand - I'm a big stickler for movie and event behavior. I HATE people who talk and make noise through movies. It even annoys me when they blab through the trailers. And I detest people that bring little kids to movies the have no business being in.

But I absolutely loath making laws about behavior. So, call me a big libertarian. What I think this country needs is a massive reform effort to strip all behavioral controls short of violent acts out of the system. It's none of your business what I drink or smoke, who I have sex with, or if I decide to take kids to a movie.

I do support movie theaters enforcing civil behavior and silence. If a theater wanted to say, "no kids under 13 after 7 PM" then fine - I'd really like that. I like it when a restaurant has a no smoking policy. But no laws.

Hey, you in government. Keep your eye on the ball. It's your job to provide for the public welfare. Make sure that we're safe, provide a safety net, and have a level playing field to keep the greedy bastards from trying to put us all back into feudal serfdom. Then go home.

My Dream Job

Some people love The Onion (I do too). But for shear comic genius, you have to tip your hat to the Weekly World News.

There are times when I threaten to quick my job, renew my subscription to Mother Earth News and survive by growing tomatoes on the roof of my house. In other times of whimsy I long for a job writing for the WWN. What a joy it would be to write up any weird, funny, or outright strange thing that strikes me and see it in my local supermarket the next week.

Of course, sometimes they just report the news AFRICAN TRIBE WORSHIPS SALMA HAYEK'S BREASTS!

Brilliant, But Just A Theory

This is both funny and thought/anger provoking: Textbook disclaimer stickers

Creationism is another attempt by the religious right to undermine our entire society and create the theocracy they long for. But I understand this: they must fight for this.

Why? Because "biblical literalists" have set themselves up with a completely untenable position and organization of their beliefs. They can't even consider evolution. If they did, they'd have to admit that the bible is not 100% literal. Then they'd have to start considering all the other things that may not be exactly as they are presented in a version of these writing edited by committee 400 years ago. And they'd also have to admit that the bible isn't the most ancient of human writings.

They can't consider that human civilization stretches back not 2,000 or 4,000 but more than 10,000. And humans completely identical to ourselves have been around far, far longer.

The issue is really quite simple. Evolution is one of the great intellectual achievements of human kind. It can be observed. The evidence is in virtually every field of study. And as the stickers point out, it's not just a "cockamamie theory", but the best explanation that we have for how things work. No other explanation or theory exists to compete with it. Period.

Creationism is a belief. It is an expressed preference. "I wish it weren't this way. Here's the way I wanted it to be."

Strangely enough, the Star Trek universe supports creationism. In the mythology or backstory of the multiple series, we discover the the universe was "seeded" and guided by a massively advanced progenitor alien race in the far distant past. That's the clever way they explain that most aliens look just like us, but with bumpy foreheads and can have sex and cross-breed pretty easily. You'll also find that in the Star Trek universe that genetic engineering is forbidden because human's can't be trusted with it's awesome power, although atomic weapons and the much more powerful anti-matter and photon torpedoes are peachy. This is why we don't learn our science from TV and movies.

I'll Drink To That!

I am not a sophisticated or extremely experienced drinker, but I have learned a few things.

First, this is the only way to drink Irish Coffee:



To get the whole experience, you've got to visit the Buena Vista in San Francisco. I make a pretty good one, based on their recipe.

I came to drinking later in life than most and from a family of teetotalers. I don't drink much and hate paying the staggering prices at bars and restaurants. I'll drink a glass of wine with a meal. I enjoy the first refreshing long draught of beer on a hot day. But I don't drink more than two or three at a time. Frankly, one is enough. But I've also discovered I have a taste for and tolerance of sprits.

I take my whiskey and bourbon straight or with a splash of club soda. A tall vodka martini, up or on the rocks is heaven. I'm right with the British Navy and toss back my tot of rum in one (a little diet coke, if you must). Nothing fancy, thank you. Just a good quality scotch or cognac. Oh, and port! I'll pass up that piece of chocolate cake for that small glass or port any day.

What the Fark?

I like Fark.com - it's often funny and informative. But I too often forget that the net is largely run by children.

This thread makes it clear. It's pathetic, but funny too. Here we have a bunch of guys, self-admitted geeks, bemoaning the fact that they don't know how to attract women. Endless discussion on why they're still virgins, perhaps because they're too nice, too smart, or perhaps a little shy. The other guys get the girls because they're jerks and that's what women really want.

Or not. Come on, guys! You do hilarious photoshop contests. It's not that hard.

Captain Randy's Simple Rules For Attracting Women

1. Forget blaming it on jerks. Nobody likes jerks. What women find attractive is power.
2. No, it's not about confidence, it's about power and potential power. If you're doing something that interests you and doing it well and in public (see #5) women will respond to you. Part 2: it's not about money - money may bring power, but it's not having power that's important, it's the perception that you can get power and influence that makes you attractive. Power can be work related, civic, artistic. Power signals that you'd make a good mate or at least fun to hang out with for an evening. Part 3: you can not use your mastery of Star Trek trivia as a substitute for power. Or video game prowess. Or Monty Python quoting ability. Strangely enough, blogging well is very attractive to women (sorry girls, I'm happily married).
3. Don't be a slob. Christ, could you at least put on a clean shirt?
4. You're not that smart. Stop using you're enormous intelligence as an excuse. Intelligence is sexy and attractive. What is not attractive is a bunch of geeks hanging out together giggling about minutia. Just stop it.
5. Get out. Good, single, straight men are in short supply. Turn off the farking computer and go where other people are, where they're doing stuff. Doesn't matter what. Just stuff.
6. OK, confidence is good. Don't be afraid to be alone. Go places, dress well, be happy. Leave the rest of the geeks at home. Do not hang out with them.
7. Stop constructing the ideal of the perfect women off of internet porn. It's not helping you. Construct your ideals of attractive women by being out in public and seeing what's available. You might be pleasantly surprised at what you see.
8. When you do find yourself interested in a woman, ask for a date and be clear. Say it this way: "would you like to go on a date?" Don't set yourself up again for a "just friends" relationship. That way if she says no, you're cool and didn't waste your time. And if she says yes, give careful attention to rule number 9.
9. Touch her. Just a gentle touch on the back of the hand, the back of her arm. Show her that you are interested in her physically. Not touching shows that you are the eunuch boy that she can complain about all the jerks too. Haven't you had enough of that?
10. If you're under 20 years old, stop sweating this stuff. Nobody under 25 knows what they're doing.

It can work, boys. I've known some of the geekiest guys on the planet and they've managed to find women that love them.

Surprisingly Accurate

As seen on Every Fool:

Looks just like me, too. (although I suspect it's slightly more than 40% - I had to fix the blockquote tag.

You are 40% geek

You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator. Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend. You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines! Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals! You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

Mysteries? Hmm, is it a green one?

OK, as a work of art, maybe. But there's something about this that really bugs me.

A bookshop organized by color. "For one amazing week in November, Adobe Bookshop in San Francisco has agreed to allow its estimated 20,000 books to be reclassified by color. Shifting from red to orange to yellow to green, the books will follow the spectrum continuously, changing Adobe from a neighborhood bookshop into a magical library—but only for one week."

My wife hates it when I yell at the TV, but idiots piss me off. Some time ago we were watching a decorating show and the designer was so proud of a reading room where he'd organized all of the books based upon their colors. It immediately set me off.

I'm a lover of books, both as a reader and one who enjoys the art of the book itself. The book as an object holds special value to me. But to organize your shelfs by the color of the binding completely disregards the special nature of books and relegates them to knickknacks, disposable, valueless, pretty things. Arrange them to look pleasing. It matters not what's in them. It's as bad as the designers who load up a model home with Readers Digest Condensed Books and the cast offs from rummage sales.

Here's a secret about me. I judge people and their intellect by the books they read and keep in their homes. I watch what people are reading in restaurants and airports. Lots of my friends and acquaintances, good people, have no books and read very rarely. I find that a sad thing. I love visiting someone's home to discover a shelf of books. So rarely do I find walls full. It's a treat.

What can you tell about me by the books on my shelves? Well, on the ground floor when you enter the family room, you'll find a wall filled with books. You'll see a shelf of cookbooks and above it, three shelves of plays and books on theatre history and criticism. The middle section is overflowing with mysteries, some horror (but not much), American history, biographies, world history, and general literature (which has flowed over into the theater section). The third section is filled with books on religion, myth, philosophy, science, physics and math, and topped by a shelf of comedy. Next to a big comfy leather chair and ottoman you'll find a table which currently holds a copy of Remembrance of Things Past (or Searching for Lost Time, if you prefer) borrowed from Hedwig, a slim volume labeled "The Emperor's Handbook" which is a version of Marcus Aurelius writings, and whatever else I'm currently reading.

In the guest bathroom you'll find a small stack of books, currently a volume of Ogden Nash's poetry and a volume of Francis Bacon, along with the delightful "I Saw Esaw".

In my den on the second floor you'll find another wall of books. One section is largely science fiction, but one shelf is naval fiction mainly occupied by Patrick O'Brian. The middle section is reference works, primarily, the the third contains science fiction anthologies and paperbacks and general fiction. And another comfy chair and a stack of new things to read.

Oh, and I also have a personal rule: never leave the house without something to read.

Elsewhere in the house you'll find shelves with children's literature. The girls each have shelves of their own books.

I'm willing to be judged by these books. But to take them and arrange them by their color shape or size is a travesty. A bookstore it to me a sanctuary, a chapel. Arranging the pews so one can roller-skate in the middle may be ecstatically pleasing, but it's also disrespectful and sacrilegious.

Einsteinian Pain Waves

Thank god for the internet. My modest education and years of reading completely missed this important universal force.

Wired News: Cattle, the Research Catalyst "Professor Bajaj is from the Delhi University's department of physics and astrophysics. He has spent 14 years investigating the effects of animal slaughter on earthquakes, air crashes and other disasters. 'The killing of animals causes natural and manmade disasters,' Bajaj said. 'But, since the cow is so useful to human beings, its slaughter causes exceptional seismic activity. The cries of the animals go down to the earth through Einsteinian pain waves.'"

Perhaps I should mail off for a PhD in physics and astrophysics. Got to admit, that would look pretty cool on my business cards. "Doctor Captain Randy".

The Devil You Know

So. John Ashcroft, that deeply deluded and evil man, is resigning.

Why does that worry me? It's hard to think of anyone worse in that position of great power.

What worries me is that maybe Ashcroft is too soft for the tastes of this administration and their masters from the dark side. Maybe they want to get someone really effective in there.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

And that worries me, too. Why is Soviet era humor now so fitting for the US?

Get Your Facts Straignt

I'm of two minds on Michael Crichton. Sometimes he can produce a reliable beach read. He certainly makes entertaining TV and movies. For the most part. But there are other times, such as his novel "Prey" which could benefit from a strong editor and a swift kick in the behind.

But he is one smart dude, evidenced by this speach:

Why Speculate? A talk by Michael Crichton International Leadership Forum La Jolla April 26, 2002
"Those are the lengths you have to go to if you want to be certain that your information is correct. But when I tell people this story, they just stare at me incomprehendingly. The find it absurd. They don't think it's necessary to do all that. They think it's overkill. They live in the world of MSNBC and the New York Times. And they've forgotten what real, reliable information is, and the lengths you have to go to get it. "

He's right, speculation is entertaining, but far too easy. Much harder, it is, to speak clearly about what happened before (said in my best Yoda imitation). And talking and writing about the recent election is difficult. And not so entertaining about what dark days and events lie ahead.

Here's what I think about this election. Most people, including most Americans, are fucking idiots. They know nothing about the reality of the universe and the lives they live. They remain lost in a world of myth and speculation all laid out for them as fact. It's not about liberals and conservatives, it's about Thinkers and Believers.

And here's the important part: believing is a bad thing. Belief forbids thought and insight and understanding. Thinking requires all of these things and demands the very careful checking and processes to makes sure our information is reliable, makes sure our theories work and describe the universe and the lives we lead to the best of our abilities.

You know what? Today isn't any darker than yesterday. It's the same damn place it's always been. It's almost always been this battle, but there are more thinkers today than there have ever been. We're making progress.

At least that's what I believe.

Comforting Words From Captain Randy

You're fucked.

Royally fucked. Bury the family silver in the back yard. Hunker down and see you in four years.

Actually, I'm more than a little interested to see if they'll now let the mask slip, reveal the slithering evil inside. Will events and circumstances keep them restrained, or will they let loose with a barrage of repression, trying to shape the country after their own desires for the next fifty years?

It's a bad time, folks. But it's made clear that a full half of the country wants it exactly this way. I'm beginning to wonder if a little class warfare isn't a good idea after all.

More, after my coffee . . .

OK, here's the bright side. Bush will now have to deal with his mess in Iraq. Had Kerry won, he would have been saddled with it and I don't think there's a solution that doesn't turn out badly for everyone. So it will be completely in Bush's lap.

And in the good news front. I can now get a drink (soon) in historically dry Westerville. I'm gonna need it.

Wearing My Sticker Proudly

My wait at the polls was only 45 minutes. I arrived right at a quarter to 10 and was out by 11. I voted, exercised my franchise, but somehow that didn't do much to ease the tension or my sense of impending doom.

Let's hope tomorrow brings clear, unambiguous good news.

Investing For (or By) Idiots

I'm either a savvy long-term investor or a rather lazy, stupid one. I
tend to hold stocks forever. I like picking good companies that I
believe in, then sticking with them as long as I still believe.

Cry, Beloved Apple
Stock / Jobs & Co. just made our columnist a tidy profit. So why is
selling the shares so damn hard?

Like Mr. Morford, I've owned Apple forever. I bought my first block
before the Newton came out - I'd been a Mac user since 1987 and saw the
Newton and handheld market as the brilliant future. OK, so the Newton
didn't work out, but the Palm did. But I still believed in Apple. I
bought another, larger block just when Jobs came back.

My broker thinks I'm a genius, but I just like the company. I've
thought hard about selling now and taking the profits, but here's why I
won't: I still believe in the company and think there's more growth
there.

And I like owning part of the company.

I did the same thing years ago, buying Blockbuster stock because they
were developing print-on-demand video. That never happened, but the
stock went up. Eventually, Paramount purchased blockbuster, then
Viacom bought them. All good. Now, Blockbuster's being spun back off.
And I'm staying with them. Now here's the paradox: I hate
Blockbuster. I don't rent videos/DVDs. I dislike there selection and
policies. But I think that there's big growth there and potential in
markets that they can compete in, like home delivery (i.e. Netflix),
and eventually wired delivery. And I have hopes that they'll compete
on discount sales, which they are well positioned for with their
stores, but have yet to enter. So, even though I don't like them as a
consumer, I understand their business and market and like them as an
investor. I'll have no problem selling when I think they're ripe.

My stock pick for the day? Buy a good mutual fund. Don't pick stocks.

We have a word for that in English

"We believe this emotion is known in English as schadenfreude."

Uh, no, not English. In fact, we don't have a single word for it.

Unless you refer to Mel Brooks, "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."

You know you should worry when . . .

Pat Robertson starts sounding like a reasonable person with good judgement.

CNN.com - Robertson: I warned Bush on Iraq casualties - Oct 19, 2004: "'You remember Mark Twain said, 'He looks like a contented Christian with four aces.' I mean he was just sitting there like, 'I'm on top of the world,' ' Robertson said on the CNN show, 'Paula Zahn Now.'

'And I warned him about this war. I had deep misgivings about this war, deep misgivings. And I was trying to say, 'Mr. President, you had better prepare the American people for casualties.' '

Robertson said the president then told him, 'Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties"

But then ol' Pat restores my faith in him and goes ahead and endorses Bush. Because even though Bush is completely certifiable, dangerous, and deaf to all criticism, he's still has "the blessing of heaven" on him. That's certainly a relief.

HBO Says "Screw You, Subscribers"

I really like HBO's original programming. I'm a big fan of "Deadwood". But I don't currently watch any of their movies - it's just too big a hassle to watch a movie when they want to show it to me.

I do, however, want to record their program, which I pay for, and watch it when AND WHERE I want to. It's my right, and it's legal.

But they're working against me. You too.

HBO freezes fair use; plugs analog hole

So screw them. HBO, you're cancelled. No more money from Captain Randy.

Not So Funny

I'm a big fan of William Gibson and I'm pleased to see he's speaking out and blogging again.

President Bush Answers Your Questions

Hedwig might not find this funny either. It hits far to close.

What scares me is this: I've always thought the worst of this administration, but they've continually shown that I'm not nearly cynical enough. They've disappeared prisoners in Afghanistan and Iraq. They continue to hold American citizens indeterminately and without access to lawyers. Should they win or steal the coming election, they'll rule as if they one by a landslide and an iron mandate.

Don't ask any questions, Billy.

That's Entertainment!

I just placed my order for the That's Entertainment! movie collection (Amazon - much better price than the local Best Buy). I'm hoping it arrives quickly.

Then, rather than watching the final presidential debate and the consequential spinning, I can seal myself up in my theater, pour myself a rather large dirty martini, and smile myself silly as I watch all the great moments of the MGM movie musicals in a truly grand motion picture extravaganza.

Sing along with me, won't you?

Rest In Peace, Mr. Reeve

I was deeply saddened this morning to learn of the passing of Christopher Reeve. He was both a fine actor and after his life altering accident, an inspiration and true hero.

Although many remember him only as Superman (and who could not?) I found him to be a talented actor. See his performance in "Remains Of The Day" to witness his clear and controlled performance.

I had really hoped to see him walk again.

As If I Didn't Hate Microsoft Already

Christ.

'iPod users are music thieves' says Ballmer - silicon.com

When did Karl Rove start working for Microsoft? Ballmer's comments are a massive smear at iPod users - backed up with nothing. Lies. It's viscous and mean. And it's an insult.

Microsoft is so greedy that they can't stand success anywhere but by themselves. I'm an iPod user - I'm still using my 1st generation 5 gig iPod - my daughter bought a 3rd generation 10 gig for herself. Not one song on either is stolen. Every one is either burned from CDs I own or from music I legally purchase online.

Oh. Wait. I didn't purchase any of that stuff from Microsoft. So let me restate what Ballmer was trying to say. "If you didn't buy it from us, you're stealing from us."

And directly to Mr. Ballmer. You can't see me right now, but I'm giving you the finger. Asshole.

Captain Randy Declares For Kerry

It's not exactly as if I had a choice.

I've been living under a cloud of dread since the 2000 election. I feared the worst from Bush and his gang and got exactly what I feared. War. Loss of civil rights. Massive national debt with nothing to show for it. A world teetering on the edge of generational warfare and inherently unsafe for travel outside our own borders. A deeply divided America.

And my sense of dread for the coming election is palpable. I couldn't bring myself to watch the debates - mainly because I can't stand listening to Bush.

Today is October 1. Here's my prediction. Kerry will begin to slowly pull ahead in the polls. Then Karl Rove and his team of thugs, successors of Lee Atwater (who if you believe in cosmic justice or karma, found that doing evil bounces right back at you - and was man enough to admit it at the end), will go nuclear on every type of smear, dirty trick and outright lies, striking fear wherever they can. There are already reports of "Push Polling" going on - the technique Rove uses to smear a rival like he did for John McCain "Would you still vote for McCain if you learned that he fathered a black child out of wedlock?". For Kerry he's using "Would you still vote for Kerry even though he's going to raise your taxes?"

Here's the facts, America. Rove and company think you are stupid. They believe they can manipulate you. When they're down, they don't stick to the fundamentals. They will do literally anything to win. They have before.

It's just too damn depressing.

But I stand firm and clear. I have hope. Bush is bad for America, bad for the world. Kerry is an intelligent and experienced man who will be dramatically better for all of us. I urge you to support him on election day.

But remember, if you're contacted by a pollster, lie. Let's make it a surprise landslide and make polling useless.

Scary Graphs and Incomprehensible Systems

I do it just to torture myself, but every day I visit this site:

Current Electoral Vote Predictor 2004

Regardless of your political leanings, this type of "predict the outcome" based on polling and projections is stomach churning. In the past few weeks the us map displayed there has shifted wildly.

I restate my advice on polls: lie. Polls are a fundamental invasion of privacy and a direct attempt to nail down the future. Resist! If you're approached, phoned, or mailed by a pollster, run away. Or better yet, take the poll and lie - take the opposite viewpoint from your actual one. Encourage your friends and relatives to do the same.

The only way to stop them is to make them wildly inaccurate. Still can't stop checking the damn site, though . . .

Light Speed In A Chevy Impala

Today is the release of the original 3 Star Wars movies on DVD. I just placed my order on Amazon, so I'll probably have to wait till next week. No problem there. I count myself among those that really enjoyed those movies, but didn't go nuts over them.

But there is an entire generation that went nuts over these films. They are most likely too young to have seen the original Star Wars in the theater, most likely first seeing it on their family VCR. Just like my daughter use to watch "The Little Mermaid" every day when we got home, they sucked it up.

I was 17 when the movie came out. That was an age where the hype you got built slowly. I remember hearing about it on the radio and went to see it by myself. It was a hoot, exciting and fun. On the drive back home I was lucky not to get ticketed as I made the jump to light speed in my lime green 4-door Chevy Impala.

But I was already a long time reader of science fiction. I'd seen many of the movie serials, including Flash Gordon, on TV. And I was a Star Trek fan from the first. So Star Wars was a continuation of the type of thing I enjoyed, not the source of it.

The more recent Star Wars movies are a disappointment. Frankly, they're just not any good. Oh, but the first is a joy.

Perchance To Dream

Ah, what wonderful things are dreams. But not magical or supernatural, I'm afraid.

Sweet dreams are made of this ... have we solved the Freudian riddle?: "Alternatively, the answer to the riddle of dreams may all be quite simple, mundane almost.

'I see them as the cinema of the mind,' said Dr Jim Horne of the sleep research centre at Loughborough University. 'They're there to keep the brain entertained during the tedious hours of sleep and have very little significance beyond that.' "

I somewhat agree with Dr. Horne, but I think that dreams help with sorting out our thoughts and experience. I think that they're our brain's way of telling itself stories. Some are "what if", some are historical dramas of our own lives or with us as a central figure.

I think this work also helps to explain why we love movies so much. Movies are literally dreams made real.


And lastly a word of praise for the good folks at boingboing.net - their posts often intrigue and interest me and results in posting here. Thanks to Davit Pescovitz for this one.

Why Blog?

I am often asked, "why should I publish/write my own blog?" The answer is, "If you have to ask, then you shouldn't."

I write and publish because I can. I've kept sporadic journals since college, filled with mostly navel-gazing and self remonstration for not writing more, and better (and more legibly, sorry about that, future reader). They're stacked in the closet of my den. And although I have the skills to publish a site using raw HTML, it's a bother - blogging makes publishing easy.

So, I write - it's what I do, a big part of who I am. Hell, if you ask me "what do you do?", I'll tell you that I'm in software marketing. If you ask me what I am, I'll tell you "a writer." It's what I was trained and educated to do. Writers write. Some of them publish. Very few earn money at it. I don't need the money (yes, I'd love to be paid for writing, but it's not a requirement to keep me writing). And I can publish.

I might even have readers. So I write about what strikes me, when it strikes me, and I put it here. Every once and a while I make a connection with someone and that's interesting, but not necessary. Often I learn something and help clarify my thoughts. And on occasion, I publish a piece of fiction, a little story. Over time it adds up. I don't know what it will become, nor does it matter at this point.

As a reader, I read blogs and web sites that interest me. What interests me the most? Smart, interesting people and the opinions they express.

What's also interesting is what I don't choose to publish. Deleted from this post was a long section speculating about the future, economics, nanotechnology, and human occupations, with the ramifications thereof. But it was also clear that I don't know the hell what I was talking about on that rather broad subject, so that for another day.

Why Blog? It is entertaining and satisfying for me. No other reason would suffice.

On Clowning

Hedwig, the wise old owl, sent me in this direction to see the BBC's photo article about Clowns Without Borders.



It's beautiful and touching photo essay. Smiles are so infectious.

Out of the dark recesses of my past, I too was a clown. In college after I switched from Biology/Chemistry/Premed to Theatre I began to study with a gifted clown, Winston Inslee. The roots of my theatrical training and understanding come as much from the clown as it does from Shakespeare. Or perhaps my understanding of Shakespeare is enhanced by clearly seeing how much buffoonery is central to his work.

My senior project was a performance/play based on the clown character I developed - it helped me get into grad school (accepted into 2 different programs). During my MFA work I also worked on my clowning. I never did birthday parties or entertained at fast food restaurants, thank god, but I did my share of nursing homes and schools. When I shifted my focus from performing to playwrighting, it was the clown who gave me the most inspiration. My full length play, "Grimaldi: King Of The Clowns" got me my degree and after I left, was selected by SIU to perform in their main season. It also went to the American College Theater Festival. That was thrilling and terrifying in itself. (BTW - find Grimaldi's "autobiography" - it's edited by Boz - Charles Dickens - he basically wrote it himself).

After moving to Columbus and entering the business world (starting with nearly 2 years at Bell Labs) I continued clowning, mainly at festivals and some organized busking events (how can you have organized buskers?). I taught a class in clowning for OSU's adult education program for a couple of years - was even featured on the catalog cover. But OSU canceled their adult education and life got more complex with work and kids. I had to decide where to commit my artistic energies - writing won out.

There was also another thing that made me put away the red nose and grease paint - I got to that rare point where I was very good, good enough to see what it would take to be exceptional. I could also see that I didn't have the drive or talent to be what I expected of myself.

I also had/have a very narrow vision of what kind of clowning I like. Cirque Du Sole = wonderful. Bozo=scarry. Crusty the Clown = hilarious. Emmet Kelly=breathtaking (but now overdone, stealing the magic of what he was). I saw Red Skelton perform and when he wasn't being a ham and just plain goofy, he could be a wonderful clown.

You see, the clown is a very specific, very important theatrical form. When I see something like Clowns Without Borders I know it can work because the clown is a key human component - playing off the ridiculous. It is a counter to the Shaman, that claims spiritual authority and great dignity. The clown claims no such thing, and mocks those that do.

And what makes people strong? Laughing together. Theatre is a natural human occupation. Just as Pinker tells us "The mind is something the brain does" the theater is something that humans living together do. We tell stories. We repeat them. We formalize them. And the telling and watching make us feel better.

How brilliant of these people to know and act on this. "People told me that big international organisations give them clothes and food, but that nobody ever makes them smile."

No. There's a difference between changing your mind and lying.

I detest this talk of "flip flopping" on issues. Anyone that insists on never changing your position, never deciding you were wrong, never finding a better way, or since we're talking about politics, never compromises, simply isn't being honest.

For example:

President Bush: Flip-Flopper-In-Chief

Assorted shrubbery on car

I heard the always funny Carl Hiaasen on yesterday's "On The Media" and looked up his column.

On the beach, waiting for Frances

My oldest daughter asks, "why are you watching the Weather Channel? It's just endless weather reports!". And I explained to her that watching storm coverage is like watching NASCAR (which I don't do). You don't watch for the race, you watch because someone might crash. It's both horrifying and cool and you'd hate to miss it.

That's why the desktop picture on my 21" Apple Cinema Display at work is a high resolution picture (updated, manually, daily), of Ivan's approach to the Gulf and eventual landfall (get them fresh at http://www.noaa.gov). I don't wish ill on anyone, but man, it's interesting!

That, and more storm coverage means less election coverage.

That's not a utility belt.

Am I upset that some fruitcake dresses like Batman and hangs a banner at Buckingham Palace? Not one bit.

But please, if you must borrow our cultural icons, please, no belly packs!

Batman at Buckingham Palace

Sex Not Found

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Now, how do we force movie executives to watch it?

I am hopeful about the future. Technology gives us tools and people find a way to do great things.

If you've been to a movie recently, you've probably seen one of those pointless "don't steal movies" ads. Here's the perfect answer to it:

Who Watches Movies?

Blogger Broken

Damn - can't post.

Actually, I can post, but I can't get the site to update. Something is
broken.

However, if you can read this, it is now fixed.

Carry on.

There Is A Balm In Goldberg

I'm feeling particularly "tender" today. No particular reason, just a synchronisity of events. My oldest daughter turned 16 this past weekend and I spent all of yesterday afternoon running her around so she could get her driver's license. This morning she kissed me goodbye and headed off on her own. I watched her drive away with a mixture of pride and sadness. My job as a parent for her is almost done.

Today I also learned of a coworker/friend how just learned her child has cancer. I don't know any details yet, but I instantly felt that mixture of depression and fear.

So here in my office, at work drawing time lines for projects, I turn to the Goldberg Variations. Ah, they do help.

Buy More Music

Yes, we've added iTunes to the side bar so you can buy more music.

Actually, it's a pretty good way to get the music you want. As an example, Kathleen plays in several different bands and orchestras. She comes to me with a list of the music she's playing and we look for the tracks - and don't have to buy the whole album if we don't want it (but with classical I typically do - so much good stuff).

My Favorite Error Message

Many years ago (almost 20 years!) I was documenting software and creating training for a large medical information project at Bell Labs. I came across an error message for a field that I got a big kick out of. It said:

Please Disambiguate This Field.

I could never be certain that the programmer was joking. Knowing that crowd of button-down programmers, they were probably serious.

What made me think of that today?

Wikipedia:Disambiguation

I Don't Buy It. And Neither Should You.

Sigh.

Would this were true.

The Last Days of Telemarketing

As much as I hate spammers, tele-marketers truly depress me. Here's a real person and they're on a mission not just to annoy the hell out of me, the expect me to buy something. I'm rarely outright rude (OK, not so rare anymore), but gosh, what a way to make a living. What has lead you to the point in life where the best job you can get is sitting in a cubical farm and calling strangers, shilling. How sad for you.

Here's my rules for telemarketing, spam, and even door-to-door sales:

1. NEVER BUY FROM THEM. PERIOD.
That's right, and turn them away quickly. Yes, it's a person, but you're not obliged to talk to them. Yes, there is a difference for the neighborhood kid that's selling stuff to support their school - but not a big difference. If one of them approaches you, I suggest giving, but instead of buying junk, offer to make a direct contribution to their cause.

2. If you buy from these jerks, you make trouble for everyone else.
Why do they do it? Because it works. Spam a million people and ten will buy. So I'll spam 100 million. Again and again. Stop buying and stop everyone you know from buying. It's the only way it will stop.

3. If that wasn't clear enough for you, let me make it perfectly clear: Only stupid people buy from tele-marketers and spammers.
You're a mark. You've been conned. So wise up.

Let me tell you something else. Those television "info-mercials" aren't much better. It's a medicine show. It's all staged. The elixir they sell you is bathtub gin and gunpowder (which, unfortunately, I'm acquiring a taste for).

I have to admit, the Ginsu knifes I got at the Illinois State Fair 25 years ago are still razor sharp!

Captain Randy Sells Out

I'm really cluttering up the blog - more experiments, really. I've added an Alibris "Affiliate's Link" to the sidebar and will soon add one for iTunes - more playing around than anything serious.

But hey, I already bought 3 books since adding it, so it seems to be working. Oh, wait . . .

The Shape Of Things To Come

Soon, my friends, I hope to see the day when good news such as this is common place.

Carol Connolly gets another chance to garden

I have great hope for the future. Some day, cancer will be a story from our dark past and we'll shudder at the way people died and what they went through. All of the common diseases will fade away and our children and grandchildren will know them not.

But those of us who did know them, who knew those who suffered and died, will have a special bitterness.

And I have a new fear. When I was young, I knew that I would never live to the age of 16 and get my driver's license. It was clear that the world would vanish in a wave of nuclear heat. I still remember the nightmares where I would look out over the prairie from my home, the home of my great grandfather, and the western horizon would be lined with mushroom clouds.

And now? To get the news, to find cancer growing in my own body, or worse, my loved ones, so sure that in just a few years it would be trivial to reverse and repair.

I'm happy for Carol. Many happy days for you.

How to be creative

gapingvoid: how to be creative (original short version)

Even better when translated into Chinese.

I especially like Rule #7 and it's corollary, The Sex and Cash Theory.

This is only a test

I'm just screwing with the ads, see what shows up.

So, if I were to look for calendar software for my Mac, what should I get? Or if I wanted to buy movie posters or props? What about gourmet foods? And I like coffee - what about some really good coffee - maybe some I could roast myself? Where can I buy a coffee roaster - a small one? Or how do you roast coffee beans in an iron skillet?

And what about digital cameras? Where can I get one with a large hard drive, not a stupid little memory card.

And how much caffeine free coke can one person drink in a day?

After These Messages, We'll Be Right Back

So, as an experiment, I'm trying out the Google advertising - you may (or may not) see them to the right of this messages.

I don't think I have enough readers to make them worth while, nor do I encourage you, gentle reader, to click them or to buy their products or services.

I'm just a curious monkey.

The Wrath of the Net

Every day I spend 15 to 20 minutes sorting out the spam - even with pretty good spam filtering. It's annoying and offensive and I wish to hell that someone, somewhere could do something about it.

So, here's a plea for all you spammers out there. Look at yourselves. Trying to sell sex, drugs, real estate get-rich-quick plans. Is this what your life has come to?

Know this. Your time is short. We'll fix email and the net and you'll reap the whirlwind. When reputation matters and there are no more secrets, we'll remember you. Yes we will.

Repent, Spammer

Call Me Ishmael

Now here's a great and worth project: The Hook Project

Wow, just reading through the entries to date makes me want to shout, "to the library!"

Books are such wonderful things. It's such a rare pleasure to find really good ones. And the best, the very best, take no time for you to ease into them. Bam. You're hooked.

My first contribution: the opening from John D. MacDonalds' Darker Than Amber

"We were about to give up and call it a night when somebody dropped the girl off the bridge."

Wow. Top that!

So Tell Me About This Internet Thing

Shakespere was right. "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

I see these things and I laugh, but it also makes my stomach churn. Repeat after me, "Linking is GOOD". Oh, and here's another, "Linking is NOT STEALING". And most important, "I WANT YOU TO LINK TO ME - IT'S HOW I MAKE MONEY!".

Athens 2004 Hyperlink Policy

And don't even get me started on the so called "Modern" olympics.

"It's INAPPROPRIATE!"

The following blog entry I found linked on Boingboing.net both depresses and angers me.

Sea and Sky and Land - GRRR!

First of all - congratulations and high praise for "mephron". You sir, are a hero.

Next - whoever in charge there needs to do the following:

1 - Issue a public apology to mephron and also praise him for standing up to an abuse of power.

2 - Publish the training and standards documents for these security people

3 - Put a supervisor with some common sense in charge so that in any given instant they can be called to override idiots.

Thank god there are some people with courage out there.

Actually, I'd Prefer to be Maced Instead Of Being Forced to Watch "Catwoman"

These idiots deserved to be maced and arrested. I'm a great fan of cell phones, but they should be off or on vibrate in theaters and restaurants - virtually anywhere where the public expects quiet and no interruptions.

Southpinellas: Police: Belligerence led to couple's arrest

On the other hand, a good tazering might be more satisfying for the audience.

So Cool

Let's all go the Phantasmagoria! Early Visual Media

A Modest Proposal: The Media License

I've been kicking around a proposal for years. Unfortunately, I'm only a voice in the wilderness with no one in a position to make it happen listen to me.

This blog post at Home Theater Watch reminded me of it: Home Theater Watch: DVD producers lament shortened windows

Here's what I recommend that will put untold riches in the studio's hands while treating the consumer fairly AND taking into account changing technology. The media license.

Here's how it would work: I go to a movie and pay not just for a ticket, but to license the content - it's no longer an anonymous transaction, but an agreement. I could, like the blog suggests, buy the DVD on in the lobby on the way out, but in my scenerio, I already have a license to the content, so I'd only need to pay a small media charge for the DVD.

If new editions or new formats come out, I could pay the media charge and get them as well. I could not, however, resell my discs. I could show them in my home to friends as much as I want, but not lend them out. On the other hand, if the DVD format goes to HD-DVD and then to totally online, I wouldn't have to repurchase the content again and again.

Rogue Waves redux

Interesting post on rogue waves! I too wonder what the frequency is. My grandfather's grandfather was engineer (yes, a Scottish engineer) on a sound and well-maintained passenger ship with an experienced captain and crew sailing in familiar waters that foundered off Halifax, N.S., just after the turn of the 20th century. I still have copies of clippings and a copy of a long letter of condolence his widow received from their pastor.

My ancestor was the hero of the occasion, going below himself to try to keep the ship afloat long enough to get the passengers and crew off in the lifeboats. He went down with the ship, knowing when he went below that it meant he was doomed. I think this makes him a great man, but I'm not sure how much comfort that idea was to his widow on that occasion.

Yes, some people were killed in the tragedy -- stormy seas, difficulty getting boats and the people in them to other ships and to shore -- but not because anyone got stranded aboard the ship, except for my ancestor (and, I believe, the captain of the ship).

I don't know if a rogue wave was involved or not. And we'll never know, will we? But it gives one furiously to think.

Someone at JPL has a sense of humor

Of course, you'd have to be a geek like me to get it.

Cassini-Huygens-Multimedia-Images

Stop It. Just Stop It.

I'm so tire of it all. Yet it's important that we flush these guys out and get it right.

What's wrong with our political system? Money. People who want it and people who what to keep it (and get LOTS more). All of the rhetoric, the playing to religious camps and social ideals is so cynical it make the bile rise in my throat (and I had my gall bladder out last year, so that's no easy task).

Thank god for people like Bill Moyers who do really understand this issue.

Democracy in the Balance, Sojourners Magazine/August 2004 "And what is driving this shift? Contrary to what you learned in civics class in high school, it is not the so-called 'democratic debate.' That is merely a cynical charade behind which the real business goes on - the none-too-scrupulous business of getting and keeping power so that you can divide up the spoils. If you want to know what's changing America, follow the money."

Physical Theories as Women

Telling stories like this was probably why I didn't date in High School.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Physical Theories as Women

Two Large Ships Sink Every Week

Why is this fact buried inside a science article on rogue waves?

MSNBC - Satellites used to explain monster waves"'Two large ships sink every week on average, but the cause is never studied to the same detail as an air crash,' says Wolfgang Rosenthal of the GKSS Forschungszentrum GmbH research center in Germany. 'It simply gets put down to bad weather.'"

It's pretty startling, wouldn't you say? And if in 2004 it's 2 per week, what has it been in years past? Just how littered is the floor of the oceans?

Looks like we finally have some competition

Especially that I have trouble walking upright, at times.

CBC News: Monkey hits stride after near-death experience

A Quiet Night At Sweeny's

"There you go, Billy!" Mr. Jenson placed the tall root beer float in
front of the small boy at the counter. "Enjoy yourself!"

Jenson wiped his hands on a towel, then pressed his left hand against
his back, grimacing.

"Did you get injured in the war, Mr. Jenson?" Billy had abandoned the
straw and was spooning ice cream and soda into his mouth as quickly as
he could manage.

"No, Billy, I wasn't in the service."

"Well, what did you do?" His voice thick with cold.

Jenson smiled. It was a tight, thin smile, one masking the pain in
his back, or perhaps disgust. "I worked in an office, Billy."

"Really? I thought you always worked here at Sweeny's." He scooped
more of the float. "I don't know any people that work in offices."

"Not many do any more. Not many do."

"My family are all farmers. 'sept Ma, cause she teaches school."

Jenson started to speak, but then shook his head and walked to the
other end of the counter and began refilling the jar of hard candies.
But the task only took a moment and he straightened again, pressed his
back and faced the circulating fan. He tugged at his collar and tie,
then wiped the sweat from his brow with his pocket handkerchief.

But Billy remained in a talkative mood. "What'd ja do in that office,
Mr. Jenson?"

Jenson swallowed hard, then surprised at the welling of emotion,
covered his mouth.

"Wait! I bet you you was one of those 'puter guys! Was you one of
those guys, Mr. Jenson?"

Jenson poured himself a glass of water from the tap and drank half
before turning to the boy. "Yes, I worked on computers, Billy.
Computers and the internet."

"Wow! Mom says that computers was like radio with pictures. And you
could look up stuff like I do out of the Comptons!"

Jenson nodded briefly. "That's right. Just like that. But then they
turned if off and here I am, jerking soda's and staying in Sweeny's
good graces. So drink up your soda and head on home. You Mom will be
in here looking after you."

"Could you tell me more about the internet, Mr. Jenson? Nobody ever
tells me about nothing but keep'n my chores done and watch'n out to
make sure the neighbors aren't do'n nothing bad, neither."

Jenson pulled the not quite empty glass away from the boy.

"Hey, I wasn't done!"

"Go on home, Billy. And don't be asking me about things that happened
long before you was born. There are reasons folks don't talk about it
and I ain't the one to ask."

"But . . ."

Jenson came around the counter and lifted Billy off the stool and
walked him to the door. It wasn't any cooler outside, but it was just
getting dark enough to notice the gas street lights glowing brighter.

"'night, Mr. Jenson." Billy muttered as he turned right and scuffled
down the quiet street.

"Good night, Billy." Jenson sighed. He went inside and turned the
lock on the door. Looking across the street he could see Ray Farnum
staring out of the window of his hardware store at him. Jenson waved
without receiving recognition, then turned down the lights and made his
way back to his cot in the storeroom.

He groaned aloud as he eased off his shoes and laid upon the cot.
"Just turned it off. Damn me if they didn't do just that."

Here's Your New Reading List

When I create my list of banned books, it will be to list all the horrible crap I've endured. But you won't be forbidden, only warned.

These folks, on the other hand, are performing a great public service. The Forbidden Library: Banned and Challenged Books

See, I Don't Have That Much Time On My Hands

If I did, I could have done something like this: Lego Spider-Man Movie

Where You'll Find The Links

Or at least for today.

Bloglines | Clip Blog

Edwards for VP - The Anti-Cheney

This weekend we saw some pretty savvy media usage by the Kerry campaign stirring up interest in his VP selection. And they were also smart not to let it go on too long.

So it's John Edwards. Good looking young guy. Southerner. Not much experience. OK selection on merits, but excellent counterpoint to the rabid attack dog Dick Cheney. Yes, the current VP is the mastermind pulling the strings behind "Empty Suit" Bush - and an apparently evil genius, robot heart and all. Beyond that, he seems to be a completely unpleasant, if not downright repellent person - not someone you'd want as a next door neighbor (hey you kids, get off my lawn!).

Edwards has an easy smile and is strong at staying positive - get him out their on the trail NOW - counter every attach by Cheney with sunshine and light. It's not too late to turn away from the dark side.

Cassini-Huygens with the Flaven, Nice Lady . . .

This is just fascinating, remarkable stuff. And one more reason that I hope the new civilian efforts to get into space work out. There's so much fascinating stuff out there to see.

Why go to space? Money, Bub. The kind of wealth that will make Bill Gates look like a minimum wage burger flipper. Power beyond your wildest dreams. We used to call Europe "the old world" and think all the opportunity lay in the new one. Well it's all old now.

Let's blow this pop stand and see what's going is the big outside.

NASA - Entering Saturn's Magnetosphere with a Boom

Back From Vacation

Yes, happy readers, I'm back from our yearly vacation on the distant reaches of Cape Hatteras. Good times.

I'll also point out the nifty new archive menu, courtesy of the helpful folks at Blogger: http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=879.

In Alternate Universe I'm Still Bald

But I'm much thinner.

Today In Alternate History

Backup Your Blog

I am a world class procrastinator, but I eventually get around to taking care of business. It took the closing of weblogs.com for me to get off my butt and backup this online journal (still not comfortable with telling people to "check out my blog").

I'm also starting a new policy of using Blogger's email function to email me each post, which I'll use a handy mail rule to sort into an automatic backup.

Wired News: Thousands of Blogs Fall Silent

I listened to Dave Winer's audio comments and I understand that he is ill and under no obligation to continue. It's too bad he didn't make the decision sooner and allow people to backup their work. But frankly, it's not his fault. They were responsible for their own work as I am for mine. As George Carlin's classic routine tells us "This is your two minute warning. Get your shit together."

I Find This Stuff Because I'm Not A Snob

OK, I am a snob, but I have a very wide interest area.

I love working with would-be writers - from college-age to post-retirement-age individuals who dearly and deeply want to become writers - and their most frequently asked question might be paraphrased as - "What's the one thing I need above all others to become a writer?" They're often surprised when I answer (as John Gardner did in his wonderful ON BECOMING A NOVELIST), "The perspective that only a serious education can give you."

I have an advanced degree, but the serious parts of my education have been self directed. But that wouldn't have been possible without the formal part.

You'll only find Mr. Simmons if you poke around the ghettos of literature. But go looking for him. "Ilium" is a treat.

How Dogs Will Make It Possible To Live Forever

Just a little glimpse into how my mind works. Read the following article and see if you go anywhere near where I'm heading.

CNN.com - Study finds dogs understand language - Jun 10, 2004 "'You don't have to be able to talk to understand a lot,' Fischer said. The team noted that dogs have evolved with humans and have been selected for their ability to respond to the communications of people."

OK, pretty interesting. Could use to talk about the different types of intelligence. Are dogs smarter than cats, or just different? Other interesting and worthy topics come to mind as well.

But here's what come to my mind: our old companions may be critical for our next step in evolution as well.

You see, I think there's good evidence that we didn't shape dogs like we have cattle and corn. It's more likely that our two species evolved together. Not only have they evolved to be able to understand and respond to us, but we too have been shaped by their companionship.

Nature doesn't have much use for us after 40. Done with raising the next generation. It's up to us at that point to go on or fall apart. These creatures we call pets help sustain us in ways that other humans don't and can't. And should we figure out a way to stay young and healthy longer than our three score years, we'll need them more.

Children grow up and move on, necessarily separating themselves. Mates may change and move, too. Friends have lives of their own. And few of us can stand our own company endlessly. But a dog needs you. And yes, they understand you. Perhaps more importantly, they care. Other animals will be present for you, but how special a relationship, forged across the millennia, and now, likely to carry us forever forward.

Personal Assistant Wanted

Today, Neil Gaiman wrote this in his blog:

"Woken up this morning rather earlier than usual, by my assistant Lorraine. 'I made you a cup of tea,' she said. 'Can you drive me to the Hospital? I think I broke my arm in the night.' "

Where exactly does one find such a creature? A live-in, selfless assistant - something from another era, I thought. I think I'd be much more productive if I had someone like this to follow me around, keeping me on task, reminding me to write and post to this blog. Edit my spelling and grammar. Press and layout my clothes. Insist it was time to exercise. Suggest that the salad might be better than the bacon cheese burger. Answer the phone and say, "he's not to be disturbed at the moment. Perhaps I can help you."

But coffee, please, not tea.

Tick

This explains a lot. Or at least why my shoe laces keep unraveling.

Guardian Unlimited | Life | The final countdown: "The quiet periods in the fossil record where evolution seems to stagnate are a big problem for natural selection: evolution can't just switch on and off. Over 20 years ago the late Stephen Jay Gould suggested internal genetic mechanisms could regulate these quiet evolutionary periods but until now no-one could explain how it would work."

Beware of Suits Bearing Gifts

Free Hardware: a Trojan Horse?

Amen to that.

Folks in the marketing world understand the power of the word "Free", but they also think consumers are stupid. That's why, once again Microsoft will try and own your corporate soul by "giving" you hardware. Unless your IT manager is already in Microsoft's pocket, this ain't gonna happen.

Primal Fears, Part II

Remind me sometime to tell you about my completely rational fear of bears, which I developed by reading sporting magazines in barber shops.

"'My first thought was, that's a really big dolphin. But then I noticed it was swimming side to side rather than up and down,' he said."

Pucker Factor?

Years ago, before I screwed up my back, I enjoyed windsurfing. Of course I was using a 50 pound board and a huge sail mainly on the freshwater Hoover Reservoir and a few times in the protected Albermarle Sound.

Recently I've seen guys out on the Outer Banks with these kites and they're pretty amazing, but with an equally amazing learning curve. I suppose this would be motivation to get your ass out of the water, though.

A first -- from Farallones to S.F. by kite-boarding"'My pucker factor, at the thought of the sharks, was huge,' said Gibson. 'The whole idea was to tread water as little as possible. I still had a feeling we were being watched.' "

Yikes.

Old style wind surfing is tough enough to learn. You have to balance on the board, then haul the sail up out of the water. Then you have to understand the wind - not just with your head, but with your body. You have to get everything aligned, balanced, and well, spend several days just getting the hell beat out of you. When it finally clicks it's a hoot - the sensation of speed is amazing - especially when the board planes out of the water and you rip along. And these kites are another order of magnitude more complex. Even without Great White Sharks increasing your pucker.

Odd Self Discovery: I'm A Fantasy Fan

I'm a voracious reader and don't limit myself to any particular genre. It has always been easier to say what I don't like - I'm not a big fan of celebrity biography or autobiography most any form. And I certainly don't read what is know as "romance". And usually on that list was Fantasy. Swords and sorcery. Sure, I love Tolkien, but hate his imitators.

But I just finished "The Knight" by Gene Wolfe. Yes, I know I've sworn to wait till he published the second volume, but the interest took me to it on the shelf and it was TERRIFIC. God, there's good stuff there.

I've always felt more comfortable in science fiction. Seat me with the nerds, not the goths, please. But in truth, sci-fi is a sub-genre of fantasy. Hell, all fiction is a sub-genre of fantasy.

OK, I just don't care for bad books. I'll read a good one wherever I find it.

And after finishing that excellent novel I had my appetite whet for more. Time, once again, for T. H. White's "The Once And Future King"

The One With The Horse

I'm a big fan of the Illiad (read the Robert Fagles translation - it's amazing ), so I was hopeful about this movie.

But after talking with a friend that went to a preview, I'll be dammed if I give the movie makers any of my dollars.

The Iliad is one of the great works of literature for more than one reason - and here's the biggest: the story is perfect. Why fuck with it? The movie makers gain NOTHING by killing off characters and "condensing" the action. Hollywood movie logic says "bad guy" Agamemnon must die, totally ignoring that he will be murdered for his crimes by his own wife when he returns and setting off the events that help define modern justice and the turning away from revenge and vigilantism. The war lasts 10 years, not 2 weeks - which makes much more sense as to why the Greeks are at each others throats.

And the Gods - Homer's story shows them every bit as petty and vindictive as the mortals. Stubborn, vain and capricious. Yes, I can see the story told without them, but WITH them we have a powerful mirror to human interactions.

But Hollywood thinks us stupid. We've never read the story. Our literature and foundations of our society, government, and civilization doesn't resonate with its message. We just want to see some buff guys fighting with swords.

A missed opportunity.

Just Plain Wrong

Wow, does Katie Hafner writing for the New York Times blow it with her article on building a home cinema. She sets off on the wrong foot with this:

The New York Times > The Do-It-Yourself Cineplex: "My first step was to lay a few ground rules. One was to conduct thorough research but not drive myself crazy. I vowed to gather information from a handful of well-informed aficionados near my home in the San Francisco Bay area and ignore the rest.

I allowed myself to use the Web, but selectively. Product reviews and price comparisons were fine, but I steered clear of the dozens of online home theater discussion groups. Remember, some of these people are not merely opinionated fanatics, they're opinionated fanatics with too much time on their hands.

If you want advice, you're better off calling friends who have been through the home theater ordeal. Make sure they went through it recently, because like most technology, equipment and prices change almost weekly."

Let me tell you something: your friends don't know shit. And even if your friends do know something, you don't know if they're experience on this can be trusted.

And most of all, you don't know what's possible.

This can be applied to anything, but let's talk about home theater.

Before starting a project like this, survey what's possible. You might decide you'd just like a TV and some stereo speakers, or you might discover that for a little more, you can build an immersive environment. But you'll never know until you look outside your group of friends. You might find out that those Bose speakers you've been looking at don't produce as sound as well as something less expensive, but Best Buy doesn't carry them. You might find out that no, painting your wall flat white isn't the best way to save on buying a screen (but there are other colors and DIY solutions that produce very good results.) And you might find that a little more thought about the room before you look at equipment can save you $$$ and give you a great audio environment.

You picked the wrong group to ignore, Ms. Hafner. Some of us fanatics could have spent some of our "too much time" helping you.

Oh, and you really screwed your friends by showing them "Master and Commander" with a blown subwoofer. That movie rocked at my place.

Damn, Missed Another Anniversary

Gmail For All (OK, Just For Me)

I received my invitation to join the Beta test of Google's new email system last night. Gmail, when it's released to the public will be a free service which offers a free email account with a full gigabyte of storage. Most systems offer a tiny fraction of that - hell, most paid systems offer less than 10%.

It's also an interesting approach to email - making your email into "conversations" - which I find very useful. And searching - which is also cool.

I wish there were a way for me to dump 10 years of old email into it, but I'll have to work it from this point forward. And I'm not yet set on making it my main account, which also limits its usefulness.

The ads? Not a problem. And no, I don't have any more privacy concerns with them than I do with any other internet service provider.

And no, I can't get you into the beta, either. But it should be available to the public soon.

It's Due Now, Baby

"'John always knows when his homework is due.'"

This is good news. Sorta.

But it doesn't counteract the acid sent swirling in my gut this morning when I hear Rush Limbaugh proclaim that the Iraq prison abuses wasn't a bad thing at all. “If you look at the role Arab men make their women play, to make American prison guards females and give them utter power over Arab men, some might call that torture. Some might call that decent punishment. Some might say, 'Here's a taste of your own medicine. This is what you've been doing to your women, only now the tables are turned.'”

I use too think he was just a blustering idiot I didn't care for. It's clear now that that he's more than that. He's a evil man - a real bad guy. He poisons his audience, trying out messages, seeing what they'll believe. When he goes to far he'll say, "I was only kidding. Can't you tell it's all comedy?"

No. It's not funny anymore. It never was.

And shouldn't he be in prison? What happened to those drug charges? Guess it helps to have friends in high places. Too bad - he might get to see some of those prison guard abuses up close and personal.

Changing Time

Hmm - Blogger's been sprucing up the place. I've been mucking about with my template as well. We'll see how this all turns out.

Good Choice

I recommend Steven Pinker for two reasons. First and most important - he's a terrific and entertaining writer. That alone makes his books worth while.

And of course, he his also on the cutting edge of the cognitive sciences. Here's a man that can title a book "How The Mind Works" without false bravura. The man knows what he's talking about.

Steven Pinker Selected as one of the "Time100"

His most recent work, "The Blank Slate" is terrific and contains some really thought provoking ideas about ethics and morality, certainly steps beyond the simple nature vs. nurture argument.

Oh, and a third reason. Any person of intelligence that wants to seriously think about existence and human potential should read his Pinker!

While your at it, best see what George Dyson has to say as well.

When I Was Seventeen . . .

The hell with that, my teenage years were not exactly angst filled, but I have no nostalgia to return to that time and place.

Now 20, that was a good year. I finished my sophomore year of college and changed my major to something I enjoyed and was good at. I spent the summer working on a construction crew and returned to college fit, golden brown, driving my vintage Karman Ghia convertible. I was confident with myself and was finally getting the hang of dating, or at least asking for dates.

But in all, now that I am 44, I'd not go back. Going forward is much more interesting.

Apparently, somewhat gender confused as well

What Liberty Meadows Character are you?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Your are	Evil Brandy
This QuickKwiz by fabboferretsdad - Taken 78 Times.

New Car Blues

For some reason or another I've got it into my head that we need to buy a new car.

My justifications:

• Kathleen will be 16 in September and will need a vehicle
  
• The minivan has over 112,000 miles on it and I currently put around 300 miles per week on it - if we want to keep it for family vacations/road trips, we need to keep the mileage down - or plan on replacing it soon (and I'd rather not have another minivan as my daily driver).
  
• Some other really good and decisive reasons that I can't think of right now.

We've had both of our current vehicles paid off for a couple of years and it's nice to not have a car payment. We've discussed a number of options. But the new cars beckon.

My requirements: Flexible and comfortable - big enough with a hatchback so we can transport the string bass with driver and 2 passengers. Quieter on the road and more car-like (as opposed to truck-like) ride and handling.

Which brings me to the "crossover" class of vehicles - which include the Nissan Murano, the Lexus RX330, and the Infiniti FX35. All of which are terrific vehicles and much too expensive. I should never have driven the FX35. It's just too much fun (think sport car, not SUV). It just purrs. At least I didn't drive the FX45 - even I know that's too much car.

I'm going to take a step back and drive some things on the other end of the spectrum like the KIA Sorrento and the and the Hyundai Sante Fe. And to balance things out, the VW Touareg.

Sigh. It's just a hell of a lot of money. I think leasing is a scam and we do tend to keep our vehicles six years or longer, on average (the Windstar is a 98 model year, purchased in 97, my wife's Taurus is a 99 model year).

If I had to decide right now and money wasn't an issue, I'd pick the Lexus. Although I get the impression that I wouldn't be buying a car as much as joining a club. It appears to be a terrific vehicle, but I'm not really the country club type. Can I get the vehicle without the attitude?

And I Thought It Was A Surprise Birthday Party For Me

MacMinute: Jobs to speak on iTunes Music Store anniversary

If you haven't tried out iTunes for searching for and buying music, you're missing out.

My daughter, Kathleen, is a big jazz fan and plays string bass in her high school band (see previous posts here). She came home last week with a hand written list of songs she wanted to hear and learn. A few minutes in iTunes and she had them all (all that I didn't already have, I'm a jazz fan myself). We bought a half dozen tracks for 99 cents each - late Sunday evening. It's damn handy and addictive as hell.

I worry about the music industry, though. Those guys don't get it. I've seen threats of price increases. And they're unhappy with single track sales vs. CDs. But it's way cool and my preferred way of purchasing music (and yes, I've bought more total dollars worth of music in the past year than the previous one).

Ride Captain Ride

Damn. Listening to the radio and get songs stuck inbetween the ears. This time it's "Ride Captain Ride" by Blues Image.

Tell me, do the lyrics have any meaning? "Seventy three men sailed up from the San Francisco Bay . . ."

And while we're at it, what about "One Toke Over The Line". Is it really just some homesick and stoned guy whining?

Wanted: More Brave, Anonymous Patriots

‘Where is the David Halberstam of this generation?'

Where indeed.

LA Weekly: Features: Swallow This, Deep Throat "One of the reasons Deep Throat stayed anonymous back then was if it came out that he was ratting, they would kill him. That is an anonymous source."

There Is No Limit To The Cool Stuff You Can Buy On eBay

This is so out of my field, but were it closer, I'd bid it up!

eBay item 3189039958 (Ends Apr-30-04 09:58:51 PDT) - DECREASE YOUR ERDOS NUMBER! scientific coauthorship

Genius In The New Millennium

This is fucking brilliant. While once we told ghost stories around the fire, now we do it on eBay.

Dibbuk Haunted Jewish Wine Cabinet Box

Geeks And The History Buffs They Become

I've been saying for some time now that the path to intellectual enlightenment isn't science, it's history. Science is important, but it calls for breaking things down. History, real history, as broad and as detailed as possible (including archeology) makes one question the assumptions that are thrust on us. History from as many sources as possible. "Wait a minute, different people have different views of the same event?"

And first person accounts forces one to drop interpretation and try and see what it was like to be there.

Salon.com Books | The Salon Interview: Neal Stephenson "There was a review of 'Cryptonomicon' with a line in it that struck me as interesting. The guy said, 'This is a book for geeks and the history buffs that they turn into.' I'm turning into one. I'm in this history book club, which is not all geeks but it's definitely got some serious geeks in it. It's been going for four or five years maybe. We're all consistently dumbfounded by how interesting history is when you read it yourself compared to how dull it was when they made you study it in school. We can't figure out why there's that gap. I think they try to cover too broad a sweep at once so you never get down to the individual people and their stories. It's all generalities. "

Yes, geeks that are more than obsessives find their way inevitably to history.

On a side note: I really like Stephenson's work, but I'm waiting for him to finish the cycle before reading it. I HATE having material dribbled out. Yes, I understand why it's done, but I don't like it. I have the latest Gene Wolfe sitting on my shelf, unread, for the same reason.

Idiot

First, this:

CNN.com - Gun found in congressman's carry-on bag - Apr 20, 2004"Hostettler is an avid sportsman and 'hunts lots of things and does target practice,' Jahr said. 'He's been doing a lot to events in the district and may have packed the wrong bag.'"

Hey, Mr. Representative and conservative. Stand up for what's right. Let them throw the book at you like they'd do if Joe Bob down the street were to show up at the airport packing.

You people in Indiana, take note.

Oh, I'm supposed to post EVERY day?

Argh.

Yes

I was reading a pro-Mac piece online when I came across this gem:

"The word 'yes' in a man's world (especially a husband's) is truly magical, but that's another discussion thread all together. "

Ain't that the truth? What better sound can one hear? "Can I have this dance?" "Would you like to go out Saturday night?" "Can I buy this new iPod?"

Just be careful to word your questions carefully.

Some Goals are Better Than Others

I have a short reading list of RSS feeds and blogs every day - it seems like some topics make the rounds pretty quickly.

Here's one I read on boingboing.net today:

40 Things Every Drunkard Should Do Before He Dies.

First point - completing all 40 might cause one to die.

Next surprising observation: there are a couple of good ideas in this list.

I am a moderate drinker - I didn't drink as an undergraduate and didn't drink much till after I was 25 and in the work force. A couple of drinks is usually fine for me.

On the other hand, I like it. I enjoy whisky and rum neat. I'll happily drink vodka shots or a martini - the colder the better. Beer is great, but a couple of pints is plenty. I love a good port, but rarely get it. And wine with a meal is fine, but not something I have to have.

And don't get me started on Irish Coffee.

"7.) Buy a crowded bar a round. For no reason at all. Jump up on a barstool and shout it loud: “A round for the house! On me!” Make sure you have a good toast ready, because, for once, they’ll all be listening."

Jazz at Lincoln Center NewsFlash

Last week, while traveling in the UK, I learned that my oldest daughter Kathleen's jazz band has been selected as one of the top high school jazz bands and will participate in the Essentially Ellington competition and festival!

Jazz at Lincoln Center NewsFlash

We're all going on the trip - she's very excited (as am I). They'll be competing and playing with 14 other bands. Most of these bands are "from the coasts" and many are performing arts schools. Westerville South is a public school, one of three in Westerville, so this is quite an accomplishment. No other Ohio schools were selected, frankly none from the mid-west or for that matter, the entire center of the country.

Kathleen is really coming along playing the string bass - and she's featured in the Ellington original "Jack The Bear". She's the engine of a this amazing little band.

Back when I was in high school I played in our high school jazz band for my freshman year. I really enjoyed it. This was the era of Maynard Ferguson and Chuck Mangione . It was all about driving brass and we played more rock and pop than true jazz. And we didn't have a bass. Kathleen's band really swings - right now they have about ten Ellington charts (originals, as written for his orchestra) under their belts.

Proud papa, indeed.