On Clowning

Hedwig, the wise old owl, sent me in this direction to see the BBC's photo article about Clowns Without Borders.



It's beautiful and touching photo essay. Smiles are so infectious.

Out of the dark recesses of my past, I too was a clown. In college after I switched from Biology/Chemistry/Premed to Theatre I began to study with a gifted clown, Winston Inslee. The roots of my theatrical training and understanding come as much from the clown as it does from Shakespeare. Or perhaps my understanding of Shakespeare is enhanced by clearly seeing how much buffoonery is central to his work.

My senior project was a performance/play based on the clown character I developed - it helped me get into grad school (accepted into 2 different programs). During my MFA work I also worked on my clowning. I never did birthday parties or entertained at fast food restaurants, thank god, but I did my share of nursing homes and schools. When I shifted my focus from performing to playwrighting, it was the clown who gave me the most inspiration. My full length play, "Grimaldi: King Of The Clowns" got me my degree and after I left, was selected by SIU to perform in their main season. It also went to the American College Theater Festival. That was thrilling and terrifying in itself. (BTW - find Grimaldi's "autobiography" - it's edited by Boz - Charles Dickens - he basically wrote it himself).

After moving to Columbus and entering the business world (starting with nearly 2 years at Bell Labs) I continued clowning, mainly at festivals and some organized busking events (how can you have organized buskers?). I taught a class in clowning for OSU's adult education program for a couple of years - was even featured on the catalog cover. But OSU canceled their adult education and life got more complex with work and kids. I had to decide where to commit my artistic energies - writing won out.

There was also another thing that made me put away the red nose and grease paint - I got to that rare point where I was very good, good enough to see what it would take to be exceptional. I could also see that I didn't have the drive or talent to be what I expected of myself.

I also had/have a very narrow vision of what kind of clowning I like. Cirque Du Sole = wonderful. Bozo=scarry. Crusty the Clown = hilarious. Emmet Kelly=breathtaking (but now overdone, stealing the magic of what he was). I saw Red Skelton perform and when he wasn't being a ham and just plain goofy, he could be a wonderful clown.

You see, the clown is a very specific, very important theatrical form. When I see something like Clowns Without Borders I know it can work because the clown is a key human component - playing off the ridiculous. It is a counter to the Shaman, that claims spiritual authority and great dignity. The clown claims no such thing, and mocks those that do.

And what makes people strong? Laughing together. Theatre is a natural human occupation. Just as Pinker tells us "The mind is something the brain does" the theater is something that humans living together do. We tell stories. We repeat them. We formalize them. And the telling and watching make us feel better.

How brilliant of these people to know and act on this. "People told me that big international organisations give them clothes and food, but that nobody ever makes them smile."

No. There's a difference between changing your mind and lying.

I detest this talk of "flip flopping" on issues. Anyone that insists on never changing your position, never deciding you were wrong, never finding a better way, or since we're talking about politics, never compromises, simply isn't being honest.

For example:

President Bush: Flip-Flopper-In-Chief

Assorted shrubbery on car

I heard the always funny Carl Hiaasen on yesterday's "On The Media" and looked up his column.

On the beach, waiting for Frances

My oldest daughter asks, "why are you watching the Weather Channel? It's just endless weather reports!". And I explained to her that watching storm coverage is like watching NASCAR (which I don't do). You don't watch for the race, you watch because someone might crash. It's both horrifying and cool and you'd hate to miss it.

That's why the desktop picture on my 21" Apple Cinema Display at work is a high resolution picture (updated, manually, daily), of Ivan's approach to the Gulf and eventual landfall (get them fresh at http://www.noaa.gov). I don't wish ill on anyone, but man, it's interesting!

That, and more storm coverage means less election coverage.

That's not a utility belt.

Am I upset that some fruitcake dresses like Batman and hangs a banner at Buckingham Palace? Not one bit.

But please, if you must borrow our cultural icons, please, no belly packs!

Batman at Buckingham Palace

Sex Not Found

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Now, how do we force movie executives to watch it?

I am hopeful about the future. Technology gives us tools and people find a way to do great things.

If you've been to a movie recently, you've probably seen one of those pointless "don't steal movies" ads. Here's the perfect answer to it:

Who Watches Movies?

Blogger Broken

Damn - can't post.

Actually, I can post, but I can't get the site to update. Something is
broken.

However, if you can read this, it is now fixed.

Carry on.

There Is A Balm In Goldberg

I'm feeling particularly "tender" today. No particular reason, just a synchronisity of events. My oldest daughter turned 16 this past weekend and I spent all of yesterday afternoon running her around so she could get her driver's license. This morning she kissed me goodbye and headed off on her own. I watched her drive away with a mixture of pride and sadness. My job as a parent for her is almost done.

Today I also learned of a coworker/friend how just learned her child has cancer. I don't know any details yet, but I instantly felt that mixture of depression and fear.

So here in my office, at work drawing time lines for projects, I turn to the Goldberg Variations. Ah, they do help.

Buy More Music

Yes, we've added iTunes to the side bar so you can buy more music.

Actually, it's a pretty good way to get the music you want. As an example, Kathleen plays in several different bands and orchestras. She comes to me with a list of the music she's playing and we look for the tracks - and don't have to buy the whole album if we don't want it (but with classical I typically do - so much good stuff).

My Favorite Error Message

Many years ago (almost 20 years!) I was documenting software and creating training for a large medical information project at Bell Labs. I came across an error message for a field that I got a big kick out of. It said:

Please Disambiguate This Field.

I could never be certain that the programmer was joking. Knowing that crowd of button-down programmers, they were probably serious.

What made me think of that today?

Wikipedia:Disambiguation

I Don't Buy It. And Neither Should You.

Sigh.

Would this were true.

The Last Days of Telemarketing

As much as I hate spammers, tele-marketers truly depress me. Here's a real person and they're on a mission not just to annoy the hell out of me, the expect me to buy something. I'm rarely outright rude (OK, not so rare anymore), but gosh, what a way to make a living. What has lead you to the point in life where the best job you can get is sitting in a cubical farm and calling strangers, shilling. How sad for you.

Here's my rules for telemarketing, spam, and even door-to-door sales:

1. NEVER BUY FROM THEM. PERIOD.
That's right, and turn them away quickly. Yes, it's a person, but you're not obliged to talk to them. Yes, there is a difference for the neighborhood kid that's selling stuff to support their school - but not a big difference. If one of them approaches you, I suggest giving, but instead of buying junk, offer to make a direct contribution to their cause.

2. If you buy from these jerks, you make trouble for everyone else.
Why do they do it? Because it works. Spam a million people and ten will buy. So I'll spam 100 million. Again and again. Stop buying and stop everyone you know from buying. It's the only way it will stop.

3. If that wasn't clear enough for you, let me make it perfectly clear: Only stupid people buy from tele-marketers and spammers.
You're a mark. You've been conned. So wise up.

Let me tell you something else. Those television "info-mercials" aren't much better. It's a medicine show. It's all staged. The elixir they sell you is bathtub gin and gunpowder (which, unfortunately, I'm acquiring a taste for).

I have to admit, the Ginsu knifes I got at the Illinois State Fair 25 years ago are still razor sharp!

Captain Randy Sells Out

I'm really cluttering up the blog - more experiments, really. I've added an Alibris "Affiliate's Link" to the sidebar and will soon add one for iTunes - more playing around than anything serious.

But hey, I already bought 3 books since adding it, so it seems to be working. Oh, wait . . .

The Shape Of Things To Come

Soon, my friends, I hope to see the day when good news such as this is common place.

Carol Connolly gets another chance to garden

I have great hope for the future. Some day, cancer will be a story from our dark past and we'll shudder at the way people died and what they went through. All of the common diseases will fade away and our children and grandchildren will know them not.

But those of us who did know them, who knew those who suffered and died, will have a special bitterness.

And I have a new fear. When I was young, I knew that I would never live to the age of 16 and get my driver's license. It was clear that the world would vanish in a wave of nuclear heat. I still remember the nightmares where I would look out over the prairie from my home, the home of my great grandfather, and the western horizon would be lined with mushroom clouds.

And now? To get the news, to find cancer growing in my own body, or worse, my loved ones, so sure that in just a few years it would be trivial to reverse and repair.

I'm happy for Carol. Many happy days for you.

How to be creative

gapingvoid: how to be creative (original short version)

Even better when translated into Chinese.

I especially like Rule #7 and it's corollary, The Sex and Cash Theory.

This is only a test

I'm just screwing with the ads, see what shows up.

So, if I were to look for calendar software for my Mac, what should I get? Or if I wanted to buy movie posters or props? What about gourmet foods? And I like coffee - what about some really good coffee - maybe some I could roast myself? Where can I buy a coffee roaster - a small one? Or how do you roast coffee beans in an iron skillet?

And what about digital cameras? Where can I get one with a large hard drive, not a stupid little memory card.

And how much caffeine free coke can one person drink in a day?

After These Messages, We'll Be Right Back

So, as an experiment, I'm trying out the Google advertising - you may (or may not) see them to the right of this messages.

I don't think I have enough readers to make them worth while, nor do I encourage you, gentle reader, to click them or to buy their products or services.

I'm just a curious monkey.

The Wrath of the Net

Every day I spend 15 to 20 minutes sorting out the spam - even with pretty good spam filtering. It's annoying and offensive and I wish to hell that someone, somewhere could do something about it.

So, here's a plea for all you spammers out there. Look at yourselves. Trying to sell sex, drugs, real estate get-rich-quick plans. Is this what your life has come to?

Know this. Your time is short. We'll fix email and the net and you'll reap the whirlwind. When reputation matters and there are no more secrets, we'll remember you. Yes we will.

Repent, Spammer

Call Me Ishmael

Now here's a great and worth project: The Hook Project

Wow, just reading through the entries to date makes me want to shout, "to the library!"

Books are such wonderful things. It's such a rare pleasure to find really good ones. And the best, the very best, take no time for you to ease into them. Bam. You're hooked.

My first contribution: the opening from John D. MacDonalds' Darker Than Amber

"We were about to give up and call it a night when somebody dropped the girl off the bridge."

Wow. Top that!

So Tell Me About This Internet Thing

Shakespere was right. "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

I see these things and I laugh, but it also makes my stomach churn. Repeat after me, "Linking is GOOD". Oh, and here's another, "Linking is NOT STEALING". And most important, "I WANT YOU TO LINK TO ME - IT'S HOW I MAKE MONEY!".

Athens 2004 Hyperlink Policy

And don't even get me started on the so called "Modern" olympics.

"It's INAPPROPRIATE!"

The following blog entry I found linked on Boingboing.net both depresses and angers me.

Sea and Sky and Land - GRRR!

First of all - congratulations and high praise for "mephron". You sir, are a hero.

Next - whoever in charge there needs to do the following:

1 - Issue a public apology to mephron and also praise him for standing up to an abuse of power.

2 - Publish the training and standards documents for these security people

3 - Put a supervisor with some common sense in charge so that in any given instant they can be called to override idiots.

Thank god there are some people with courage out there.

Actually, I'd Prefer to be Maced Instead Of Being Forced to Watch "Catwoman"

These idiots deserved to be maced and arrested. I'm a great fan of cell phones, but they should be off or on vibrate in theaters and restaurants - virtually anywhere where the public expects quiet and no interruptions.

Southpinellas: Police: Belligerence led to couple's arrest

On the other hand, a good tazering might be more satisfying for the audience.

So Cool

Let's all go the Phantasmagoria! Early Visual Media

A Modest Proposal: The Media License

I've been kicking around a proposal for years. Unfortunately, I'm only a voice in the wilderness with no one in a position to make it happen listen to me.

This blog post at Home Theater Watch reminded me of it: Home Theater Watch: DVD producers lament shortened windows

Here's what I recommend that will put untold riches in the studio's hands while treating the consumer fairly AND taking into account changing technology. The media license.

Here's how it would work: I go to a movie and pay not just for a ticket, but to license the content - it's no longer an anonymous transaction, but an agreement. I could, like the blog suggests, buy the DVD on in the lobby on the way out, but in my scenerio, I already have a license to the content, so I'd only need to pay a small media charge for the DVD.

If new editions or new formats come out, I could pay the media charge and get them as well. I could not, however, resell my discs. I could show them in my home to friends as much as I want, but not lend them out. On the other hand, if the DVD format goes to HD-DVD and then to totally online, I wouldn't have to repurchase the content again and again.

Rogue Waves redux

Interesting post on rogue waves! I too wonder what the frequency is. My grandfather's grandfather was engineer (yes, a Scottish engineer) on a sound and well-maintained passenger ship with an experienced captain and crew sailing in familiar waters that foundered off Halifax, N.S., just after the turn of the 20th century. I still have copies of clippings and a copy of a long letter of condolence his widow received from their pastor.

My ancestor was the hero of the occasion, going below himself to try to keep the ship afloat long enough to get the passengers and crew off in the lifeboats. He went down with the ship, knowing when he went below that it meant he was doomed. I think this makes him a great man, but I'm not sure how much comfort that idea was to his widow on that occasion.

Yes, some people were killed in the tragedy -- stormy seas, difficulty getting boats and the people in them to other ships and to shore -- but not because anyone got stranded aboard the ship, except for my ancestor (and, I believe, the captain of the ship).

I don't know if a rogue wave was involved or not. And we'll never know, will we? But it gives one furiously to think.

Someone at JPL has a sense of humor

Of course, you'd have to be a geek like me to get it.

Cassini-Huygens-Multimedia-Images

Stop It. Just Stop It.

I'm so tire of it all. Yet it's important that we flush these guys out and get it right.

What's wrong with our political system? Money. People who want it and people who what to keep it (and get LOTS more). All of the rhetoric, the playing to religious camps and social ideals is so cynical it make the bile rise in my throat (and I had my gall bladder out last year, so that's no easy task).

Thank god for people like Bill Moyers who do really understand this issue.

Democracy in the Balance, Sojourners Magazine/August 2004 "And what is driving this shift? Contrary to what you learned in civics class in high school, it is not the so-called 'democratic debate.' That is merely a cynical charade behind which the real business goes on - the none-too-scrupulous business of getting and keeping power so that you can divide up the spoils. If you want to know what's changing America, follow the money."

Physical Theories as Women

Telling stories like this was probably why I didn't date in High School.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Physical Theories as Women

Two Large Ships Sink Every Week

Why is this fact buried inside a science article on rogue waves?

MSNBC - Satellites used to explain monster waves"'Two large ships sink every week on average, but the cause is never studied to the same detail as an air crash,' says Wolfgang Rosenthal of the GKSS Forschungszentrum GmbH research center in Germany. 'It simply gets put down to bad weather.'"

It's pretty startling, wouldn't you say? And if in 2004 it's 2 per week, what has it been in years past? Just how littered is the floor of the oceans?

Looks like we finally have some competition

Especially that I have trouble walking upright, at times.

CBC News: Monkey hits stride after near-death experience

A Quiet Night At Sweeny's

"There you go, Billy!" Mr. Jenson placed the tall root beer float in
front of the small boy at the counter. "Enjoy yourself!"

Jenson wiped his hands on a towel, then pressed his left hand against
his back, grimacing.

"Did you get injured in the war, Mr. Jenson?" Billy had abandoned the
straw and was spooning ice cream and soda into his mouth as quickly as
he could manage.

"No, Billy, I wasn't in the service."

"Well, what did you do?" His voice thick with cold.

Jenson smiled. It was a tight, thin smile, one masking the pain in
his back, or perhaps disgust. "I worked in an office, Billy."

"Really? I thought you always worked here at Sweeny's." He scooped
more of the float. "I don't know any people that work in offices."

"Not many do any more. Not many do."

"My family are all farmers. 'sept Ma, cause she teaches school."

Jenson started to speak, but then shook his head and walked to the
other end of the counter and began refilling the jar of hard candies.
But the task only took a moment and he straightened again, pressed his
back and faced the circulating fan. He tugged at his collar and tie,
then wiped the sweat from his brow with his pocket handkerchief.

But Billy remained in a talkative mood. "What'd ja do in that office,
Mr. Jenson?"

Jenson swallowed hard, then surprised at the welling of emotion,
covered his mouth.

"Wait! I bet you you was one of those 'puter guys! Was you one of
those guys, Mr. Jenson?"

Jenson poured himself a glass of water from the tap and drank half
before turning to the boy. "Yes, I worked on computers, Billy.
Computers and the internet."

"Wow! Mom says that computers was like radio with pictures. And you
could look up stuff like I do out of the Comptons!"

Jenson nodded briefly. "That's right. Just like that. But then they
turned if off and here I am, jerking soda's and staying in Sweeny's
good graces. So drink up your soda and head on home. You Mom will be
in here looking after you."

"Could you tell me more about the internet, Mr. Jenson? Nobody ever
tells me about nothing but keep'n my chores done and watch'n out to
make sure the neighbors aren't do'n nothing bad, neither."

Jenson pulled the not quite empty glass away from the boy.

"Hey, I wasn't done!"

"Go on home, Billy. And don't be asking me about things that happened
long before you was born. There are reasons folks don't talk about it
and I ain't the one to ask."

"But . . ."

Jenson came around the counter and lifted Billy off the stool and
walked him to the door. It wasn't any cooler outside, but it was just
getting dark enough to notice the gas street lights glowing brighter.

"'night, Mr. Jenson." Billy muttered as he turned right and scuffled
down the quiet street.

"Good night, Billy." Jenson sighed. He went inside and turned the
lock on the door. Looking across the street he could see Ray Farnum
staring out of the window of his hardware store at him. Jenson waved
without receiving recognition, then turned down the lights and made his
way back to his cot in the storeroom.

He groaned aloud as he eased off his shoes and laid upon the cot.
"Just turned it off. Damn me if they didn't do just that."

Here's Your New Reading List

When I create my list of banned books, it will be to list all the horrible crap I've endured. But you won't be forbidden, only warned.

These folks, on the other hand, are performing a great public service. The Forbidden Library: Banned and Challenged Books

See, I Don't Have That Much Time On My Hands

If I did, I could have done something like this: Lego Spider-Man Movie

Where You'll Find The Links

Or at least for today.

Bloglines | Clip Blog

Edwards for VP - The Anti-Cheney

This weekend we saw some pretty savvy media usage by the Kerry campaign stirring up interest in his VP selection. And they were also smart not to let it go on too long.

So it's John Edwards. Good looking young guy. Southerner. Not much experience. OK selection on merits, but excellent counterpoint to the rabid attack dog Dick Cheney. Yes, the current VP is the mastermind pulling the strings behind "Empty Suit" Bush - and an apparently evil genius, robot heart and all. Beyond that, he seems to be a completely unpleasant, if not downright repellent person - not someone you'd want as a next door neighbor (hey you kids, get off my lawn!).

Edwards has an easy smile and is strong at staying positive - get him out their on the trail NOW - counter every attach by Cheney with sunshine and light. It's not too late to turn away from the dark side.

Cassini-Huygens with the Flaven, Nice Lady . . .

This is just fascinating, remarkable stuff. And one more reason that I hope the new civilian efforts to get into space work out. There's so much fascinating stuff out there to see.

Why go to space? Money, Bub. The kind of wealth that will make Bill Gates look like a minimum wage burger flipper. Power beyond your wildest dreams. We used to call Europe "the old world" and think all the opportunity lay in the new one. Well it's all old now.

Let's blow this pop stand and see what's going is the big outside.

NASA - Entering Saturn's Magnetosphere with a Boom

Back From Vacation

Yes, happy readers, I'm back from our yearly vacation on the distant reaches of Cape Hatteras. Good times.

I'll also point out the nifty new archive menu, courtesy of the helpful folks at Blogger: http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=879.

In Alternate Universe I'm Still Bald

But I'm much thinner.

Today In Alternate History

Backup Your Blog

I am a world class procrastinator, but I eventually get around to taking care of business. It took the closing of weblogs.com for me to get off my butt and backup this online journal (still not comfortable with telling people to "check out my blog").

I'm also starting a new policy of using Blogger's email function to email me each post, which I'll use a handy mail rule to sort into an automatic backup.

Wired News: Thousands of Blogs Fall Silent

I listened to Dave Winer's audio comments and I understand that he is ill and under no obligation to continue. It's too bad he didn't make the decision sooner and allow people to backup their work. But frankly, it's not his fault. They were responsible for their own work as I am for mine. As George Carlin's classic routine tells us "This is your two minute warning. Get your shit together."

I Find This Stuff Because I'm Not A Snob

OK, I am a snob, but I have a very wide interest area.

I love working with would-be writers - from college-age to post-retirement-age individuals who dearly and deeply want to become writers - and their most frequently asked question might be paraphrased as - "What's the one thing I need above all others to become a writer?" They're often surprised when I answer (as John Gardner did in his wonderful ON BECOMING A NOVELIST), "The perspective that only a serious education can give you."

I have an advanced degree, but the serious parts of my education have been self directed. But that wouldn't have been possible without the formal part.

You'll only find Mr. Simmons if you poke around the ghettos of literature. But go looking for him. "Ilium" is a treat.

How Dogs Will Make It Possible To Live Forever

Just a little glimpse into how my mind works. Read the following article and see if you go anywhere near where I'm heading.

CNN.com - Study finds dogs understand language - Jun 10, 2004 "'You don't have to be able to talk to understand a lot,' Fischer said. The team noted that dogs have evolved with humans and have been selected for their ability to respond to the communications of people."

OK, pretty interesting. Could use to talk about the different types of intelligence. Are dogs smarter than cats, or just different? Other interesting and worthy topics come to mind as well.

But here's what come to my mind: our old companions may be critical for our next step in evolution as well.

You see, I think there's good evidence that we didn't shape dogs like we have cattle and corn. It's more likely that our two species evolved together. Not only have they evolved to be able to understand and respond to us, but we too have been shaped by their companionship.

Nature doesn't have much use for us after 40. Done with raising the next generation. It's up to us at that point to go on or fall apart. These creatures we call pets help sustain us in ways that other humans don't and can't. And should we figure out a way to stay young and healthy longer than our three score years, we'll need them more.

Children grow up and move on, necessarily separating themselves. Mates may change and move, too. Friends have lives of their own. And few of us can stand our own company endlessly. But a dog needs you. And yes, they understand you. Perhaps more importantly, they care. Other animals will be present for you, but how special a relationship, forged across the millennia, and now, likely to carry us forever forward.

Personal Assistant Wanted

Today, Neil Gaiman wrote this in his blog:

"Woken up this morning rather earlier than usual, by my assistant Lorraine. 'I made you a cup of tea,' she said. 'Can you drive me to the Hospital? I think I broke my arm in the night.' "

Where exactly does one find such a creature? A live-in, selfless assistant - something from another era, I thought. I think I'd be much more productive if I had someone like this to follow me around, keeping me on task, reminding me to write and post to this blog. Edit my spelling and grammar. Press and layout my clothes. Insist it was time to exercise. Suggest that the salad might be better than the bacon cheese burger. Answer the phone and say, "he's not to be disturbed at the moment. Perhaps I can help you."

But coffee, please, not tea.

Tick

This explains a lot. Or at least why my shoe laces keep unraveling.

Guardian Unlimited | Life | The final countdown: "The quiet periods in the fossil record where evolution seems to stagnate are a big problem for natural selection: evolution can't just switch on and off. Over 20 years ago the late Stephen Jay Gould suggested internal genetic mechanisms could regulate these quiet evolutionary periods but until now no-one could explain how it would work."

Beware of Suits Bearing Gifts

Free Hardware: a Trojan Horse?

Amen to that.

Folks in the marketing world understand the power of the word "Free", but they also think consumers are stupid. That's why, once again Microsoft will try and own your corporate soul by "giving" you hardware. Unless your IT manager is already in Microsoft's pocket, this ain't gonna happen.

Primal Fears, Part II

Remind me sometime to tell you about my completely rational fear of bears, which I developed by reading sporting magazines in barber shops.

"'My first thought was, that's a really big dolphin. But then I noticed it was swimming side to side rather than up and down,' he said."

Pucker Factor?

Years ago, before I screwed up my back, I enjoyed windsurfing. Of course I was using a 50 pound board and a huge sail mainly on the freshwater Hoover Reservoir and a few times in the protected Albermarle Sound.

Recently I've seen guys out on the Outer Banks with these kites and they're pretty amazing, but with an equally amazing learning curve. I suppose this would be motivation to get your ass out of the water, though.

A first -- from Farallones to S.F. by kite-boarding"'My pucker factor, at the thought of the sharks, was huge,' said Gibson. 'The whole idea was to tread water as little as possible. I still had a feeling we were being watched.' "

Yikes.

Old style wind surfing is tough enough to learn. You have to balance on the board, then haul the sail up out of the water. Then you have to understand the wind - not just with your head, but with your body. You have to get everything aligned, balanced, and well, spend several days just getting the hell beat out of you. When it finally clicks it's a hoot - the sensation of speed is amazing - especially when the board planes out of the water and you rip along. And these kites are another order of magnitude more complex. Even without Great White Sharks increasing your pucker.

Odd Self Discovery: I'm A Fantasy Fan

I'm a voracious reader and don't limit myself to any particular genre. It has always been easier to say what I don't like - I'm not a big fan of celebrity biography or autobiography most any form. And I certainly don't read what is know as "romance". And usually on that list was Fantasy. Swords and sorcery. Sure, I love Tolkien, but hate his imitators.

But I just finished "The Knight" by Gene Wolfe. Yes, I know I've sworn to wait till he published the second volume, but the interest took me to it on the shelf and it was TERRIFIC. God, there's good stuff there.

I've always felt more comfortable in science fiction. Seat me with the nerds, not the goths, please. But in truth, sci-fi is a sub-genre of fantasy. Hell, all fiction is a sub-genre of fantasy.

OK, I just don't care for bad books. I'll read a good one wherever I find it.

And after finishing that excellent novel I had my appetite whet for more. Time, once again, for T. H. White's "The Once And Future King"

The One With The Horse

I'm a big fan of the Illiad (read the Robert Fagles translation - it's amazing ), so I was hopeful about this movie.

But after talking with a friend that went to a preview, I'll be dammed if I give the movie makers any of my dollars.

The Iliad is one of the great works of literature for more than one reason - and here's the biggest: the story is perfect. Why fuck with it? The movie makers gain NOTHING by killing off characters and "condensing" the action. Hollywood movie logic says "bad guy" Agamemnon must die, totally ignoring that he will be murdered for his crimes by his own wife when he returns and setting off the events that help define modern justice and the turning away from revenge and vigilantism. The war lasts 10 years, not 2 weeks - which makes much more sense as to why the Greeks are at each others throats.

And the Gods - Homer's story shows them every bit as petty and vindictive as the mortals. Stubborn, vain and capricious. Yes, I can see the story told without them, but WITH them we have a powerful mirror to human interactions.

But Hollywood thinks us stupid. We've never read the story. Our literature and foundations of our society, government, and civilization doesn't resonate with its message. We just want to see some buff guys fighting with swords.

A missed opportunity.

Just Plain Wrong

Wow, does Katie Hafner writing for the New York Times blow it with her article on building a home cinema. She sets off on the wrong foot with this:

The New York Times > The Do-It-Yourself Cineplex: "My first step was to lay a few ground rules. One was to conduct thorough research but not drive myself crazy. I vowed to gather information from a handful of well-informed aficionados near my home in the San Francisco Bay area and ignore the rest.

I allowed myself to use the Web, but selectively. Product reviews and price comparisons were fine, but I steered clear of the dozens of online home theater discussion groups. Remember, some of these people are not merely opinionated fanatics, they're opinionated fanatics with too much time on their hands.

If you want advice, you're better off calling friends who have been through the home theater ordeal. Make sure they went through it recently, because like most technology, equipment and prices change almost weekly."

Let me tell you something: your friends don't know shit. And even if your friends do know something, you don't know if they're experience on this can be trusted.

And most of all, you don't know what's possible.

This can be applied to anything, but let's talk about home theater.

Before starting a project like this, survey what's possible. You might decide you'd just like a TV and some stereo speakers, or you might discover that for a little more, you can build an immersive environment. But you'll never know until you look outside your group of friends. You might find out that those Bose speakers you've been looking at don't produce as sound as well as something less expensive, but Best Buy doesn't carry them. You might find out that no, painting your wall flat white isn't the best way to save on buying a screen (but there are other colors and DIY solutions that produce very good results.) And you might find that a little more thought about the room before you look at equipment can save you $$$ and give you a great audio environment.

You picked the wrong group to ignore, Ms. Hafner. Some of us fanatics could have spent some of our "too much time" helping you.

Oh, and you really screwed your friends by showing them "Master and Commander" with a blown subwoofer. That movie rocked at my place.

Damn, Missed Another Anniversary

Gmail For All (OK, Just For Me)

I received my invitation to join the Beta test of Google's new email system last night. Gmail, when it's released to the public will be a free service which offers a free email account with a full gigabyte of storage. Most systems offer a tiny fraction of that - hell, most paid systems offer less than 10%.

It's also an interesting approach to email - making your email into "conversations" - which I find very useful. And searching - which is also cool.

I wish there were a way for me to dump 10 years of old email into it, but I'll have to work it from this point forward. And I'm not yet set on making it my main account, which also limits its usefulness.

The ads? Not a problem. And no, I don't have any more privacy concerns with them than I do with any other internet service provider.

And no, I can't get you into the beta, either. But it should be available to the public soon.

It's Due Now, Baby

"'John always knows when his homework is due.'"

This is good news. Sorta.

But it doesn't counteract the acid sent swirling in my gut this morning when I hear Rush Limbaugh proclaim that the Iraq prison abuses wasn't a bad thing at all. “If you look at the role Arab men make their women play, to make American prison guards females and give them utter power over Arab men, some might call that torture. Some might call that decent punishment. Some might say, 'Here's a taste of your own medicine. This is what you've been doing to your women, only now the tables are turned.'”

I use too think he was just a blustering idiot I didn't care for. It's clear now that that he's more than that. He's a evil man - a real bad guy. He poisons his audience, trying out messages, seeing what they'll believe. When he goes to far he'll say, "I was only kidding. Can't you tell it's all comedy?"

No. It's not funny anymore. It never was.

And shouldn't he be in prison? What happened to those drug charges? Guess it helps to have friends in high places. Too bad - he might get to see some of those prison guard abuses up close and personal.

Changing Time

Hmm - Blogger's been sprucing up the place. I've been mucking about with my template as well. We'll see how this all turns out.

Good Choice

I recommend Steven Pinker for two reasons. First and most important - he's a terrific and entertaining writer. That alone makes his books worth while.

And of course, he his also on the cutting edge of the cognitive sciences. Here's a man that can title a book "How The Mind Works" without false bravura. The man knows what he's talking about.

Steven Pinker Selected as one of the "Time100"

His most recent work, "The Blank Slate" is terrific and contains some really thought provoking ideas about ethics and morality, certainly steps beyond the simple nature vs. nurture argument.

Oh, and a third reason. Any person of intelligence that wants to seriously think about existence and human potential should read his Pinker!

While your at it, best see what George Dyson has to say as well.

When I Was Seventeen . . .

The hell with that, my teenage years were not exactly angst filled, but I have no nostalgia to return to that time and place.

Now 20, that was a good year. I finished my sophomore year of college and changed my major to something I enjoyed and was good at. I spent the summer working on a construction crew and returned to college fit, golden brown, driving my vintage Karman Ghia convertible. I was confident with myself and was finally getting the hang of dating, or at least asking for dates.

But in all, now that I am 44, I'd not go back. Going forward is much more interesting.

Apparently, somewhat gender confused as well

What Liberty Meadows Character are you?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Your are	Evil Brandy
This QuickKwiz by fabboferretsdad - Taken 78 Times.

New Car Blues

For some reason or another I've got it into my head that we need to buy a new car.

My justifications:

• Kathleen will be 16 in September and will need a vehicle
  
• The minivan has over 112,000 miles on it and I currently put around 300 miles per week on it - if we want to keep it for family vacations/road trips, we need to keep the mileage down - or plan on replacing it soon (and I'd rather not have another minivan as my daily driver).
  
• Some other really good and decisive reasons that I can't think of right now.

We've had both of our current vehicles paid off for a couple of years and it's nice to not have a car payment. We've discussed a number of options. But the new cars beckon.

My requirements: Flexible and comfortable - big enough with a hatchback so we can transport the string bass with driver and 2 passengers. Quieter on the road and more car-like (as opposed to truck-like) ride and handling.

Which brings me to the "crossover" class of vehicles - which include the Nissan Murano, the Lexus RX330, and the Infiniti FX35. All of which are terrific vehicles and much too expensive. I should never have driven the FX35. It's just too much fun (think sport car, not SUV). It just purrs. At least I didn't drive the FX45 - even I know that's too much car.

I'm going to take a step back and drive some things on the other end of the spectrum like the KIA Sorrento and the and the Hyundai Sante Fe. And to balance things out, the VW Touareg.

Sigh. It's just a hell of a lot of money. I think leasing is a scam and we do tend to keep our vehicles six years or longer, on average (the Windstar is a 98 model year, purchased in 97, my wife's Taurus is a 99 model year).

If I had to decide right now and money wasn't an issue, I'd pick the Lexus. Although I get the impression that I wouldn't be buying a car as much as joining a club. It appears to be a terrific vehicle, but I'm not really the country club type. Can I get the vehicle without the attitude?

And I Thought It Was A Surprise Birthday Party For Me

MacMinute: Jobs to speak on iTunes Music Store anniversary

If you haven't tried out iTunes for searching for and buying music, you're missing out.

My daughter, Kathleen, is a big jazz fan and plays string bass in her high school band (see previous posts here). She came home last week with a hand written list of songs she wanted to hear and learn. A few minutes in iTunes and she had them all (all that I didn't already have, I'm a jazz fan myself). We bought a half dozen tracks for 99 cents each - late Sunday evening. It's damn handy and addictive as hell.

I worry about the music industry, though. Those guys don't get it. I've seen threats of price increases. And they're unhappy with single track sales vs. CDs. But it's way cool and my preferred way of purchasing music (and yes, I've bought more total dollars worth of music in the past year than the previous one).

Ride Captain Ride

Damn. Listening to the radio and get songs stuck inbetween the ears. This time it's "Ride Captain Ride" by Blues Image.

Tell me, do the lyrics have any meaning? "Seventy three men sailed up from the San Francisco Bay . . ."

And while we're at it, what about "One Toke Over The Line". Is it really just some homesick and stoned guy whining?

Wanted: More Brave, Anonymous Patriots

‘Where is the David Halberstam of this generation?'

Where indeed.

LA Weekly: Features: Swallow This, Deep Throat "One of the reasons Deep Throat stayed anonymous back then was if it came out that he was ratting, they would kill him. That is an anonymous source."

There Is No Limit To The Cool Stuff You Can Buy On eBay

This is so out of my field, but were it closer, I'd bid it up!

eBay item 3189039958 (Ends Apr-30-04 09:58:51 PDT) - DECREASE YOUR ERDOS NUMBER! scientific coauthorship

Genius In The New Millennium

This is fucking brilliant. While once we told ghost stories around the fire, now we do it on eBay.

Dibbuk Haunted Jewish Wine Cabinet Box

Geeks And The History Buffs They Become

I've been saying for some time now that the path to intellectual enlightenment isn't science, it's history. Science is important, but it calls for breaking things down. History, real history, as broad and as detailed as possible (including archeology) makes one question the assumptions that are thrust on us. History from as many sources as possible. "Wait a minute, different people have different views of the same event?"

And first person accounts forces one to drop interpretation and try and see what it was like to be there.

Salon.com Books | The Salon Interview: Neal Stephenson "There was a review of 'Cryptonomicon' with a line in it that struck me as interesting. The guy said, 'This is a book for geeks and the history buffs that they turn into.' I'm turning into one. I'm in this history book club, which is not all geeks but it's definitely got some serious geeks in it. It's been going for four or five years maybe. We're all consistently dumbfounded by how interesting history is when you read it yourself compared to how dull it was when they made you study it in school. We can't figure out why there's that gap. I think they try to cover too broad a sweep at once so you never get down to the individual people and their stories. It's all generalities. "

Yes, geeks that are more than obsessives find their way inevitably to history.

On a side note: I really like Stephenson's work, but I'm waiting for him to finish the cycle before reading it. I HATE having material dribbled out. Yes, I understand why it's done, but I don't like it. I have the latest Gene Wolfe sitting on my shelf, unread, for the same reason.

Idiot

First, this:

CNN.com - Gun found in congressman's carry-on bag - Apr 20, 2004"Hostettler is an avid sportsman and 'hunts lots of things and does target practice,' Jahr said. 'He's been doing a lot to events in the district and may have packed the wrong bag.'"

Hey, Mr. Representative and conservative. Stand up for what's right. Let them throw the book at you like they'd do if Joe Bob down the street were to show up at the airport packing.

You people in Indiana, take note.

Oh, I'm supposed to post EVERY day?

Argh.

Yes

I was reading a pro-Mac piece online when I came across this gem:

"The word 'yes' in a man's world (especially a husband's) is truly magical, but that's another discussion thread all together. "

Ain't that the truth? What better sound can one hear? "Can I have this dance?" "Would you like to go out Saturday night?" "Can I buy this new iPod?"

Just be careful to word your questions carefully.

Some Goals are Better Than Others

I have a short reading list of RSS feeds and blogs every day - it seems like some topics make the rounds pretty quickly.

Here's one I read on boingboing.net today:

40 Things Every Drunkard Should Do Before He Dies.

First point - completing all 40 might cause one to die.

Next surprising observation: there are a couple of good ideas in this list.

I am a moderate drinker - I didn't drink as an undergraduate and didn't drink much till after I was 25 and in the work force. A couple of drinks is usually fine for me.

On the other hand, I like it. I enjoy whisky and rum neat. I'll happily drink vodka shots or a martini - the colder the better. Beer is great, but a couple of pints is plenty. I love a good port, but rarely get it. And wine with a meal is fine, but not something I have to have.

And don't get me started on Irish Coffee.

"7.) Buy a crowded bar a round. For no reason at all. Jump up on a barstool and shout it loud: “A round for the house! On me!” Make sure you have a good toast ready, because, for once, they’ll all be listening."

Jazz at Lincoln Center NewsFlash

Last week, while traveling in the UK, I learned that my oldest daughter Kathleen's jazz band has been selected as one of the top high school jazz bands and will participate in the Essentially Ellington competition and festival!

Jazz at Lincoln Center NewsFlash

We're all going on the trip - she's very excited (as am I). They'll be competing and playing with 14 other bands. Most of these bands are "from the coasts" and many are performing arts schools. Westerville South is a public school, one of three in Westerville, so this is quite an accomplishment. No other Ohio schools were selected, frankly none from the mid-west or for that matter, the entire center of the country.

Kathleen is really coming along playing the string bass - and she's featured in the Ellington original "Jack The Bear". She's the engine of a this amazing little band.

Back when I was in high school I played in our high school jazz band for my freshman year. I really enjoyed it. This was the era of Maynard Ferguson and Chuck Mangione . It was all about driving brass and we played more rock and pop than true jazz. And we didn't have a bass. Kathleen's band really swings - right now they have about ten Ellington charts (originals, as written for his orchestra) under their belts.

Proud papa, indeed.

Innocents Abroad, Version 2.0

Lots of catching up. Rather than a lot of small posts, here's the old
stream-of-consciousness bit.

Left for a business trip to the UK last Tuesday. My flight wasn't
until 3 PM, so I decided to spend the morning at home. After finishing
packing I still had some time and took this rare opportunity to go down
to the theater and watch something on my own. I selected "Big Night".
This is a terrific film, but not one that interested Diane, so this is
only the 2nd time I've seen it. The last five minutes of the movie is
perfection. I immediately went up stairs and made myself a omelet.

Boy do I hate travel by air. Yes, you get to places quickly (as long
as they are far away). But one needs to arrive 2 hours early to get
through security. Then you sit and wait. Flew to JFK, the worst of
the NYC area airports. Had to leave the terminal, walk across a
street, find my way to the elevated train, go to another terminal and
get cleared through security again. We wait. Left JFK around 6 PM and
got to Heathrow around 6 AM local time.

People on this flight weren't interested in sleeping. I dozed a bit,
but never rested. A small French speaking child a few rows up with a
very high voice talked without a moment's pause for the last 2 hours.
I arrived at my hotel, also at Heathrow around 7 AM, but they had no
rooms cleaned and ready. I had breakfast. Still no rooms. I sat in
the lobby and read. Room finally ready around 11:30. I dragged myself
up to the room and slept till 2, then watched TV and read till 6 or so,
had dinner at the hotel, and went back to bed.

Next day I had my business conference - nothing to report - went fine,
done by 6 PM, but a long day and tiring. Dinner again in the hotel and
to bed.

Friday. Made my way to the Tube (Mind the Gap) and into central
London. The Underground system is very well run, clean, new,
comfortable, and easy to understand. It took over an hour to get from
the Heathrow station to where I was going. I easily found my
appointment at 10:30 and after sat in a Starbucks and bought an hour of
wireless Internet access.

Here's two other things that drove me mad about travel: no Internet
access and no cell phone. I made 2 phone calls home, probably less
than 30 minutes total and it cost more than one hundred pounds. I'm
use to carrying a cell and though I really don't use it much, I know
that I could, at any moment, get in touch with family and work from
ANYWHERE in the US with no difference in the charge from anywhere I am.
There's no reason why I can't have the same thing from anywhere on the
planet - I'd settle for 1st world countries, but frankly, some of the
2nd and 3rd have better cellular infrastructures than the US.

Between my 2nd and 3rd meeting I walked - no convenient Tube access and
plenty of time. Even got pretty good directions from a friendly street
person. In all, I felt comfortable in London. People seemed polite
and well mannered.

After my final meeting I hopped back on the tube and went to Picadilly
Circus - a quick walk around, but couldn't find the discount theater
ticket booth. I did confirm that the Royal Shakespeare Company's
production of "All's Well That Ends Well" was sold out. Then to Covent
Garden. Saw St. Pauls and stood where Samuel Pepys did in May of 1662
and saw the first documented Punch and Judy performance.

"...an Italian puppet play, that is within the rails there, which is
very pretty, the best that I ever saw, and great resort of gallants."

Wondered around the stalls in the Market, then found a restaurant that
was recommended by a friend. Belgo. I was too early so walked around
the area till 5 (still got a snide remark from the waiter - "hope you
enjoyed your LATE lunch"). Good all the same - details here:
http://www.belgo-restaurants.com/

Before dinner I did find a stall selling discount tickets and decided
to see "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged)" by the
Reduced Shakespeare Company. Very funny. Three Americans doing what
the Marx Brothers might have done - great stuff and lots of laughing.

But while waiting for the theater, stopped again in a Covent Garden
Starbucks and managed a table by a door that wouldn't stay closed and
finished "One Hundred Years of Solitude". Incredible. Along with
"Love in the Time of Cholera" it is a wholly satisfying read, a
wonderful, imaginative, stirring book.

Saturday I took the tube back to London and spent 5 hours poking about
the Tower of London. It was a gray, cold day and ended up raining. I
had a terrific time. The tour by the Yeoman Warder was terrific.
Another "Standing in" experience: this time, the spot where Henry the
VIII stood when Anne Boleyn entered the Tower to marry him. After the
hour or so tour I spent the rest of my time walking the walls, in and
out of the various towers, spending a great deal of time in the
original or "White" tower. But by 5 my back was done and I took the
tube back to the hotel.

2nd book for the trip: "A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius". I
was put off by the title, didn't know what to expect, but did enjoy it.

Sunday: Up at what was 2 am US Central time - 8 hour flight to JFK.
Collected bag, cleared through customs and immigration. Leave the
building, ride train to another terminal - make way to street, cross
road - drag bag all the way around outside of terminal, check through
again, wait 4 hours. Made it back home around 8:30 PM.

Still recovering - it doesn't help that Diane left on a business trip
of her own Sunday afternoon and I won't see her till around 10 PM
tonight.

So - I did enjoy my first trip to London, but don't really enjoy
traveling on my own. I HATE eating by myself and truly detest being
separated from my wife (I don't mind being away from the kids for a few
days - more kid stuff to report soon). I hope the entire family will be
able to make a UK and perhaps larger European trip in the next couple
of years.

Some side observations: in the UK, I cannot predict the "color" of the
speaker. This was very clear when riding the Tube and hearing black,
Indian, Pakistani, and Asians all sounding, at least to me, like their
"white" counterparts. I stood next to two black women whose speech
instantly identified them as Black Americans. I've been made to
understand that others, not me, can determine where one grew up and
their level of education from their speech with Henry Higgins accuracy,
but not their ethnic background or skin color.

Another: Great Britain and perhaps the UK does not think of itself as a
part of Europe.

Distance: Traveling from Ireland or France and most of Europe to London
is easy and cheap. But people living in London think of Northern
England as a remote and very different country. Wales could be on the
other side of the planet. In a few weeks I'm driving the family to
Florida - a much greater distance, and I don't think of it as being
remote at all.

Love being other places, hate travel. I foresee two futures: one where
travel is easy, cheap, and takes no longer than 2 hours from any point
to another. The other and more likely: travel is very slow and very
expensive. Most people travel more than 30 miles from their home, but
virtual access is like air and water - I can go anywhere, seen and
experience anything, anytime. Frankly, I'd like travel the slow way -
take the Queen (insert name here) on a 10 day crossing. Spend a few
months on the Continent. Trains, ocean liners, zeppelins. That's the
sensible way too travel.

Toy's That Watch TV With You

First admission: I'm a big Batman fan.

But do kids really want toys that will watch TV with them?

Each episode of Warner Bros. Animation's fall 2004 "The Batman" animated series will be encoded using VEIL technology, an invisible data stream embedded in the video picture that is transmitted to and received by the removable module with LCD screen. The module is the component that brings the Batman action figure and Batmobile to life.

While watching the show, the toys can be activated to receive the encoded signal. After the signal is received, engine graphics, diagnostics, gadgets, story line background from the show, character information, power-ups, and more, are activated within the toys. In addition, when the show is on, the Batman action figure and the Batmobile vehicle recognize the show's signal and "come to life" and react with lights, motion, and sound.

Toys that play back might be interesting, but not necessarily so. And A.I. was an interesting, but not great movie. For something more interesting, see the original story.

Things We Will Never See On Star Trek

"The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life-form wearing a funny hat. "

I'm a Travel'n Man

This is pretty cool: Tools for travellers

Here's mine for the US:




Here's my world version - the UK is a near future item:

Recognition for My Forum Buddies

PCWorld has some very nice things to say about my friends at the AVSforum:

"A support site for anything related to home theater or consumer electronics, AVS Forum has exactly what a tech community needs most: smart, loyal users who offer outstanding advice to novices and enthusiasts alike."

Exactly. These people helped me immensely. I participate daily and really enjoy the folks there - it's balanced, helpful, and largely without trolls. A much different experience than slashdot or any of its ilk.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Novelist

I agree. Put the LeCarre in charge of the CIA, the Lawrence Block in charge of the FBI, and John Grisham as Attorney General.

"These ideas were out there -- any reader of trash literature could have come up with this entire plan in 28 minutes. But no: We left the CIA in the hands of Allen Dulles and Richard Helms and George H.W. Bush, people who probably don't even know what the Holcroft Covenant is. How messed up is that?
"

A fun little story by Larry Niven gives this an interesting spin as well. "The Return of William Proxmire" I won't spoil it for you. Track it down.

Oh, my tummy aches

"There is an century-old prophesy within the competitive eating community, dismissed by most, that foretells the rise of the 'One Eater' "

I didn't even know there was a "competitive eating community". I've got to get back in training!

It's hard too believe that this woman is single. Of course, under no circumstances, do not take her to dinner for a first date.

Letter to the Editor, Westerville News and Public Opinion

January 28, 2003

We have another election coming up and the school levy will once again be the most contentious issue on the ballot. Fear is overriding the facts and cool reason. We have lots of people shouting, "The school board is corrupt and evil! They're ripping you off! They're stealing and wasting your money! School teachers and administrators are getting rich while you can't afford health care!" In this atmosphere it's hard to really look at the issues.

From my perspective it boils down to this: cutting the Westerville schools to the state minimum requirements will signal the death of Westerville as a growing, prosperous, desirable community. Westerville has benefited in recent years from an influx of businesses and new homes and from its proximity to New Albany, Easton, and Polaris. What brings businesses and new residents, dollars spent in Westerville businesses, and keeps our property values rising? The quality of our schools.

Try this experiment: call a real estate agent and pose as a home buyer from out of the area interested in moving to central Ohio. Then ask them the #1 question all home buyers ask: "How are the schools?" The answer: "Well, Westerville is in a mess. They've just cut all of language, music, and art programs and barely meet the state minimum requirements. Let me show you some nice homes in New Albany, Upper Arlington, Dublin."

You want fear? Vote against the levy and the value of your home will plummet. Vote against the levy and those of us who can will put our children in private schools. Many will take the loss on their homes and move. Vote against the levy and no new businesses will move in (what if Banc One pulls out?). Welcome to the new Northland.

Randy Murray
Westerville resident

Teach Your Children Well

Russian Roulette for Kids

I feel sick, too.

"When I showed my friend, who happens to love Apple, he looked sick. He did not say anything to me. He just put his hands on his head and was in shock. I wish I had a picture of that."

How I PC'd an Apple G5

If I find out this kid's phone number, I'm telling them that their darling child destroyed a $2,500 top-of-the-line computer because he really wanted a $300 PC to play games on.

He thinks he's a genius, but he doesn't have a clue of what he could have done with all of that power. Don't want to run Mac OS X? Hell, use it for a Linux supercomputer!

Landmines are Red, Violets are Blue

Now this is slick: Flower-Power Could Help Clear Land mines

Imagine a 21st century Johnny Appleseed, striding through the battlefields, sewing a warning to all who come near.

An Increasing Margin of Error

God, I'm tired of surveys, exit and opinion polls.

And here's how you can make it stop: when asked to take a poll or survey, agree to gladly, then lie.

You must respond to the poll - if you don't, someone else will. But if you lie, they're results will become less accurate or predictive. And it's more fun that way.

I'm tired of being profiled, marginalized, and herded into pre-defined groups. I'm tired of politicians saying what they think we want to hear. And I'm particularly tired of "front runners" and "come from behind wins."

We have polls - the elections are when we speak and make our opinions known. But too many vote the way the expect others too, unwilling to "waste their vote". How can you know how others will vote without the help of the up-to-the-minute-margin-of-error-less-than-3-fucking-percent polls?

Elections and voting are a sacred duty. So the next time you walk out and as asked how you voted, smile and lie.

Randy

Nah, You Can't Replace Bill!

OK, maybe you can.

Goodnight, Captain!

Another gentle soul passes. Bob Keeshan, 'Captain Kangaroo,' dies at age 76

I remember him well from my childhood mornings. This was the time before Sesame Street, Nickelodeon, before we had more than five channels. There was a story teller, a teacher, and a funny man.

Thanks, Mr. Keeshan. Fare thee well.

Need More Words

We need more words in English.

I heard a radio interview (Morning Edition on NPR, I believe) the other day with someone talking about the 10 Commandments, or the Decalogue in Jewish tradition. Among the many interesting things that were said was the troubling nature of the 10th "saying" and its less than capital nature.

So, how serious is coveting anyway?

For me, there are not clear descriptive terms that align themselves with emotional states. The lust I feel for my wife is not the same emotional state (or physical manifestation, either, boyo) that I feel for that piece of German chocolate cake. And it's not even close to what I feel when I look at a dual processor G5 PowerMac with 23" flat panel display (OK, that did making me a little hot).

And if we begin breaking it down, there's things that I can desire, in all of its various flavors, and not want, or intend to have. And there are things I can cooly appreciate, and neither want nor desire, covet, or lust after.

Then again, if our language was more precise, completely definitive, then we would have less need for the poet. Instead of saying, "yes, it's something like that", we would all simply shake our heads in perfect agreement, saying exactly what we experienced and meant.

Back to the old map and territory business.

Oh, and the book they were talking about in the above interview was the Jewish Study Bible. Might have to get one of those.

How's is hang'n podna?

There are some authors that have one story to tell and repeat it endlessly, book after book. One of my favorite authors, James Lee Burke may be one of them, but I'll gladly pay full admission every time he wants to tell it.

I just finished "Last Car to Elysian Fields". Once more, Dave Robicheaux gets tangled up in an mess that reaches back through the years. Once more, a strange and powerful murderer flits in and out of the story. Once more a rich and influential family may be deeply involved. Good sons gone bad, trying to be good. Wives and daughters caught in the corruption and the sins of the fathers. And once more, Clete Purcel is there to happily stir the mayhem.

Yah mon. Burke has got the gift, the skill. When I read his work I can smell it, feel it, taste it. I see every picture in full high definition. And the man knows we've been down this road before and uses it to add to the tension and anticipation. Bad things are going to happen. Rough, karmic justice will be handed out.

I have a shelf devoted to Mr. Burke's works - they are a marvel. It's been a while since I've been back through them - perhaps it's time to start over. But I'm not sure I can. Dave's been through some rough territory.

Ah. I don't know the world that Robicheaux does, don't want to be any closer than these books. I don't want to wrestle with his demons, carry his weight. But I tell you honestly, there are moments, points of time in which I do, for just a moment, wish I could unleash the chaos, go full tilt boogie, get the creeps in my sights in a free fire zone.

Admit it, so do you.

No? You're right, neither do I. I was just josh'n with ya.

"Don't be shooting at nothin' you cain't see the other side of, no."

Long Week In San Francisco

OK, too busy to actually finish and post this. Here's what I intended to post on Wednesday or Thursday, but got pulled off onto something else.

__________


Been at Macworld Expo all week. These long shows wear on one.

I'm good for a three-day show, but the adrenaline will only carry me so far. And with a three hour difference in time I find that after a few days, rather than acclimate, it just catches up with me.

But, on to the show!

The show floor this year is much smaller than previous years - I believe that it's just too expensive for many companies to exhibit any more. The attendance is good and the traffic has been strong, so no complaints in that.

On the other hand, I haven't seen anything really new and unexpected - no stunning new technology, devices, or software. Why is that? Because the internet is a 24X7, 365 trade show.

What have I seen? Lots of accessories. Lots of computer, iPod, and device bags. Lots of well made software, but for the most part, not seen for the first time (ours fits in that category).

Oh, and not enough free wireless bandwidth! The show provider charges a huge amount for internet to the booth and those that do pay for it have to keep it to themselves. There are a few places where I can get it, but it's a walk and there's not much time in between meetings and spending time at the booth. Luckily, someone near our hotel room set up an open wireless connection. Thanks, macTools guys!

Ah, busy to finish - more next week.

Alms For The Poor

My friend Penny has gotten me to be a regular reader of San Francisco Chronicle columnist Jon Carroll.

I'm normally right in step with him, but today's was truly a demonstration of his skill and art. Today's column JON CARROLL - Tuesday, December 23, 2003.

Initially, I shook my head and thought, "no way - the wrong thing to do." But after a moment and thinking about what he'd said, he brought me around.

We're all experts in how other people should get their lives together. There are the worthy homeless and the unworthy homeless. You may concentrate on the adjective, or you may concentrate on the noun. I'm a noun guy.

From my perspective, charity isn't about the people you're giving to, it's about YOU. Yes, there are effective organizations that help with all sorts of problems. There are scams and crooks. But charity, giving, is a form of mindfulness. As Mr. Carroll says, it has to be enough to hurt, even just a little, so you'll notice. An alm, a physical demonstration of one's awareness of others.

Happy holiday's, all.

Does Anyone Think This Is Fun?

I admit, there's a lot of things I just don't understand, but this is going right at the top of my list:BlogShares - Fantasy Blog Share Market

How exactly is this any fun? Set us a fantasy stock market to predict the popularity of blogs?

Although I must admit that I was flattered to learn that I had 2 stock holders!

Of course, if it's anything like the real stock market just because they own stock doesn't mean that they, or anyone else for that matter, actually read this stuff.

Tomorrow: the meaning of life revealed and many sexy complications.

The Annual Xmas Letter

Every year Diane asks me to write a Christmas letter for the few cards we send out - this year you get to read it to!

December 2003

Greetings! We hope this season finds you well and happy! We’ve had a busy year, but here at the holidays we’re ready for a couple of weeks of being close to home and fewer rushed activities.

Here’s the breakdown for all of us:

Jennifer just turned 11. She’s doing a terrific job on the piano and is now starting drawing lessons, the cello and even trying some children’s theater. She’s even had her first picture on exhibit. Her picture was titled “Silent Turtle Water” (you’ll have to ask her). We’ll have her do a custom Christmas card next year. Both she and Kathleen continue to ice skate competitively – the gold medals are piling up (but I don’t think you’ll see them at the Olympics anytime soon). It’s hard to believe that Jennifer will start middle school next year.

Kathleen, now a sophomore, is in demand on the string bass and already getting paying gigs, but not making enough to cover what I charge to drive her around. She’s been selected for the All-State Jazz band and plays with the Columbus Youth Symphony Orchestra. She’ll start driver’s ed in a couple of months and is picking out cars (although she knows she’s driving the old minivan until further notice).

Diane and I completed a huge project in April with the grand opening of “Cinema Murray”, our basement-remodeling project. If you’re ever in the area stop in for a movie – but call ahead, seating is limited! I’ve been accused of obsessing about this new hobby, but I swear it’s not time for a mid-life crisis. You can check it out online at http://homepage.mac.com/cptnrandy/CinemaMurray.htm

Both of us remain working in the high pressure, high tech field, but we’re not complaining – we know too many people that are out of work. Diane runs a large technical department for the state and I’ve taken on all of the marketing and public relations for Now Software (let me know if you need any calendar software!). I’m doing a little more traveling (NYC, San Francisco, Vegas, etc.) just enough to be fun, but those redeye flights back are rough. On the health front I had my gall bladder out in February and am finally attacking my long-term back pain – a mix of kidney stones and arthritis – but hopefully controllable with exercise and medication.

We have been keeping up with our yearly vacation to Cape Hatteras and, this year, we are also planning a family trip to Boston. And by this time next year we’ll be looking at colleges for Kathleen!

Don’t forget to write (regular mail or email to cptnrandy@mac.com). And if you can, come for a visit!

All the best this holiday season.

Randy, Diane, Kathleen, and Jennifer

Good With The Bad

This Yin and Yang thing is a bitch.

First, something I got a kick out of - a little thing, perhaps, but I regard it as a milestone.

Friday morning when I got in the office I had a phone message from a headhunter - I do get them from time to time. But this time it was different - this was the call, the big show, as they say in baseball.

I've spent my entire career in the software industry and from the start I've been a Mac fan. I've done good work and had more than a few chances to do some very cool things. For the last few years I've been working in a Mac software company (OK, cross platform, but we're all Mac fans here).

The call was from one of the big players - they knew who I was, what'd I'd done, and were interested in me. It was extremely flattering.

But I had no trouble saying, "thanks for thinking of me, but I'm not interested". It would have been a very interesting job, but there's no way I could uproot the family and move to California. But just like a proposition to a married man from a beautiful woman - sometimes it's just nice to be asked.

Just so the universe stays in balance, I learned yesterday that my ongoing back pain is not kidney stones, but arthritis. That's just damn depressing. So new drugs, physical therapy, and lots of X-rays, MRIs, CTs and paper hospital gowns. Trust me, it could have been worse news, but I reserve the right to be depressed for a little while. I hope that in a few months I'll feel better and be in better shape. I certainly hope so - my back's been killing me for days now. And knowing what's causing it makes me feel too damn old.

I Love A True Obsession

I recently got an early Xmas present: an expresso machine. I've barely learned to operate the thing, but in search of answers, I've found these fine fellows:

CoffeeGeek - Information, Opinion, Reviews, and More

For real fun, check out the long article on milk frothing.

Chafferers with Laptops

I'm in one of those inexplicable reading droughts again, and for once, it may be a good thing. I've been reading Barbara Tuchman's "Stilwell and the American Experience in China, 1911-45", which is an amazing book, but not at this moment compelling me to gobble it down in one gulp.

So, last night when I took the girls to a late Sunday evening skating session, I took my nifty 12" Powerbook.

And here's what happened:


Post Modem


Chapter 1

“So, Mr. Nash. How quickly can you help us fill this position?”

I really don’t like taking on new customers, but the economy of the last few years had finally caught up with me. My base of customers wasn’t half what it had been before the turn of the century and the ones that remained weren’t hiring much. But I was far from destitute and when times are bad, companies have to be sure and hire the right people the first time around. So they need me, but they don’t like it. They’re more likely to argue with my fee structure and try and bargain with me. I rarely bargain and I certainly wasn’t in the mood for it today.

“I’m sure I can find the right person for you pretty quickly. Just how quickly do you need someone?”

Mr. Bemidji managed a weak smile. “Today, tomorrow, any time this week.” He made a strange strangled laugh. “Really Mr. Nash. We need someone immediately. We wouldn’t be speaking to you if we didn’t need to find a replacement, er, well immediately.”

I took a moment and scratched behind my right ear and looked again at his desktop. Some people have clean desks, but very few have completely empty ones. The office was clearly his, but he had arranged it in such a manner that after every task he could return it to a complete null state. When I had been escorted in he was using a slim sliver laptop, but he closed it and slid it into a desk drawer before rising to shake my hand and offer me a seat. I waited, scratching and thinking until he looked close to tears.

“Perhaps you’re talking to the wrong man. It will probably take a few weeks for me to discover what you need and several more to find the right person. I’m not sitting on a stable of blank slates I can shoe horn into any opening.”

“Mr. Nash …”

“Let me tell you how I work, Mr. Bemidji. You’ve spoken to three of my customers already. That’s why I agreed to this meeting. The way I work and my fees are not negotiable. But if you let me do my job, I will find the right person for you.”

Time to wait again, but it wasn’t long.

“Mr. Nash, I was told you were the best executive recruiter in the area.”

“Headhunter. I’m a headhunter, Mr. Bemidji. I don’t dignify it with fancy titles. And I’m not here to find just someone to fill a job, am I? You need someone very specific, and I’m here to find that person for you.”

Bemidji shifted, but only slightly, in his chair. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Yes, Mr. Nash. We need someone very specific.”

“And I’d be happy to help you.” I took a single sheet of paper from my portfolio and laid it in front of him. “If you’ll sign here we can begin.”

He stared at the contract in front of him. He’d seen it earlier when I emailed him a copy and instructed him we would be signing it, unaltered, before we began. He spoke without taking his eyes off the contract. “This is a very unusual way of doing business, Mr. Nash.”

“It is, isn’t it? But it’s the way I work and the only way I work. Sign it and we begin or don’t and I’ll leave.”

My agreement is very simple. Once engaged, I research the company, the tasks, the history, everything down to the competition and market conditions. Then I bring back a single candidate. I name the salary and benefits package. There are no interviews, no committees, no HR vetting. The company receives a “dossier”, for lack of a better term, and they have 24 hours to decide. I do not offer a second candidate. My fee is equivalent to one year’s salary of this new hire.

“You can do this?” he asked.

“Yes. I can.”

He slid open the drawer to his left, selected a pen, and signed the contract without hesitation, then replaced the pen, closed the drawer and pushed the contract back across the desk to me. “Mr. Nash, last night the president of our company was murdered. We need you to find a replacement in no more than three weeks.”

Now it was my turn to sigh. I took out my pen and signed the contract, dated it and placed it in my portfolio.

“Then let’s get started.”

Why Fiction Is Important

The other day John mentioned that a friend of his didn't have a TV and wouldn't read fiction "because it isn't real".

I've been faced with this before, but it's clear to me that this attitude boxes one in on what can be known and experienced. How gray life would be without imagination. How unknowable would life and experience be if only cold analysis and reporting feeds me. Perspective is virtually unreachable without fiction's ability to say, "here's what it might have been like".

And there's power in fiction. A story, well told, can make the unthinkable real and in some cases, turn away the unthinkable by setting it out with "if we keep on this way . . ."

And I think this is one example: Fallout from 'The Day After'. I remember it well.

Abraham Lincoln is, by legend, reported as telling Harriet Beecher Stowe, ""So you're the little woman who wrote the book that started this Great War!" Is it possible that this nearly forgotten TV movie may have caused a war NOT to have been started?

Thank you, Mr. Meyers.

There And Back Again

So, on Monday I arrive at the airport before 7:30 A.M. to discover that my 9:10 A.M. flight will now leave at 12:38 P.M.. Too short a time to leave and return, but a long wait nonetheless.

We arrive in Las Vegas 4 hours late and miss our first 2 meetings. The 3rd I get to with minutes to spare. Then I rush to another hotel to do 3 solid hours of prattling about our wonderful software. When it's over and after midnight by my clock, we go to dinner with the President, Publisher, and Sales guy from PC World at the Top of The World. Wonderful view, very late for poor Randy.

But we're in Vegas, so we have to spend at least some time in the Casino. I'm not much of a gambler (risk taker, yes, gambler, no), but I'd received a complete tutorial of the game "Let It Ride" from a friend. After 2 hours, I actually got up having gained $37.

Total day from getting up to back to bed: 23 hours.

After a few spent sleeping, more meetings then a flight back. Home around 11:30 P.M.

Back at the office at 8 A.M. to discover 85 real, non-spam items to deal with in my email inbox.

Sometimes, it would be nice to be needed just a little less.

Memory From Your Milk Jug

Last summer on the beach, sitting looking at the stars, our conversation turned to the future. We pass through Kitty Hawk on our way to Buxton and vacation within sight of the famous Cape Hatteras lighthouse.

My daughters marveled at the technological progress of not just the last hundred years since that first flight, but on what's occurred since I left high school in 1978. They wondered what life might be for them in the next 20 or 30 years.

And I told them, without hesitation, that they ain't seen noth'n yet.

For instance, here's an article at newscientist.com: Plastic memory promises cheap, dense storage.

Sounds like pretty useful stuff. But I don't think one can imagine the impact of nanotech, bio-engineering, new materials.

Now I ask you, are our lives that very much different that those who have gone before over this last 10,000 years?

Hell yes.

A Glass Of Wine With You, Sir

Penny pointed me to the following article on Master & Comander

An interesting article, but unfortunately wrong. Way off. Sorry, Mr. Nevius, but you've missed the point.

I've been wondering for some time about two things. Would the movie be anything but "inspired" by the books I love so much. AND would the movie reviewers and critics bother to read the books. I'm less concerned about the first than the second.

The movie must stand on its own - I'm hoping it will be fun and not too unconnected from the characters as laid out by Mr. O'Brian. But the books are not, I must insist, a simple collection of seafaring novels. The Napoleonic Wars were NOT a footnote in history. For the most part, the readers of these novels have no desire to actually experience life on one of these voyages. It was at best unpleasant and dangerous. The books are not arcane and filled with impenetrable jargon. OK, well, they are, but that's part of the humor - got to read it to get it.

You see, these books are adventures. They tell a great, thumping story of war and adversity overcome. There's sea battles, storms, spies, and intrigue. There's romance, deceit, treachery, and triumph over incredible odds.

But what makes these books interesting is the development of these characters. Over the course of 20 books, really one long novel, we get to know Jack Aubrey and Steven Maturin. We really get to know them. They are amazing men, but far from perfect. Brilliant in their own environments, foolish in others. Weak, impulsive, jealous, compassionate, but most important, competent. These men know their jobs and that is always fascinating.

I recently read these novels again, not to experience the adventure once more, but to spend some more time with my friends. In a recent New Yorker interview, Quentin Tarinteno talked about "hang out" movies. The type of movie where you love the characters so much you watch them from time to time just to hang out and not feel lonely. Aubrey, Maturin, Killick, Bonden and all the crew are my friends and I enjoy spending time with them.

Another writer recently called these novels "anachronistic". Read the fucking books before you write about them! No, these are not Hornblower novels grown up. No, they're not a anachronistic mess like "The Alienist". O'Brian's characters don't know things they shouldn't in the early 1800's. Some of the funniest scenes are with Steven as a brilliant surgeon for the time, but who thinks that the naval officers are too concerned with cleanliness.

If you have not read them, please do yourself a favor and start. Don't try to force the story into something you know or think you know. Let Mr. O'Brian tell you the story at your pace. Steven Maturin will be at your side, clueless as you, as you try to make sense of the jargon and operation of a ship of the line.

And sure, go see the movie. Just ignore the critics. They haven't read the books and they don't know what they're talking about.

Fictional Places, Real Environments

In seeing Penny's recent post on Nero Wolfe it made me recall a surprise I had a year or so ago.

I was walking back to my hotel from Javits Convention Center in NYC when I spied this plaque on an otherwise nondescript building.

Someday I'll have to make a trip to Florida to the Bahia Mar marina and look slip F-18.

It's Not What You Know

I had a strange experience the other day. It was really more of a
realization that has lead to a long chain of thoughts.

Last Saturday night, we invited one of Diane's coworkers, his girlfriend and her kids (I'm not sure the word "family" applies, but that's essentially what it is) over to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas.

We all enjoyed the movie and after he asked, "Do you know how Penny doing? I had read about her surgery on her blog and hadn't seen anything since."

I assured him she was doing fine (as you can see from recent updates), but in that moment an entire chain of thoughts erupted. I've only met Brian twice, but he knows LOTS of stuff about me. He works with Diane. They are good friends and talk daily. Brian met Penny some time back and they are friends. Penny and I are close friends and have been for years. Penny has a blog and in it links to this blog.

QED: Brian could potentially know more about me than virtually anyone
else. Not all, not by a long shot, but lots.

Weird.

Of course, I know some of the details of his life, the kind of things that you'd expect to learn about the friend of a spouse, but that's only one point of contact. Brian has three, which puts him far ahead of a general reader of this blog.

Frankly, it doesn't bother me. It is, essentially, the writer's burden. Do your work well and people you don't know will eventually learn a great deal about you and everything you know, everyone you know. I can't and don't worry about it.

The tough but essential part: one can't care what people think about you. You can't control it, so don't try.

Early on in my training as a playwright I learned, to my horror, that I couldn't control every part of production. Even worse, the playwright can't control ANY part of production. I had the good fortune of a main season production at a major university. It was thrilling, until it was time to go see it. It was a very good production, but I wasn't in control. It made me nuts for a while, but once I learned that I couldn't direct the play, act all the parts, sew the costumes, paint the scenery, run the lights, pop the popcorn and sell the tickets AND be the entire audience, I was fine.

Actually, it's quite freeing. I write this stuff. You read it. We never meet.

Enjoy.

How To Overload A Book Shelf

If you don't know Gene Wolfe, you're missing one of the truly great living writers. This man is a master, someone who can tell you a story and with each step, each chapter, make you reconsider what you thought the story was about. Once you learn to listen, you'll learn amazing things.

And I see he has something new coming:
The Knight : Book One of The Wizard Knight.

If you have not read Wolfe, start with The Shadow of the Torturer. Let Mr. Wolfe tell you the story, don't try to force it into what you already think you know.

I have an entire bookshelf in my home office devoted, as I am, to Wolfe.

Here We Go, Into The Wild, Blue, Younder

Traveling for work this week, so posting is questionable (and yes, my posts are mostly questionable, but that's beside the point).

Talk about a mad trip. I leave from Columbus at 6 am Tuesday (which means I need to be to Port Columbus around 4:30 am). Thank god for Daylight Savings Time. I get to San Jose and rush to my first interview by Noon local time. Total of three all the hell over the place.

Three more appointments on Wednesday, then my return flight leaves around 10:30 p.m.. Puts me back into Columbus, if everything goes as planned, around 9:30 a.m. on Thursday.

Why do I do this? First, there's no good way to get back from the West Coast - just as well do the redeye. And Thursday night is "Beggars' Night", since having Trick or Treat actually on Halloween would be throwing our children to the devil or tempt them into delinquency.

So, long trip, short time. And next month I do the same thing to Vegas and back in less time!